Part Four: Chapter 12

by Leo Tolstoy

　　Connected with the conversation that had sprung up on the rightsof women there were certain questions as to the inequality ofrights in marriage improper to discuss before the ladies.Pestsov had several times during dinner touched upon thesequestions, but Sergey Ivanovitch and Stepan Arkadyevitchcarefully drew him off them.

　　When they rose from the table and the ladies had gone out,Pestsov did not follow them, but addressing AlexeyAlexandrovitch, began to expound the chief ground of inequality.The inequality in marriage, in his opinion, lay in the fact thatthe infidelity of the wife and infidelity of the husband arepunished unequally, both by the law and by public opinion.Stepan Arkadyevitch went hurriedly up to Alexey Alexandrovitchand offered him a cigar.

　　"No, I don't smoke," Alexey Alexandrovitch answered calmly, andas though purposely wishing to show that he was not afraid of thesubject, he turned to Pestsov with a chilly smile.

　　"I imagine that such a view has a foundation in the very natureof things," he said, and would have gone on to the drawing room.But at this point Turovtsin broke suddenly and unexpectedly intothe conversation, addressing Alexey Alexandrovitch.

　　"You heard, perhaps, about Pryatchnikov?" said Turovtsin, warmedup by the champagne he had drunk, and long waiting for anopportunity to break the silence that had weighed on him. "VasyaPryatchnikov," he said, with a good-natured smile on his damp,red lips, addressing himself principally to the most importantguest, Alexey Alexandrovitch, "they told me today he fought aduel with Kvitsky at Tver, and has killed him."

　　Just as it always seems that one bruises oneself on a sore place,so Stepan Arkadyevitch felt now that the conversation would byill luck fall every moment on Alexey Alexandrovitch's sore spot.He would again have got his brother-in-law away, but AlexeyAlexandrovitch himself inquired, with curiosity:

　　"What did Pryatchnikov fight about?"

　　"His wife. Acted like a man, he did! Called him out and shothim!"

　　"Ah!" said Alexey Alexandrovitch indifferently, and lifting hiseyebrows, he went into the drawing room.

　　"How glad I am you have come," Dolly said with a frightenedsmile, meeting him in the outer drawing room. "I must talk toyou. Let's sit here."

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch, with the same expression of indifference,given him by his lifted eyebrows, sat down beside DaryaAlexandrovna, and smiled affectedly.

　　"It's fortunate," said he, "especially as I was meaning to askyou to excuse me, and to be taking leave. I have to starttomorrow."

　　Darya Alexandrovna was firmly convinced of Anna's innocence, andshe felt herself growing pale and her lips quivering with angerat this frigid, unfeeling man, who was so calmly intending toruin her innocent friend.

　　"Alexey Alexandrovitch," she said, with desperate resolutionlooking him in the face, "I asked you about Anna, you made me noanswer. How is she?"

　　"She is, I believe, quite well, Darya Alexandrovna," repliedAlexey Alexandrovitch, not looking at her.

　　"Alexey Alexandrovitch, forgive me, I have no right...but Ilove Anna as a sister, and esteem her; I beg, I beseech you totell me what is wrong between you? what fault do you find withher?"

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch frowned, and almost closing his eyes,dropped his head.

　　"I presume that your husband has told you the grounds on which Iconsider it necessary to change my attitude to Anna Arkadyevna?"he said, not looking her in the face, but eyeing with displeasureShtcherbatsky, who was walking across the drawing room.

　　"I don't believe it, I don't believe it, I can't believe it!"Dolly said, clasping her bony hands before her with a vigorousgesture. She rose quickly, and laid her hand on AlexeyAlexandrovitch's sleeve. "We shall be disturbed here. Come thisway, please."

　　Dolly's agitation had an effect on Alexey Alexandrovitch. He gotup and submissively followed her to the schoolroom. They satdown to a table covered with an oilcloth cut in slits bypenknives.

　　"I don't, I don't believe it!" Dolly said, trying to catch hisglance that avoided her.

　　"One cannot disbelieve facts, Darya Alexandrovna," said he, withan emphasis on the word "facts."

　　"But what has she done?" said Darya Alexandrovna. "Whatprecisely has she done?"

　　"She has forsaken her duty, and deceived her husband. That'swhat she has done," said he.

