Book Ten: 1812 - Chapter X

by Leo Tolstoy

　　After her father's funeral Princess Mary shut herself up in her roomand did not admit anyone. A maid came to the door to say that Alpatychwas asking for orders about their departure. (This was before his talkwith Dron.) Princess Mary raised herself on the sofa on which shehad been lying and replied through the closed door that she did notmean to go away and begged to be left in peace.

　　The windows of the room in which she was lying looked westward.She lay on the sofa with her face to the wall, fingering the buttonsof the leather cushion and seeing nothing but that cushion, and herconfused thoughts were centered on one subject- the irrevocabilityof death and her own spiritual baseness, which she had notsuspected, but which had shown itself during her father's illness. Shewished to pray but did not dare to, dared not in her present stateof mind address herself to God. She lay for a long time in thatposition.

　　The sun had reached the other side of the house, and its slantingrays shone into the open window, lighting up the room and part ofthe morocco cushion at which Princess Mary was looking. The flow ofher thoughts suddenly stopped. Unconsciously she sat up, smoothedher hair, got up, and went to the window, involuntarily inhaling thefreshness of the clear but windy evening.

　　"Yes, you can well enjoy the evening now! He is gone and no one willhinder you," she said to herself, and sinking into a chair she let herhead fall on the window sill.

　　Someone spoke her name in a soft and tender voice from the gardenand kissed her head. She looked up. It was Mademoiselle Bourienne in ablack dress and weepers. She softly approached Princess Mary,sighed, kissed her, and immediately began to cry. The princesslooked up at her. All their former disharmony and her own jealousyrecurred to her mind. But she remembered too how he had changed oflate toward Mademoiselle Bourienne and could not bear to see her,thereby showing how unjust were the reproaches Princess Mary hadmentally addressed to her. "Besides, is it for me, for me whodesired his death, to condemn anyone?" she thought.

　　Princess Mary vividly pictured to herself the position ofMademoiselle Bourienne, whom she had of late kept at a distance, butwho yet was dependent on her and living in her house. She felt sorryfor her and held out her hand with a glance of gentle inquiry.Mademoiselle Bourienne at once began crying again and kissed thathand, speaking of the princess' sorrow and making herself a partner init. She said her only consolation was the fact that the princessallowed her to share her sorrow, that all the old misunderstandingsshould sink into nothing but this great grief; that she felt herselfblameless in regard to everyone, and that he, from above, saw heraffection and gratitude. The princess heard her, not heeding her wordsbut occasionally looking up at her and listening to the sound of hervoice.

　　"Your position is doubly terrible, dear princess," said MademoiselleBourienne after a pause. "I understand that you could not, and cannot,think of yourself, but with my love for you I must do so.... HasAlpatych been to you? Has he spoken to you of going away?" she asked.

　　Princess Mary did not answer. She did not understand who was to goor where to. "Is it possible to plan or think of anything now? Is itnot all the same?" she thought, and did not reply.

　　"You know, chere Marie," said Mademoiselle Bourienne, "that we arein danger- are surrounded by the French. It would be dangerous to movenow. If we go we are almost sure to be taken prisoners, and Godknows..."

　　Princess Mary looked at her companion without understanding what shewas talking about.

　　"Oh, if anyone knew how little anything matters to me now," shesaid. "Of course I would on no account wish to go away from him....Alpatych did say something about going.... Speak to him; I can donothing, nothing, and don't want to...."

　　"I've spoken to him. He hopes we should be in time to get awaytomorrow, but I think it would now be better to stay here," saidMademoiselle Bourienne. "Because, you will agree, chere Marie, to fallinto the hands of the soldiers or of riotous peasants would beterrible."

　　Mademoiselle Bourienne took from her reticule a proclamation (notprinted on ordinary Russian paper) of General Rameau's, telling peoplenot to leave their homes and that the French authorities wouldafford them proper protection. She handed this to the princess.

　　"I think it would be best to appeal to that general," she continued,"and and am sure that all due respect would be shown you."

　　Princess Mary read the paper, and her face began to quiver withstifled sobs.

　　"From whom did you get this?" she asked.

　　"They probably recognized that I am French, by my name," repliedMademoiselle Bourienne blushing.

　　Princess Mary, with the paper in her hand, rose from the windowand with a pale face went out of the room and into what had beenPrince Andrew's study.

　　"Dunyasha, send Alpatych, or Dronushka, or somebody to me!" shesaid, "and tell Mademoiselle Bourienne not to come to me," sheadded, hearing Mademoiselle Bourienne's voice. "We must go at once, atonce!" she said, appalled at the thought of being left in the hands ofthe French.

