Chapter 20

by Herman Melville

　　REAPPEARANCE OF ONE WHO MAY BE REMEMBERED.The herb-doctor had not moved far away, when, in advance of him, thisspectacle met his eye. A dried-up old man, with the stature of a boy oftwelve, was tottering about like one out of his mind, in rumpled clothesof old moleskin, showing recent contact with bedding, his ferret eyes,blinking in the sunlight of the snowy boat, as imbecilely eager, and, atintervals, coughing, he peered hither and thither as if in alarmedsearch for his nurse. He presented the aspect of one who, bed-rid, has,through overruling excitement, like that of a fire, been stimulated tohis feet."You seek some one," said the herb-doctor, accosting him. "Can I assistyou?""Do, do; I am so old and miserable," coughed the old man. "Where is he?This long time I've been trying to get up and find him. But I haven'tany friends, and couldn't get up till now. Where is he?""Who do you mean?" drawing closer, to stay the further wanderings of oneso weakly."Why, why, why," now marking the other's dress, "why you, yes you--you,you--ugh, ugh, ugh!""I?""Ugh, ugh, ugh!--you are the man he spoke of. Who is he?""Faith, that is just what I want to know.""Mercy, mercy!" coughed the old man, bewildered, "ever since seeing him,my head spins round so. I ought to have a guardeean. Is this asnuff-colored surtout of yours, or ain't it? Somehow, can't trust mysenses any more, since trusting him--ugh, ugh, ugh!""Oh, you have trusted somebody? Glad to hear it. Glad to hear of anyinstance, of that sort. Reflects well upon all men. But you inquirewhether this is a snuff-colored surtout. I answer it is; and will addthat a herb-doctor wears it."Upon this the old man, in his broken way, replied that then he (theherb-doctor) was the person he sought--the person spoken of by the otherperson as yet unknown. He then, with flighty eagerness, wanted to knowwho this last person was, and where he was, and whether he could betrusted with money to treble it."Aye, now, I begin to understand; ten to one you mean my worthy friend,who, in pure goodness of heart, makes people's fortunes for them--theireverlasting fortunes, as the phrase goes--only charging his one smallcommission of confidence. Aye, aye; before intrusting funds with myfriend, you want to know about him. Very proper--and, I am glad toassure you, you need have no hesitation; none, none, just none in theworld; bona fide, none. Turned me in a trice a hundred dollars the otherday into as many eagles.""Did he? did he? But where is he? Take me to him.""Pray, take my arm! The boat is large! We may have something of a hunt!Come on! Ah, is that he?""Where? where?""O, no; I took yonder coat-skirts for his. But no, my honest friendwould never turn tail that way. Ah""Where? where?""Another mistake. Surprising resemblance. I took yonder clergyman forhim. Come on!"Having searched that part of the boat without success, they went toanother part, and, while exploring that, the boat sided up to a landing,when, as the two were passing by the open guard, the herb-doctorsuddenly rushed towards the disembarking throng, crying out: "Mr.Truman, Mr. Truman! There he goes--that's he. Mr. Truman, Mr.Truman!--Confound that steam-pipe., Mr. Truman! for God's sake, Mr.TrumanThere, the plank's in--too late--we're off."With that, the huge boat, with a mighty, walrus wallow, rolled away fromthe shore, resuming her course."How vexatious!" exclaimed the herb-doctor, returning. "Had we been butone single moment sooner.--There he goes, now, towards yon hotel, hisportmanteau following. You see him, don't you?""Where? where?""Can't see him any more. Wheel-house shot between. I am very sorry. Ishould have so liked you to have let him have a hundred or so of yourmoney. You would have been pleased with the investment, believe me.""Oh, I have let him have some of my money," groaned the old man."You have? My dear sir," seizing both the miser's hands in both his ownand heartily shaking them. "My dear sir, how I congratulate you. Youdon't know.""Ugh, ugh! I fear I don't," with another groan. "His name is Truman, isit?""John Truman.""Where does he live?""In St. Louis.""Where's his office?""Let me see. Jones street, number one hundred and--no, no--anyway, it'ssomewhere or other up-stairs in Jones street.""Can't you remember the number? Try, now.""One hundred--two hundred--three hundred--""Oh, my hundred dollars! I wonder whether it will be one hundred, twohundred, three