Part Two: Chapter 9

by Leo Tolstoy

　　Anna came in with hanging head, playing with the tassels of herhood. Her face was brilliant and glowing; but this glow was notone of brightness; it suggested the fearful glow of aconflagration in the midst of a dark night. On seeing herhusband, Anna raised her head and smiled, as though she had justwaked up.

　　"You're not in bed? What a wonder!" she said, letting fall herhood, and without stopping, she went on into the dressing room."It's late, Alexey Alexandrovitch," she said, when she had gonethrough the doorway.

　　"Anna, it's necessary for me to have a talk with you."

　　"With me?" she said, wonderingly. She came out from behind thedoor of the dressing room, and looked at him. "Why, what is it?What about?" she asked, sitting down. "Well, let's talk, if it'sso necessary. But it would be better to get to sleep."

　　Anna said what came to her lips, and marveled, hearing herself,at her own capacity for lying. How simple and natural were herwords, and how likely that she was simply sleepy! She feltherself clad in an impenetrable armor of falsehood. She feltthat some unseen force had come to her aid and was supportingher.

　　"Anna, I must warn you," he began.

　　"Warn me?" she said. "Of what?"

　　She looked at him so simply, so brightly, that anyone who didnot know her as her husband knew her could not have noticedanything unnatural, either in the sound or the sense of herwords. But to him, knowing her, knowing that whenever he went tobed five minutes later than usual, she noticed it, and asked himthe reason; to him, knowing that every joy, every pleasure andpain that she felt she communicated to him at once; to him, nowto see that she did not care to notice his state of mind, thatshe did not care to say a word about herself, meant a great deal.He saw that the inmost recesses of her soul, that had alwayshitherto lain open before him, were closed against him. Morethan that, he saw from her tone that she was not even perturbedat that, but as it were said straight out to him: "Yes, it's shutup, and so it must be, and will be in future." Now heexperienced a feeling such as a man might have, returning homeand finding his own house locked up. "But perhaps the key mayyet be found," thought Alexey Alexandrovitch.

　　"I want to warn you," he said in a low voice, "that throughthoughtlessness and lack of caution you may cause yourself to betalked about in society. Your too animated conversation thisevening with Count Vronsky" (he enunciated the name firmly andwith deliberate emphasis) "attracted attention."

　　He talked and looked at her laughing eyes, which frightened himnow with their impenetrable look, and, as he talked, he felt allthe uselessness and idleness of his words.

　　"You're always like that," she answered as though completelymisapprehending him, and of all he had said only taking in thelast phrase. "One time you don't like my being dull, and anothertime you don't like my being lively. I wasn't dull. Does thatoffend you?"

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch shivered, and bent his hands to make thejoints crack.

　　"Oh, please, don't do that, I do so dislike it," she said.

　　"Anna, is this you?" said Alexey Alexandrovitch, quietly makingan effort over himself, and restraining the motion of hisfingers.

　　"But what is it all about?" she said, with such genuine and drollwonder. "What do you want of me?"

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch paused, and rubbed his forehead and hiseyes. He saw that instead of doing as he had intended--that isto say, warning his wife against a mistake in the eyes of theworld--he had unconsciously become agitated over what was theaffair of her conscience, and was struggling against the barrierhe fancied between them.

　　"This is what I meant to say to you," he went on coldly andcomposedly, "and I beg you to listen to it. I consider jealousy,as you know, a humiliating and degrading feeling, and I shallnever allow myself to be influenced by it; but there are certainrules of decorum which cannot be disregarded with impunity. Thisevening it was not I observed it, but judging by the impressionmade on the company, everyone observed that your conduct anddeportment were not altogether what could be desired."

　　"I positively don't understand," said Anna, shrugging hershoulders--"He doesn't care," she thought. "But other peoplenoticed it, and that's what upsets him."--"You're not well,Alexey Alexandrovitch," she added, and she got up, and would havegone towards the door; but he moved forward as though he wouldstop her.

　　His face was ugly and forbidding, as Anna had never seen him.She stopped, and bending her head back and on one side, beganwith her rapid hand taking out her hairpins.

　　"Well, I'm listening to what's to come," she said, calmly andironically; "and indeed I listened with interest, for I shouldlike to understand what's the matter."

　　She spoke, and marveled at the confident, calm, and natural tonein which she was speaking, and the choice of the words she used.

　　"To enter into all the details of your feelings I have no right,and besides, I regard that as useless and even harmful," beganAlexey Alexandrovitch. "Ferreting in one's soul, one oftenferrets out something that might have lain there unnoticed. Yourfeelings are an affair of your own conscience; but I am in dutybound to you, to myself, and to God, to point out to you yourduties. Our life has been joined, not by man, but by God. Thatunion can only be severed by a crime, and a crime of that naturebrings its own chastisement."

　　"I don't understand a word. And, oh dear! how sleepy I am,unluckily," she said, rapidly passing her hand through her hair,feeling for the remaining hairpins.

　　"Anna, for God's sake don't speak like that!" he said gently."Perhaps I am mistaken, but believe me, what I say, I say as muchfor myself as for you. I am your husband, and I love you."

　　For an instant her face fell, and the mocking gleam in her eyesdied away; but the word love threw her into revolt again. Shethought: "Love? Can he love? If he hadn't heard there was sucha thing as love, he would never have used the word. He doesn'teven know what love is."

　　"Alexey Alexandrovitch, really I don't understand," she said.Define what it is you find..."

　　"Pardon, let me say all I have to say. I love you. But I am notspeaking of myself; the most important persons in this matter areour son and yourself. It may very well be, I repeat, that mywords seem to you utterly unnecessary and out of place; it may bethat they are called forth by my mistaken impression. In thatcase, I beg you to forgive me. But if you are consciousyourself of even the smallest foundation for them, then I beg youto think a little, and if your heart prompts you, to speak out tome..."

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch was unconsciously saying something utterlyunlike what he had prepared.

　　"I have nothing to say. And besides," she said hurriedly, withdifficulty repressing a smile, "it's really time to be in bed."

　　Alexey Alexandrovitch sighed, and, without saying more, went intothe bedroom.

　　When she came into the bedroom, he was already in bed. His lipswere sternly compressed, and his eyes looked away from her. Annagot into her bed, and lay expecting every minute that he wouldbegin to speak to her again. She both feared his speaking andwished for it. But he was silent. She waited for a long whilewithout moving, and had forgotten about him. She thought of thatother; she pictured him, and felt how her heart was flooded withemotion and guilty delight at the thought of him. Suddenly sheheard an even, tranquil snore. For the first instant AlexeyAlexandrovitch seemed, as it were, appalled at his own snoring,and ceased; but after an interval of two breathings the snoresounded again, with a new tranquil rhythm.

　　"It's late, it's late," she whispered with a smile. A long whileshe lay, not moving, with open eyes, whose brilliance she almostfancied she could herself see in the darkness.