The O'Conors of Castle Conor

by Anthony Trollope

　　I shall never forget my first introduction to country life inIreland, my first day's hunting there, or the manner in which Ipassed the evening afterwards. Nor shall I ever cease to be gratefulfor the hospitality which I received from the O'Conors of CastleConor. My acquaintance with the family was first made in thefollowing manner. But before I begin my story, let me inform myreader that my name is Archibald Green.I had been for a fortnight in Dublin, and was about to proceed intocounty Mayo on business which would occupy me there for some weeks.My head-quarters would, I found, be at the town of Ballyglass; and Isoon learned that Ballyglass was not a place in which I should findhotel accommodation of a luxurious kind, or much congenial societyindigenous to the place itself."But you are a hunting man, you say," said old Sir P- C-; "and inthat case you will soon know Tom O'Conor. Tom won't let you be dull.I'd write you a letter to Tom, only he'll certainly make you outwithout my taking the trouble."I did think at the time that the old baronet might have written theletter for me, as he had been a friend of my father's in former days;but he did not, and I started for Ballyglass with no otherintroduction to any one in the county than that contained in Sir P-'spromise that I should soon know Mr. Thomas O'Conor.I had already provided myself with a horse, groom, saddle and bridle,and these I sent down, en avant, that the Ballyglassians might knowthat I was somebody. Perhaps, before I arrived Tom O'Conor mightlearn that a hunting man was coming into the neighbourhood, and Imight find at the inn a polite note intimating that a bed was at myservice at Castle Conor. I had heard so much of the free hospitalityof the Irish gentry as to imagine that such a thing might bepossible.But I found nothing of the kind. Hunting gentlemen in those dayswere very common in county Mayo, and one horse was no great evidenceof a man's standing in the world. Men there as I learnt afterwards,are sought for themselves quite as much as they are elsewhere; andthough my groom's top-boots were neat, and my horse a very tidyanimal, my entry into Ballyglass created no sensation whatever.In about four days after my arrival, when I was already infinitelydisgusted with the little Pot-house in which I was forced to stay,and had made up my mind that the people in county Mayo were achurlish set, I sent my horse on to a meet of the fox-hounds, andfollowed after myself on an open car.No one but an erratic fox-hunter such as I am,--a fox-hunter, I mean,whose lot it has been to wander about from one pack of hounds toanother,--can understand the melancholy feeling which a man has whenhe first intrudes himself, unknown by any one, among an entirely newset of sportsmen. When a stranger falls thus as it were out of themoon into a hunt, it is impossible that men should not stare at himand ask who he is. And it is so disagreeable to be stared at, and tohave such questions asked! This feeling does not come upon a man inLeicestershire or Gloucestershire where the numbers are large, and astranger or two will always be overlooked, but in small huntingfields it is so painful that a man has to pluck up much couragebefore he encounters it.We met on the morning in question at Bingham's Grove. There were notabove twelve or fifteen men out, all of whom, or nearly all werecousins to each other. They seemed to be all Toms, and Pats, andLarrys, and Micks. I was done up very knowingly in pink, and thoughtthat I looked quite the thing, but for two or three hours nobodynoticed me.I had my eyes about me, however, and soon found out which of them wasTom O'Conor. He was a fine-looking fellow, thin and tall, but notlargely made, with a piercing gray eye, and a beautiful voice forspeaking to a hound. He had two sons there also, short, slightfellows, but exquisite horsemen. I already felt that I had a kind ofacquaintance with the father, but I hardly knew on what ground to putin my claim.We had no sport early in the morning. It was a cold bleak Februaryday, with occasional storms of sleet. We rode from cover to cover,but all in vain. "I am sorry, sir, that we are to have such a badday, as you are a stranger here," said one gentleman to me. This wasJack O'Conor, Tom's eldest son, my bosom friend for many a yearafter. Poor Jack! I fear that the Encumbered Estates Court sent himaltogether adrift upon the world."We may still have a run from Poulnaroe, if the gentleman chooses tocome on," said a voice coming from behind with a sharp trot. It wasTom O'Conor."Wherever the hounds go, I'll follow," said I."Then come on to Poulnaroe," said Mr. O'Conor. I trotted on quicklyby his side, and before we reached the cover had managed to slip insomething about Sir P. C."What the deuce!" said he. "What! a friend of Sir P-'s? Why thedeuce didn't you tell me so? What are you doing down here? Whereare you staying?" &c. &c. &c.At Poulnaroe we found a fox, but before we did so Mr. O' Conor hadasked me over to Castle Conor. And this he did in such a way thatthere was no possibility of refusing him--or, I should rather say, ofdisobeying him. For his invitation came quite in the tone of acommand."You'll come to us of course when the day is over--and let me see;we're near Ballyglass now, but the run will be right away in ourdirection. Just send word for them to send your things to CastleConor.""But they're all about, and unpacked," said I."Never mind. Write a note and say what you want now, and go and getthe rest to-morrow yourself. Here, Patsey!