　　"No, no, it can't be! No, for God's sake, you are mistaken,"said Dolly, putting her hands to her temples and closing hereyes.

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch smiled coldly, with his lips alone, meaningto signify to her and himself the firmness of his conviction; butthis warm defense, though it could not shake him, reopened hiswound. He began to speak with greater heat.

　　"It is extremely difficult to be mistaken when a wife herselfinforms her husband of the fact--informs him that eight years ofher life, and a son, all that's a mistake, and that she wants tobegin life again," he said angrily, with a snort.

　　"Anna and sin--I cannot connect them, I cannot believe it!"

　　"Darya Alexandrovna," he said, now looking straight into Dolly'skindly, troubled face, and feeling that his tongue was beingloosened in spite of himself, "I would give a great deal fordoubt to be still possible. When I doubted, I was miserable, butit was better than now. When I doubted, I had hope; but nowthere is no hope, and still I doubt of everything. I am in such

　　doubt of everything that I even hate my son, and sometimes do notbelieve he is my son. I am very unhappy."

　　He had no need to say that. Darya Alexandrovna had seen that assoon as he glanced into her face; and she felt sorry for him, andher faith in the innocence of her friend began to totter.

　　"Oh, this is awful, awful! But can it be true that you areresolved on a divorce?"

　　"I am resolved on extreme measures. There is nothing else for meto do."

　　"Nothing else to do, nothing else to do..." she replied, withtears in her eyes. "Oh no, don't say nothing else to do!" shesaid.

　　"What is horrible in a trouble of this kind is that one cannot,as in any other--in loss, in death--bear one's trouble in peace,but that one must act," said he, as though guessing her thought."One must get out of the humiliating position in which one isplaced; one can't live a trois."

　　"I understand, I quite understand that," said Dolly, and her headsank. She was silent for a little, thinking of herself, of herown grief in her family, and all at once, with an impulsivemovement, she raised her head and clasped her hands with animploring gesture. "But wait a little! You are a Christian.Think of her! What will become of her, if you cast her off?"

　　"I have thought, Darya Alexandrovna, I have thought a greatdeal," said Alexey Alexandrovitch. His face turned red inpatches, and his dim eyes looked straight before him. DaryaAlexandrovna at that moment pitied him with all her heart. "Thatwas what I did indeed when she herself made known to me myhumiliation; I left everything as of old. I gave her a chance toreform, I tried to save her. And with what result? She wouldnot regard the slightest request--that she should observedecorum," he said, getting heated. "One may save anyone who doesnot want to be ruined; but if the whole nature is so corrupt, sodepraved, that ruin itself seems to be her salvation, what's tobe done?"

　　"Anything, only not divorce!" answered Darya Alexandrovna

　　"But what is anything?"

　　"No, it is awful! She will be no one's wife, she will be lost!"

　　"What can I do?" said Alexey Alexandrovitch, raising hisshoulders and his eyebrows. The recollection of his wife's lastact had so incensed him that he had become frigid, as at thebeginning of the conversation. "I am very grateful for yoursympathy, but I must be going," he said, getting up.

　　"No, wait a minute. You must not ruin her. Wait a little; Iwill tell you about myself. I was married, and my husbanddeceived me; in anger and jealousy, I would have thrown upeverything, I would myself.... But I came to myself again; andwho did it? Anna saved me. And here I am living on. Thechildren are growing up, my husband has come back to his family,and feels his fault, is growing purer, better, and I live on....I have forgiven it, and you ought to forgive!"

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch heard her, but her words had no effect onhim now. All the hatred of that day when he had resolved on adivorce had sprung up again in his soul. He shook himself, andsaid in a shrill, loud voice:

　　"Forgive I cannot, and do not wish to, and I regard it as wrong.I have done everything for this woman, and she has trodden it allin the mud to which she is akin. I am not a spiteful man, I havenever hated anyone, but I hate her with my whole soul, and Icannot even forgive her, because I hate her too much for all thewrong she has done me!" he said, with tones of hatred in hisvoice.

　　"Love those that hate you...." Darya Alexandrovna whisperedtimorously.

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch smiled contemptuously. That he knew longago, but it could not be applied to his case.

　　"Love those that hate you, but to love those one hates isimpossible. Forgive me for having troubled you. Everyone hasenough to bear in his own grief!" And regaining hisself-possession, Alexey Alexandrovitch quietly took leave andwent away.