Chapter 1: Start in Life

by Daniel Defoe

　　I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family,though not of that country, my father being a foreigner of Bremen,who settled first at Hull. He got a good estate by merchandise,and leaving off his trade, lived afterwards at York, from whence hehad married my mother, whose relations were named Robinson, a verygood family in that country, and from whom I was called RobinsonKreutznaer; but, by the usual corruption of words in England, weare now called - nay we call ourselves and write our name - Crusoe;and so my companions always called me.I had two elder brothers, one of whom was lieutenant-colonel to anEnglish regiment of foot in Flanders, formerly commanded by thefamous Colonel Lockhart, and was killed at the battle near Dunkirkagainst the Spaniards. What became of my second brother I neverknew, any more than my father or mother knew what became of me.Being the third son of the family and not bred to any trade, myhead began to be filled very early with rambling thoughts. Myfather, who was very ancient, had given me a competent share oflearning, as far as house-education and a country free schoolgenerally go, and designed me for the law; but I would be satisfiedwith nothing but going to sea; and my inclination to this led me sostrongly against the will, nay, the commands of my father, andagainst all the entreaties and persuasions of my mother and otherfriends, that there seemed to be something fatal in that propensityof nature, tending directly to the life of misery which was tobefall me.My father, a wise and grave man, gave me serious and excellentcounsel against what he foresaw was my design. He called me onemorning into his chamber, where he was confined by the gout, andexpostulated very warmly with me upon this subject. He asked mewhat reasons, more than a mere wandering inclination, I had forleaving father's house and my native country, where I might be wellintroduced, and had a prospect of raising my fortune by applicationand industry, with a life of ease and pleasure. He told me it wasmen of desperate fortunes on one hand, or of aspiring, superiorfortunes on the other, who went abroad upon adventures, to rise byenterprise, and make themselves famous in undertakings of a natureout of the common road; that these things were all either too farabove me or too far below me; that mine was the middle state, orwhat might be called the upper station of low life, which he hadfound, by long experience, was the best state in the world, themost suited to human happiness, not exposed to the miseries andhardships, the labour and sufferings of the mechanic part ofmankind, and not embarrassed with the pride, luxury, ambition, andenvy of the upper part of mankind. He told me I might judge of thehappiness of this state by this one thing - viz. that this was thestate of life which all other people envied; that kings havefrequently lamented the miserable consequence of being born togreat things, and wished they had been placed in the middle of thetwo extremes, between the mean and the great; that the wise mangave his testimony to this, as the standard of felicity, when heprayed to have neither poverty nor riches.He bade me observe it, and I should always find that the calamitiesof life were shared among the upper and lower part of mankind, butthat the middle station had the fewest disasters, and was notexposed to so many vicissitudes as the higher or lower part ofmankind; nay, they were not subjected to so many distempers anduneasinesses, either of body or mind, as those were who, by viciousliving, luxury, and extravagances on the one hand, or by hardlabour, want of necessaries, and mean or insufficient diet on theother hand, bring distemper upon themselves by the naturalconsequences of their way of living; that the middle station oflife was calculated for all kind of virtue and all kind ofenjoyments; that peace and plenty were the handmaids of a middlefortune; that temperance, moderation, quietness, health, society,all agreeable diversions, and all desirable pleasures, were theblessings attending the middle station of life; that this way menwent silently and smoothly through the world, and comfortably outof it, not embarrassed with the labours of the hands or of thehead, not sold to a life of slavery for daily bread, nor harassedwith perplexed circumstances, which rob the soul of peace and thebody of rest, nor enraged with the passion of envy, or the secretburning lust of ambition for great things; but, in easycircumstances, sliding gently through the world, and sensiblytasting the sweets of living, without the bitter; feeling that theyare happy, and learning by every day's experience to know it moresensibly,After this he pressed me earnestly, and in the most affectionatemanner, not to play the young man, nor to precipitate myself intomiseries which nature, and the station of life I was born in,seemed to have provided against; that I was under no necessity ofseeking my bread; that he would do well for me, and endeavour toenter me fairly into the station of life which he had just beenrecommending to me; and that if I was not very easy and happy inthe world, it must be my mere fate or fault that must hinder it;and that he should have nothing to answer for, having thusdischarged his duty in warning me against measures which he knewwould