--Patsey! run intoBallyglass for this gentleman at once. Now don't be long, for thechances are we shall find here." And then, after giving some furtherhurried instructions he left me to write a line in pencil to theinnkeeper's wife on the back of a ditch.This I accordingly did. "Send my small portmanteau," I said, "andall my black dress clothes, and shirts, and socks, and all that, andabove all my dressing things which are on the little table, and thesatin neck-handkerchief, and whatever you do, mind you send myPUMPS;" and I underscored the latter word; for Jack O'Conor, when hisfather left me, went on pressing the invitation. "My sisters aregoing to get up a dance," said he; "and if you are fond of that kindof things perhaps we can amuse you." Now in those days I was veryfond of dancing--and very fond of young ladies too, and thereforeglad enough to learn that Tom O'Conor had daughters as well as sons.On this account I was very particular in underscoring the word pumps."And hurry, you young divil," Jack O'Conor said to Patsey."I have told him to take the portmanteau over on a car," said I."All right; then you'll find it there on our arrival."We had an excellent run, in which I may make bold to say that I didnot acquit myself badly. I stuck very close to the hounds, as didthe whole of the O'Conor brood; and when the fellow contrived toearth himself, as he did, I received those compliments on my horse,which is the most approved praise which one fox-hunter ever gives toanother."We'll buy that fellow of you before we let you go," said Peter, theyoungest son."I advise you to look sharp after your money if you sell him to mybrother," said Jack.And then we trotted slowly off to Castle Conor, which, however, wasby no means near to us. "We have ten miles to go;--good Irishmiles," said the father. "I don't know that I ever remember a foxfrom Poulnaroe taking that line before.""He wasn't a Poulnaroe fox," said Peter."I don't know that;" said Jack; and then they debated that questionhotly.Our horses were very tired, and it was late before we reached Mr.O'Conor's house. That getting home from hunting with a thoroughlyweary animal, who has no longer sympathy or example to carry him on,is very tedious work. In the present instance I had company with me;but when a man is alone, when his horse toes at every ten steps, whenthe night is dark and the rain pouring, and there are yet eight milesof road to be conquered,--at such time a man is almost apt to swearthat he will give up hunting.At last we were in the Castle Conor stable yard;--for we hadapproached the house by some back way; and as we entered the house bya door leading through a wilderness of back passages, Mr. O'Conorsaid out loud, "Now, boys, remember I sit down to dinner in twentyminutes." And then turning expressly to me, he laid his hand kindlyupon my shoulder and said, "I hope you will make yourself quite athome at Castle Conor, and whatever you do, don't keep us waiting fordinner. You can dress in twenty minutes, I suppose?""In ten!" said I, glibly."That's well. Jack and Peter will show you your room," and so heturned away and left us.My two young friends made their way into the great hall, and thenceinto the drawing-room, and I followed them. We were all dressed inpink, and had waded deep through bog and mud. I did not exactly knowwhither I was being led in this guise, but I soon found myself in thepresence of two young ladies, and of a girl about thirteen years ofage."My sisters," said Jack, introducing me very laconically; "MissO'Conor, Miss Kate O'Conor, Miss Tizzy O'Conor.""My name is not Tizzy," said the younger; "it's Eliza. How do youdo, sir? I hope you had a fine hunt! Was papa well up, Jack?"Jack did not condescend to answer this question, but asked one of theelder girls whether anything had come, and whether a room had beenmade ready for me."Oh yes!" said Miss O'Conor; "they came, I know, for I saw thembrought into the house; and I hope Mr. Green will find everythingcomfortable." As she said this I thought I saw a slight smile stealacross her remarkably pretty mouth.They were both exceedingly pretty girls. Fanny the elder wore longglossy curls,--for I write, oh reader, of bygone days, as long ago asthat, when ladies wore curls if it pleased them so to do, andgentlemen danced in pumps, with black handkerchiefs