Chapter XV. Tom as King.

by Mark Twain

　　The next day the foreign ambassadors came, with their gorgeoustrains; and Tom, throned in awful state, received them. Thesplendours of the scene delighted his eye and fired hisimagination at first, but the audience was long and dreary, and sowere most of the addresses--wherefore, what began as a pleasuregrew into weariness and home-sickness by-and-by. Tom said thewords which Hertford put into his mouth from time to time, andtried hard to acquit himself satisfactorily, but he was too new tosuch things, and too ill at ease to accomplish more than atolerable success. He looked sufficiently like a king, but he wasill able to feel like one. He was cordially glad when theceremony was ended.The larger part of his day was 'wasted'--as he termed it, in hisown mind--in labours pertaining to his royal office. Even the twohours devoted to certain princely pastimes and recreations wererather a burden to him than otherwise, they were so fettered byrestrictions and ceremonious observances. However, he had aprivate hour with his whipping-boy which he counted clear gain,since he got both entertainment and needful information out of it.The third day of Tom Canty's kingship came and went much as theothers had done, but there was a lifting of his cloud in one way--he felt less uncomfortable than at first; he was getting a littleused to his circumstances and surroundings; his chains stillgalled, but not all the time; he found that the presence andhomage of the great afflicted and embarrassed him less and lesssharply with every hour that drifted over his head.But for one single dread, he could have seen the fourth dayapproach without serious distress--the dining in public; it was tobegin that day. There were greater matters in the programme--foron that day he would have to preside at a council which would takehis views and commands concerning the policy to be pursued towardvarious foreign nations scattered far and near over the greatglobe; on that day, too, Hertford would be formally chosen to thegrand office of Lord Protector; other things of note wereappointed for that fourth day, also; but to Tom they were allinsignificant compared with the ordeal of dining all by himselfwith a multitude of curious eyes fastened upon him and a multitudeof mouths whispering comments upon his performance,--and upon hismistakes, if he should be so unlucky as to make any.Still, nothing could stop that fourth day, and so it came. Itfound poor Tom low-spirited and absent-minded, and this moodcontinued; he could not shake it off. The ordinary duties of themorning dragged upon his hands, and wearied him. Once more hefelt the sense of captivity heavy upon him.Late in the forenoon he was in a large audience-chamber,conversing with the Earl of Hertford and dully awaiting thestriking of the hour appointed for a visit of ceremony from aconsiderable number of great officials and courtiers.After a little while, Tom, who had wandered to a window and becomeinterested in the life and movement of the great highway beyondthe palace gates--and not idly interested, but longing with allhis heart to take part in person in its stir and freedom--saw thevan of a hooting and shouting mob of disorderly men, women, andchildren of the lowest and poorest degree approaching from up theroad."I would I knew what 'tis about!" he exclaimed, with all a boy'scuriosity in such happenings."Thou art the King!" solemnly responded the Earl, with areverence. "Have I your Grace's leave to act?""O blithely, yes! O gladly, yes!" exclaimed Tom excitedly, addingto himself with a lively sense of satisfaction, "In truth, being aking is not all dreariness--it hath its compensations andconveniences."The Earl called a page, and sent him to the captain of the guardwith the order--"Let the mob be halted, and inquiry made concerning the occasionof its movement. By the King's command!"A few seconds later a long rank of the royal guards, cased inflashing steel, filed out at the gates and formed across thehighway in front of the multitude. A messenger returned, toreport that the crowd were following a man, a woman, and a younggirl to execution for crimes committed against the peace anddignity of the realm.Death--and a violent death--for these poor unfortunates! Thethought wrung Tom's heart-strings. The spirit of compassion tookcontrol of him, to the exclusion of all other considerations; henever thought of the offended laws, or of the grief or loss whichthese three criminals had inflicted upon their victims; he couldthink of nothing but the scaffold and the grisly fate hanging overthe heads of the condemned. His concern made him even forget, forthe moment, that he was but the false shadow of a king, not thesubstance; and before he knew it he had blurted out the command--"Bring them here!"Then he blushed scarlet, and a sort of apology sprung to his lips;but observing that his order had wrought no sort of surprise inthe Earl