Part Three: Chapter 13

by Leo Tolstoy

　　None but those who were most intimate with Alexey Alexandrovitchknew that, while on the surface the coldest and most reasonableof men, he had one weakness quite opposed to the general trend ofhis character. Alexey Alexandrovitch could not hear or see achild or woman crying without being moved. The sight of tearsthrew him into a state of nervous agitation, and he utterly lostall power of reflection. The chief secretary of his departmentand his private secretary were aware of this, and used to warnwomen who came with petitions on no account to give way to tears,if they did not want to ruin their chances. "He will get angry,and will not listen to you," they used to say. And as a fact, insuch cases the emotional disturbance set up in AlexeyAlexandrovitch by the sight of tears found expression in hastyanger. "I can do nothing. Kindly leave the room!" he wouldcommonly cry in such cases.

　　When returning from the races Anna had informed him of herrelations with Vronsky, and immediately afterwards had burst intotears, hiding her face in her hands, Alexey Alexandrovitch, forall the fury aroused in him against her, was aware at the sametime of a rush of that emotional disturbance always produced inhim by tears. Conscious of it, and conscious that any expressionof his feelings at that minute would be out of keeping with theposition, he tried to suppress every manifestation of life inhimself, and so neither stirred nor looked at her. This was whathad caused that strange expression of deathlike rigidity in hisface which had so impressed Anna.

　　When they reached the house he helped her to get out of thecarriage, and making an effort to master himself, took leave ofher with his usual urbanity, and uttered that phrase that boundhim to nothing; he said that tomorrow he would let her know hisdecision.

　　His wife's words, confirming his worst suspicions, had sent acruel pang to the heart of Alexey Alexandrovitch. That pang wasintensified by the strange feeling of physical pity for her setup by her tears. But when he was all alone in the carriageAlexey Alexandrovitch, to his surprise and delight, felt completerelief both from this pity and from the doubts and agonies ofjealousy.

　　He experienced the sensations of a man who has had a tooth outafter suffering long from toothache. After a fearful agony and asense of something huge, bigger than the head itself, being tornout of his jaw, the sufferer, hardly able to believe in his owngood luck, feels all at once that what has so long poisoned hisexistence and enchained his attention, exists no longer, and thathe can live and think again, and take interest in other thingsbesides his tooth. This feeling Alexey Alexandrovitch wasexperiencing. The agony had been strange and terrible, but nowit was over; he felt that he could live again and think ofsomething other than his wife.

　　"No honor, no heart, no religion; a corrupt woman. I alwaysknew it and always saw it, though I tried to deceive myself tospare her," he said to himself. And it actually seemed to himthat he always had seen it: he recalled incidents of their pastlife, in which he had never seen anything wrong before--nowthese incidents proved clearly that she had always been a corruptwoman. "I made a mistake in linking my life to hers; but therewas nothing wrong in my mistake, and so I cannot be unhappy.It's not I that am to blame," he told himself, "but she. But Ihave nothing to do with her. She does not exist for me..."

　　Everything relating to her and her son, towards whom hissentiments were as much changed as towards her, ceased tointerest him. The only thing that interested him now was thequestion of in what way he could best, with most propriety andcomfort for himself, and thus with most justice, extricatehimself from the mud with which she had spattered him in herfall, and then proceed along his path of active, honorable, anduseful existence.

　　"I cannot be made unhappy by the fact that a contemptible womanhas committed a crime. I have only to find the best way out ofthe difficult position in which she has placed me. And I shallfind it," he said to himself, frowning more and more. "I'm notthe first nor the last." And to say nothing of historicalinstances dating from the "Fair Helen" of Menelaus, recentlyrevived in the memory of all, a whole list of contemporaryexamples of husbands with unfaithful wives in the highest societyrose before Alexey Alexandrovitch's imagination. "Daryalov,Poltavsky, Prince Karibanov, Count Paskudin, Dram.... Yes, evenDram, such an honest, capable fellow...Semyonov, Tchagin,Sigonin," Alexey Alexandrovitch remembered. "Admitting that acertain quite irrational ridicule falls to the lot of these men,yet I never saw anything but a misfortune in it, and always feltsympathy for it," Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself, thoughindeed this was not the fact, and he had never felt sympathy formisfortunes of that kind, but the more frequently he had heard ofinstances of unfaithful wives betraying their husbands, the morehighly he had thought of himself. "It is a misfortune which maybefall anyone. And this misfortune has befallen me. The onlything to be done is to make the best of the position."