be to my hurt; in a word, that as he would do very kindthings for me if I would stay and settle at home as he directed, sohe would not have so much hand in my misfortunes as to give me anyencouragement to go away; and to close all, he told me I had myelder brother for an example, to whom he had used the same earnestpersuasions to keep him from going into the Low Country wars, butcould not prevail, his young desires prompting him to run into thearmy, where he was killed; and though he said he would not cease topray for me, yet he would venture to say to me, that if I did takethis foolish step, God would not bless me, and I should haveleisure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his counsel whenthere might be none to assist in my recovery.I observed in this last part of his discourse, which was trulyprophetic, though I suppose my father did not know it to be sohimself - I say, I observed the tears run down his face veryplentifully, especially when he spoke of my brother who was killed:and that when he spoke of my having leisure to repent, and none toassist me, he was so moved that he broke off the discourse, andtold me his heart was so full he could say no more to me.I was sincerely affected with this discourse, and, indeed, whocould be otherwise? and I resolved not to think of going abroad anymore, but to settle at home according to my father's desire. Butalas! a few days wore it all off; and, in short, to prevent any ofmy father's further importunities, in a few weeks after I resolvedto run quite away from him. However, I did not act quite sohastily as the first heat of my resolution prompted; but I took mymother at a time when I thought her a little more pleasant thanordinary, and told her that my thoughts were so entirely bent uponseeing the world that I should never settle to anything withresolution enough to go through with it, and my father had bettergive me his consent than force me to go without it; that I was noweighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to a tradeor clerk to an attorney; that I was sure if I did I should neverserve out my time, but I should certainly run away from my masterbefore my time was out, and go to sea; and if she would speak to myfather to let me go one voyage abroad, if I came home again, anddid not like it, I would go no more; and I would promise, by adouble diligence, to recover the time that I had lost.This put my mother into a great passion; she told me she knew itwould be to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject;that he knew too well what was my interest to give his consent toanything so much for my hurt; and that she wondered how I couldthink of any such thing after the discourse I had had with myfather, and such kind and tender expressions as she knew my fatherhad used to me; and that, in short, if I would ruin myself, therewas no help for me; but I might depend I should never have theirconsent to it; that for her part she would not have so much hand inmy destruction; and I should never have it to say that my motherwas willing when my father was not.Though my mother refused to move it to my father, yet I heardafterwards that she reported all the discourse to him, and that myfather, after showing a great concern at it, said to her, with asigh, "That boy might be happy if he would stay at home; but if hegoes abroad, he will be the most miserable wretch that ever wasborn: I can give no consent to it."It was not till almost a year after this that I broke loose,though, in the meantime, I continued obstinately deaf to allproposals of settling to business, and frequently expostulated withmy father and mother about their being so positively determinedagainst what they knew my inclinations prompted me to. But beingone day at Hull, where I went casually, and without any purpose ofmaking an elopement at that time; but, I say, being there, and oneof my companions being about to sail to London in his father'sship, and prompting me to go with them with the common allurementof seafaring men, that it should cost me nothing for my passage, Iconsulted neither father nor mother any more, nor so much as sentthem word of it; but leaving them to hear of it as they might,without asking God's blessing or my father's, without anyconsideration of circumstances or consequences, and in an ill hour,God knows, on the 1st of September 1651, I went on board a shipbound for London. Never any young adventurer's misfortunes, Ibelieve, began sooner, or continued longer than mine. The ship wasno sooner out of the Humber than the wind began to blow and the seato rise in a most frightful manner; and, as I had never been at seabefore, I was most inexpressibly sick in body and terrified inmind. I began now seriously to reflect upon what I had done, andhow justly I was overtaken by the judgment of Heaven for my wickedleaving my father's house, and abandoning my duty. All the goodcounsels of my parents, my father's tears and my mother'sentreaties, came now fresh into my mind; and my conscience, whichwas not yet come to the pitch of hardness to which it has since,reproached me with the contempt of advice, and the breach of myduty to God and my father.All this while the storm increased, and the sea went very high,though nothing like what I have seen many times since; no, nor whatI saw a few days after; but it was enough to affect me