Both to Blame
"Of course, both are to blame.""Of course. You may always set that down as certain when you see twopersons who have formerly been on good terms fall out with eachother. For my part, I never take sides in these matters. I listen towhat both have to say, and make due allowance for the wish of eitherparty to make his or her own story appear most favorable."Thus we heard two persons settling a matter of difference between acouple of their friends, and it struck us at the time as not beingexactly the true way in all cases. In disputes and differences,there are no doubt times when both are equally to blame; mostgenerally, however, one party is more to blame than the other. Andit not unfrequently happens that one party to a difference is not atall to blame, but merely stands on a just and honorable defensive.The following story, which may or may not be from real life, willillustrate the latter position."Did you hear about Mrs. Bates and Mrs. Tarleton?" said one friendto another."No; what is the matter?""They are up in arms against each other.""Indeed; it's the first I've heard of it. What is the cause?""I can hardly tell; but I know that they don't speak. Mrs. Tarletoncomplains bitterly against Mrs. Bates; and Mrs. Bates, they say, isjust as bitter against her. For my part, I've come to the conclusionthat both are to blame.""There is no doubt of that. I never knew a case of this kind whereboth were not to blame.""Nor I.""But don't you know the ground of the difference?""They say it is about a head-dress.""I'll be bound dress has something to do with it," grumbled out Mr.Brierly, the husband of one of the ladies, who sat reading anewspaper while they were talking."My husband is disposed to be a little severe on the ladies attimes, but you musn't mind him. I never do," remarked Mrs.Brierly, half sarcastically, although she looked at her husband witha smile as she spoke. "He thinks we care for nothing but dress. Itell him it is very well for him and the rest of the world that wehave some little regard at least to such matters. I am sure if Ididn't think a good deal about dress, he and the children would soonlook like scarecrows."Mr. Brierly responded to this by a "Humph!" and resumed the perusalof his newspaper."It is said," resumed Mrs. Brierly, who had been asked to state thecause of the unhappy difference existing between the two ladies,"that Mrs. Bates received from her sister in New York a new and verybeautiful head-dress, which had been obtained through a friend inParis. Mrs. Tarleton wanted it very badly, and begged Mrs. Bates forthe pattern; but she refused to let her have it, because a grandparty was to be given by the Listons in a few weeks, and she wantedto show it off there herself. Mrs. Tarleton, however, was not goingto take 'no' for an answer; she had set her heart upon thehead-dress and must have it. You know what a persevering woman sheis when she takes anything into her head. Well, she called in almostevery day to see Mrs. Bates, and every time she would have somethingto say about the head-dress, and ask to see it. In this way she gotthe pattern of it so perfectly in her mind that she was able todirect a milliner how to make her one precisely like it. All unknownto Mrs. Bates, Mrs. Tarleton came to the party wearing this newstyle of head-dress, which made her so angry when she discovered it,that she insulted Mrs. Tarleton openly, and then retired from thecompany.""Is it possible!""That, I believe, is about the truth of the whole matter. I havesifted it pretty closely.""Well, I declare! I was at the party, but I saw nothing of this. Iremember Mrs. Tarleton's head-dress, however, very well. Itcertainly was very beautiful, and has become quite fashionablesince.""Yes, and is called by some the Tarleton head-dress, from the firstwearer of it.""This no doubt galls Mrs. Bates severely. They say she is a vainwoman.""It is more than probable that this circumstance has widened thebreach.""I must say," remarked the other lady, "that Mrs. Tarleton did notact well.""No, she certainly did not. At the same time, I think Mrs. Bates wasserved perfectly right for her selfish vanity. It wouldn't have hurther at all if there had been two or three head-dresses there ofexactly the pattern of hers. But extreme vanity always getsmortified, and in this case I think justly so.""Besides, it was very unladylike to insult Mrs. Tarleton in public.""Yes, or anywhere else. She should have taken no notice of itwhatever. A true lady, under circumstances of this kind, seemsperfectly unaware of what has occurred. She shuns, with the utmostcarefulness, any appearance of an affront at so trivial a matter,even if she feels it."Such was the opinion entertained by the