Part Four: Chapter 14

by Leo Tolstoy

　　When Kitty had gone and Levin was left alone, he felt suchuneasiness without her and such an impatient longing to get asquickly, as quickly as possible, to tomorrow morning, when hewould see her again and be plighted to her forever, that he feltafraid, as though of death, of those fourteen hours that he hadto get through without her. It was essential for him to be withsomeone to talk to, so as not to be left alone, to kill time.Stepan Arkadyevitch would have been the companion most congenialto him, but he was going out, he said, to a soiree, in reality tothe ballet. Levin only had time to tell him he was happy, andthat he loved him, and would never, never forget what he had donefor him. The eyes and the smile of Stepan Arkadyevitch showedLevin that he comprehended that feeling fittingly.

　　"Oh, so it's not time to die yet?" said Stepan Arkadyevitch,pressing Levin's hand with emotion.

　　"N-n-no!" said Levin.

　　Darya Alexandrovna too, as she said good-bye to him, gave him asort of congratulation, saying, "How glad I am you have metKitty again! One must value old friends." Levin did not likethese words of Darya Alexandrovna's. She could not understandhow lofty and beyond her it all was, and she ought not to havedared to allude to it. Levin said good-bye to them, but, not tobe left alone, he attached himself to his brother.

　　"Where are you going?"

　　"I'm going to a meeting."

　　"Well, I'll come with you. May I?"

　　"What for? Yes, come along," said Sergey Ivanovitch, smiling."What is the matter with you today?"

　　"With me? Happiness is the matter with me!" said Levin, lettingdown the window of the carriage they were driving in. "You don'tmind?--it's so stifling. It's happiness is the matter with me!Why is it you have never married?"

　　Sergey Ivanovitch smiled.

　　"I am very glad, she seems a nice gi..." Sergey Ivanovitch wasbeginning.

　　"Don't say it! don't say it!" shouted Levin, clutching at thecollar of his fur coat with both hands, and muffling him up init. "She's a nice girl" were such simple, humble words, so outof harmony with his feeling.

　　Sergey Ivanovitch laughed outright a merry laugh, which was rarewith him. "Well, anyway, I may say that I'm very glad of it."

　　"That you may do tomorrow, tomorrow and nothing more! Nothing,nothing, silence," said Levin, and muffing him once more in hisfur coat, he added: "I do like you so! Well, is it possible forme to be present at the meeting?"

　　"Of course it is."

　　"What is your discussion about today?" asked Levin, never ceasingsmiling.

　　They arrived at the meeting. Levin heard the secretaryhesitatingly read the minutes which he obviously did not himselfunderstand; but Levin saw from this secretary's face what a good,nice, kind-hearted person he was. This was evident from hisconfusion and embarrassment in reading the minutes. Then thediscussion began. They were disputing about the misappropriationof certain sums and the laying of certain pipes, and SergeyIvanovitch was very cutting to two members, and said something atgreat length with an air of triumph; and another member,scribbling something on a bit of paper, began timidly at first,but afterwards answered him very viciously and delightfully. Andthen Sviazhsky (he was there too) said something too, veryhandsomely and nobly. Levin listened to them, and saw clearlythat these missing sums and these pipes were not anything real,and that they were not at all angry, but were all the nicest,kindest people, and everything was as happy and charming aspossible among them. They did no harm to anyone, and were allenjoying it. What struck Levin was that he could see throughthem all today, and from little, almost imperceptible signs knewthe soul of each, and saw distinctly that they were all good atheart. And Levin himself in particular they were all extremelyfond of that day. That was evident from the way they spoke tohim, from the friendly, affectionate way even those he did notknow looked at him.

　　"Well, did you like it?" Sergey Ivanovitch asked him.

　　"Very much. I never supposed it was so interesting! Capital!Splendid!"

　　Sviazhsky went up to Levin and invited him to come round to teawith him. Levin was utterly at a loss to comprehend or recallwhat it was he had disliked in Sviazhsky, what he had failed tofind in him. He was a clever and wonderfully good-hearted man.

