Aunt Kipp
"Children and fools speak the truth."
I"What's that sigh for, Polly dear?" "I'm tired, mother, tired ofworking and waiting. If I'm ever going to have any fun, I want itnow while I can enjoy it.""You shouldn't wait another hour if I could have my way; but youknow how helpless I am;" and poor Mrs. Snow sighed dolefully, as sheglanced about the dingy room and pretty Mary turning her faded gownfor the second time."If Aunt Kipp would give us the money she is always talking about,instead of waiting till she dies, we should be so comfortable. Sheis a dreadful bore, for she lives in such terror of dropping dead withher heart-complaint that she doesn't take any pleasure in life herselfor let any one else; so the sooner she goes the better for all of us,"said Polly, in a desperate tone; for things looked very black to herjust then."My dear, don't say that," began her mother, mildly shocked; but abluff little voice broke in with the forcible remark,--"She's everlastingly telling me never to put off till to-morrow whatcan be done to-day; next time she comes I'll remind her of that, andask her, if she is going to die, why she doesn't do it?""Toady! you're a wicked, disrespectful boy; never let me hear you saysuch a thing again about your dear Aunt Kipp.""She isn't dear! You know we all hate her, and you are more afraid ofher than you are of spiders,--so now."The young personage whose proper name had been corrupted into Toady,was a small boy of ten or eleven, apple-cheeked, round-eyed, andcurly-headed; arrayed in well-worn, gray knickerbockers, profuselyadorned with paint, glue, and shreds of cotton. Perched on a highstool, at an isolated table in a state of chaos, he was absorbed inmaking a boat, entirely oblivious of the racking tooth-ache which hadbeen his excuse for staying from school. As cool, saucy, hard-handed,and soft-hearted a little specimen of young America was Toady as youwould care to see; a tyrant at home, a rebel at school, a sworn foeto law, order, and Aunt Kipp. This young person was regarded as areprobate by all but his mother, sister, and sister's sweetheart, VanBahr Lamb. Having been, through much anguish of flesh and spirit,taught that lying was a deadly sin, Toady rushed to the other extreme,and bolted out the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,at all times and places, with a startling abruptness that broughtwrath and dismay upon his friends and relatives."It's wicked to fib; you've whipped that into me and you can't rub itout," he was wont to say, with vivid recollection of the past tinglingin the chubby portions of his frame."Mind your chips, Toady, and take care what you say to Aunt Kipp, oryou'll be as poor as a little rat all the days of your life," saidPolly, warningly."I don't want her old money, and I'll tell her so if she bothers meabout it. I shall go into business with Van and take care of the wholelot; so don't you preach, Polly," returned Toady, with as much dignityas was compatible with a great dab of glue on the end of his snubnose."Mother, did aunt say anything about coming this week?" asked Polly,after a pause of intense thought over a breadth with three darns, twospots, and a burn."Yes; she wrote that she was too feeble to come at present, as she hadsuch dreadful palpitations she didn't dare stir from her room. So weare quite safe for the next week at least, and--bless my soul, thereshe is now!"Mrs. Snow clasped her hands with a gesture of dismay, and sat as iftransfixed by the spectacle of a ponderous lady, in an awe-inspiringbonnet, who came walking slowly down the street. Polly gave a groan,and pulled a bright ribbon from her hair. Toady muttered, "Oh,bother!" and vainly attempted to polish up his countenance with afragmentary pocket-handkerchief."Nothing but salt fish for dinner," wailed Mrs. Snow, as the shadow ofthe coming event fell upon her."Van will make a fool of himself, and ruin everything," sighed Polly,glancing at the ring on her finger."I know she'll kiss me; she never will let a fellow alone," growledToady, scowling darkly.The garden gate clashed, dust flew from the door-mat, a heavy stepechoed in the hall, an imperious voice called "Sophy!" and Aunt Kippentered with a flourish of trumpets, for Toady blew a blast throughhis fingers which made the bows totter on her bonnet."My dear aunt, I'm very glad to see you," murmured Mrs. Snow,advancing with a smile of welcome; for though as weak as water gruel,she was as kind-hearted a little woman as ever lived."What a fib that was!" said Toady, sotto voce."We were just saying we were afraid you wouldn't"--began Mary, when awarning, "Mind now, Polly," caused her to stop short and busy herselfwith the newcomer's bag and umbrella."I changed my mind. Theodore, come and kiss me," answered Aunt Kipp,briefly."Yes'm," was the plaintive reply, and, closing his eyes, Toady awaitedhis fate with fortitude.But the dreaded salute did not come, for Aunt Kipp exclaimed inalarm,--"Mercy on us! has the boy got the plague?""No'm, it's paint, and dirt, and glue, and it won't come off," saidToady, stroking his variegated countenance with grateful admirationfor the stains that saved him."Go and wash this moment, sir. Thank Heaven, I've got no boys,"cried Aunt Kipp. as if boys were some virulent disease which she hadnarrowly escaped.With a hasty peck at the lips of her two elder relatives, the old ladyseated herself, and slowly removed the awful bonnet, which in