　　"If Prince Andrew heard that I was in the power of the French!That I, the daughter of Prince Nicholas Bolkonski, asked GeneralRameau for protection and accepted his favor!" This idea horrifiedher, made her shudder, blush, and feel such a rush of anger andpride as she had never experienced before. All that was distressing,and especially all that was humiliating, in her position rosevividly to her mind. "They, the French, would settle in this house: M.le General Rameau would occupy Prince Andrew's study and amuse himselfby looking through and reading his letters and papers. MademoiselleBourienne would do the honors of Bogucharovo for him. I should begiven a small room as a favor, the soldiers would violate myfather's newly dug grave to steal his crosses and stars, they wouldtell me of their victories over the Russians, and would pretend tosympathize with my sorrow..." thought Princess Mary, not thinkingher own thoughts but feeling bound to think like her father and herbrother. For herself she did not care where she remained or whathappened to her, but she felt herself the representative of her deadfather and of Prince Andrew. Involuntarily she thought theirthoughts and felt their feelings. What they would have said and whatthey would have done she felt bound to say and do. She went intoPrince Andrew's study, trying to enter completely into his ideas,and considered her position.

　　The demands of life, which had seemed to her annihilated by herfather's death, all at once rose before her with a new, previouslyunknown force and took possession of her.

　　Agitated and flushed she paced the room, sending now for MichaelIvanovich and now for Tikhon or Dron. Dunyasha, the nurse, and theother maids could not say in how far Mademoiselle Bourienne'sstatement was correct. Alpatych was not at home, he had gone to thepolice. Neither could the architect Michael Ivanovich, who on beingsent for came in with sleepy eyes, tell Princess Mary anything. Withjust the same smile of agreement with which for fifteen years he hadbeen accustomed to answer the old prince without expressing views ofhis own, he now replied to Princess Mary, so that nothing definitecould be got from his answers. The old valet Tikhon, with sunken,emaciated face that bore the stamp of inconsolable grief, replied:"Yes, Princess" to all Princess Mary's questions and hardlyrefrained from sobbing as he looked at her.

　　At length Dron, the village Elder, entered the room and with adeep bow to Princess Mary came to a halt by the doorpost.

　　Princess Mary walked up and down the room and stopped in front ofhim.

　　"Dronushka," she said, regarding as a sure friend this Dronushka whoalways used to bring a special kind of gingerbread from his visit tothe fair at Vyazma every year and smilingly offer it to her,"Dronushka, now since our misfortune..." she began, but could not goon.

　　"We are all in God's hands," said he, with a sigh.

　　They were silent for a while.

　　"Dronushka, Alpatych has gone off somewhere and I have no one toturn to. Is true, as they tell me, that I can't even go away?"

　　"Why shouldn't you go away, your excellency? You can go," said Dron.

　　"I was told it would be dangerous because of the enemy. Dear friend,I can do nothing. I understand nothing. I have nobody! I want to goaway tonight or early tomorrow morning."

　　Dron paused. He looked askance at Princess Mary and said: "There areno horses; I told Yakov Alpatych so."

　　"Why are there none?" asked the princess.

　　"It's all God's scourge," said Dron. "What horses we had have beentaken for the army or have died- this is such a year! It's not acase of feeding horses- we may die of hunger ourselves! As it is, somego three days without eating. We've nothing, we've been ruined."

　　Princess Mary listened attentively to what he told her.

　　"The peasants are ruined? They have no bread?" she asked.

　　"They're dying of hunger," said Dron. "It's not a case of carting."

　　"But why didn't you tell me, Dronushka? Isn't it possible to helpthem? I'll do all I can...."

　　To Princess Mary it was strange that now, at a moment when suchsorrow was filling her soul, there could be rich people and poor,and the rich could refrain from helping the poor. She had heardvaguely that there was such a thing as "landlord's corn" which wassometimes given to the peasants. She also knew that neither her fathernor her brother would refuse to help the peasants in need, she onlyfeared to make some mistake in speaking about the distribution ofthe grain she wished to give. She was glad such cares presentedthemselves, enabling her without scruple to forget her own grief.She began asking Dron about the peasants' needs and what there wasin Bogucharovo that belonged to the landlord.

　　"But we have grain belonging to my brother?" she said.

　　"The landlord's grain is all safe," replied Dron proudly. "Ourprince did not order it to be sold."

　　"Give it to the peasants, let them have all they need; I give youleave in my brother's name," said she.

　　Dron made no answer but sighed deeply.

　　"Give them that corn if there is enough of it. Distribute it all.I give this order in my brother's name; and tell them that what isours is theirs. We do not grudge them anything. Tell them so."

　　" Dron looked intently at the princess while she was speaking.

　　"Discharge me, little mother, for God's sake! Order the keys to betaken from me," said he. "I have served twenty-three years and havedone no wrong. Discharge me, for God's sake!"

　　Princess Mary did not understand what he wanted of her or why he wasasking to be discharged. She replied that she had never doubted hisdevotion and that she was ready to do anything for him and for thepeasants.