round theirnecks,--yes, long black, or nearly black silken curls; and then shehad such eyes;--I never knew whether they were most wicked or mostbright; and her face was all dimples, and each dimple was laden withlaughter and laden with love. Kate was probably the prettier girl ofthe two, but on the whole not so attractive. She was fairer than hersister, and wore her hair in braids; and was also somewhat moredemure in her manner.In spite of the special injunctions of Mr. O'Conor senior, it wasimpossible not to loiter for five minutes over the drawing-room firetalking to these houris--more especially as I seemed to know themintimately by intuition before half of the five minutes was over.They were so easy, so pretty, so graceful, so kind, they seemed totake it so much as a matter of course that I should stand theretalking in my red coat and muddy boots."Well; do go and dress yourselves," at last said Fanny, pretending tospeak to her brothers but looking more especially a me. "You knowhow mad papa will be. And remember Mr. Green, we expect great thingsfrom your dancing to-night. Your coming just at this time is such aGodsend." And again that soupon of a smile passed over her face.I hurried up to my room, Peter and Jack coming with me to the door."Is everything right?" said Peter, looking among the towels andwater-jugs. "They've given you a decent fire for a wonder," saidJack, stirring up the red hot turf which blazed in the grate. "Allright as a trivet," said I. "And look alive like a good fellow,"said Jack. We had scowled at each other in the morning as very youngmen do when they are strangers; and now, after a few hours, we wereintimate friends.I immediately turned to my work, and was gratified to find that allmy things were laid out ready for dressing; my portmanteau had ofcourse come open, as my keys were in my pocket, and therefore some ofthe excellent servants of the house had been able to save me all thetrouble of unpacking. There was my shirt hanging before the fire; myblack clothes were spread upon the bed, my socks and collar andhandkerchief beside them; my brushes were on the toilet table, andeverything prepared exactly as though my own man had been there. Hownice!I immediately went to work at getting off my spurs and boots, andthen proceeded to loosen the buttons at my knees. In doing this Isat down in the arm-chair which had been drawn up for me, oppositethe fire. But what was the object on which my eyes then fell;--theobjects I should rather say!Immediately in front of my chair was placed, just ready for may feet,an enormous pair of shooting-boots--half-boots made to lace up roundthe ankles, with thick double leather soles, and each bearing half astone of iron in the shape of nails and heel-pieces. I hadsuperintended the making of these shoes in Burlington Arcade with thegreatest diligence. I was never a good shot; and, like some othersportsmen, intended to make up for my deficiency in performance bythe excellence of my shooting apparel. "Those nails are not largeenough," I had said; "nor nearly large enough." But when the bootscame home they struck even me as being too heavy, too metalsome."He, he, he," laughed the boot boy as he turned them up for me tolook at. It may therefore be imagined of what nature were thearticles which were thus set out for the evening's dancing.And then the way in which they were placed! When I saw this theconviction flew across my mind like a flash of lightning that thepreparation had been made under other eyes than those of the servant.The heavy big boots were placed so prettily before the chair, and thestrings of each were made to dangle down at the sides, as though justready for tying! They seemed to say, the boots did, "Now, makehaste. We at any rate are ready--you cannot say that you were keptwaiting for us." No mere servant's hand had ever enabled a pair ofboots to laugh at one so completely.But what was I to do? I rushed at the small portmanteau, thinkingthat my pumps also might be there. The woman surely could not havebeen such a fool as to send me those tons of iron for my eveningwear! But, alas, alas! no pumps were there. There was nothing elsein the way of covering for my feet; not even a pair of slippers.And now what was I to do? The absolute magnitude of my misfortuneonly loomed upon me by degrees. The twenty minutes allowed by thatstern old paterfamilias were already gone and I had done nothingtowards dressing. And indeed it was impossible that I should doanything that would be of avail. I could not go down to dinner in mystocking feet, nor could I put on my black dress trousers, over apair of mud-painted top-boots. As for those iron-soled horrors--;and then I gave one of them a kick with the side of my bare footwhich sent it half way under the bed.But what was I to do? I began washing myself and brushing my hairwith this horrid weight upon my mind. My first plan was to go tobed, and send down word that I had been taken