CHAPTER 7.

by Mary Wollstonecraft

　　MODESTY COMPREHENSIVELY CONSIDERED AND NOT AS A SEXUAL VIRTUE.Modesty! Sacred offspring of sensibility and reason! true delicacyof mind! may I unblamed presume to investigate thy nature, andtrace to its covert the mild charm, that mellowing each harshfeature of a character, renders what would otherwise only inspirecold admiration—lovely! Thou that smoothest the wrinkles ofwisdom, and softenest the tone of the more sublime virtues tillthey all melt into humanity! thou that spreadest the ethereal cloudthat surrounding love heightens every beauty, it half shades,breathing those coy sweets that steal into the heart, and charm thesenses—modulate for me the language of persuasive reason, till Irouse my sex from the flowery bed, on which they supinely sleeplife away!

　　In speaking of the association of our ideas, I have noticed twodistinct modes; and in defining modesty, it appears to me equallyproper to discriminate that purity of mind, which is the effect ofchastity, from a simplicity of character that leads us to form ajust opinion of ourselves, equally distant from vanity orpresumption, though by no means incompatible with a loftyconsciousness of our own dignity. Modesty in the lattersignification of the term, is that soberness of mind which teachesa man not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think,and should be distinguished from humility, because humility is akind of self-abasement. A modest man often conceives a great plan,and tenaciously adheres to it, conscious of his own strength, tillsuccess gives it a sanction that determines its character. Miltonwas not arrogant when he suffered a suggestion of judgment toescape him that proved a prophesy; nor was General Washington whenhe accepted of the command of the American forces. The latter hasalways been characterized as a modest man; but had he been merelyhumble, he would probably have shrunk back irresolute, afraid oftrusting to himself the direction of an enterprise on which so muchdepended.

　　A modest man is steady, an humble man timid, and a vain onepresumptuous; this is the judgment, which the observation of manycharacters, has led me to form. Jesus Christ was modest, Moses washumble, and Peter vain.

　　Thus discriminating modesty from humility in one case, I do notmean to confound it with bashfulness in the other. Bashfulness, infact, is so distinct from modesty, that the most bashful lass, orraw country lout, often becomes the most impudent; for theirbashfulness being merely the instinctive timidity of ignorance,custom soon changes it into assurance.*

　　(*Footnote. "Such is the country-maiden's fright,

　　When first a red-coat is in sight;

　　Behind the door she hides her face,

　　Next time at distance eyes the lace:

　　She now can all his terrors stand,

　　Nor from his squeeze withdraws her hand,

　　She plays familiar in his arms,

　　And every soldier hath his charms;

　　>From tent to tent she spreads her flame;

　　For custom conquers fear and shame.")

　　The shameless behaviour of the prostitutes who infest the streetsof London, raising alternate emotions of pity and disgust, mayserve to illustrate this remark. They trample on virginbashfulness with a sort of bravado, and glorying in their shame,become more audaciously lewd than men, however depraved, to whomthe sexual quality has not been gratuitously granted, ever appearto be. But these poor ignorant wretches never had any modesty tolose, when they consigned themselves to infamy; for modesty is avirtue not a quality. No, they were only bashful, shame-facedinnocents; and losing their innocence, their shame-facedness wasrudely brushed off; a virtue would have left some vestiges in themind, had it been sacrificed to passion, to make us respect thegrand ruin.

　　Purity of mind, or that genuine delicacy, which is the onlyvirtuous support of chastity, is near a-kin to that refinement ofhumanity, which never resides in any but cultivated minds. It issomething nobler than innocence; it is the delicacy of reflection,and not the coyness of ignorance. The reserve of reason, whichlike habitual cleanliness, is seldom seen in any great degree,unless the soul is active, may easily be distinguished from rusticshyness or wanton skittishness; and so far from being incompatiblewith knowledge, it is its fairest fruit. What a gross idea ofmodesty had the writer of the following remark! "The lady whoasked the question whether women may be instructed in the modernsystem of botany, consistently with female delicacy?" was accusedof ridiculous prudery: nevertheless, if she had proposed thequestion to me, I should certainly have answered—They cannot."Thus is the fair book of knowledge to be shut with an everlastingseal! On reading similar passages I have reverentially lifted upmy eyes and heart to Him who liveth for ever and ever, and said, Omy Father, hast Thou by the very constitution of her nature forbidThy child to seek Thee in the fair forms of truth? And, can hersoul be sullied by the knowledge that awfully calls her to Thee?