　　And he began passing in review the methods of proceeding of menwho had been in the same position that he was in.

　　"Daryalov fought a duel...."

　　The duel had particularly fascinated the thoughts of AlexeyAlexandrovitch in his youth, just because he was physically acoward, and was himself well aware of the fact. AlexeyAlexandrovitch could not without horror contemplate the idea of apistol aimed at himself, and never made use of any weapon in hislife. This horror had in his youth set him pondering on dueling,and picturing himself in a position in which he would have toexpose his life to danger. Having attained success and anestablished position in the world, he had long ago forgotten thisfeeling; but the habitual bent of feeling reasserted itself, anddread of his own cowardice proved even now so strong that AlexeyAlexandrovitch spent a long while thinking over the question ofdueling in all its aspects, and hugging the idea of a duel,though he was fully aware beforehand that he would never underany circumstances fight one.

　　"There's no doubt our society is still so barbarous (it's not thesame in England) that very many"--and among these were thosewhose opinion Alexey Alexandrovitch particularly valued--"lookfavorably on the duel; but what result is attained by it? SupposeI call him out," Alexey Alexandrovitch went on to himself, andvividly picturing the night he would spend after the challenge,and the pistol aimed at him, he shuddered, and knew that he neverwould do it--"suppose I call him out. Suppose I am taught," hewent on musing, "to shoot; I press the trigger," he said tohimself, closing his eyes, "and it turns out I have killed him,"Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself, and he shook his head asthough to dispel such silly ideas. "What sense is there inmurdering a man in order to define one's relation to a guiltywife and son? I should still just as much have to decide what Iought to do with her. But what is more probable and what woulddoubtless occur--I should be killed or wounded. I, theinnocent person, should be the victim--killed or wounded. It'seven more senseless. But apart from that, a challenge to fightwould be an act hardly honest on my side. Don't I know perfectlywell that my friends would never allow me to fight a duel--wouldnever allow the life of a statesman, needed by Russia, to beexposed to danger? Knowing perfectly well beforehand that thematter would never come to real danger, it would amount to mysimply trying to gain a certain sham reputation by such achallenge. That would be dishonest, that would be false, thatwould be deceiving myself and others. A duel is quiteirrational, and no one expects it of me. My aim is simply tosafeguard my reputation, which is essential for the uninterruptedpursuit of my public duties." Official duties, which had alwaysbeen of great consequence in Alexey Alexandrovitch's eyes, seemedof special importance to his mind at this moment. Consideringand rejecting the duel, Alexey Alexandrovitch turned todivorce--another solution selected by several of the husbands heremembered. Passing in mental review all the instances he knewof divorces (there were plenty of them in the very highestsociety with which he was very familiar), Alexey Alexandrovitchcould not find a single example in which the object of divorcewas that which he had in view. In all these instances thehusband had practically ceded or sold his unfaithful wife, andthe very party which, being in fault, had not the right tocontract a fresh marriage, had formed counterfeit,pseudo-matrimonial ties with a self-styled husband. In his owncase, Alexey Alexandrovitch saw that a legal divorce, that is tosay, one in which only the guilty wife would be repudiated, wasimpossible of attainment. He saw that the complex conditions ofthe life they led made the coarse proofs of his wife's guilt,required by the law, out of the question; he saw that a certainrefinement in that life would not admit of such proofs beingbrought forward, even if he had them, and that to bring forwardsuch proofs would damage him in the public estimation more thanit would her.