suddenly ill in thestomach; then to rise early in the morning and get away unobserved.But by such a course of action I should lose all chance of anyfurther acquaintance with those pretty girls! That they were alreadyaware of the extent of my predicament, and were now enjoying it--ofthat I was quite sure.What if I boldly put on the shooting-boots, and clattered down todinner in them? What if I took the bull by the horns, and made,myself, the most of the joke? This might be very well for thedinner, but it would be a bad joke for me when the hour for dancingcame. And, alas! I felt that I lacked the courage. It is not everyman that can walk down to dinner, in a strange house full of ladies,wearing such boots as those I have described.Should I not attempt to borrow a pair? This, all the world will say,should have been my first idea. But I have not yet mentioned that Iam myself a large-boned man, and that my feet are especially welldeveloped. I had never for a moment entertained a hope that I shouldfind any one in that house whose boot I could wear. But at last Irang the bell. I would send for Jack, and if everything failed, Iwould communicate my grief to him.I had to ring twice before anybody came. The servants, I well knew,were putting the dinner on the table. At last a man entered theroom, dressed in rather shabby black, whom I afterwards learned to bethe butler."What is your name, my friend?" said I, determined to make an ally ofthe man."My name? Why Larry sure, yer honer. And the masther is out of hissinses in a hurry, becase yer honer don't come down.""Is he though? Well now, Larry; tell me this; which of all thegentlemen in the house has got the largest foot?""Is it the largest foot, yer honer?" said Larry, altogether surprisedby my question."Yes; the largest foot," and then I proceeded to explain to him mymisfortune. He took up first my top-boot, and then the shooting-boot--in looking at which he gazed with wonder at the nails;--andthen he glanced at my feet, measuring them with his eye; and afterthis he pronounced his opinion."Yer honer couldn't wear a morsel of leather belonging to ere a oneof 'em, young or ould. There niver was a foot like that yet amongthe O'Conors.""But are there no strangers staying here?""There's three or four on 'em come in to dinner; but they'll bewanting their own boots I'm thinking. And there's young MistherDillon; he's come to stay. But Lord love you--" and he again lookedat the enormous extent which lay between the heel and the toe of theshooting apparatus which he still held in his hand. "I niver seesuch a foot as that in the whole barony," he said, "barring my own."Now Larry was a large man, much larger altogether than myself, and ashe said this I looked down involuntarily at his feet; or rather athis foot, for as he stood I could only see one. And then a suddenhope filled my heart. On that foot there glittered a shoe--notindeed such as were my own which were now resting ingloriously atBallyglass while they were so sorely needed at Castle Conor; but onewhich I could wear before ladies, without shame--and in my presentframe of mind with infinite contentment."Let me look at that one of your own," said I to the man, as thoughit were merely a subject for experimental inquiry. Larry, accustomedto obedience, took off the shoe and handed it to me.My own foot was immediately in it, and I found that it fitted me likea glove."And now the other," said I--not smiling, for a smile would have puthim on his guard; but somewhat sternly, so that that habit ofobedience should not desert him at this perilous moment. And then Istretched out my hand."But yer honer can't keep 'em, you know," said he. "I haven't theghost of another shoe to my feet." But I only looked more sternlythan before, and still held out my hand. Custom prevailed. Larrystooped down slowly, looking at me the while, and pulling off theother slipper handed it to me with much hesitation. Alas! as I putit to my foot I found that it was old, and worn, and irredeemablydown at heel;--that it was in fact no counterpart at all to thatother one which was to do duty as its fellow. But nevertheless I putmy foot into it, and felt that a descent to the drawing-room was nowpossible."But yer honer will give 'em back to a poor man?" said Larry almostcrying. "The masther's mad this minute becase the dinner's not up.Glory to God, only listhen to that!" And as he spoke a tremendouspeal rang out from some bell down stairs that had evidently beenshaken by an angry hand."Larry," said I--and I endeavoured to assume a look of very graveimportance as I spoke--"I look to you to assist me in this matter.""Och--wirra sthrue then, and will you let me go? just listhen tothat," and another angry peal rang out, loud and repeated."If you do as I ask you," I continued, "you shall be well rewarded.Look here; look at these boots," and I held up the shooting-shoes newfrom Burlington Arcade. "They cost thirty shillings--thirtyshillings! and