Book Five: 1806-07 - Chapter V

by Leo Tolstoy

　　The day after he had been received into the Lodge, Pierre wassitting at home reading a book and trying to fathom the significanceof the Square, one side of which symbolized God, another moral things,a third physical things, and the fourth a combination of these. Nowand then his attention wandered from the book and the Square and heformed in imagination a new plan of life. On the previous evening atthe Lodge, he had heard that a rumor of his duel had reached theEmperor and that it would be wiser for him to leave Petersburg. Pierreproposed going to his estates in the south and there attending tothe welfare of his serfs. He was joyfully planning this new life, whenPrince Vasili suddenly entered the room.

　　"My dear fellow, what have you been up to in Moscow? Why have youquarreled with Helene, mon cher? You are under a delusion," saidPrince Vasili, as he entered. "I know all about it, and I can tell youpositively that Helene is as innocent before you as Christ wasbefore the Jews."

　　Pierre was about to reply, but Prince Vasili interrupted him.

　　"And why didn't you simply come straight to me as to a friend? Iknow all about it and understand it all," he said. "You behaved asbecomes a man values his honor, perhaps too hastily, but we won't gointo that. But consider the position in which you are placing herand me in the eyes of society, and even of the court," he added,lowering his voice. "She is living in Moscow and you are here.Remember, dear boy," and he drew Pierre's arm downwards, "it is simplya misunderstanding. I expect you feel it so yourself. Let us write hera letter at once, and she'll come here and all will be explained, orelse, my dear boy, let me tell you it's quite likely you'll have tosuffer for it."

　　Prince Vasili gave Pierre a significant look.

　　"I know from reliable sources that the Dowager Empress is taking akeen interest in the whole affair. You know she is very gracious toHelene."

　　Pierre tried several times to speak, but, on one hand, Prince Vasilidid not let him and, on the other, Pierre himself feared to begin tospeak in the tone of decided refusal and disagreement in which hehad firmly resolved to answer his father-in-law. Moreover, the wordsof the Masonic statutes, "be kindly and courteous," recurred to him.He blinked, went red, got up and sat down again, struggling withhimself to do what was for him the most difficult thing in life- tosay an unpleasant thing to a man's face, to say what the other,whoever he might be, did not expect. He was so used to submitting toPrince Vasili's tone of careless self-assurance that he felt hewould be unable to withstand it now, but he also felt that on whathe said now his future depended- whether he would follow the sameold road, or that new path so attractively shown him by the Masons, onwhich he firmly believed he would be reborn to a new life.

　　"Now, dear boy," said Prince Vasili playfully, "say 'yes,' andI'll write to her myself, and we will kill the fatted calf."

　　But before Prince Vasili had finished his playful speech, Pierre,without looking at him, and with a kind of fury that made him like hisfather, muttered in a whisper:

　　"Prince, I did not ask you here. Go, please go!" And he jumped upand opened the door for him.

　　"Go!" he repeated, amazed at himself and glad to see the look ofconfusion and fear that showed itself on Prince Vasili's face.

　　"What's the matter with you? Are you ill?"

　　"Go!" the quivering voice repeated. And Prince Vasili had to gowithout receiving any explanation.

　　A week later, Pierre, having taken leave of his new friends, theMasons, and leaving large sums of money with them for alms, wentaway to his estates. His new brethren gave him letters to the Kiev andOdessa Masons and promised to write to him and guide him in his newactivity.