Part Three: Chapter 10

by Leo Tolstoy

　　"Kitty writes to me that there's nothing she longs for so much asquiet and solitude," Dolly said after the silence that hadfollowed.

　　"And how is she--better?" Levin asked in agitation.

　　"Thank God, she's quite well again. I never believed her lungswere affected."

　　"Oh, I'm very glad!" said Levin, and Dolly fancied she sawsomething touching, helpless, in his face as he said this andlooked silently into her face.

　　"Let me ask you, Konstantin Dmitrievitch," said DaryaAlexandrovna, smiling her kindly and rather mocking smile, "whyis it you are angry with Kitty?"

　　"I? I'm not angry with her," said Levin.

　　"Yes, you are angry. Why was it you did not come to see us northem when you were in Moscow?"

　　"Darya Alexandrovna," he said, blushing up to the roots of hishair, "I wonder really that with your kind heart you don't feelthis. How it is you feel no pity for me, if nothing else, whenyou know..."

　　"What do I know?"

　　"You know I made an offer and that I was refused," said Levin,and all the tenderness he had been feeling for Kitty a minutebefore was replaced by a feeling of anger for the slight he hadsuffered.

　　"What makes you suppose I know?"

　　"Because everybody knows it..."

　　"That's just where you are mistaken; I did not know it, thoughI had guessed it was so."

　　"Well, now you know it."

　　"All I knew was that something had happened that made herdreadfully miserable, and that she begged me never to speak ofit. And if she would not tell me, she would certainly not speakof it to anyone else. But what did pass between you? Tell me."

　　"I have told you."

　　"When was it?"

　　"When I was at their house the last time."

　　"Do you know that," said Darya Alexandrovna, "I am awfully,awfully sorry for her. You suffer only from pride...."

　　"Perhaps so," said Levin, "but..."

　　She interrupted him.

　　"But she, poor girl...I am awfully, awfully sorry for her. Now Isee it all."

　　"Well, Darya Alexandrovna, you must excuse me," he said, gettingup. "Good-bye, Darya Alexandrovna, till we meet again."

　　"No, wait a minute," she said, clutching him by the sleeve."Wait a minute, sit down."

　　"Please, please, don't let us talk of this," he said, sittingdown, and at the same time feeling rise up and stir within hisheart a hope he had believed to be buried.

　　"If I did not like you," she said, and tears came into her eyes;"if I did not know you, as I do know you . . ."

　　The feeling that had seemed dead revived more and more, rose upand took possession of Levin's heart.

　　"Yes, I understand it all now," said Darya Alexandrovna. "Youcan't understand it; for you men, who are free and make your ownchoice, it's always clear whom you love. But a girl's in aposition of suspense, with all a woman's or maiden's modesty, agirl who sees you men from afar, who takes everything on trust,--a girl may have, and often has, such a feeling that she cannottell what to say."

　　"Yes, if the heart does not speak..."

　　"No, the heart does speak; but just consider: you men have viewsabout a girl, you come to the house, you make friends, youcriticize, you wait to see if you have found what you love, andthen, when you are sure you love her, you make an offer...."

　　"Well, that's not quite it."

　　"Anyway you make an offer, when your love is ripe or when thebalance has completely turned between the two you are choosingfrom. But a girl is not asked. She is expected to make herchoice, and yet she cannot choose, she can only answer 'yes' or'no.'"

　　"Yes, to choose between me and Vronsky," thought Levin, and thedead thing that had come to life within him died again, and onlyweighed on his heart and set it aching.

　　"Darya Alexandrovna," he said, "that's how one chooses a newdress or some purchase or other, not love. The choice has beenmade, and so much the better.... And there can be no repeatingit."

　　"Ah, pride, pride!" said Darya Alexandrovna, as though despisinghim for the baseness of this feeling in comparison with thatother feeling which only women know. "At the time when you madeKitty an offer she was just in a position in which she could notanswer. She was in doubt. Doubt between you and Vronsky. Himshe was seeing every day, and you she had not seen for a longwhile. Supposing she had been older...I, for instance, in herplace could have felt no doubt. I always disliked him, and so ithas turned out."

　　Levin recalled Kitty's answer. She had said: "No, that cannotbe..."

　　"Darya Alexandrovna," he said dryly, "I appreciate yourconfidence in me; I believe you are making a mistake. Butwhether I am right or wrong, that pride you so despise makes anythought of Katerina Alexandrovna out of the question for me,--you understand, utterly out of the question."

　　"I will only say one thing more: you know that I am speaking ofmy sister, whom I love as I love my own children. I don't sayshe cared for you, all I meant to say is that her refusal at thatmoment proves nothing."

　　"I don't know!" said Levin, jumping up. "If you only knew howyou are hurting me. It's just as if a child of yours were dead,and they were to say to you: He would have been like this andlike that, and he might have lived, and how happy you would havebeen in him. But he's dead, dead, dead!..."

　　"How absurd you are!" said Darya Alexandrovna, looking withmournful tenderness at Levin's excitement. "Yes, I see it allmore and more clearly," she went on musingly. "So you won't cometo see us, then, when Kitty's here?"

　　"No, I shan't come. Of course I won't avoid meeting KaterinaAlexandrovna, but as far as I can, I will try to save her theannoyance of my presence."

　　"You are very, very absurd," repeated Darya Alexandrovna, lookingwith tenderness into his face. "Very well then, let it be asthough we had not spoken of this. What have you come for,Tanya?" she said in French to the little girl who had come in.

　　"Where's my spade, mamma?"

　　"I speak French, and you must too."

　　The little girl tried to say it in French, but could not rememberthe French for spade; the mother prompted her, and then told herin French where to look for the spade. And this made adisagreeable impression on Levin.

　　Everything in Darya Alexandrovna's house and children struck himnow as by no means so charming as a little while before. "Andwhat does she talk French with the children for?" he thought;"how unnatural and false it is! And the children feel it so:Learning French and unlearning sincerity," he thought to himself,unaware that Darya Alexandrovna had thought all that over twentytimes already, and yet, even at the cost of some loss ofsincerity, believed it necessary to teach her children French inthat way.

　　"But why are you going? Do stay a little."

　　Levin stayed to tea; but his good-humor had vanished, and he feltill at ease.

　　After tea he went out into the hall to order his horses to be putin, and, when he came back, he found Darya Alexandrovna greatlydisturbed, with a troubled face, and tears in her eyes. WhileLevin had been outside, an incident had occurred which hadutterly shattered all the happiness she had been feeling thatday, and her pride in her children. Grisha and Tanya had beenfighting over a ball. Darya Alexandrovna, hearing a scream inthe nursery, ran in and saw a terrible sight. Tanya was pullingGrisha's hair, while he, with a face hideous with rage, wasbeating her with his fists wherever he could get at her.Something snapped in Darya Alexandrovna's heart when she sawthis. It was as if darkness had swooped down upon her life; shefelt that these children of hers, that she was so proud of, werenot merely most ordinary, but positively bad, ill-bred children,with coarse, brutal propensities--wicked children.

　　She could not talk or think of anything else, and she could notspeak to Levin of her misery.

　　Levin saw she was unhappy and tried to comfort her, saying thatit showed nothing bad, that all children fight; but, even as hesaid it, he was thinking in his heart: "No, I won't beartificial and talk French with my children; but my childrenwon't be like that. All one has to do is not spoil children, notto distort their nature, and they'll be delightful. No, mychildren won't be like that."

　　He said good-bye and drove away, and she did not try to keep him.