Act V, Scene IV: Another Part of the Forest

by William Shakespeare

　　[Enter DUKE Senior, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA.]

　　DUKE SENIORDost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised?ORLANDOI sometimes do believe and sometimes do not: As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.[Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE.]ROSALINDPatience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd:—[To the Duke.]You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,You will bestow her on Orlando here?

　　DUKE SENIORThat would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

　　ROSALIND[To Orlando.] And you say you will have her when I bring her?

　　ORLANDOThat would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

　　ROSALIND[To Phebe.] You say you'll marry me, if I be willing?

　　PHEBEThat will I, should I die the hour after.

　　ROSALINDBut if you do refuse to marry me,You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

　　PHEBESo is the bargain.

　　ROSALIND[To Silvius.] You say that you'll have Phebe, if she will?

　　SILVIUSThough to have her and death were both one thing.

　　ROSALINDI have promis'd to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter;— You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter;— Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me; Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd:— Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her If she refuse me:—and from hence I go, To make these doubts all even.[Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA.]DUKE SENIORI do remember in this shepherd-boySome lively touches of my daughter's favour.

　　ORLANDOMy lord, the first time that I ever saw him Methought he was a brother to your daughter: But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscurèd in the circle of this forest.JAQUESThere is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts which in all tongues are called fools.

　　[Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.]

　　TOUCHSTONESalutation and greeting to you all!

　　JAQUESGood my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.

　　TOUCHSTONEIf any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.

　　JAQUESAnd how was that ta'en up?

　　TOUCHSTONEFaith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.

　　JAQUESHow seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow?

　　DUKE SENIORI like him very well.

　　TOUCHSTONEGod 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear; according as marriage binds and blood breaks:—A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will; rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor-house; as your pearl in your foul oyster.

　　DUKE SENIORBy my faith, he is very swift and sententious.

　　TOUCHSTONEAccording to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.

　　JAQUESBut, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

　　TOUCHSTONEUpon a lie seven times removed;—bear your body more seeming, Audrey:—as thus, sir, I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is called the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say I lie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so, to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct.

　　JAQUESAnd how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

　　TOUCHSTONEI durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords and parted.

　　JAQUESCan you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?

　　TOUCHSTONEO, sir, we quarrel in print by the book, as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may avoid that too with an "If". I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an "If", as: "If you said so, then I said so;" and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your "If" is the only peace-maker;—much virtue in "If."

　　JAQUESIs not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at anything, and yet a fool.

　　DUKE SENIORHe uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.

　　[Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's clothes; and CELIA.]

　　[Still MUSIC.]

　　HYMENThen is there mirth in heaven, When earthly things made even Atone together. Good duke, receive thy daughter; Hymen from heaven brought her, Yea, brought her hither, That thou mightst join her hand with his, Whose heart within his bosom is.ROSALIND[To DUKE SENIOR.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.[To ORLANDO.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

　　DUKE SENIORIf there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

　　ORLANDOIf there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

　　PHEBEIf sight and shape be true,Why then, my love, adieu!

　　ROSALIND[To DUKE SENIOR.] I'll have no father, if you be not he;—[To ORLANDO.] I'll have no husband, if you be not he;—[To PHEBE.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.

　　HYMENPeace, ho! I bar confusion: 'Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: Here's eight that must take hands To join in Hymen's bands, If truth holds true contents.[To ORLANDO and ROSALIND.] You and you no cross shall part:[To OLIVER and CELIA.] You and you are heart in heart;[To PHEBE.] You to his love must accord,Or have a woman to your lord:—[To TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.] You and you are sure together, As the winter to foul weather. Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing, Feed yourselves with questioning, That reason wonder may diminish, How thus we met, and these things finish. SONG Wedding is great Juno's crown; O blessed bond of board and bed! 'Tis Hymen peoples every town; High wedlock then be honourèd; Honour, high honour, and renown, To Hymen, god of every town!DUKE SENIORO my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.

　　PHEBE[To SILVIUS.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.[Enter JAQUES DE BOIS.]JAQUES DE BOISLet me have audience for a word or two; I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, That bring these tidings to this fair assembly:— Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day Men of great worth resorted to this forest, Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot, In his own conduct, purposely to take His brother here, and put him to the sword: And to the skirts of this wild wood he came; Where, meeting with an old religious man, After some question with him, was converted Both from his enterprise and from the world; His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother, And all their lands restored to them again That were with him exil'd. This to be true I do engage my life.DUKE SENIORWelcome, young man: Thou offer'st fairly to thy brother's wedding: To one, his lands withheld; and to the other, A land itself at large, a potent dukedom. First, in this forest, let us do those ends That here were well begun and well begot: And after, every of this happy number, That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us, Shall share the good of our returnèd fortune, According to the measure of their states. Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity, And fall into our rustic revelry:— Play, music!—and you brides and bridegrooms all, With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.JAQUESSir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly, The duke hath put on a religious life, And thrown into neglect the pompous court?JAQUES DE BOISHe hath.

　　JAQUESTo him will I: out of these convertitesThere is much matter to be heard and learn'd.—

　　[To DUKE SENIOR] You to your former honour I bequeath;Your patience and your virtue well deserves it:—[To ORLANDO] You to a love that your true faith doth merit:—

　　[To OLIVER] You to your land, and love, and great allies:—

　　[To SILVIUS] You to a long and well-deservèd bed:—

　　[To TOUCHSTONE] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyageIs but for two months victuall'd.—So to your pleasures;I am for other than for dancing measures.

　　DUKE SENIORStay, Jaques, stay.

　　JAQUESTo see no pastime I; what you would haveI'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave.

　　[Exit.]

　　DUKE SENIORProceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.

　　[A dance.]