I will give them to you for the loan of this pair ofslippers.""They'd be no use at all to me, yer honer; not the laist use inlife.""You could do with them very well for to-night, and then you couldsell them. And here are ten shillings besides," and I held out halfa sovereign which the poor fellow took into his hand.I waited no further parley but immediately walked out of the room.With one foot I was sufficiently pleased. As regarded that I feltthat I had overcome my difficulty. But the other was not sosatisfactory. Whenever I attempted to lift it from the ground thehorrid slipper would fall off, or only just hang by the toe. As fordancing, that would be out of the question."Och, murther, murther," sang out Larry, as he heard me going downstairs. "What will I do at all? Tare and 'ounds; there, he's at itagin, as mad as blazes." This last exclamation had reference toanother peal which was evidently the work of the master's hand.I confess I was not quite comfortable as I walked down stairs. Inthe first place I was nearly half an hour late, and I knew from thevigour of the peals that had sounded that my slowness had alreadybeen made the subject of strong remarks. And then my left shoe wentflop, flop, on every alternate step of the stairs. By no exertion ofmy foot in the drawing up of my toe could I induce it to remainpermanently fixed upon my foot. But over and above and worse thanall this was the conviction strong upon my mind that I should becomea subject of merriment to the girls as soon as I entered the room.They would understand the cause of my distress, and probably at thismoment were expecting to hear me clatter through the stone hall withthose odious metal boots.However, I hurried down and entered the drawing-room, determined tokeep my position near the door, so that I might have as little aspossible to do on entering and as little as possible in going out.But I had other difficulties in store for me. I had not as yet beenintroduced to Mrs. O'Conor; nor to Miss O'Conor, the squire'sunmarried sister."Upon my word I thought you were never coming," said Mr. O'Conor assoon as he saw me. "It is just one hour since we entered the house.Jack, I wish you would find out what has come to that fellow Larry,"and again he rang the bell. He was too angry, or it might be tooimpatient to go through the ceremony of introducing me to anybody.I saw that the two girls looked at me very sharply, but I stood atthe back of an arm-chair so that no one could see my feet. But thatlittle imp Tizzy walked round deliberately, looked at my heels, andthen walked back again. It was clear that she was in the secret.There were eight or ten people in the room, but I was too muchfluttered to notice well who they were."Mamma," said Miss O'Conor, "let me introduce Mr. Green to you."It luckily happened that Mrs. O'Conor was on the same side of thefire as myself, and I was able to take the hand which she offered mewithout coming round into the middle of the circle. Mrs. O'Conor wasa little woman, apparently not of much importance in the world, but,if one might judge from first appearance, very good-natured."And my aunt Die, Mr. Green," said Kate, pointing to a very straight-backed, grim-looking lady, who occupied a corner of a sofa, on theopposite side of the hearth. I knew that politeness required that Ishould walk across the room and make acquaintance with her. Butunder the existing circumstances how was I to obey the dictates ofpoliteness? I was determined therefore to stand my ground, andmerely bowed across the room at Miss O'Conor. In so doing I made anenemy who never deserted me during the whole of my intercourse withthe family. But for her, who knows who might have been sittingopposite to me as I now write?"Upon my word, Mr. Green, the ladies will expect much from an Adoniswho takes so long over his toilet," said Tom O'Conor in that crueltone of banter which he knew so well how to use."You forget, father, that men in London can't jump in and out oftheir clothes as quick as we wild Irishmen," said Jack."Mr. Green knows that we expect a great deal from him this evening.I hope you polk well, Mr. Green," said Kate.I muttered something about never dancing, but I knew that that whichI said was inaudible."I don't think Mr. Green will dance," said Tizzy; "at least notmuch." The impudence of that child was, I think, unparalleled by anythat I have ever witnessed."But in the name of all that's holy, why don't we have dinner?" AndMr. O'Conor thundered at the door. "Larry, Larry, Larry!" hescreamed."Yes, yer honer, it'll be all right in two seconds," answered Larry,from some bottomless abyss. "Tare an' ages; what'll I do at all," Iheard him continuing, as he made his way into the hall. Oh what aclatter he made upon the pavement,--for it was all stone! And howthe drops of perspiration stood upon my brow as I listened to him!And then there was a pause, for the man had gone into the dining-room. I could see now that