　　I have then philosophically pursued these reflections till Iinferred, that those women who have most improved their reason musthave the most modesty —though a dignified sedateness of deportmentmay have succeeded the playful, bewitching bashfulness of youth.*

　　(*Footnote. Modesty, is the graceful calm virtue of maturity;bashfulness, the charm of vivacious youth.)

　　And thus have I argued. To render chastity the virtue from whichunsophisticated modesty will naturally flow, the attention shouldbe called away from employments, which only exercise thesensibility; and the heart made to beat time to humanity, ratherthan to throb with love. The woman who has dedicated aconsiderable portion of her time to pursuits purely intellectual,and whose affections have been exercised by humane plans ofusefulness, must have more purity of mind, as a naturalconsequence, than the ignorant beings whose time and thoughts havebeen occupied by gay pleasures or schemes to conquer hearts. Theregulation of the behaviour is not modesty, though those who studyrules of decorum, are, in general termed modest women. Make theheart clean, let it expand and feel for all that is human, insteadof being narrowed by selfish passions; and let the mind frequentlycontemplate subjects that exercise the understanding, withoutheating the imagination, and artless modesty will give thefinishing touches to the picture.

　　She who can discern the dawn of immortality, in the streaks thatshoot athwart the misty night of ignorance, promising a clearerday, will respect, as a sacred temple, the body that enshrines suchan improvable soul. True love, likewise, spreads this kind ofmysterious sanctity round the beloved object, making the lover mostmodest when in her presence. So reserved is affection, that,receiving or returning personal endearments, it wishes, not only toshun the human eye, as a kind of profanation; but to diffuse anencircling cloudy obscurity to shut out even the saucy sparklingsunbeams. Yet, that affection does not deserve the epithet ofchaste which does not receive a sublime gloom of tender melancholy,that allows the mind for a moment to stand still and enjoy thepresent satisfaction, when a consciousness of the Divine presenceis felt—for this must ever be the food of joy!

　　As I have always been fond of tracing to its source in nature anyprevailing custom, I have frequently thought that it was asentiment of affection for whatever had touched the person of anabsent or lost friend, which gave birth to that respect for relics,so much abused by selfish priests. Devotion, or love, may beallowed to hallow the garments as well as the person; for the lovermust want fancy, who has not a sort of sacred respect for the gloveor slipper of his mistress. He could not confound them with vulgarthings of the same kind.

　　This fine sentiment, perhaps, would not bear to be analyzed by theexperimental philosopher—but of such stuff is human rapture madeup!— A shadowy phantom glides before us, obscuring every otherobject; yet when the soft cloud is grasped, the form melts intocommon air, leaving a solitary void, or sweet perfume, stolen fromthe violet, that memory long holds dear. But, I have trippedunawares on fairy ground, feeling the balmy gale of spring stealingon me, though November frowns.

　　As a sex, women are more chaste than men, and as modesty is theeffect of chastity, they may deserve to have this virtue ascribedto them in rather an appropriated sense; yet, I must be allowed toadd an hesitating if:— for I doubt, whether chastity will producemodesty, though it may propriety of conduct, when it is merely arespect for the opinion of the world, and when coquetry and thelovelorn tales of novelists employ the thoughts. Nay, fromexperience, and reason, I should be lead to expect to meet withmore modesty amongst men than women, simply because men exercisetheir understandings more than women.

　　But, with respect to propriety of behaviour, excepting one class offemales, women have evidently the advantage. What can be moredisgusting than that impudent dross of gallantry, thought so manly,which makes many men stare insultingly at every female they meet?Is this respect for the sex? This loose behaviour shows suchhabitual depravity, such weakness of mind, that it is vain toexpect much public or private virtue, till both men and women growmore modest—till men, curbing a sensual fondness for the sex, oran affectation of manly assurance, more properly speaking,impudence, treat each other with respect—unless appetite orpassion gives the tone, peculiar to it, to their behaviour. I meaneven personal respect—the modest respect of humanity, andfellow-feeling; not the libidinous mockery of gallantry, nor theinsolent condescension of protectorship.

