Part One: Chapter 16

by Leo Tolstoy

　　Vronsky had never had a real home life. His mother had been inher youth a brilliant society woman, who had had during hermarried life, and still more afterwards, many love affairsnotorious in the whole fashionable world. His father he scarcelyremembered, and he had been educated in the Corps of Pages.

　　Leaving the school very young as a brilliant officer, he had atonce got into the circle of wealthy Petersburg army men.Although he did go more or less into Petersburg society, his loveaffairs had always hitherto been outside it.

　　In Moscow he had for the first time felt, after his luxurious andcoarse life at Petersburg, all the charm of intimacy with a sweetand innocent girl of his own rank, who cared for him. It nevereven entered his head that there could be any harm in hisrelations with Kitty. At balls he danced principally with her.He was a constant visitor at their house. He talked to her aspeople commonly do talk in society--all sorts of nonsense, butnonsense to which he could not help attaching a special meaningin her case. Although he said nothing to her that he could nothave said before everybody, he felt that she was becoming moreand more dependent upon him, and the more he felt this, thebetter he liked it, and the tenderer was his feeling for her. Hedid not know that his mode of behavior in relation to Kitty had adefinite character, that it is courting young girls with nointention of marriage, and that such courting is one of the evilactions common among brilliant young men such as he was. Itseemed to him that he was the first who had discovered thispleasure, and he was enjoying his discovery.

　　If he could have heard what her parents were saying that evening,if he could have put himself at the point ov view of the familyand have heard that Kitty would be unhappy if he did not marryher, he would have been greatly astonished, and would not havebelieved it. He could not believe that what gave such great anddelicate pleasure to him, and above all to her, could be wrong.Still less could he have believed that he ought to marry.

　　Marriage had never presented itself to him as a possibility. Henot only disliked family life, but a family, and especially ahusband was, in accordance with the views general in the bachelorworld in which he lived, conceived as something alien, repellant,and, above all, ridiculous.

　　But though Vronsky had not the least suspicion what the parentswere saying, he felt on coming away from the Shtcherbatskys' thatthe secret spiritual bond which existed between him and Kitty hadgrown so much stronger that evening that some step must be taken.But what step could and ought to be taken he could not imagine.

　　"What is so exquisite," he thought, as he returned from theShtcherbatskys', carrying away with him, as he always did, adelicious feeling of purity and freshness, arising partly fromthe fact that he had not been smoking for a whole evening, andwith it a new feeling of tenderness at her love for him--"whatis so exquisite is that not a word has been said by me or by her,but we understand each other so well in this unseen language oflooks and tones, that this evening more clearly than ever shetold me she loves me. And how secretly, simply, and most of all,how trustfully! I feel myself better, purer. I feel that I havea heart, and that there is a great deal of good in me. Thosesweet, loving eyes! When she said: Indeed I do...'

　　"Well, what then? Oh, nothing. It's good for me, and good forher." And he began wondering where to finish the evening.

　　He passed in review of the places he might go to. "Club? a gameof bezique, champagne with Ignatov? No, I'm not going. Chateaudes Fleurs; there I shall find Oblonsky, songs, the cancan. No,I'm sick of it. That's why I like the Shtcherbatskys', that I'mgrowing better. I'll go home." He went straight to his room atDussot's Hotel, ordered supper, and then undressed, and as soonas his head touched the pillow, fell into a sound sleep.