Mr. O'Conor was becoming very angry, andJack the eldest son--oh, how often he and I have laughed over allthis since--left the drawing-room for the second time. Immediatelyafterwards Larry's footsteps were again heard, hurrying across thehall, and then there was a great slither, and an exclamation, and thenoise of a fall--and I could plainly hear poor Larry's head strikeagainst the stone floor."Ochone, ochone!" he cried at the top of his voice--"I'm murtheredwith 'em now intirely; and d-- 'em for boots--St. Peter be good tome."There was a general rush into the hall, and I was carried with thestream. The poor fellow who had broken his head would be sure totell how I had robbed him of his shoes. The coachman was alreadyhelping him up, and Peter good-naturedly lent a hand."What on earth is the matter?" said Mr. O'Conor."He must be tipsy," whispered Miss O'Conor, the maiden sister."I aint tipsy at all thin," said Larry, getting up and rubbing theback of his head, and sundry other parts of his body. "Tipsyindeed!" And then he added when he was quite upright, "The dinner issarved--at last."And he bore it all without telling! "I'll give that fellow a guineato-morrow morning," said I to myself--"if it's the last that I havein the world."I shall never forget the countenance of the Miss O'Conors as Larryscrambled up cursing the unfortunate boots--"What on earth has he goton?" said Mr. O'Conor."Sorrow take 'em for shoes," ejaculated Larry. But his spirit wasgood and he said not a word to betray me.We all then went in to dinner how we best could. It was useless forus to go back into the drawing-room, that each might seek his ownpartner. Mr. O'Conor "the masther," not caring much for the girlswho were around him, and being already half beside himself with theconfusion and delay, led the way by himself. I as a stranger shouldhave given my arm to Mrs. O'Conor; but as it was I took her eldestdaughter instead, and contrived to shuffle along into the dining-roomwithout exciting much attention, and when there I found myselfhappily placed between Kate and Fanny."I never knew anything so awkward," said Fanny; "I declare I can'tconceive what has come to our old servant Larry. He's generally themost precise person in the world, and now he is nearly an hour late--and then he tumbles down in the hall.""I am afraid I am responsible for the delay," said I."But not for the tumble I suppose," said Kate from the other side. Ifelt that I blushed up to the eyes, but I did not dare to enter intoexplanations."Tom," said Tizzy, addressing her father across the table, "I hopeyou had a good run to-day." It did seem odd to me that young ladyshould call her father Tom, but such was the fact."Well; pretty well," said Mr. O'Conor."And I hope you were up with the hounds.""You may ask Mr. Green that. He at any rate was with them, andtherefore he can tell you.""Oh, he wasn't before you, I know. No Englishman could get beforeyou;--I am quite sure of that.""Don't you be impertinent, miss," said Kate. "You can easily see,Mr. Green, that papa spoils my sister Eliza.""Do you hunt in top-boots, Mr. Green?" said Tizzy.To this I made no answer. She would have drawn me into aconversation about my feet in half a minute, and the slightestallusion to the subject threw me into a fit of perspiration."Are you fond of hunting, Miss O'Conor?" asked I, blindly hurryinginto any other subject of conversation.Miss O'Conor owned that she was fond of hunting--just a little; onlypapa would not allow it. When the hounds met anywhere within reachof Castle Conor, she and Kate would ride out to look at them; and ifpapa was not there that day,--an omission of rare occurrence,--theywould ride a few fields with the hounds."But he lets Tizzy keep with them the whole day," said she,whispering."And has Tizzy a pony of her own?""Oh yes, Tizzy has everything. She's papa's pet, you know.""And whose pet are you?" I asked."Oh--I am nobody's pet, unless sometimes Jack makes a pet of me whenhe's in a good humour. Do you make pets of your sisters, Mr. Green?""I have none. But if I had I should not make pets of them.""Not of your own sisters?""No. As for myself, I'd sooner make a pet of my friend's sister; agreat deal.""How very unnatural," said Miss O'Conor, with the prettiest look ofsurprise imaginable."Not at all unnatural I think," said I, looking tenderly and lovinglyinto her face. Where does one find girls so pretty, so easy, sosweet, so talkative as the Irish girls? And then with all theirtalking and all their ease who ever hears of their misbehaving? Theycertainly love flirting, as they also love dancing. But they flirtwithout mischief and without malice.I had now quite forgotten my misfortune, and was beginning to thinkhow well I should like to have Fanny O'Conor for my wife. In thisframe of mind I was bending over towards her as a servant took away aplate from the other side, when a sepulchral note sounded in my ear.It was like the memento mori of the old