　　To carry the observation still further, modesty must heartilydisclaim, and refuse to dwell with that debauchery of mind, whichleads a man coolly to bring forward, without a blush, indecentallusions, or obscene witticisms, in the presence of a fellowcreature; women are now out of the question, for then it isbrutality. Respect for man, as man is the foundation of everynoble sentiment. How much more modest is the libertine who obeysthe call of appetite or fancy, than the lewd joker who sets thetable in a roar.

　　This is one of the many instances in which the sexual distinctionrespecting modesty has proved fatal to virtue and happiness. Itis, however, carried still further, and woman, weak woman! made byher education the slave of sensibility, is required, on the mosttrying occasions, to resist that sensibility. "Can any thing,"says Knox, be more absurd than keeping women in a state ofignorance, and yet so vehemently to insist on their resistingtemptation? Thus when virtue or honour make it proper to check apassion, the burden is thrown on the weaker shoulders, contrary toreason and true modesty, which, at least, should render theself-denial mutual, to say nothing of the generosity of bravery,supposed to be a manly virtue.

　　In the same strain runs Rousseau's and Dr. Gregory's advicerespecting modesty, strangely miscalled! for they both desire awife to leave it in doubt, whether sensibility or weakness led herto her husband's arms. The woman is immodest who can let theshadow of such a doubt remain on her husband's mind a moment.

　　But to state the subject in a different light. The want ofmodesty, which I principally deplore as subversive of morality,arises from the state of warfare so strenuously supported byvoluptuous men as the very essence of modesty, though, in fact, itsbane; because it is a refinement on sensual desire, that men fallinto who have not sufficient virtue to relish the innocentpleasures of love. A man of delicacy carries his notions ofmodesty still further, for neither weakness nor sensibility willgratify him—he looks for affection.

　　Again; men boast of their triumphs over women, what do they boastof? Truly the creature of sensibility was surprised by hersensibility into folly—into vice;* and the dreadful reckoningfalls heavily on her own weak head, when reason wakes. For whereart thou to find comfort, forlorn and disconsolate one? He whoought to have directed thy reason, and supported thy weakness, hasbetrayed thee! In a dream of passion thou consentedst to wanderthrough flowery lawns, and heedlessly stepping over the precipiceto which thy guide, instead of guarding, lured thee, thou startestfrom thy dream only to face a sneering, frowning world, and to findthyself alone in a waste, for he that triumphed in thy weakness isnow pursuing new conquests; but for thee—there is no redemption onthis side the grave! And what resource hast thou in an enervatedmind to raise a sinking heart?

　　(*Footnote. The poor moth fluttering round a candle, burns itswings.)

　　But, if the sexes be really to live in a state of warfare, ifnature has pointed it out, let men act nobly, or let pride whisperto them, that the victory is mean when they merely vanquishsensibility. The real conquest is that over affection not taken bysurprise—when, like Heloisa, a woman gives up all the world,deliberately, for love. I do not now consider the wisdom or virtueof such a sacrifice, I only contend that it was a sacrifice toaffection, and not merely to sensibility, though she had her share.And I must be allowed to call her a modest woman, before I dismissthis part of the subject, by saying, that till men are more chaste,women will be immodest. Where, indeed, could modest women findhusbands from whom they would not continually turn with disgust?Modesty must be equally cultivated by both sexes, or it will everremain a sickly hot-house plant, whilst the affectation of it, thefig leaf borrowed by wantonness, may give a zest to voluptuousenjoyments.)

　　Men will probably still insist that woman ought to have moremodesty than man; but it is not dispassionate reasoners who willmost earnestly oppose my opinion. No, they are the men of fancy,the favourites of the sex, who outwardly respect, and inwardlydespise the weak creatures whom they thus sport with. They cannotsubmit to resign the highest sensual gratification, nor even torelish the epicurism of virtue—self-denial.

　　To take another view of the subject, confining my remarks to women.

　　The ridiculous falsities which are told to children, from mistakennotions of modesty, tend very early to inflame their imaginationsand set their little minds to work, respecting subjects, whichnature never intended they should think of, till the body arrivedat some degree of maturity; then the passions naturally begin totake place of the senses, as instruments to unfold theunderstanding, and form the moral character.

　　In nurseries, and boarding schools, I fear, girls are firstspoiled; particularly in the latter. A number of girls sleep inthe same room, and wash together. And, though I should be sorry tocontaminate an innocent creature's mind by instilling falsedelicacy, or those indecent prudish notions, which early cautionsrespecting the other sex naturally engender, I should be veryanxious to prevent their acquiring indelicate, or immodest habits;and as many girls have learned very indelicate tricks, fromignorant servants, the mixing them thus indiscriminately together,is very improper.

