Two Footpads

by Ambrose Bierce

　　Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the evening's adventures."I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I got away with what he had.""And I," said the Second Footpad, "stood up the United States District Attorney, and got away with - ""Good Lord!" interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration - "you got away with what that fellow had?""No," the unfortunate narrator explained - "with a small part of what I had."