or the waiting page, he suppressed the words he was aboutto utter. The page, in the most matter-of-course way, made aprofound obeisance and retired backwards out of the room todeliver the command. Tom experienced a glow of pride and arenewed sense of the compensating advantages of the kingly office.He said to himself, "Truly it is like what I was used to feel whenI read the old priest's tales, and did imagine mine own self aprince, giving law and command to all, saying 'Do this, do that,'whilst none durst offer let or hindrance to my will."Now the doors swung open; one high-sounding title after anotherwas announced, the personages owning them followed, and the placewas quickly half-filled with noble folk and finery. But Tom washardly conscious of the presence of these people, so wrought upwas he and so intensely absorbed in that other and moreinteresting matter. He seated himself absently in his chair ofstate, and turned his eyes upon the door with manifestations ofimpatient expectancy; seeing which, the company forbore to troublehim, and fell to chatting a mixture of public business and courtgossip one with another.In a little while the measured tread of military men was heardapproaching, and the culprits entered the presence in charge of anunder-sheriff and escorted by a detail of the king's guard. Thecivil officer knelt before Tom, then stood aside; the three doomedpersons knelt, also, and remained so; the guard took positionbehind Tom's chair. Tom scanned the prisoners curiously.Something about the dress or appearance of the man had stirred avague memory in him. "Methinks I have seen this man ere now . . .but the when or the where fail me"--such was Tom's thought. Justthen the man glanced quickly up and quickly dropped his faceagain, not being able to endure the awful port of sovereignty; butthe one full glimpse of the face which Tom got was sufficient. Hesaid to himself: "Now is the matter clear; this is the strangerthat plucked Giles Witt out of the Thames, and saved his life,that windy, bitter, first day of the New Year--a brave good deed--pity he hath been doing baser ones and got himself in this sadcase . . . I have not forgot the day, neither the hour; by reasonthat an hour after, upon the stroke of eleven, I did get a hidingby the hand of Gammer Canty which was of so goodly and admiredseverity that all that went before or followed after it were butfondlings and caresses by comparison."Tom now ordered that the woman and the girl be removed from thepresence for a little time; then addressed himself to the under-sheriff, saying--"Good sir, what is this man's offence?"The officer knelt, and answered--"So please your Majesty, he hath taken the life of a subject bypoison."Tom's compassion for the prisoner, and admiration of him as thedaring rescuer of a drowning boy, experienced a most damagingshock."The thing was proven upon him?" he asked."Most clearly, sire."Tom sighed, and said--"Take him away--he hath earned his death. 'Tis a pity, for he wasa brave heart--na--na, I mean he hath the look of it!"The prisoner clasped his hands together with sudden energy, andwrung them despairingly, at the same time appealing imploringly tothe 'King' in broken and terrified phrases--"O my lord the King, an' thou canst pity the lost, have pity uponme! I am innocent--neither hath that wherewith I am charged beenmore than but lamely proved--yet I speak not of that; the judgmentis gone forth against me and may not suffer alteration; yet inmine extremity I beg a boon, for my doom is more than I can bear.A grace, a grace, my lord the King! in thy royal compassion grantmy prayer--give commandment that I be hanged!"Tom was amazed. This was not the outcome he had looked for."Odds my life, a strange boon! Was it not the fate intendedthee?""O good my liege, not so! It is ordered that I be boiled alive!"The hideous surprise of these words almost made Tom spring fromhis chair. As soon as he could recover his wits he cried out--"Have thy wish, poor soul! an' thou had poisoned a hundred menthou shouldst not suffer so miserable a death."The prisoner bowed his face to the ground and burst intopassionate expressions of gratitude--ending with--"If ever thou shouldst know misfortune--which God forefend!