ladies in regard to themisunderstanding, as some others called it, that existed betweenMrs. Bates and Mrs. Tarleton. Both were considered to blame, andnearly equally so; but whether the parties really misunderstoodtheir own or each other's true position will be seen when the truthappears.Mrs. Bates did receive, as has been stated, a beautiful head-dressfrom a sister in New York, who had obtained it from a friend inParis. The style was quite attractive, though neither unbecoming norshowy. Mrs. Bates had her own share of vanity, and wished to appearat a large party soon to take place, in this head-dress, where sheknew it must attract attention. Although a little vain, a fault thatwe can easily excuse in a handsome woman, Mrs. Bates had a highsense of justice and right, and possessed all a lady's true delicacyof feeling.The head-dress, after being admired, was laid aside for the occasionrefrered to. A few days afterwards, Mrs. Tarleton, an acquaintance,dropped in."I have something beautiful to show you," said Mrs. Bates, after shehad chatted awhile with her visitor."Indeed! What is it?""The sweetest head-dress you ever saw. My sister sent it to me fromNew York, and she had it direct from a friend in Paris, where it wasall the fashion. Mine I believe to be the only one yet received inthe city, and I mean to wear it at Mrs. Liston's party."Do let me see it," said Mrs. Tarleton, all alive with expectation.She had an extravagant love of dress, and was an exceedingly vainwoman.The head-dress was produced. Mrs. Tarleton lifted her hands andeyes."The loveliest thing I ever saw! Let me try it on," she said, layingoff her bonnet and taking the head-dress from the hands of Mrs.Bates. "Oh, it is sweet! I never looked so well in anything in mylife," she continued, viewing herself in the glass. "I wish I couldbeg it from you; but that I havn't the heart to do."Mrs. Bates smiled and shook her head, but made no reply."Here, you put it on, and let me see how you look in it," went onMrs. Tarleton, removing the cap from her own head and placing itupon that of her friend. "Beautiful! How well it becomes you! youmust let me have the pattern. We can wear them together at theparty. Two will attract more attention than one.""I am sorry to deny you," replied Mrs. Bates, "but I think I shallhave to be alone in my glory this time.""Indeed, you must let me have the pattern, Mrs. Bates. I never sawanything in my life that pleased me so much, nor anything in which Ilooked so well. I have been all over town for a head-dress withoutfnding anything I would wear. If you don't let me have one likeyours, I do not know what I will do. Come now, say yes, that is adear."But Mrs. Bates said no as gently as she could. It was asking of hertoo much. She had set her heart upon appearing in that head-dress assomething new and beautiful, and could not consent to share thedistinction, especially with Mrs. Tarleton, for whom, although afriend, she entertained not the highest esteem, and for the reasonthat Mrs. Tarleton had rather a vulgar mind, and lacked a lady'strue perceptions of propriety."Well, I must say you are a selfish woman," returned Mrs. Tarleton,good-humoredly, and yet meaning what she said. "It wouldn't do you abit of harm to let me have the pattern, and would gratify me morethan I can tell.""I'll tell you what I will do," said Mrs. Bates, to this, with areluctant effort that was readily perceived by her visitor, "I willgive you the head-dress and let you wear it, as long as you seem tohave set your heart so upon it.""Oh no, no; you know I wouldn't do that. But it seems strange thatyou are not willing for us to wear the same head-dress."The indelicate pertinacity of her visitor annoyed Mrs. Bates verymuch, and she replied to this rather more seriously than she hadbefore spoken."The fact is, Mrs. Tarleton," she said, "this head-dress is one thatcannot fail to attract attention. I have several very intimatefriends, between whom and myself relations of even a closer kindexist than have yet existed between you and me. If I give you thepattern of this cap and the privilege of wearing it with me for thefirst time it is seen in this city, these friends will have justcause to think hard of me for passing them by. This is a reason thatwould inevitably prevent me from meeting your wishes, even if I wereindifferent about appearing in it myself alone.""I suppose I must give it up, then," said Mrs. Tarleton, in aslightly disappointed tone."As I said before," returned Mrs. Bates, "I will defer the matterentirely to you. You shall have the head-dress and I will choosesome other one.""Oh no; I couldn't think of such a thing," returned Mrs. Tarleton."That is more than I ought to ask or you to give.""It is the best I can do," Mrs. Bates said, with a quiet smile."Sister," said Mrs. Tarleton, on returning home, "you can't imaginewhat a sweet head-dress Mrs. Bates has just received from Paristhrough her sister in New York. It is the most unique and beautifulthing I ever saw. I tried hard for the pattern, but the selfishcreature wouldn't let me have it. She is keeping it for the Liston'sparty, where it will be the admiration of every one.""What is it like?""Oh, I can't begin to describe it. It is altogether novel. I wishnow I had asked her to let me bring it home to show it to you.""I wish you had. You must go there again and get it for me.""I believe I will call in again to-morrow.