shapeand hue much resembled a hearse hung with black crape."I'm glad you are better," said Mary, reverently receiving thefunereal head-gear."I'm not better," cut in Aunt Kipp. "I'm worse, much worse; my daysare numbered; I stand on the brink of the tomb, and may drop at anymoment."Toady's face was a study, as he glanced up at the old lady's floridcountenance, down at the floor, as if in search of the above-mentioned"brink," and looked unaffectedly anxious to see her drop. "Why don'tyou, then?" was on his lips; but a frown from Polly restrained him,and he sat himself down on the rug to contemplate the corpulentvictim."Have a cup of tea, aunt?" said Mrs. Snow."I will.""Lie down and rest a little," suggested Polly."I won't.""Can we do anything for you?" said both."Take my things away, and have dinner early."Both departed to perform these behests, and, leaning back in herchair, Aunt Kipp reposed."I say, what's a bore?" asked Toady from the rug, where he sat rockingmeditatively to and fro, holding on by his shoe-strings."It's a kind of a pig, very fierce, and folks are afraid of 'em," saidAunt Kipp, whose knowledge of Natural History was limited."Good for Polly! so you are!" sung out the boy, with the heartychild's laugh so pleasant to most ears."What do you mean, sir?" demanded the old lady, irefully poking at himwith her umbrella."Why, Polly said you were a bore," explained Toady, with artlessfrankness. "You are fat, you know, and fierce sometimes, and folksare afraid of you. Good, wasn't it?""Very! Mary is a nice, grateful, respectful, loving niece, and Ishan't forget her, she may depend on that," and Aunt Kipp laughedgrimly."May she? well, that's jolly now. She was afraid you wouldn't give herthe money; so I'll tell her it's all right;" and innocent Toady noddedapprovingly."Oh, she expects some of my money, does she?""Course she does; ain't you always saying you'll remember us in yourwill, because father was your favorite nephew, and all that? I'll tellyou a secret, if you won't let Polly know I spoke first. You'll findit out to-night, for you 'd see Van and she were sweethearts in aminute.""Sweethearts?" cried Aunt Kipp, turning red in the face."Yes'm. Van settled it last week, and Polly's been so happy eversince. Mother likes it, and I like it, for I'm fond of Van, thoughI do call him Baa-baa, because he looks like a sheep. We all like it,and we 'd all say so, if we were not afraid of you. Mother and Polly,I mean; of course we men don't mind, but we don't want a fuss. Youwon't make one, will you, now?"Anything more expressive of brotherly good-will, persuasive frankness,and a placid consciousness of having "fixed it," than Toady's dirtylittle face, it would be hard to find. Aunt Kipp eyed him so fiercelythat even before she spoke a dim suspicion that something was wrongbegan to dawn on his too-confiding soul."I don't like it, and I'll put a stop to it. I won't have anyridiculous baa-baas in my family. If Mary counts on my money to beginhousekeeping with, she'll find herself mistaken; for not one pennyshall she have, married or single, and you may tell her so."Toady was so taken aback by this explosion that he let go hisshoe-strings, fell over with a crash, and lay flat, with shovel andtongs spread upon him like a pall. In rushed Mrs. Snow and Polly, tofind the boy's spirits quite quenched, for once, and Aunt Kipp in atowering passion. It all came out in one overwhelming flood of words,and Toady fled from the storm to wander round the house, a prey tothe deepest remorse. The meekness of that boy at dinner-time was soangelic that Mrs. Snow would have feared speedy translation for him,if she had not been very angry. Polly's red eyes, and Aunt Kipp'sgriffinesque expression of countenance, weighed upon his soul soheavily, that even roly-poly pudding failed to assuage his trouble,and, taking his mother into the china-closet, he anxiously inquired"if it was all up with Polly?""I'm afraid so, for aunt vows she will make a new will to-morrow, andleave every penny to the Charitable Rag-bag Society," sighed Mrs.Snow."I didn't mean to do it, I truly didn't! I thought I'd just 'give hera hint,' as you say. She looked all right, and laughed when I told herabout being a bore, and I thought she liked it. If she was a man, I'dthrash her for making Polly cry;" and Toady shook his fist at AuntKipp's umbrella, which was an immense relief to his perturbed spirit."Bless the boy! I do believe he would!" cried Mrs. Snow, watching thelittle turkey-cock with maternal pride. "You can't do that: so just becareful and not make any more mischief, dear.""I'll try, mother; but I'm always getting into scrapes with Aunt Kipp.She's worse than measles, any day,--such an old aggrawater! Van'scoming this afternoon, won't he make her pleasant again?""Oh, dear, no! He will probably make things ten times worse, he's sobashful and queer. I'm afraid our last chance is gone, deary, and wemust rub along as we have done."One sniff of emotion burst from Toady, and for a moment he laid hishead in the knife-tray, overcome with disappointment and regret.But scorning to yield to unmanly tears, he was soon himself again.Thrusting his beloved jackknife, with three blades and a file, intoPolly's hand, he whispered, brokenly,--"Keep it forever 'n' ever; I'm awful sorry!" Then, feeling that themagnitude of this sacrifice atoned for everything, he went to watchfor Van,--the forlorn hope to which he now clung.