then, whowas but a young sailor, and had never known anything of the matter.I expected every wave would have swallowed us up, and that everytime the ship fell down, as I thought it did, in the trough orhollow of the sea, we should never rise more; in this agony ofmind, I made many vows and resolutions that if it would please Godto spare my life in this one voyage, if ever I got once my footupon dry land again, I would go directly home to my father, andnever set it into a ship again while I lived; that I would take hisadvice, and never run myself into such miseries as these any more.Now I saw plainly the goodness of his observations about the middlestation of life, how easy, how comfortably he had lived all hisdays, and never had been exposed to tempests at sea or troubles onshore; and I resolved that I would, like a true repenting prodigal,go home to my father.These wise and sober thoughts continued all the while the stormlasted, and indeed some time after; but the next day the wind wasabated, and the sea calmer, and I began to be a little inured toit; however, I was very grave for all that day, being also a littlesea-sick still; but towards night the weather cleared up, the windwas quite over, and a charming fine evening followed; the sun wentdown perfectly clear, and rose so the next morning; and havinglittle or no wind, and a smooth sea, the sun shining upon it, thesight was, as I thought, the most delightful that ever I saw.I had slept well in the night, and was now no more sea-sick, butvery cheerful, looking with wonder upon the sea that was so roughand terrible the day before, and could be so calm and so pleasantin so little a time after. And now, lest my good resolutionsshould continue, my companion, who had enticed me away, comes tome; "Well, Bob," says he, clapping me upon the shoulder, "how doyou do after it? I warrant you were frighted, wer'n't you, lastnight, when it blew but a capful of wind?" "A capful d'you callit?" said I; "'twas a terrible storm." "A storm, you fool you,"replies he; "do you call that a storm? why, it was nothing at all;give us but a good ship and sea-room, and we think nothing of sucha squall of wind as that; but you're but a fresh-water sailor, Bob.Come, let us make a bowl of punch, and we'll forget all that; d'yesee what charming weather 'tis now?" To make short this sad partof my story, we went the way of all sailors; the punch was made andI was made half drunk with it: and in that one night's wickedness Idrowned all my repentance, all my reflections upon my past conduct,all my resolutions for the future. In a word, as the sea wasreturned to its smoothness of surface and settled calmness by theabatement of that storm, so the hurry of my thoughts being over, myfears and apprehensions of being swallowed up by the sea beingforgotten, and the current of my former desires returned, Ientirely forgot the vows and promises that I made in my distress.I found, indeed, some intervals of reflection; and the seriousthoughts did, as it were, endeavour to return again sometimes; butI shook them off, and roused myself from them as it were from adistemper, and applying myself to drinking and company, soonmastered the return of those fits - for so I called them; and I hadin five or six days got as complete a victory over conscience asany young fellow that resolved not to be troubled with it coulddesire. But I was to have another trial for it still; andProvidence, as in such cases generally it does, resolved to leaveme entirely without excuse; for if I would not take this for adeliverance, the next was to be such a one as the worst and mosthardened wretch among us would confess both the danger and themercy of.The sixth day of our being at sea we came into Yarmouth Roads; thewind having been contrary and the weather calm, we had made butlittle way since the storm. Here we were obliged to come to ananchor, and here we lay, the wind continuing contrary - viz. atsouth-west - for seven or eight days, during which time a greatmany ships from Newcastle came into the same Roads, as the commonharbour where the ships might wait for a wind for the river.We had not, however, rid here so long but we should have tided itup the river, but that the wind blew too fresh, and after we hadlain four or five days, blew very hard. However, the Roads beingreckoned as good as a harbour, the anchorage good, and our ground-tackle very strong, our men were unconcerned, and not in the leastapprehensive of danger, but spent the time in rest and mirth, afterthe manner of the sea; but the eighth day, in the morning, the windincreased, and we had all hands at work to strike our topmasts, andmake everything snug and close, that the ship might ride as easy aspossible. By noon the sea went very high indeed, and our ship rodeforecastle in, shipped several seas, and we thought once or twiceour anchor had come home; upon which our master ordered out thesheet-anchor, so that we rode with two anchors ahead, and thecables veered out to the bitter end.By this time it blew a terrible storm indeed; and now I began tosee terror and amazement in the faces even of the seamenthemselves. The master, though vigilant in the business ofpreserving the ship, yet as he went in and out of his cabin by me,I could hear him softly to himself say, several times, "Lord bemerciful to us! we shall be all lost! we shall be