　　An attempt at divorce could lead to nothing but a public scandal,which would be a perfect godsend to his enemies for calumny andattacks on his high position in society. His chief object, todefine the position with the least amount of disturbancepossible, would not be attained by divorce either. Moreover, inthe event of divorce, or even of an attempt to obtain a divorce,it was obvious that the wife broke off all relations with thehusband and threw in her lot with the lover. And in spite of thecomplete, as he supposed, contempt and indifference he now feltfor his wife, at the bottom of his heart, Alexey Alexandrovitchstill had one feeling left in regard to her--a disinclination tosee her free to throw in her lot with Vronsky, so that her crimewould be to her advantage. The mere notion of this soexasperated Alexey Alexandrovitch, that directly it rose to hismind he groaned with inward agony, and got up and changed hisplace in the carriage, and for a long while after, he sat withscowling brows, wrapping his numbed and bony legs in the fleecyrug.

　　"Apart from formal divorce, One might still do like Karibanov,Paskudin, and that good fellow Dram--that is, separate fromone's wife," he went on thinking, when he had regained hiscomposure. But this step too presented the same drawback ofpublic scandal as a divorce, and what was more, a separation,quite as much as a regular divorce, flung his wife into the armsof Vronsky. "No, it's out of the question, out of the question!"he said again, twisting his rug about him again. "I cannot beunhappy, but neither she nor he ought to be happy."

　　The feeling of jealousy, which had tortured him during the periodof uncertainty, had passed away at the instant when the tooth hadbeen with agony extracted by his wife's words. But that feelinghad been replaced by another, the desire, not merely that sheshould not be triumphant, but that she should get due punishmentfor her crime. He did not acknowledge this feeling, but at thebottom of his heart he longed for her to suffer for havingdestroyed his peace of mind--his honor. And going once againover the conditions inseparable from a duel, a divorce, aseparation, and once again rejecting them, Alexey Alexandrovitchfelt convinced that there was only one solution,--to keep herwith him, concealing what had happened from the world, and usingevery measure in his power to break off the intrigue, and stillmore--though this he did not admit to himself--to punish her."I must inform her of my conclusion, that thinking over theterrible position in which she has placed her family, all othersolutions will be worse for both sides than an external statusquo, and that such I agree to retain, on the strict condition ofobedience on her part to my wishes, that is to say, cessation ofall intercourse with her lover." When this decision had beenfinally adopted, another weighty consideration occurred to Alexey

　　Alexandrovitch in support of it. "By such a course only shall Ibe acting in accordance with the dictates of religion," he toldhimself. "In adopting this course, I am not casting off aguilty wife, but giving her a chance of amendment; and, indeed,difficult as the task will be to me, I shall devote part of myenergies to her reformation and salvation."

　　Though Alexey Alexandrovitch was perfectly aware that he couldnot exert any moral influence over his wife, that such an attemptat reformation could lead to nothing but falsity; though inpassing through these difficult moments he had not once thoughtof seeking guidance in religion, yet now, when his conclusioncorresponded, as it seemed to him, with the requirements ofreligion, this religious sanction to his decision gave himcomplete satisfaction, and to some extent restored his peace ofmind. He was pleased to think that, even in such an importantcrisis in life, no one would be able to say that he had not actedin accordance with the principles of that religion whose bannerhe had always held aloft amid the general coolness andindifference. As he pondered over subsequent developments,Alexey Alexandrovitch did not see, indeed, why his relations withhis wife should not remain practically the same as before. Nodoubt, she could never regain his esteem, but there was not, andthere could not be, any sort of reason that his existence shouldbe troubled, and that he should suffer because she was a bad andfaithless wife. "Yes, time will pass; time, which arranges allthings, and the old relations will be reestablished," AlexeyAlexandrovitch told himself; "so far reestablished, that is, thatI shall not be sensible of a break in the continuity of my life.She is bound to be unhappy, but I am not to blame, and so Icannot be unhappy."