II"Sophy, I'm surprised at your want of judgment. Do you really meanto let your girl marry this Lamb? Why, the man's a fool!" began AuntKipp, after dinner, by way of opening a pleasant conversation with herrelatives."Dear me, aunt! how can you know that, when you never saw him?" mildlyreturned Mrs. Snow."I've heard of him, and that's enough for me. I've a deal ofpenetration in judging character, and I tell you Van Bahr Lamb is afool."The amiable old lady thought this would rouse Polly, against whom heranger still burned hotly. But Polly also possessed penetration;and, well knowing that contradiction would delight Aunt Kipp, shecompletely took the wind out of her sails, by coolly remarking,--"I like fools.""Bless my heart! what does the girl mean?" ejaculated Aunt Kipp."Just what I say. If Van is a fool, I prefer simpletons to wiseacres.I know he is shy and awkward, and does absurd things now and then. ButI also know that he has the kindest heart that ever was; is unselfish,faithful and loving; that he took good care of his old parents tillthey died, and never thought of himself while they needed him. Heloves me dearly; will wait for me a dozen years, if I say so, and workall his days to make me happy. He's a help and comfort to mother, agood friend to Toady, and I love and respect and am proud of him,though you do say he is a fool," cried Polly heartily."And you insist on marrying him?" demanded Aunt Kipp."Yes, I do.""Then I wish a carriage immediately," was the somewhat irrelevantreply."Why, aunt, you don't mean to go so soon?" cried Mrs. Snow, with areproachful glance at the rebellious Polly."Far from it. I wish to see Judge Banks about altering my will," wasthe awful answer.Polly's face fell; her mother gave a despairing sigh; Toady, who hadhovered about the door, uttered a suppressed whistle of dismay; andMrs. Kipp looked about her with vengeful satisfaction."Get the big carryall and old Bob, so the boy can drive, and all ofyou come; the trip will do you good."It was like Aunt Kipp to invite her poor relations to go and "niptheir own noses off," as she elegantly expressed it. It was a party ofpleasure that just suited her, for all the fun was on her side. Shegrew affable at once, was quite pressing in her invitation, regrettedthat Sophy was too busy to go, praised Polly's hat; and professedherself quite satisfied with "that dear boy" for a driver. The "dearboy" distorted his young countenance frightfully behind her back, butfound a balm for every wound in the delight of being commander of theexpedition.The big carryall appeared, and, with much creaking and swaying Mrs.Kipp was got into the back seat, where the big bonnet gloomed like athunder-cloud. Polly, in a high state of indignation, which only madeher look ten times prettier, sat in front with Toady, who was a sightto see as he drove off with his short legs planted against the boot,his elbows squared, and the big whip scientifically cracking nowand then. Away they went, leaving poor Mrs. Snow to bewail herselfdismally after she had smiled and nodded them out of sight."Don't go over any bridges or railroad crossings or by any saw-mills,"said the old lady, as if the town could be suddenly remodelled to suither taste."Yes'm," returned Toady, with a crack which would have done honor to aFrench postilion.It was a fine day, and the young people would have enjoyed the ride inspite of the breakers ahead, if Aunt Kipp hadn't entertained thegirl with a glowing account of the splendors of her own wedding, andaggravated the boy by frequent pokes and directions in the art ofdriving, of which she was of course, profoundly ignorant. Pollycouldn't restrain a tear or two, in thinking of her own poor littleprospects, and Toady was goaded to desperation."I'll give her a regular shaking up; it'll make her hold her tongueand do her good," he said to himself, as a stony hill slopedtemptingly before him.A sly chuck, and some mysterious manoeuvre with the reins, and Bobstarted off at a brisk trot, as if he objected to the old lady as muchas her mischievous little nephew."Hold him in! Keep a taut rein! Lord 'a mercy, he's running away!"shrieked Aunt Kipp, or tried to shriek, for the bouncing and bumpingjerked the words out of her mouth with ludicrous incoherency."I am holding him, but he will go," said Toady, with a wickedtriumph in his eye as he glanced back at Polly.The next minute the words were quite true; for, as he spoke, two orthree distracted hens flew squalling over the wall and scatteredabout, under, over, and before the horse, as only distracted henscould do. It was too much for Bob's nerves; and, taking matters intohis own hands, or feet, rather, he broke into a run, and rattled theold lady over the stones with a velocity which left her speechless.Polly laughed, and Toady chuckled, as they caught glimpses of theawful bonnet vibrating wildly in the background, and felt the franticclutchings of the old lady's hands. But both grew sober as a shrillcar-whistle sounded not far off; and Bob, as if possessed by anevil spirit, turned suddenly into the road that led to the railroadcrossing."That will do, Toady; now pull up, for we can't get over in time,"said Polly, glancing anxiously toward the rapidly approaching puffs ofwhite smoke."I can't, Polly,--I really can't," cried the boy, tugging with all hismight, and beginning to look scared.Polly lent her aid; but Bob scarcely seemed to feel it, for he hadbeen a racer once, and when his blood was up he was hard to handle.His