all undone!" andthe like. During these first hurries I was stupid, lying still inmy cabin, which was in the steerage, and cannot describe my temper:I could ill resume the first penitence which I had so apparentlytrampled upon and hardened myself against: I thought the bitternessof death had been past, and that this would be nothing like thefirst; but when the master himself came by me, as I said just now,and said we should be all lost, I was dreadfully frighted. I gotup out of my cabin and looked out; but such a dismal sight I neversaw: the sea ran mountains high, and broke upon us every three orfour minutes; when I could look about, I could see nothing butdistress round us; two ships that rode near us, we found, had cuttheir masts by the board, being deep laden; and our men cried outthat a ship which rode about a mile ahead of us was foundered. Twomore ships, being driven from their anchors, were run out of theRoads to sea, at all adventures, and that with not a mast standing.The light ships fared the best, as not so much labouring in thesea; but two or three of them drove, and came close by us, runningaway with only their spritsail out before the wind.Towards evening the mate and boatswain begged the master of ourship to let them cut away the fore-mast, which he was veryunwilling to do; but the boatswain protesting to him that if he didnot the ship would founder, he consented; and when they had cutaway the fore-mast, the main-mast stood so loose, and shook theship so much, they were obliged to cut that away also, and make aclear deck.Any one may judge what a condition I must be in at all this, whowas but a young sailor, and who had been in such a fright before atbut a little. But if I can express at this distance the thoughts Ihad about me at that time, I was in tenfold more horror of mindupon account of my former convictions, and the having returned fromthem to the resolutions I had wickedly taken at first, than I wasat death itself; and these, added to the terror of the storm, putme into such a condition that I can by no words describe it. Butthe worst was not come yet; the storm continued with such fury thatthe seamen themselves acknowledged they had never seen a worse. Wehad a good ship, but she was deep laden, and wallowed in the sea,so that the seamen every now and then cried out she would founder.It was my advantage in one respect, that I did not know what theymeant by founder till I inquired. However, the storm was soviolent that I saw, what is not often seen, the master, theboatswain, and some others more sensible than the rest, at theirprayers, and expecting every moment when the ship would go to thebottom. In the middle of the night, and under all the rest of ourdistresses, one of the men that had been down to see cried out wehad sprung a leak; another said there was four feet water in thehold. Then all hands were called to the pump. At that word, myheart, as I thought, died within me: and I fell backwards upon theside of my bed where I sat, into the cabin. However, the menroused me, and told me that I, that was able to do nothing before,was as well able to pump as another; at which I stirred up and wentto the pump, and worked very heartily. While this was doing themaster, seeing some light colliers, who, not able to ride out thestorm were obliged to slip and run away to sea, and would come nearus, ordered to fire a gun as a signal of distress. I, who knewnothing what they meant, thought the ship had broken, or somedreadful thing happened. In a word, I was so surprised that I felldown in a swoon. As this was a time when everybody had his ownlife to think of, nobody minded me, or what was become of me; butanother man stepped up to the pump, and thrusting me aside with hisfoot, let me lie, thinking I had been dead; and it was a greatwhile before I came to myself.We worked on; but the water increasing in the hold, it was apparentthat the ship would founder; and though the storm began to abate alittle, yet it was not possible she could swim till we might runinto any port; so the master continued firing guns for help; and alight ship, who had rid it out just ahead of us, ventured a boatout to help us. It was with the utmost hazard the boat came nearus; but it was impossible for us to get on board, or for the boatto lie near the ship's side, till at last the men rowing veryheartily, and venturing their lives to save ours, our men cast thema rope over the stern with a buoy to it, and then veered it out agreat length, which they, after much labour and hazard, took holdof, and we hauled them close under our stern, and got all intotheir boat. It was to no purpose for them or us, after we were inthe boat, to think of reaching their own ship; so all agreed to lether drive, and only to pull her in towards shore as much as wecould; and our master promised them, that if the boat was stavedupon shore, he would make it good to their master: so partly rowingand partly driving, our boat went away to the northward, slopingtowards the shore almost as far as Winterton Ness.We were not much more than a quarter of an hour out of our shiptill we saw her sink, and then I understood for the first time whatwas meant by a ship foundering in the sea. I must acknowledge Ihad hardly eyes to look up when the seamen told me she was sinking;for from the moment that they rather put me into the boat