　　To say the truth, women are, in general, too familiar with eachother, which leads to that gross degree of familiarity that sofrequently renders the marriage state unhappy. Why in the name ofdecency are sisters, female intimates, or ladies and their waitingwomen, to be so grossly familiar as to forget the respect which onehuman creature owes to another? That squeamish delicacy whichshrinks from the most disgusting offices when affection or humanitylead us to watch at a sick pillow, is despicable. But, why womenin health should be more familiar with each other than men are,when they boast of their superiour delicacy, is a solecism inmanners which I could never solve.

　　In order to preserve health and beauty, I should earnestlyrecommend frequent ablutions, to dignify my advice that it may notoffend the fastidious ear; and, by example, girls ought to betaught to wash and dress alone, without any distinction of rank;and if custom should make them require some little assistance, letthem not require it till that part of the business is over whichought never to be done before a fellow-creature; because it is aninsult to the majesty of human nature. Not on the score ofmodesty, but decency; for the care which some modest women take,making at the same time a display of that care, not to let theirlegs be seen, is as childish as immodest.*

　　(*Footnote. I remember to have met with a sentence, in a book ofeducation that made me smile. "It would be needless to caution youagainst putting your hand, by chance, under your neck-handkerchief;for a modest woman never did so!")

　　I could proceed still further, till I animadverted on some stillmore indelicate customs, which men never fall into. Secrets aretold—where silence ought to reign; and that regard to cleanliness,which some religious sects have, perhaps, carried too far,especially the Essenes, amongst the Jews, by making that an insultto God which is only an insult to humanity, is violated in a brutalmanner. How can DELICATE women obtrude on notice that part of theanimal economy, which is so very disgusting? And is it not veryrational to conclude, that the women who have not been taught torespect the human nature of their own sex, in these particulars,will not long respect the mere difference of sex, in theirhusbands? After their maidenish bashfulness is once lost, I, infact, have generally observed, that women fall into old habits; andtreat their husbands as they did their sisters or femaleacquaintance.

　　Besides, women from necessity, because their minds are notcultivated, have recourse very often, to what I familiarly termbodily wit; and their intimacies are of the same kind. In short,with respect to both mind and body, they are too intimate. Thatdecent personal reserve, which is the foundation of dignity ofcharacter, must be kept up between women, or their minds will nevergain strength or modesty.

　　On this account also, I object to many females being shut uptogether in nurseries, schools, or convents. I cannot recollectwithout indignation, the jokes and hoiden tricks, which knots ofyoung women indulged themselves in, when in my youth accident threwme, an awkward rustic, in their way. They were almost on a parwith the double meanings, which shake the convivial table when theglass has circulated freely. But it is vain to attempt to keep theheart pure, unless the head is furnished with ideas, and set towork to compare them, in order, to acquire judgment, bygeneralizing simple ones; and modesty by making the understandingdamp the sensibility.

　　It may be thought that I lay too great a stress on personalreserve; but it is ever the hand-maid of modesty. So that were Ito name the graces that ought to adorn beauty, I should instantlyexclaim, cleanliness, neatness, and personal reserve. It isobvious, I suppose, that the reserve I mean, has nothing sexual init, and that I think it EQUALLY necessary in both sexes. Sonecessary indeed, is that reserve and cleanliness which indolentwomen too often neglect, that I will venture to affirm, that whentwo or three women live in the same house, the one will be mostrespected by the male part of the family, who reside with them,leaving love entirely out of the question, who pays this kind ofhabitual respect to her person.

　　When domestic friends meet in a morning, there will naturallyprevail an affectionate seriousness, especially, if each lookforward to the discharge of daily duties; and it may be reckonedfanciful, but this sentiment has frequently risen spontaneously inmy mind. I have been pleased after breathing the sweet bracingmorning air, to see the same kind of freshness in the countenancesI particularly loved; I was glad to see them braced, as it were,for the day, and ready to run their course with the sun. Thegreetings of affection in the morning are by these means morerespectful, than the familiar tenderness which frequently prolongsthe evening talk. Nay, I have often felt hurt, not to saydisgusted, when a friend has appeared, whom I parted with fulldressed the evening before, with her clothes huddled on, becauseshe chose to indulge herself in bed till the last moment.