own good sense might have checked him, if Aunt Kipp hadn'tunfortunately recovered her voice at this crisis, and uttered asuccession of the shrillest screams that ever saluted mortal ears.With a snort and a bound Bob dashed straight on toward the crossing,as the train appeared round the bend."Let me out! Let me out! Jump! Jump!" shrieked Aunt Kipp, thrustingher head out of the window, while she fumbled madly for thedoor-handle."O Toady, save us! save us!" gasped Polly, losing her presence ofmind, and dropping the reins to cling to her brother, with a woman'sinstinctive faith in the stronger sex.But Toady held on manfully, though his arms were nearly pulled off,for "Never say die," was his motto, and the plucky little lad wouldn'tshow fear before the women."Don't howl; we'll do it! Hi, Bob!" and with a savage slash of thewhip, an exciting cry, a terrible reeling and rattling, they did doit; for Bob cleared the track at a breakneck pace, just in time forthe train to sweep swiftly by behind them.Aunt Kipp dropped in a heap, Polly looked up at her brother, with alook which he never forgot; and Toady tried to say, stoutly, "It's allright!" with lips that were white and dry in spite of himself."We shall smash up at the bridge," he muttered, as they tore throughthe town, where every one obligingly shouted, waved their hats, anddanced about on the sidewalks, doing nothing but add to Bob's frightand the party's danger. But Toady was wrong,--they did not smash up atthe bridge; for, before they reached the perilous spot, one man hadthe sense to fly straight at the horse's head and hold on till themomentary check enabled others to lend a hand.The instant they were safe, Polly, like a regular heroine, threwherself into the arms of her dishevelled preserver, who of course wasVan, and would have refreshed herself with hysterics if the sight ofToady hadn't steadied her. The boy sat as stiff and rigid as a woodenfigure till they took the reins from him; then all the strength seemedto go out of him, and he leaned against his sister, as white andtrembling as she, whispering with an irrepressible sob,--"O Polly, wasn't it horrid? Tell mother I stood by you like a man. Dotell her that!"If any one had had time or heart to laugh, they certainly would havedone it when, after much groping, heaving, and hoisting. Mrs. Kippwas extricated and restored to consciousness; for a more ludicrouslydeplorable spectacle was seldom seen. Quite unhurt, though muchshaken, the old lady insisted on believing herself to be dying, andkept the town in a ferment till three doctors had pronounced herperfectly well able to go home. Then the perversity of her natureinduced her to comply, that she might have the satisfaction of dyingon the way, and proving herself in the right.Unfortunately she did not expire, but, having safely arrived, went tobed in high dudgeon, and led Polly and her mother a sad life of it fortwo weary days. Having heard of Toady's gallant behavior, she solemnlyordered him up to receive her blessing. But the sight of Aunt Kipp'srubicund visage, surrounded by the stiff frills of an immensenightcap, caused the irreverent boy to explode with laughter in hishandkerchief, and to be hustled away by his mother before Aunt Kippdiscovered the true cause of his convulsed appearance."Ah! poor dear, his feelings are too much for him. He sees my doomin my face, and is overcome by what you refuse to believe. I shan'tforget that boy's devotion. Now leave me to the meditations befittingthese solemn hours."Mrs. Snow retired, and Aunt Kipp tried to sleep; but the murmur ofvoices, and the sound of stifled laughter in the next room disturbedher repose."They are rejoicing over my approaching end, knowing that I haven'tchanged my will. Mercenary creatures, don't exult too soon! there'stime yet," she muttered; and presently, unable to control hercuriosity, she crept out of bed to listen and peep through thekeyhole.Van Bahr Lamb did look rather like a sheep. He had a blond curlyhead, a long face, pale, mild eyes, a plaintive voice, and a generalexpression of innocent timidity strongly suggestive of animatedmutton. But Baa-baa was a "trump," as Toady emphatically declared, andthough every one laughed at him, every one liked him, and that ismore than can be said of many saints and sages. He adored Polly, wasdutifully kind to her mother, and had stood by T. Snow, Jr., in manyan hour of tribulation with fraternal fidelity. Though he had longblushed, sighed, and cast sheep's eyes at the idol of his affections,only till lately had he dared to bleat forth his passion. Polly lovedhim because she couldn't help it; but she was proud, and wouldn'tmarry till Aunt Kipp's money was hers, or at least a sure prospectof it; and now even the prospect of a prospect was destroyed bythat irrepressible Toady. They were talking of this as the old ladysuspected, and of course the following conversation afforded herintense satisfaction."It's a shame to torment us as she does, knowing how poor we are andhow happy a little of her money would make us. I'm tired of being aslave to a cruel old woman just because she's rich. If it was not formother, I declare I'd wash my hands of her entirely, and do the best Icould for myself.""Hooray for Polly! I always said let her money go and be jolly withoutit," cried Toady, who, in his character of wounded hero, reposed witha lordly air on the sofa, enjoying the fragrance of the opodeldoc withwhich his strained wrists were bandaged."It's on your