The Self-Made Monkey

by Ambrose Bierce

　　A MAN of humble birth and no breading, who held a high political office, was passing through a forest, when he met a Monkey."I take it you are one of my constituents," the Man said."No," replied the Monkey; "but I will support you if you can urge a valid claim to my approval.""I am a self-made man," said the other, proudly."That is nothing," the Monkey said. And going to a bigger pine, he rose by his own unaided exertions to the top branch, where he sat, all bedaubed with the pitch which that vegetable exudes. "Now," he added, "I am a self-made Monkey."