　　Domestic affection can only be kept alive by these neglectedattentions; yet if men and women took half as much pains to dresshabitually neat, as they do to ornament, or rather to disfiguretheir persons, much would be done towards the attainment of purityof mind. But women only dress to gratify men of gallantry; for thelover is always best pleased with the simple garb that sits closeto the shape. There is an impertinence in ornaments that rebuffsaffection; because love always clings round the idea of home.

　　As a sex, women are habitually indolent; and every thing tends tomake them so. I do not forget the starts of activity whichsensibility produces; but as these flights of feeling only increasethe evil, they are not to be confounded with the slow, orderly walkof reason. So great, in reality, is their mental and bodilyindolence, that till their body be strengthened and theirunderstanding enlarged by active exertions, there is little reasonto expect that modesty will take place of bashfulness. They mayfind it prudent to assume its semblance; but the fair veil willonly be worn on gala days.

　　Perhaps there is not a virtue that mixes so kindly with every otheras modesty. It is the pale moon-beam that renders more interestingevery virtue it softens, giving mild grandeur to the contractedhorizon. Nothing can be more beautiful than the poetical fiction,which makes Diana with her silver crescent, the goddess ofchastity. I have sometimes thought, that wandering with sedatestep in some lonely recess, a modest dame of antiquity must havefelt a glow of conscious dignity, when, after contemplating thesoft shadowy landscape, she has invited with placid fervour themild reflection of her sister's beams to turn to her chaste bosom.

　　A Christian has still nobler motives to incite her to preserve herchastity and acquire modesty, for her body has been called theTemple of the living God; of that God who requires more thanmodesty of mien. His eye searcheth the heart; and let herremember, that if she hopeth to find favour in the sight of purityitself, her chastity must be founded on modesty, and not on worldlyprudence; or verily a good reputation will be her only reward; forthat awful intercourse, that sacred communion, which virtueestablishes between man and his Maker, must give rise to the wishof being pure as he is pure!

　　After the foregoing remarks, it is almost superfluous to add, thatI consider all those feminine airs of maturity, which succeedbashfulness, to which truth is sacrificed, to secure the heart of ahusband, or rather to force him to be still a lover when naturewould, had she not been interrupted in her operations, have madelove give place to friendship, as immodest. The tenderness which aman will feel for the mother of his children is an excellentsubstitute for the ardour of unsatisfied passion; but to prolongthat ardour it is indelicate, not to say immodest, for women tofeign an unnatural coldness of constitution. Women as well as menought to have the common appetites and passions of their nature,they are only brutal when unchecked by reason: but the obligationto check them is the duty of mankind, not a sexual duty. Nature,in these respects, may safely be left to herself; let women onlyacquire knowledge and humanity, and love will teach them modesty.There is no need of falsehoods, disgusting as futile, for studiedrules of behaviour only impose on shallow observers; a man of sensesoon sees through, and despises the affectation.

　　The behaviour of young people, to each other, as men and women, isthe last thing that should be thought of in education. In fact,behaviour in most circumstances is now so much thought of, thatsimplicity of character is rarely to be seen; yet, if men wereonly anxious to cultivate each virtue, and let it take root firmlyin the mind, the grace resulting from it, its natural exteriourmark, would soon strip affectation of its flaunting plumes;because, fallacious as unstable, is the conduct that is not foundedupon truth!

　　(Footnote. The behaviour of many newly married women has oftendisgusted me. They seem anxious never to let their husbands forgetthe privilege of marriage, and to find no pleasure in his societyunless he is acting the lover. Short, indeed, must be the reign oflove, when the flame is thus constantly blown up, without itsreceiving any solid fuel.)

　　Would ye, O my sisters, really possess modesty, ye must rememberthat the possession of virtue, of any denomination, is incompatiblewith ignorance and vanity! ye must acquire that soberness of mind,which the exercise of duties, and the pursuit of knowledge, aloneinspire, or ye will still remain in a doubtful dependent situation,and only be loved whilst ye are fair! the downcast eye, the rosyblush, the retiring grace, are all proper in their season; butmodesty, being the child of reason, cannot long exist with thesensibility that is not tempered by reflection. Besides, whenlove, even innocent love, is the whole employ of your lives, yourhearts will be too soft to afford modesty that tranquil retreat,where she delights to dwell, in close union with humanity.