account, children, that I bear with aunt's temper as Ido. I don't want anything for myself, but I really think she owes itto your dear father, who was devoted to her while he lived, to providefor his children when he couldn't;" after which remarkably spiritedspeech for her, Mrs. Snow dropped a tear, and stitched away on a smalltrouser-leg which was suffering from a complicated compound fracture."Don't you worry about me, mother; I'll take care of myself and youtoo," remarked Toady, with the cheery belief in impossibilities whichmakes youth so charming."Now, Van, tell us what to do, for things have come to such a passthat we must either break away altogether or be galley-slaves as longas Aunt Kipp lives," said Polly, who was a good deal excited about thematter."Well, really, my dear, I don't know," hesitated Van, who did knowwhat he wanted, but thought it might be selfish to urge it. "Haveyou tried to soften your aunt's heart?" he asked, after a moment'smeditation."Good gracious, Van, she hasn't got any," cried Polly, who firmlybelieved it."It's hossified," thoughtfully remarked Toady, quite unconscious ofany approach to a joke till every one giggled."You've had hossification enough for one while, my lad," laughed Van."Well, Polly, if the old lady has no heart you'd better let her go,for people without hearts are not worth much.""That's a beautiful remark, Van, and a wise one. I just wish she couldhear you make it, for she called you a fool," said Polly, irefully."Did she? Well, I don't mind, I'm used to it," returned Van, placidly;and so he was, for Polly called him a goose every day of her life, andhe enjoyed it immensely."Then you think, dear, if we stopped worrying about aunt and hermoney, and worked instead of waiting, that we shouldn't be any poorerand might be a great deal happier than we are now?" asked Polly,making a pretty little tableau as she put her hand through Van's armand looked up at him with as much love, respect, and reliance as if hehad been six feet tall, with the face of an Apollo and the manners ofa Chesterfield."Yes, my dear, I do, for it has troubled me a good deal to see you sobadgered by that very uncomfortable old lady. Independence is a verynice thing, and poverty isn't half as bad as this sort of slavery. Butyou are not going to be poor, nor worry about anything. We'll just bemarried and take mother and Toady home and be as jolly as grigs, andnever think of Mrs. K. again,--unless she loses her fortune, orgets sick, or comes to grief in any way. We'd lend her a hand then,wouldn't we, Polly?" and Van's mild face was pleasant to behold as hemade the kindly proposition."Well, we'd think of it," said Polly, trying not to relent, butfeeling that she was going very fast."Let's do it!" cried Toady, fired with the thought of privy conspiracyand rebellion. "Mother would be so comfortable with Polly, andI'd help Van in the store, when I've learned that confoundedmultiplication table," he added with a groan; "and if Aunt Kipp comesa visiting, we'll just say 'Not at home,' and let her trot off again.""It sounds very nice, but aunt will be dreadfully offended and I don'twish to be ungrateful," said Mrs. Snow, brightening visibly."There's no ingratitude about it," cried Van. "She might have doneeverything to make you love, and respect, and admire her, and been ahappy, useful, motherly, old soul; but she didn't choose to, and nowshe must take the consequences. No one cares for her, because shecares for nobody; her money's the plague of her life, and not a singleheart will ache when she dies.""Poor Aunt Kipp!" said Polly, softly.Mrs. Snow echoed the words, and for a moment all thought pitifully ofthe woman whose life had given so little happiness, whose age had wonso little reverence, and whose death would cause so little regret.Even Toady had a kind thought for her, as he broke the silence, sayingsoberly,--"You'd better put tails on my jackets, mother; then the next time weget run away with, Aunt Kipp will have something to hold on by."It was impossible to help laughing at the recollection of the old ladyclutching at the boy till he had hardly a button left, and at thepaternal air with which he now proposed a much-desired change ofcostume, as if intent on Aunt Kipp's future accommodation.Under cover of the laugh, the old lady stole back to bed, wide awake,and with subjects enough to meditate upon now. The shaking up hadcertainly done her good, for somehow the few virtues she possessedcame to the surface, and the mental shower-bath just received hadproduced a salutary change. Polly wouldn't have doubted her aunt'spossession of a heart, if she could have known the pain and lonelinessthat made it ache, as the old woman crept away; and Toady wouldn'thave laughed if he had seen the tears on the face, between the bigfrills, as Aunt Kipp laid it on the pillow, muttering, drearily,--"I might have been a happy, useful woman, but I didn't choose to, andnow it's too late."It was too late to be all she might have been, for the work ofseventy selfish years couldn't be undone in a minute. But with regret,rose the sincere wish to earn a little love before the end came, andthe old perversity gave a relish to the reformation, for even whileshe resolved to do the just and generous thing, she said to herself,--"They say I've got no heart; I'll show 'em that I have: they don'twant my money; I'll make 'em take it: they turn their backs on me;I'll just render myself so useful and agreeable that they can't dowithout me."