--maythy goodness to me this day be remembered and requited!"Tom turned to the Earl of Hertford, and said--"My lord, is it believable that there was warrant for this man'sferocious doom?""It is the law, your Grace--for poisoners. In Germany coiners beboiled to death in oil--not cast in of a sudden, but by a rope letdown into the oil by degrees, and slowly; first the feet, then thelegs, then--""O prithee no more, my lord, I cannot bear it!" cried Tom,covering his eyes with his hands to shut out the picture. "Ibeseech your good lordship that order be taken to change this law--oh, let no more poor creatures be visited with its tortures."The Earl's face showed profound gratification, for he was a man ofmerciful and generous impulses--a thing not very common with hisclass in that fierce age. He said--"These your Grace's noble words have sealed its doom. Historywill remember it to the honour of your royal house."The under-sheriff was about to remove his prisoner; Tom gave him asign to wait; then he said--"Good sir, I would look into this matter further. The man hassaid his deed was but lamely proved. Tell me what thou knowest.""If the King's grace please, it did appear upon the trial thatthis man entered into a house in the hamlet of Islington where onelay sick--three witnesses say it was at ten of the clock in themorning, and two say it was some minutes later--the sick man beingalone at the time, and sleeping--and presently the man came forthagain and went his way. The sick man died within the hour, beingtorn with spasms and retchings.""Did any see the poison given? Was poison found?""Marry, no, my liege.""Then how doth one know there was poison given at all?""Please your Majesty, the doctors testified that none die withsuch symptoms but by poison."Weighty evidence, this, in that simple age. Tom recognised itsformidable nature, and said--"The doctor knoweth his trade--belike they were right. The matterhath an ill-look for this poor man.""Yet was not this all, your Majesty; there is more and worse.Many testified that a witch, since gone from the village, noneknow whither, did foretell, and speak it privately in their ears,that the sick man would die by poison--and more, that a strangerwould give it--a stranger with brown hair and clothed in a wornand common garb; and surely this prisoner doth answer woundily tothe bill. Please your Majesty to give the circumstance thatsolemn weight which is its due, seeing it was foretold."This was an argument of tremendous force in that superstitiousday. Tom felt that the thing was settled; if evidence was worthanything, this poor fellow's guilt was proved. Still he offeredthe prisoner a chance, saying--"If thou canst say aught in thy behalf, speak.""Nought that will avail, my King. I am innocent, yet cannot Imake it appear. I have no friends, else might I show that I wasnot in Islington that day; so also might I show that at that hourthey name I was above a league away, seeing I was at Wapping OldStairs; yea more, my King, for I could show, that whilst they sayI was taking life, I was saving it. A drowning boy--""Peace! Sheriff, name the day the deed was done!""At ten in the morning, or some minutes later, the first day ofthe New Year, most illustrious--""Let the prisoner go free--it is the King's will!"Another blush followed this unregal outburst, and he covered hisindecorum as well as he could by adding--"It enrageth me that a man should be hanged upon such idle, hare-brained evidence!"A low buzz of admiration swept through the assemblage. It was notadmiration of the decree that had been delivered by Tom, for thepropriety or expediency of pardoning a convicted poisoner was athing which few there would have felt justified in eitheradmitting or admiring--no, the admiration was for the intelligenceand spirit which Tom had displayed. Some of the low-voicedremarks were to this effect--"This is no mad king--he hath his wits sound.""How sanely he put his questions--how like his former natural selfwas this abrupt imperious disposal of the matter!""God be thanked, his infirmity is spent! This is no weakling, buta king. He hath borne himself like to his own father."The air being filled with applause, Tom's ear necessarily caught alittle of it. The effect which this had upon him was to put himgreatly at his ease, and also to charge his system with verygratifying sensations.However, his juvenile curiosity soon rose superior to thesepleasant thoughts and feelings; he was eager to know what sort ofdeadly mischief the woman and the little girl could have beenabout; so, by his command, the two terrified and sobbing creatureswere brought before him."What is it that these have done?" he inquired of the sheriff."Please your Majesty, a black crime is charged upon them, andclearly proven; wherefore the judges have decreed, according tothe law, that they be hanged. They sold themselves to the devil--such is their crime."Tom shuddered. He had been taught to abhor people who did thiswicked thing. Still, he was not going to deny himself thepleasure of feeding his curiosity for all that; so he asked--"Where was this done?