than thatI might be said to go in, my heart was, as it were, dead within me,partly with fright, partly with horror of mind, and the thoughts ofwhat was yet before me.While we were in this condition - the men yet labouring at the oarto bring the boat near the shore - we could see (when, our boatmounting the waves, we were able to see the shore) a great manypeople running along the strand to assist us when we should comenear; but we made but slow way towards the shore; nor were we ableto reach the shore till, being past the lighthouse at Winterton,the shore falls off to the westward towards Cromer, and so the landbroke off a little the violence of the wind. Here we got in, andthough not without much difficulty, got all safe on shore, andwalked afterwards on foot to Yarmouth, where, as unfortunate men,we were used with great humanity, as well by the magistrates of thetown, who assigned us good quarters, as by particular merchants andowners of ships, and had money given us sufficient to carry useither to London or back to Hull as we thought fit.Had I now had the sense to have gone back to Hull, and have gonehome, I had been happy, and my father, as in our blessed Saviour'sparable, had even killed the fatted calf for me; for hearing theship I went away in was cast away in Yarmouth Roads, it was a greatwhile before he had any assurances that I was not drowned.But my ill fate pushed me on now with an obstinacy that nothingcould resist; and though I had several times loud calls from myreason and my more composed judgment to go home, yet I had no powerto do it. I know not what to call this, nor will I urge that it isa secret overruling decree, that hurries us on to be theinstruments of our own destruction, even though it be before us,and that we rush upon it with our eyes open. Certainly, nothingbut some such decreed unavoidable misery, which it was impossiblefor me to escape, could have pushed me forward against the calmreasonings and persuasions of my most retired thoughts, and againsttwo such visible instructions as I had met with in my firstattempt.My comrade, who had helped to harden me before, and who was themaster's son, was now less forward than I. The first time he spoketo me after we were at Yarmouth, which was not till two or threedays, for we were separated in the town to several quarters; I say,the first time he saw me, it appeared his tone was altered; and,looking very melancholy, and shaking his head, he asked me how Idid, and telling his father who I was, and how I had come thisvoyage only for a trial, in order to go further abroad, his father,turning to me with a very grave and concerned tone "Young man,"says he, "you ought never to go to sea any more; you ought to takethis for a plain and visible token that you are not to be aseafaring man." "Why, sir," said I, "will you go to sea no more?""That is another case," said he; "it is my calling, and thereforemy duty; but as you made this voyage on trial, you see what a tasteHeaven has given you of what you are to expect if you persist.Perhaps this has all befallen us on your account, like Jonah in theship of Tarshish. Pray," continues he, "what are you; and on whataccount did you go to sea?" Upon that I told him some of my story;at the end of which he burst out into a strange kind of passion:"What had I done," says he, "that such an unhappy wretch shouldcome into my ship? I would not set my foot in the same ship withthee again for a thousand pounds." This indeed was, as I said, anexcursion of his spirits, which were yet agitated by the sense ofhis loss, and was farther than he could have authority to go.However, he afterwards talked very gravely to me, exhorting me togo back to my father, and not tempt Providence to my ruin, tellingme I might see a visible hand of Heaven against me. "And, youngman," said he, "depend upon it, if you do not go back, wherever yougo, you will meet with nothing but disasters and disappointments,till your father's words are fulfilled upon you."We parted soon after; for I made him little answer, and I saw himno more; which way he went I knew not. As for me, having somemoney in my pocket, I travelled to London by land; and there, aswell as on the road, had many struggles with myself what course oflife I should take, and whether I should go home or to sea.As to going home, shame opposed the best motions that offered to mythoughts, and it immediately occurred to me how I should be laughedat among the neighbours, and should be ashamed to see, not myfather and mother only, but even everybody else; from whence I havesince often observed, how incongruous and irrational the commontemper of mankind is, especially of youth, to that reason whichought to guide them in such cases - viz. that they are not ashamedto sin, and yet are ashamed to repent; not ashamed of the actionfor which they ought justly to be esteemed fools, but are ashamedof the returning, which only can make them be esteemed wise men.In this state of life, however, I remained some time, uncertainwhat measures to take, and what course of life to lead. Anirresistible reluctance continued to going home; and as I stayedaway a while, the remembrance of the distress I had been in woreoff, and as that abated, the little motion I had in my desires toreturn wore off with it, till at last I quite laid aside thethoughts of it, and looked out for a voyage.