IIIAunt Kipp sat bolt upright in the parlor, hemming a smallhandkerchief, adorned with a red ship, surrounded by a border ofgreen monkeys. Toady suspected that this elegant article of dress wasintended for him, and yearned to possess it; so, taking advantage ofhis mother's and Polly's absence, he strolled into the room, and,seating himself on a high, hard chair, folded his hands, crossed hislegs, and asked for a story with the thirsting-for-knowledge air whichlittle boys wear in the moral story-books.Now Aunt Kipp had one soft place in her heart, though it waspartially ossified, as she very truly declared, and Toady wasenshrined therein. She thought there never was such a child, and lovedhim as she had done his father before him, though the rack wouldn'thave forced her to confess it. She scolded, snubbed, and predictedhe'd come to a bad end in public; but she forgave his naughtiestpranks, always brought him something when she came, and privatelyintended to make his future comfortable with half of her fortune.There was a dash and daring, a generosity and integrity, about thelittle fellow, that charmed her. Sophy was weak and low-spirited,Polly pretty and headstrong, and Aunt Kipp didn't think much of eitherof them; but Toady defied, distracted, and delighted her, and to Toadyshe clung, as the one sunshiny thing in her sour, selfish old age.When he made his demure request, she looked at him, and her eyes beganto twinkle, for the child's purpose was plainly seen in the lovingglances cast upon the pictorial pocket-handkerchief."A story? Yes, I'll tell you one about a little boy who had a kindold--ahem!--grandma. She was rich, and hadn't made up her mind who she'dleave her money to. She was fond of the boy,--a deal fonder than hedeserved,--for he was as mischievous a monkey as any that ever livedin a tree, with a curly tail. He put pepper in her snuff-box,"--hereToady turned scarlett,--"he cut up her bestt frisette to make a manefor his rocking-horse,"--Toady opened his mouth impulsively, but shutit again without betraying himself--"he repeated rude things to her,and called her 'an old aggrewater,'"--here Toady wriggled in hischair, and gave a little gasp."If you are tired I won't go on," observed Aunt Kipp, mildly."I'm not tired, 'm; it's a very interesting story," replied Toady,with a gravity that nearly upset the old lady."Well, in spite of all this, that kind, good, forgiving grandma leftthat bad boy twenty thousand dollars when she died. What do you thinkof that?" asked Aunt Kipp, pausing suddenly with her sharp eye on him."I--I think she was a regular dear," cried Toady, holding on to thechair with both hands, as if that climax rather took him off his legs."And what did the boy do about it?" continued Aunt Kipp, curiously."He bought a velocipede, and gave his sister half, and paid hismother's rent, and put a splendid marble cherakin over the old lady,and had a jolly good time, and--""What in the world is a cherakin?" laughed Aunt Kipp, as Toady pausedfor breath."Why, don't you know? It's a angel crying, or pointing up, or flappinghis wings. They have them over graves; and I'll give you the biggestone I can find when you die. But I'm not in a very great hurry tohave you.""Thankee, dear; I'm in no hurry, myself. But, Toady, the boy did wrongin giving his sister half; she didn't deserve any; and the grandmaleft word she wasn't to have a penny of it.""Really?" cried the boy, with a troubled face."Yes, really. If he gave her any he lost it all; the old lady said so.Now what do you think?" asked Aunt Kipp, who found it impossible topardon Polly,--perhaps because she was young, and pretty, and muchbeloved.Toady's eyes kindled, and his red cheeks grew redder still, as hecried out defiantly,--"I think she was a selfish pig,--don't you?""No, I don't, sir; and I'm sure that little boy wasn't such a fool asto lose the money. He minded his grandma's wishes, and kept it all.""No, he didn't," roared Toady, tumbling off his chair in greatexcitement. "He just threw it out a winder, and smashed the oldcherakin all to bits."Aunt Kipp dropped her work with a shrill squeak, for she thought theboy was dangerous, as he stood before her, sparring away at nothing asthe only vent for his indignation."It isn't an interesting story," he cried; "and I won't hear any more;and I won't have your money if I mayn't go halves with Polly; and I'llwork to earn more than that, and we'll all be jolly together, and youmay give your twenty thousand to the old rag-bags, and so I tell you,Aunt Kipp.""Why, Toady, my boy, what's the matter?" cried a mild voice at thedoor, as young Lamb came trotting up to the rescue."Never you mind, Baa-baa; I shan't do it; and it's a mean shame Pollycan't have half; then she could marry you and be