Chapter XXXVII

by William Somerset Maugham

　　The circumstances of Blanche Stroeve's death necessitated allmanner of dreadful formalities, but at last we were allowed tobury her. Dirk and I alone followed the hearse to the cemetery.We went at a foot-pace, but on the way back we trotted,and there was something to my mind singularly horrible inthe way the driver of the hearse whipped up his horses.It seemed to dismiss the dead with a shrug of the shoulders.Now and then I caught sight of the swaying hearse infront of us, and our own driver urged his pair so that wemight not remain behind. I felt in myself, too, the desire toget the whole thing out of my mind. I was beginning to bebored with a tragedy that did not really concern me, andpretending to myself that I spoke in order to distractStroeve, I turned with relief to other subjects."Don't you think you'd better go away for a bit?" I said."There can be no object in your staying in Paris now."He did not answer, but I went on ruthlessly:"Have you made any plans for the immediate future?""No.""You must try and gather together the threads again.Why don't you go down to Italy and start working?"Again he made no reply, but the driver of our carriage came tomy rescue. Slackening his pace for a moment, he leaned overand spoke. I could not hear what he said, so I put my headout of the window. he wanted to know where we wished to beset down. I told him to wait a minute."You'd better come and have lunch with me," I said to Dirk."I'll tell him to drop us in the Place Pigalle.""I'd rather not. I want to go to the studio."I hesitated a moment."Would you like me to come with you?" I asked then."No; I should prefer to be alone.""All right."I gave the driver the necessary direction, and in renewedsilence we drove on. Dirk had not been to the studio sincethe wretched morning on which they had taken Blanche to the hospital.I was glad he did not want me to accompany him, and whenI left him at the door I walked away with relief. I tooka new pleasure in the streets of Paris, and I looked withsmiling eyes at the people who hurried to and fro. The daywas fine and sunny, and I felt in myself a more acute delightin life. I could not help it; I put Stroeve and his sorrowsout of my mind. I wanted to enjoy.