Part Two: Chapter 5

by Leo Tolstoy

　　"This is rather indiscreet, but it's so good it's an awfultemptation to tell the story," said Vronsky, looking at her withhis laughing eyes. "I'm not going to mention any names."

　　"But I shall guess, so much the better."

　　"Well, listen: two festive young men were driving-"

　　"Officers of your regiment, of course?"

　　"I didn't say they were officers,--two young men who had beenlunching."

　　"In other words, drinking."

　　"Possibly. They were driving on their way to dinner with afriend in the most festive state of mind. And they beheld apretty woman in a hired sledge; she overtakes them, looks roundat them, and, so they fancy anyway, nods to them and laughs.They, of course, follow her. They gallop at full speed. Totheir amazement, the fair one alights at the entrance of the veryhouse to which they were going. The fair one darts upstairs tothe top story. They get a glimpse of red lips under a shortveil, and exquisite little feet."

　　"You describe it with such feeling that I fancy you must be oneof the two."

　　"And after what you said, just now! Well, the young men go in totheir comrade's; he was giving a farewell dinner. There theycertainly did drink a little too much, as one always does atfarewell dinners. And at dinner they inquire who lives at thetop in that house. No one knows; only their host's valet, inanswer to their inquiry whether any 'young ladies' are living onthe top floor, answered that there were a great many of themabout there. After dinner the two young men go into their host'sstudy, and write a letter to the unknown fair one. They composean ardent epistle, a declaration in fact, and they carry theletter upstairs themselves, so as to elucidate whatever mightappear not perfectly intelligible in the letter."

　　"Why are you telling me these horrible stories? Well?"

　　"They ring. A maidservant opens the door, they hand her theletter, and assure the maid that they're both so in love thatthey'll die on the spot at the door. The maid, stupefied,carries in their messages. All at once a gentleman appears withwhiskers like sausages, as red as a lobster, announces that thereis no one living in the flat except his wife, and sends them bothabout their business."

　　"How do you know he had whiskers like sausages, as you say?"

　　"Ah, you shall hear. I've just been to make peace between them."

　　"Well, and what then?"

　　"That's the most interesting part of the story. It appears thatit's a happy couple, a government clerk and his lady. Thegovernment clerk lodges a complaint, and I became a mediator, andsuch a mediator!... I assure you Talleyrand couldn't hold acandle to me."

　　"Why, where was the difficulty?"

　　"Ah, you shall hear.... We apologize in due form: we are indespair, we entreat forgiveness for the unfortunatemisunderstanding. The government clerk with the sausages beginsto melt, but he, too, desires to express his sentiments, and assoon as ever he begins to express them, he begins to get hot andsay nasty things, and again I'm obliged to trot out all mydiplomatic talents. I allowed that their conduct was bad, but Iurged him to take into consideration their heedlessness, theiryouth; then, too, the young men had only just been lunchingtogether. 'You understand. They regret it deeply, and beg youto overlook their misbehavior.' The government clerk wassoftened once more. 'I consent, count, and am ready to overlookit; but you perceive that my wife--my wife's a respectable woman--his been exposed to the persecution, and insults, andeffrontery of young upstarts, scoundrels....' And you mustunderstand, the young upstarts are present all the while, and Ihave to keep the peace between them. Again I call out all mydiplomacy, and again as soon as the thing was about at an end,our friend the government clerk gets hot and red, and hissausages stand on end with wrath, and once more I launch out intodiplomatic wiles."

　　"Ah, he must tell you this story!" said Betsy, laughing, to alady to came into her box. "He has been making me laugh so."

　　"Well, bonne chance!" she added, giving Vronsky one finger of thehand in which she held her fan, and with a shrug of her shouldersshe twitched down the bodice of her gown that had worked up, soas to be duly naked as she moved forward towards the footlightsinto the light of the gas, and the sight of all eyes.

　　Vronsky drove to the French theater, where he really had to seethe colonel of his regiment, who never missed a singleperformance there. He wanted to see him, to report on the resultof his mediation, which had occupied and amused him for the lastthree days. Petritsky, whom he liked, was implicated in theaffair, and the other culprit was a capital fellow and first-ratecomrade, who had lately joined the regiment, the young PrinceKedrov. And what was most important, the interests of theregiment were involved in it too.

　　Both the young men were in Vronsky's company. The colonel of theregiment was waited upon by the government clerk, Venden, with acomplaint against his officers, who had insulted his wife. Hisyoung wife, so Venden told the story--he had been married half ayear--was at church with her mother, and suddenly overcome byindisposition, arising from her interesting condition, she couldnot remain standing, she drove home in the first sledge, asmart-looking one, she came across. On the spot the officers setoff in pursuit of her; she was alarmed, and feeling still moreunwell, ran up the staircase home. Venden himself, on returningfrom his office, heard a ring at their bell and voices, went out,and seeing the intoxicated officers with a letter, he had turnedthem out. He asked for exemplary punishment.

　　"Yes, it's all very well," said the colonel to Vronsky, whom hehad invited to come and see him. "Petritsky's becomingimpossible. Not a week goes by without some scandal. Thisgovernment clerk won't let it drop, he'll go on with the thing."

　　Vronsky saw all the thanklessness of the business, and that therecould be no question of a duel in it, that everything must bedone to soften the government clerk, and hush the matter up. Thecolonel had called in Vronsky just because he knew him to be anhonorable and intelligent man, and, more than all, a man whocared for the honor of the regiment. They talked it over, anddecided that Petritsky and Kedrov must go with Vronsky toVenden's to apologize. The colonel and Vronsky were both fullyaware that Vronsky's name and rank would be sure to contributegreatly to softening of the injured husband's feelings.

　　And these two influences were not in fact without effect; thoughthe result remained, as Vronsky had described, uncertain.

　　On reaching the French theater, Vronsky retired to the foyer withthe colonel, and reported to him his success, or non-success.The colonel, thinking it all over, made up his mind not to pursuethe matter further, but then for his own satisfaction proceededto cross-examine Vronsky about his interview; and it was a longwhile before he could restrain his laughter, as Vronsky describedhow the government clerk, after subsiding for a while, wouldsuddenly flare up again, as he recalled the details, and howVronsky, at the last half word of conciliation, skillfullymaneuvered a retreat, shoving Petritsky out before him.

　　"It's a disgraceful story, but killing. Kedrov really can'tfight the gentleman! Was he so awfully hot?" he commented,laughing. "But what do you say to Claire today? She'smarvelous," he went on, speaking of a new French actress."However often you see her, every day she's different. It's onlythe French who can to that."