Part Five: Chapter 18

by Leo Tolstoy

　　Levin could not look calmly at his brother; he could not himselfbe natural and calm in his presence. When he went in to the sickman, his eyes and his attention were unconsciously dimmed, and hedid not see and did not distinguish the details of his brother'sposition. He smelt the awful odor, saw the dirt, disorder, andmiserable condition, and heard the groans, and felt that nothingcould be done to help. It never entered his head to analyze thedetails of the sick man's situation, to consider how that bodywas lying under the quilt, how those emaciated legs and thighsand spine were lying huddled up, and whether they could not bemade more comfortable, whether anything could not be done to makethings, if not better, at least less bad. It made his blood runcold when he began to think of all these details. He wasabsolutely convinced that nothing could be done to prolong hisbrother's life or to relieve his suffering. But a sense of hisregarding all aid as out of the question was felt by the sickman, and exasperated him. And this made it still more painfulfor Levin. To be in the sick-room was agony to him, not to bethere still worse. And he was continually, on various pretexts,going out of the room, and coming in again, because he was unableto remain alone.

　　But Kitty thought, and felt, and acted quite differently. Onseeing the sick man, she pitied him. And pity in her womanlyheart did not arouse at all that feeling of horror and loathingthat it aroused in her husband, but a desire to act, to find outall the details of his state, and to remedy them. And since shehad not the slightest doubt that it was her duty to help him, shehad no doubt either that it was possible, and immediately set towork. The very details, the mere thought of which reduced herhusband to terror, immediately engaged her attention. She sentfor the doctor, sent to the chemist's, set the maid who had comewith her and Marya Nikolaevna to sweep and dust and scrub; sheherself washed up something, washed out something else, laidsomething under the quilt. Something was by her directionsbrought into the sick-room, something else was carried out. Sheherself went several times to her room, regardless of the men shemet in the corridor, got out and brought in sheets, pillow cases,towels, and shirts.

　　The waiter who was busy with a party of engineers dining in thedining hall, came several times with an irate countenance inanswer to her summons, and could not avoid carrying out herorders, as she gave them with such gracious insistence that therewas no evading her. Levin did not approve of all this; he didnot believe it would be of any good to the patient. Above all,he feared the patient would be angry at it. But the sick man,though he seemed and was indifferent about it, was not angry, butonly abashed, and on the whole as it were interested in what shewas doing with him. Coming back from the doctor to whom Kittyhad sent him, Levin, on opening the door, came upon the sick manat the instant when, by Kitty's directions, they were changinghis linen. The long white ridge of his spine, with the huge,prominent shoulder blades and jutting ribs and vertebrae, wasbare, and Marya Nikolaevna and the waiter were struggling withthe sleeve of the night shirt, and could not get the long, limparm into it. Kitty, hurriedly closing the door after Levin, wasnot looking that way; but the sick man groaned, and she movedrapidly towards him.

　　"Make haste," she said.

　　"Oh, don't you come," said the sick man angrily. "I'll do it mymyself...."

　　"What say?" queried Marya Nikolaevna. But Kitty heard and saw hewas ashamed and uncomfortable at being naked before her.

　　"I'm not looking, I'm not looking!" she said, putting the arm in."Marya Nikolaevna, you come this side, you do it," she added.

　　"Please go for me, there's a little bottle in my small bag," shesaid, turning to her husband, "you know, in the side pocket;bring it, please, and meanwhile they'll finish clearing up here."

　　Returning with the bottle, Levin found the sick man settledcomfortably and everything about him completely changed. Theheavy smell was replaced by the smell of aromatic vinegar, whichKitty with pouting lips and puffed-out, rosy cheeks was squirtingthrough a little pipe. There was no dust visible anywhere, a rugwas laid by the bedside. On the table stood medicine bottles anddecanters tidily arranged, and the linen needed was folded upthere, and Kitty's broderie anglaise. On the other table by thepatient's bed there were candles and drink and powders. The sickman himself, washed and combed, lay in clean sheets on highraised pillows, in a clean night-shirt with a white collar abouthis astoundingly thin neck, and with a new expression of hopelooked fixedly at Kitty.

　　The doctor brought by Levin, and found by him at the club, wasnot the one who had been attending Nikolay Levin, as the patientwas dissatisfied with him. The new doctor took up a stethoscopeand sounded the patient, shook his head, prescribed medicine, andwith extreme minuteness explained first how to take the medicineand then what diet was to be kept to. He advised eggs, raw orhardly cooked, and seltzer water, with warm milk at a certaintemperature. When the doctor had gone away the sick man saidsomething to his brother, of which Levin could distinguish onlythe last words: "Your Katya." By the expression with which hegazed at her, Levin saw that he was praising her. He calledindeed to Katya, as he called her.

　　"I'm much better already," he said. "Why, with you I should havegot well long ago. How nice it is!" he took her hand and drew ittowards his lips, but as though afraid she would dislike it hechanged his mind, let it go, and only stroked it. Kitty took hishand in both hers and pressed it.

　　"Now turn me over on the left side and go to bed," he said.

　　No one could make out what he said but Kitty; she aloneunderstood. She understood because she was all the whilementally keeping watch on what he needed.

　　"On the other side," she said to her husband, "he always sleepson that side. Turn him over, it's so disagreeable calling theservants. I'm not strong enough. Can you?" she said to MaryaNikolaevna.

　　"I'm afraid not," answered Marya Nikolaevna.

　　Terrible as it was to Levin to put his arms round that terriblebody, to take hold of that under the quilt, of which he preferredto know nothing, under his wife's influence he made his resoluteface that she knew so well, and putting his arms into the bedtook hold of the body, but in spite of his own strength he wasstruck by the strange heaviness of those powerless limbs. Whilehe was turning him over, conscious of the huge emaciated armabout his neck, Kitty swiftly and noiselessly turned the pillow,beat it up and settled in it the sick man's head, smoothing backhis hair, which was sticking again to his moist brow.

　　The sick man kept his brother's hand in his own. Levin felt thathe meant to do something with his hand and was pulling itsomewhere. Levin yielded with a sinking heart: yes, he drew itto his mouth and kissed it. Levin, shaking with sobs and unableto articulate a word, went out of the room.