Chapter XXXV

by William Somerset Maugham

　　I scarcely know how we got through that day. Stroeve couldnot bear to be alone, and I exhausted myself in efforts todistract him. I took him to the Louvre, and he pretended tolook at pictures, but I saw that his thoughts were constantlywith his wife. I forced him to eat, and after luncheon Iinduced him to lie down, but he could not sleep. He acceptedwillingly my invitation to remain for a few days in my apartment.I gave him books to read, but after a page or twohe would put the book down and stare miserably into space.During the evening we played innumerable games of piquet,and bravely, not to disappoint my efforts, he tried to appearinterested. Finally I gave him a draught, and he sank intouneasy slumber.When we went again to the hospital we saw a nursing sister.She told us that Blanche seemed a little better, and she wentin to ask if she would see her husband. We heard voices inthe room in which she lay, and presently the nurse returned tosay that the patient refused to see anyone. We had told herthat if she refused to see Dirk the nurse was to ask if shewould see me, but this she refused also. Dirk's lipstrembled."I dare not insist," said the nurse. "She is too ill.Perhaps in a day or two she may change her mind.""Is there anyone else she wants to see?" asked Dirk,in a voice so low it was almost a whisper."She says she only wants to be left in peace."Dirk's hands moved strangely, as though they had nothing to dowith his body, with a movement of their own."Will you tell her that if there is anyone else she wishes tosee I will bring him? I only want her to be happy."The nurse looked at him with her calm, kind eyes, which hadseen all the horror and pain of the world, and yet, filledwith the vision of a world without sin, remained serene."I will tell her when she is a little calmer."Dirk, filled with compassion, begged her to take the messageat once."It may cure her. I beseech you to ask her now."With a faint smile of pity, the nurse went back into the room.We heard her low voice, and then, in a voice I did notrecognise the answer:"No. No. No."The nurse came out again and shook her head."Was that she who spoke then?" I asked. "Her voice soundedso strange.""It appears that her vocal cords have been burnt by the acid."Dirk gave a low cry of distress. I asked him to go on andwait for me at the entrance, for I wanted to say something tothe nurse. He did not ask what it was, but went silently. Heseemed to have lost all power of will; he was like an obedient child."Has she told you why she did it?" I asked."No. She won't speak. She lies on her back quite quietly.She doesn't move for hours at a time. But she cries always.Her pillow is all wet. She's too weak to use a handkerchief,and the tears just run down her face."It gave me a sudden wrench of the heart-strings. I could havekilled Strickland then, and I knew that my voice was tremblingwhen I bade the nurse goodbye.I found Dirk waiting for me on the steps. He seemed to seenothing, and did not notice that I had joined him till Itouched him on the arm. We walked along in silence. I triedto imagine what had happened to drive the poor creature tothat dreadful step. I presumed that Strickland knew what hadhappened, for someone must have been to see him from the police,and he must have made his statement. I did not knowwhere he was. I supposed he had gone back to the shabby atticwhich served him as a studio. It was curious that she shouldnot wish to see him. Perhaps she refused to have him sent forbecause she knew he would refuse to come. I wondered what anabyss of cruelty she must have looked into that in horror sherefused to live.