Part Five: Chapter 19

by Leo Tolstoy

　　"Thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hastrevealed them unto babes." So Levin thought about his wife as hetalked to her that evening.

　　Levin thought of the text, not because he considered himself"wise and prudent." He did not so consider himself, but he couldnot help knowing that he had more intellect than his wife andAgafea Mihalovna, and he could not help knowing that when hethought of death, he thought with all the force of his intellect.He knew too that the brains of many great men, whose thoughts hehad read, had brooded over death and yet knew not a hundredthpart of what his wife and Agafea Mihalovna knew about it.Different as those two women were, Agafea Mihalovna and Katya, ashis brother Nikolay had called her, and as Levin particularlyliked to call her now, they were quite alike in this. Both knew,without a shade of doubt, what sort of thing life was and whatwas death, and though neither of them could have answered, andwould even not have understood the questions that presentedthemselves to Levin, both had no doubt of the significance ofthis event, and were precisely alike in their way of looking atit, which they shared with millions of people. The proof thatthey knew for a certainty the nature of death lay in the factthat they knew without a second of hesitation how to deal withthe dying, and were not frightened of them. Levin and other menlike him, though they could have said a great deal about death,obviously did not know this since they were afraid of death, andwere absolutely at a loss what to do when people were dying. IfLevin had been alone now with his brother Nikolay, he would havelooked at him with terror, and with still greater terror waited,and would not have known what else to do.

　　More than that, he did not know what to say, how to look, how tomove. To talk of outside things seemed to him shocking,impossible, to talk of death and depressing subjects--alsoimpossible. To be silent, also impossible. "If I look at him hewill think I am studying him, I am afraid; if I don't look athim, he'll think I'm thinking of other things. If I walk ontiptoe, he will be vexed; to tread firmly, I'm ashamed." Kittyevidently did not think of herself, and had no time to thinkabout herself: she was thinking about him because she knewsomething, and all went well. She told him about herself evenand about her wedding, and smiled and sympathized with him andpetted him, and talked of cases of recovery and all went well; sothen she must know. The proof that her behavior and AgafeaMihalovna's was not instinctive, animal, irrational, was thatapart from the physical treatment, the relief of suffering, bothAgafea Mihalovna and Kitty required for the dying man somethingelse more important than the physical treatment, and somethingwhich had nothing in common with physical conditions. AgafeaMihalovna, speaking of the man just dead, had said: "Well, thankGod, he took the sacrament and received absolution; God granteach one of us such a death." Katya in just the same way,besides all her care about linen, bedsores, drink, found time thevery first day to persuade the sick man of the necessity oftaking the sacrament and receiving absolution.

　　On getting back from the sick-room to their own two rooms for thenight, Levin sat with hanging head not knowing what to do. Notto speak of supper, of preparing for bed, of considering whatthey were going to do, he could not even talk to his wife; he wasashamed to. Kitty, on the contrary, was more active than usual.She was even livelier than usual. She ordered supper to bebrought, herself unpacked their things, and herself helped tomake the beds, and did not even forget to sprinkle them withPersian powder. She showed that alertness, that swiftness ofreflection comes out in men before a battle, in conflict, in thedangerous and decisive moments of life--those moments when a manshows once and for all his value, and that all his past has notbeen wasted but has been a preparation for these moments.

　　Everything went rapidly in her hands, and before it was twelveo'clock all their things were arranged cleanly and tidily in herrooms, in such a way that the hotel rooms seemed like home: thebeds were made, brushes, combs, looking-glasses were put out,table napkins were spread.

　　Levin felt that it was unpardonable to eat, to sleep, to talkeven now, and it seemed to him that every movement he made wasunseemly. She arranged the brushes, but she did it all so thatthere was nothing shocking in it.

　　They could neither of them eat, however, and for a long whilethey could not sleep, and did not even go to bed.

　　"I am very glad I persuaded him to receive extreme unctiontomorrow," she said, sitting in her dressing jacket before herfolding looking glass, combing her soft, fragrant hair with afine comb. "I have never seen it, but I know, mamma has told me,there are prayers said for recovery."

　　"Do you suppose he can possibly recover?" said Levin, watching aslender tress at the back of her round little head that wascontinually hidden when she passed the comb through the front.

　　"I asked the doctor; he said he couldn't live more than threedays. But can they be sure? I'm very glad, anyway, that Ipersuaded him," she said, looking askance at her husband throughher hair. "Anything is possible," she added with that peculiar,rather sly expression that was always in her face when she spokeof religion.

　　Since their conversation about religion when they were engagedneither of them had ever started a discussion of the subject, butshe performed all the ceremonies of going to church, saying herprayers, and so on, always with the unvarying conviction thatthis ought to be so. In spite of his assertion to the contrary,she was firmly persuaded that he was as much a Christian as she,and indeed a far better one; and all that he said about it wassimply one of his absurd masculine freaks, just as he would sayabout her broderie anglaise that good people patch holes, butthat she cut them on purpose, and so on.

　　"Yes, you see this woman, Marya Nikolaevna, did not know how tomanage all this," said Levin. "And...I must own I'm very,very glad you came. You are such purity that...." He took herhand and did not kiss it (to kiss her hand in such closeness todeath seemed to him improper); he merely squeezed it with apenitent air, looking at her brightening eyes.

　　"It would have been miserable for you to be alone," she said, andlifting her hands which hid her cheeks flushing with pleasure,twisted her coil of hair on the nape of her neck and pinned itthere. "No," she went on, "she did not know how.... Luckily, Ilearned a lot at Soden."

　　"Surely there are not people there so ill?"

　　"Worse."

　　"What's so awful to me is that I can't see him as he was when hewas young. You would not believe how charming he was as a youth,but I did not understand him then."

　　"I can quite, quite believe it. How I feel that we might havebeen friends!" she said; and, distressed at what she had said,she looked round at her husband, and tears came into her eyes.

　　"Yes, might have been," he said mournfully. "He's just one ofthose people of whom they say they're not for this world."

　　"But we have many days before us; we must go to bed," said Kitty,glancing at her tiny watch.