Roman;--as though some onepointed in the midst of my bliss to the sword hung over my head by athread. It was the voice of Larry, whispering in his agony justabove my head -"They's disthroying my poor feet intirely, intirely; so they is! Ican't bear it much longer, yer honer." I had committed murder likeMacbeth; and now my Banquo had come to disturb me at my feast."What is it he says to you?" asked Fanny."Oh nothing," I answered, once more in my misery."There seems to be some point of confidence between you and ourLarry," she remarked."Oh no," said I, quite confused; "not at all.""You need not be ashamed of it. Half the gentlemen in the countyhave their confidences with Larry;--and some of the ladies too, I cantell you. He was born in this house, and never lived anywhere else;and I am sure he has a larger circle of acquaintance than any oneelse in it."I could not recover my self-possession for the next ten minutes.Whenever Larry was on our side of the table I was afraid he wascoming to me with another agonised whisper. When he was opposite, Icould not but watch him as he hobbled in his misery. It was evidentthat the boots were too tight for him, and had they been madethroughout of iron they could not have been less capable of yieldingto the feet. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart. And I pitiedmyself also, wishing that I was well in bed upstairs with somefeigned malady, so that Larry might have had his own again.And then for a moment I missed him from the room. He had doubtlessgone to relieve his tortured feet in the servants' hall, and as hedid so was cursing my cruelty. But what mattered it? Let him curse.If he would only stay away and do that, I would appease his wrathwhen we were alone together with pecuniary satisfaction.But there was no such rest in store for me. "Larry, Larry," shoutedMr. O'Conor, "where on earth has the fellow gone to?" They were allcousins at the table except myself, and Mr. O'Conor was not thereforerestrained by any feeling of ceremony. "There is something wrongwith that fellow to-day; what is it, Jack?""Upon my word, sir, I don't know," said Jack."I think he must be tipsy," whispered Miss O'Conor, the maidensister, who always sat at her brother's left hand. But a whisperthough it was, it was audible all down the table."No, ma'am; it aint dhrink at all," said the coachman. "It is hisfeet as does it.""His feet!" shouted Tom O'Conor."Yes; I know it's his feet," said that horrid Tizzy. "He's got ongreat thick nailed shoes. It was that that made him tumble down inthe hall."I glanced at each side of me, and could see that there was a certainconsciousness expressed in the face of each of my two neighbours;--onKate's mouth there was decidedly a smile, or rather, perhaps, theslightest possible inclination that way; whereas on Fanny's part Ithought I saw something like a rising sorrow at my distress. So atleast I flattered myself."Send him back into the room immediately," said Tom, who looked at meas though he had some consciousness that I had introduced all thisconfusion into his household. What should I do? Would it not bebest for me to make clean breast of it before them all? But alas! Ilacked the courage.The coachman went out, and we were left for five minutes without anyservant, and Mr. O'Conor the while became more and more savage. Iattempted to say a word to Fanny, but failed. Vox faucibus haesit."I don't think he has got any others," said Tizzy--"at least noneothers left."On the whole I am glad I did not marry into the family, as I couldnot have endured that girl to stay in my house as a sister-in-law."Where the d-- has that other fellow gone to?" said Tom. "Jack, dogo out and see what is the matter. If anybody is drunk send for me.""Oh, there is nobody drunk," said Tizzy.Jack went out, and the coachman returned; but what was done and saidI hardly remember. The whole room seemed to swim round and round,and as far as I can recollect the company sat mute, neither eatingnor drinking. Presently Jack returned."It's all right," said he. I always liked Jack. At the presentmoment he just looked towards me and laughed slightly."All right?" said Tom. "But is the fellow coming?""We can do with Richard, I suppose," said Jack."No--I can't do with Richard," said the father. "And will know whatit all means. Where is that fellow Larry?"Larry had been standing just outside the door, and now he enteredgently as a mouse. No sound came from his footfall, nor was there inhis face that look of pain which it had worn for the last fifteenminutes. But he was not the less abashed, frightened and unhappy."What is all this about, Larry?" said his master, turning to him. "Iinsist upon knowing.""Och thin, Mr. Green, yer honer, I wouldn't be afther telling aginyer honer; indeed I wouldn't thin, av' the masther would only let mehould my tongue." And he looked across at me, deprecating my anger."Mr. Green!" said Mr. O'Conor."Yes, yer honer. It's all along of his