so happy," blubberedToady, running to try to hide his tears of disappointment in thecoat-skirts of his friend."Mr. Lamb, I suppose you are that misguided young man?" said AuntKipp, as if it was a personal insult to herself."Van Bahr Lamb, ma'am, if you please. Yes, thank you," murmuredBaa-Baa, bowing, blushing, and rumpling his curly fleece in bashfultrepidation."Don't thank me," cried the old lady. "I'm not going to give youanything,--far from it. I object to you altogether. What business haveyou to come courting my niece?""Because I love her, ma'am," returned Van, with unexpected spirit."No, you don't; you want her money, or rather my money. She dependson it; but you'll both be disappointed, for she won't have a penny ofit," cried Aunt Kipp, who, in spite of her good resolutions, found itimpossible to be amiable all at once."I'm glad of it!" burst out Van, indignant at her accusation. "Ididn't want Polly for the money; I always doubted if she got it; and Inever wished her to make herself a slave to anybody. I've got enoughfor all, if we're careful; and when my share of the Van Bahr propertycomes, we shall live in clover.""What's that? What property are you talking of?" demanded Aunt Kipp,pricking up her ears."The great Van Bahr estate, ma'am. There has been a long lawsuit aboutit, but it's nearly settled, and there isn't much doubt that we shallget it. I am the last of our branch, and my share will be a largeone.""Oh, indeed! I wish you joy," said Aunt Kipp, with sudden affability;for she adored wealth, like a few other persons in the world. "Butsuppose you don't get it, how then?""Then I shall try to be contented with my salary of two thousand, andmake Polly as happy as I can. Money doesn't always make people happyor agreeable, I find." And Van looked at Aunt Kipp in a way that wouldhave made her hair stand erect if she had possessed any. She staredat him a moment, then, obeying one of the odd whims that made anirascible weathercock of her, she said, abruptly,--"If you had capital should you go into business for yourself, Mr.Lambkin?""Yes, ma'am, at once," replied Van, promptly."Suppose you lost the Van Bahr money, and some one offered you a tidylittle sum to start with, would you take it?""It would depend upon who made the offer, ma'am," said Van, lookingmore like a sheep than ever, as he stood staring in blank surprise."Suppose it was me, wouldn't you take it?" asked Aunt Kipp, blandly,for the new fancy pleased her."No, thank you, ma'am," said Van, decidedly."And why not, pray?" cried the old lady, with a shrillness that madehim jump, and Toady back to the door precipitately."Because, if you'll excuse my speaking plainly, I think you oweanything you may have to spare to your niece, Mrs. Snow;" and, havingfreed his mind, Van joined Toady, ready to fly if necessary."You're an idiot, sir," began Aunt Kipp, in a rage again."Thank you, ma'am." And Van actually laughed and bowed in return forthe compliment."Hold your tongue, sir," snapped the old lady. "You're a fool andSophy is another. She's no strength of mind, no sense about anything;and would make ducks and drakes of my money in less than no time if Igave it to her, as I've thought of doing.""Mrs. Kipp, you forget who you are speaking to. Mrs. Snow's sons loveand respect her if you don't, and they won't hear anything untrueor unkind said of a good woman, a devoted mother, and an almostfriendless widow."Van wasn't a dignified man at all, but as he said that with a suddenflash of his mild eyes, there was something in his face and mannerthat daunted Aunt Kipp more than the small fist belligerently shakenat her from behind the sofa. The poor old soul was cross, and worried,and ashamed of herself, and being as feeble-minded as Sophy in manyrespects, she suddenly burst into tears, and, covering her face withthe gay handkerchief, cried as if bent on floating the red ship in asea of salt water without delay."I'm a poor, lonely, abused old woman," she moaned, with a greenmonkey at each eye. "No one loves me, or minds me, or thanks me whenI want to help 'em. My money's only a worryment and a burden, and Idon't know what to do with it, for people I don't want to leave it toought to have it, and people I do like won't take it. Oh, deary me,what shall I do! what shall I do!""Shall I tell you, ma'am?" asked Van, gently, for, though she was avery provoking old lady, he pitied and wished to help her.A nod and a gurgle seemed to give consent, and, boldly advancing, Vansaid, with blush and a stammer, but a very hearty voice,--"I think, ma'am, if you'd do the right thing with your money you'd beat ease and find it saved a deal of worry all round. Give it to Mrs.Snow; she deserves it, poor lady, for she's had a hard time, and doneher duty faithfully. Don't