hundred, with them! Ugh, ugh! Can't remember the number?""Positively, though I once knew, I have forgotten, quite forgotten it.Strange. But never mind. You will easily learn in St. Louis. He is wellknown there.""But I have no receipt--ugh, ugh! Nothing to show--don't know where Istand--ought to have a guardeean--ugh, ugh! Don't know anything. Ugh,ugh!""Why, you know that you gave him your confidence, don't you?""Oh, yes.""Well, then?""But what, what--how, how--ugh, ugh!""Why, didn't he tell you?""No.""What! Didn't he tell you that it was a secret, a mystery?""Oh--yes.""Well, then?""But I have no bond.""Don't need any with Mr. Truman. Mr. Truman's word is his bond.""But how am I to get my profits--ugh, ugh!--and my money back? Don'tknow anything. Ugh, ugh!""Oh, you must have confidence.""Don't say that word again. Makes my head spin so. Oh, I'm so old andmiserable, nobody caring for me, everybody fleecing me, and my headspins so--ugh, ugh!--and this cough racks me so. I say again, I ought tohave a guardeean.""So you ought; and Mr. Truman is your guardian to the extent youinvested with him. Sorry we missed him just now. But you'll hear fromhim. All right. It's imprudent, though, to expose yourself this way. Letme take you to your berth."Forlornly enough the old miser moved slowly away with him. But, whiledescending a stairway, he was seized with such coughing that he was fainto pause."That is a very bad cough.""Church-yard--ugh, ughUgh!""Have you tried anything for it?""Tired of trying. Nothing does me any good--ugh! ugh! Not even theMammoth Cave. Ugh! ugh! Denned there six months, but coughed so bad therest of the coughers--ugh! ugh!--black-balled me out. Ugh, ugh! Nothingdoes me good.""But have you tried the Omni-Balsamic Reinvigorator, sir?""That's what that Truman--ugh, ugh!--said I ought to take.Yarb-medicine; you are that yarb-doctor, too?""The same. Suppose you try one of my boxes now. Trust me, from what Iknow of Mr. Truman, he is not the gentleman to recommend, even in behalfof a friend, anything of whose excellence he is not conscientiouslysatisfied.""Ugh!--how much?""Only two dollars a box.""Two dollars? Why don't you say two millions? ugh, ugh! Two dollars,that's two hundred cents; that's eight hundred farthings; that's twothousand mills; and all for one little box of yarb-medicine. My head, myhead!--oh, I ought to have a guardeean for; my head. Ugh, ugh, ugh,ugh!""Well, if two dollars a box seems too much, take a dozen boxes at twentydollars; and that will be getting four boxes for nothing, and you needuse none but those four, the rest you can retail out at a premium, andso cure your cough, and make money by it. Come, you had better do it.Cash down. Can fill an order in a day or two. Here now," producing abox; "pure herbs."At that moment, seized with another spasm, the miser snatched eachinterval to fix his half distrustful, half hopeful eye upon themedicine, held alluringly up. "Sure--ugh! Sure it's all nat'ral? Nothingbut yarbs? If I only thought it was a purely nat'ral medicine now--allyarbs--ugh, ughugh, ugh!--shatters mywhole body. Ugh, ugh, ugh!""For heaven's sake try my medicine, if but a single box. That it is purenature you may be confident, Refer you to Mr. Truman.""Don't know his number--ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh! Oh this cough. He did speakwell of this medicine though; said solemnly it would cure me--ugh, ugh,ugh, ugh!--take off a dollar and I'll have a box.""Can't sir, can't.""Say a dollar-and-half. Ugh!""Can't. Am pledged to the one-price system, only honorable one.""Take off a shilling--ugh, ugh!""Can't.""Ugh, ugh, ugh--I'll take it.--There."Grudgingly he handed eight silver coins, but while still in his hand,his cough took him and they were shaken upon the deck.One by one, the herb-doctor picked them up, and, examining them, said:"These are not quarters, these are pistareens; and clipped, and sweated,at that.""Oh don't be so miserly--ugh, ughugh,ugh!""Well, let it go. Anything rather than the idea of your not being curedof such a cough. And I hope, for the credit of humanity, you have notmade it appear worse than it is, merely with a view to working upon theweak point of my pity, and so getting my medicine the cheaper. Now,mind, don't take it till night. Just before retiring is the time. There,you can get along now, can't you? I would attend you further, but I landpresently, and must go hunt up my luggage."