　　"Most delighted," he said, and asked after his wife andsister-in-law. And from a queer association of ideas, because inhis imagination the idea of Sviazhsky's sister-in-law wasconnected with marriage, it occurred to him that there was no oneto whom he could more suitably speak of his happiness, and he wasvery glad to go and see them.

　　Sviazhsky questioned him about his improvements on his estate,presupposing, as he always did, that there was no possibility ofdoing anything not done already in Europe, and now this did notin the least annoy Levin. On the contrary, he felt thatSviazhsky was right, that the whole business was of little value,and he saw the wonderful softness and consideration with whichSviazhsky avoided fully expressing his correct view. The ladiesof the Sviazhsky household were particularly delightful. Itseemed to Levin that they knew all about it already andsympathized with him, saying nothing merely from delicacy. Hestayed with them one hour, two, three, talking of all sorts ofsubjects but the one thing that filled his heart, and did notobserve that he was boring them dreadfully, and that it was longpast their bedtime.

　　Sviazhsky went with him into the hall, yawning and wondering atthe strange humor his friend was in. It was past one o'clock.Levin went back to his hotel, and was dismayed at the thoughtthat all alone now with his impatience he had ten hours stillleft to get through. The servant, whose turn it was to be up allnight, lighted his candles, and would have gone away, but Levinstopped him. This servant, Yegor, whom Levin had noticed before,struck him as a very intelligent, excellent, and, above all,good-hearted man.

　　"Well, Yegor, it's hard work not sleeping, isn't it?"

　　"One's got to put up with it! It's part of our work, you see.In a gentleman's house it's easier; but then here one makesmore."

　　It appeared that Yegor had a family, three boys and a daughter, asempstress, whom he wanted to marry to a cashier in a saddler'sshop.

　　Levin, on hearing this, informed Yegor that, in his opinion, inmarriage the great thing was love, and that with love one wouldalways be happy, for happiness rests only on oneself. Yegorlistened attentively, and obviously quite took in Levin's idea,but by way of assent to it he enunciated, greatly to Levin'ssurprise, the observation that when he had lived with goodmasters he had always been satisfied with his masters, and nowwas perfectly satisfied with his employer, though he was aFrenchman.

　　"Wonderfully good-hearted fellow!" thought Levin.

　　"Well, but you yourself, Yegor, when you got married, did youlove your wife?"

　　"Ay! and why not?" responded Yegor.

　　And Levin saw that Yegor too was in an excited state andintending to express all his most heartfelt emotions.

　　"My life, too, has been a wonderful one. From a child up..." hewas beginning with flashing eyes, apparently catching Levin'senthusiasm, just as people catch yawning.

　　But at that moment a ring was heard. Yegor departed, and Levinwas left alone. He had eaten scarcely anything at dinner, hadrefused tea and supper at Sviazhsky's, but he was incapable ofthinking of supper. He had not slept the previous night, but wasincapable of thinking of sleep either. His room was cold, but hewas oppressed by heat. He opened both the movable panes in hiswindow and sat down to the table opposite the open panes. Overthe snow-covered roofs could be seen a decorated cross withchains, and above it the rising triangle of Charles's Wain withthe yellowish light of Capella. He gazed at the cross, then atthe stars, drank in the fresh freezing air that flowed evenlyinto the room, and followed as though in a dream the images andmemories that rose in his imagination. At four o'clock he heardsteps in the passage and peeped out at the door. It was thegambler Myaskin, whom he knew, coming from the club. He walkedgloomily, frowning and coughing. "Poor, unlucky fellow!" thoughtLevin, and tears came into his eyes from love and pity for thisman. He would have talked with him, and tried to comfort him,but remembering that he had nothing but his shirt on, he changedhis mind and sat down again at the open pane to bathe in the coldair and gaze at the exquisite lines of the cross, silent, butfull of meaning for him, and the mounting lurid yellow star. Atseven o'clock there was a noise of people polishing the floors,and bells ringing in some servants' department, and Levin feltthat he was beginning to get frozen. He closed the pane, washed,dressed, and went out into the street.