J

by Ambrose Bierce

　　Jis a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel -- than whichnothing could be more absurd. Its original form, which has been but slightlymodified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letterbut a character, standing for a Latin verb, jacere, "to throw,"because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.This is the origin of the letter, as expounded by the renowned Dr. JocolpusBumer, of the University of Belgrade, who established his conclusions onthe subject in a work of three quarto volumes and committed suicide on beingreminded that the j in the Roman alphabet had originally no curl.JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of thatwhich can be lost only if not worth keeping.

　　JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household,whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances,the absurdity being attested by his motley costume. The king himself beingattired with dignity, it took the world some centuries to discover thathis own conduct and decrees were sufficiently ridiculous for the amusementnot only of his court but of all mankind. The jester was commonly calleda fool, but the poets and romancers have ever delighted to represent himas a singularly wise and witty person. In the circus of to-day the melancholyghost of the court fool effects the dejection of humbler audiences withthe same jests wherewith in life he gloomed the marble hall, panged thepatrician sense of humor and tapped the tank of royal tears.

　　The widow-queen of Portugal

　　Had an audacious jester

　　Who entered the confessional

　　Disguised, and there confessed her.

　　"Father," she said, "thine ear bend down --

　　My sins are more than scarlet:

　　I love my fool -- blaspheming clown,

　　And common, base-born varlet."

　　"Daughter," the mimic priest replied,

　　"That sin, indeed, is awful:

　　The church's pardon is denied

　　To love that is unlawful.

　　"But since thy stubborn heart will be

　　For him forever pleading,

　　Thou'dst better make him, by decree,

　　A man of birth and breeding."

　　She made the fool a duke, in hope

　　With Heaven's taboo to palter;

　　Then told a priest, who told the Pope,

　　Who damned her from the altar!

　　Barel Dort

　　JEWS-HARP, n. An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fastwith the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.

　　JOSS-STICKS, n. Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagantomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

　　JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated conditionthe State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes andpersonal service.