--and when?""On a midnight in December, in a ruined church, your Majesty."Tom shuddered again."Who was there present?""Only these two, your grace--and that other.""Have these confessed?""Nay, not so, sire--they do deny it.""Then prithee, how was it known?""Certain witness did see them wending thither, good your Majesty;this bred the suspicion, and dire effects have since confirmed andjustified it. In particular, it is in evidence that through thewicked power so obtained, they did invoke and bring about a stormthat wasted all the region round about. Above forty witnesseshave proved the storm; and sooth one might have had a thousand,for all had reason to remember it, sith all had suffered by it.""Certes this is a serious matter." Tom turned this dark piece ofscoundrelism over in his mind a while, then asked--"Suffered the woman also by the storm?"Several old heads among the assemblage nodded their recognition ofthe wisdom of this question. The sheriff, however, saw nothingconsequential in the inquiry; he answered, with simple directness--"Indeed did she, your Majesty, and most righteously, as all aver.Her habitation was swept away, and herself and child leftshelterless.""Methinks the power to do herself so ill a turn was dearly bought.She had been cheated, had she paid but a farthing for it; that shepaid her soul, and her child's, argueth that she is mad; if she ismad she knoweth not what she doth, therefore sinneth not."The elderly heads nodded recognition of Tom's wisdom once more,and one individual murmured, "An' the King be mad himself,according to report, then is it a madness of a sort that wouldimprove the sanity of some I wot of, if by the gentle providenceof God they could but catch it.""What age hath the child?" asked Tom."Nine years, please your Majesty.""By the law of England may a child enter into covenant and sellitself, my lord?" asked Tom, turning to a learned judge."The law doth not permit a child to make or meddle in any weightymatter, good my liege, holding that its callow wit unfitteth it tocope with the riper wit and evil schemings of them that are itselders. The devil may buy a child, if he so choose, and the childagree thereto, but not an Englishman--in this latter case thecontract would be null and void.""It seemeth a rude unchristian thing, and ill contrived, thatEnglish law denieth privileges to Englishmen to waste them on thedevil!" cried Tom, with honest heat.This novel view of the matter excited many smiles, and was storedaway in many heads to be repeated about the Court as evidence ofTom's originality as well as progress toward mental health.The elder culprit had ceased from sobbing, and was hanging uponTom's words with an excited interest and a growing hope. Tomnoticed this, and it strongly inclined his sympathies toward herin her perilous and unfriended situation. Presently he asked--"How wrought they to bring the storm?""By pulling off their stockings, sire."This astonished Tom, and also fired his curiosity to fever heat.He said, eagerly--"It is wonderful! Hath it always this dread effect?""Always, my liege--at least if the woman desire it, and utter theneedful words, either in her mind or with her tongue."Tom turned to the woman, and said with impetuous zeal--"Exert thy power--I would see a storm!"There was a sudden paling of cheeks in the superstitiousassemblage, and a general, though unexpressed, desire to get outof the place--all of which was lost upon Tom, who was dead toeverything but the proposed cataclysm. Seeing a puzzled andastonished look in the woman's face, he added, excitedly--"Never fear--thou shalt be blameless. More--thou shalt go free--none shall touch thee. Exert thy power.""Oh, my lord the King, I have it not--I have been falselyaccused.""Thy fears stay thee. Be of good heart, thou shalt suffer noharm. Make a storm--it mattereth not how small a one--I requirenought great or harmful, but indeed prefer the opposite--do thisand thy life is spared--thou shalt go out free, with thy child,bearing the King's pardon, and safe from hurt or malice from anyin the realm."The woman prostrated herself, and protested, with tears, that shehad no power to do the miracle, else she would gladly win herchild's life alone, and be content to lose her own, if byobedience to the King's command so precious a grace might beacquired.Tom urged--the woman still adhered to her declarations. Finallyhe said--"I think the woman hath said true. An' my mother were in herplace and gifted with the devil's functions, she had not stayed amoment to call her storms and lay the whole land in ruins, if thesaving of my forfeit life were the price she got! It is argumentthat other mothers are made in like mould. Thou art free,goodwife--thou and thy child--for I do think thee innocent. Nowthou'st nought to fear, being pardoned--pull off thy stockings!--an' thou canst make me a storm, thou shalt be rich!"The redeemed creature was loud in her gratitude, and proceeded toobey, whilst Tom looked on with eager expectancy, a little marredby apprehension; the courtiers at the same time manifestingdecided discomfort and uneasiness. The woman stripped her ownfeet and her little girl's also, and plainly did her best toreward the King's generosity with an earthquake, but it was all afailure and a disappointment. Tom sighed, and said--"There, good soul, trouble thyself no further, thy power isdeparted out of thee. Go thy way in peace; and if it return tothee at any time, forget me not, but fetch me a storm." {13}