honer's thick shoes;" andLarry, stepping backwards towards the door, lifted them up from somecorner, and coming well forward, exposed them with the solesuppermost to the whole table."And that's not all, yer honer; but they've squoze the very toes ofme into a jelly."There was now a loud laugh, in which Jack and Peter and Fanny andKate and Tizzy all joined; as too did Mr. O'Conor--and I also myselfafter a while."Whose boots are they?" demanded Miss O'Conor senior, with herseverest tone and grimmest accent."'Deed then and the divil may have them for me, Miss," answeredLarry. "They war Mr. Green's, but the likes of him won't wear themagin afther the likes of me--barring he wanted them very particular,"added he, remembering his own pumps.I began muttering something, feeling that the time had come when Imust tell the tale. But Jack with great good nature, took up thestory and told it so well, that I hardly suffered in the telling."And that's it," said Tom O'Conor, laughing till I thought he wouldhave fallen from his chair. "So you've got Larry's shoes on--""And very well he fills them," said Jack."And it's his honer that's welcome to 'em," said Larry, grinning fromear to ear now that he saw that "the masther" was once more in a goodhumour."I hope they'll be nice shoes for dancing," said Kate."Only there's one down at the heel I know," said Tizzy."The servant's shoes!" This was an exclamation made by the maidenlady, and intended apparently only for her brother's ear. But it wasclearly audible by all the party."Better that than no dinner," said Peter."But what are you to do about the dancing?" said Fanny, with an airof dismay on her face which flattered me with an idea that she didcare whether I danced or no.In the mean time Larry, now as happy as an emperor, was trippinground the room without any shoes to encumber him as he withdrew theplates from the table."And it's his honer that's welcome to 'em," said he again, as hepulled off the table-cloth with a flourish. "And why wouldn't he,and he able to folly the hounds betther nor any Englishman that iverwar in these parts before,--anyways so Mick says!"Now Mick was the huntsman, and this little tale of eulogy from Larrywent far towards easing my grief. I had ridden well to the houndsthat day, and I knew it.There was nothing more said about the shoes, and I was soon again atmy ease, although Miss O'Conor did say something about theimpropriety of Larry walking about in his stocking feet. The ladieshowever soon withdrew,--to my sorrow, for I was getting on swimminglywith Fanny; and then we gentlemen gathered round the fire and filledour glasses.In about ten minutes a very light tap was heard, the door was openedto the extent of three inches, and a female voice which I readilyrecognised called to Jack.Jack went out, and in a second or two put his head back into the roomand called to me--"Green," he said, "just step here moment, there's agood fellow." I went out, and there I found Fanny standing with herbrother."Here are the girls at their wits' ends," said he, "about yourdancing. So Fanny has put a boy upon one of the horse and proposesthat you should send another line to Mrs. Meehan at Ballyglass. It'sonly ten miles, and he'll be back in two hours."I need hardly say that I acted in conformity with this advice, I wentinto Mr. O'Conor's book room, with Jack and his sister, and therescribbled a note. I was delightful to feel how intimate I was withthem, and how anxious they were to make me happy."And we won't begin till they come," said Fanny."Oh, Miss O'Conor, pray don't wait," said I."Oh, but we will," she answered. "You have your wine to drink, andthen there's the tea; and then we'll have a song two. I'll spin itout; see if I don't." And so we went to the front door where the boywas already on his horse--her own nag as I afterwards found."And Patsey," said she, "ride for your life; and Patsey, whatever youdo, don't come back without Mr. Green's pumps--his dancing-shoes youknow."And in about two hours the pumps did arrive; and I don't think I everspent a pleasanter evening or got more satisfaction out of a pair ofshoes. They had not been two minutes on my feet before Larry wascarrying a tray of negus across the room in those which I had worn atdinner."The Dillon girls are going to stay here," said Fanny as I wished hergood night at two o'clock. "And we'll have dancing every evening aslong as you remain.""But I shall leave to-morrow," said I."Indeed you won't. Papa will take care of that."And so he did. "You had better go over to Ballyglass yourself to-morrow," said he, "and collect your own things. There's no knowingelse what you may have to borrow of Larry."I stayed there three weeks, and in the middle of the third I thoughtthat everything would be arranged between me and Fanny. But the auntinterfered; and in about a twelvemonth after my adventures sheconsented to make a more fortunate man happy for his life.

　　THE END.* * * * * * * * * * * *