wait till you are--that is, till you--well,till you in point of fact die, ma'am. Give it now, and enjoy thehappiness it will make. Give it kindly, let them see you're glad todo it, and I am sure you'll find them grateful; I'm sure you won't belonely any more, or feel that you are not loved and thanked. Try it,ma'am, just try it," cried Van, getting excited by the picture hedrew. "And I give you my word I'll do my best to respect and love youlike a son, ma'am."He knew that he was promising a great deal, but for Polly's sake hefelt that he could make even that Herculean effort. Aunt Kipp wassurprised and touched; but the contrary old lady couldn't make up hermind to yield so soon, and wouldn't have done it if Toady hadn't takenher by storm. Having a truly masculine horror of tears, a very tenderheart under his tailless jacket, and being much "tumbled up and downin his own mind" by the events of the week, the poor little lad feltnerved to attempt any novel enterprise, even that of voluntarilyembracing Aunt Kipp. First a grimy little hand came on her shoulder,as she sat sniffing behind the handkerchief; then, peeping out, shesaw an apple-cheeked face very near her own, with eyes full of pity,penitence, and affection; and then she heard a choky little voice sayearnestly,--"Don't cry, aunty; I'm sorry I was rude. Please be good to Mother andPolly, and I'll love and take care of you, and stand by you all mylife. Yes, I'll--I'll kiss you, I will, by George!" And with onepromiscuous plunge the Spartan boy cast himself into her arms.That finished Aunt Kipp; she hugged him dose, and cried out with asalute that went off like a pistol-shot,--"Oh, my dear, my dear! this is better than a dozen cherakins!"When Toady emerged, somewhat flushed and tumbled, Mrs. Snow, Polly,and Van were looking on with faces full of wonder, doubt, andsatisfaction. To be an object of interest was agreeable to AuntKipp; and, as her old heart was really softened, she met them with agracious smile, and extended the olive-branch generally."Sophy, I shall give my money to you at once and entirely, onlyasking that you'll let me stay with you when Polly's gone. I'll do mybest to be agreeable, and you'll bear with me because I'm a cranky,solitary old woman, and I loved your husband."Mrs. Snow hugged her on the spot, and gushed, of course, murmuringthanks, welcomes, and promises in one grateful burst."Polly, I forgive you; I consent to your marriage, and will provideyour wedding finery. Mr. Lamb, you are not a fool, but a veryexcellent young man. I thank you for saving my life, and I wish youwell with all my heart. You needn't say anything. I'm far from strong,and all this agitation is shortening my life."Polly and Van shook her hand heartily, and beamed upon each other likea pair of infatuated turtle-doves with good prospects."Toady, you are as near an angel as a boy can be. Put a name towhatever you most wish for in the world, and it's yours," said AuntKipp, dramatically waving the rest away.With his short legs wide apart, his hands behind him, and his rosyface as round and radiant as a rising sun, Toady stood before the firesurveying the scene with the air of a man who has successfully carriedthrough a difficult and dangerous undertaking, and wasn't proud. Hisface brightened, then fell, as he heaved a sigh, and answered, with ashake of his curly head,--"You can't give me what I want most. There are three things, and I'vegot to wait for them all.""Gracious me, what are they?" cried the old lady, good-naturedly, forshe felt better already."A mustache, a beaver, and a sweetheart," answered Toady, with hiseyes fixed wistfully on Baa-baa, who possessed all these blessings,and was particularly enjoying the latter at that moment.How Aunt Kipp did laugh at this early budding of romance in herpet! And all the rest joined her, for Toady's sentimental air wasirresistible."You precocious chick! I dare say you will have them all before weknow where we are. Never mind, deary; you shall have my little watch,and the silver-headed cane with a boar's head on it," answered theold lady, in high good-humor. "You needn't blush, dear; I don't bearmalice; so let's forget and forgive. I shall settle things to-morrow,and have a free mind. You are welcome to my money, and I hope I shalllive to see you all enjoy it."So she did; for she lived to see Sophy plump, cheery, and care-free;Polly surrounded by a flock of Lambkins; Van in possession of agenerous slice of the Van Bahr fortune; Toady revelling in the objectsof his desire; and, best of all, she lived to find that it is nevertoo late to make oneself useful, happy, and beloved.
Aunt Kipp was featured as
TheShort Story of the Day on
Sun, Feb 24, 2013
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