--Perhaps she will havethought better of it by that time, and changed her mind. At anyrate, if not, I will ask her to let me bring it home and show it toyou."This was done. Mrs. Bates did not object to letting Mrs. Tarletontake the head-dress and show it to her sister, for she had thefullest confidence that she would not do anything with it that sheknew was against her wishes, which had been clearly expressed.The sister of Mrs. Tarleton was in raptures with the head-dress."It is right down mean and selfish in Mrs. Bates not to let you havethe pattern," she said. "What a vain woman she must be. I alwaysthought better of her.""So did I. But this shows what she is.""If I were you," remarked the sister, "I would have it in spite ofher. It isn't her pattern, that she need pretend hold it soexclusively. It is a Paris fashion, and any body else may get itjust as well as she. She has no property in it.""No, of course not.""Then while you have the chance, take it to Madame Pinto and get herto make you one exactly like it.""I have a great mind to do it; it would serve her perfectly right.""I wouldn't hesitate a moment," urged the sister. "At the lastparty, Mrs. Bates managed to have on something new that attractedevery one and threw others into the shade, I wouldn't let her haveanother such triumph."Thus urged by her sister, Mrs. Tarleton yielded to the evil counsel,which was seconded by her own heart. The head-dress was taken toMadame Pinto, who, after a careful examination of it, said that shewould make one exactly similar for Mrs. Tarleton. After charging themilliner over and over again to keep the matter a profound secret,Mrs. Tarleton went away and returned the head-dress to Mrs. Bates.It had been in her possession only a couple of hours.Mrs. Pinto was a fashionable milliner and dress maker, and waspatronized by the most fashionable people in the city, Mrs. Batesamong the rest. The latter had called in the aid of this woman inthe preparation of various little matters of dress to be worn at theparty. Three or four days after Mrs. Tarleton's visit to Mrs. Pintowith the head-dress, Mrs. Bates happened to step in at themilliner's, who, during their consultation, about little matters ofdress, drew the lady aside, saying--"I've got something that I knowI can venture to show you.--It's for the party, and the loveliestthing you ever saw."As she said this she took from a box a facsimile of Mrs. Bates' ownbeautiful head-dress, and held it up with looks of admiration."Isn't it sweet?" she said."It is the most beautiful head-dress I ever saw," replied Mrs.Bates, concealing her surprise. "Who is it for?""It's a secret, but I can tell you. It is for Mrs. Tarleton.""Ah! Where did she get the pattern?""I don't know; she brought it here, but said she couldn't leave itfor the world. I had to study it all out, and then make it from myrecollection of the pattern.""The pattern did not belong to her?""Oh, no. Somebody had it who was going to show it off at the party,she said; but she meant to surprise her.""Have you any new patterns for head-dresses not chosen by the ladieswho have made selections of you for Mrs. Liston's party?" asked Mrs.Bates, not seeming to notice the reply of Mrs. Pinto."Oh, yes, ma'am, a good many," and half-a-dozen really handsomehead-dresses were shown--none, however, that pleased her half sowell as the one she was about throwing aside. She suited herselffrom the assortment shown her, and directed it to be sent home.Mrs. Bates felt justly outraged at the conduct of Mrs. Tarleton, butshe did not speak of what had taken place, except to one or two veryintimate friends and to her husband. The evening of the party atlength arrived. Mrs. Tarleton was there a little earlier than Mrs.Bates, in all the glory of her ungenerous triumph. The beautifulhead-dress she wore attracted every eye, and in the admiration wonby the display of her taste, she lost all the shame she had felt inanticipation of meeting Mrs. Bates, to whom her meanness anddishonesty would be at once apparent.At length she saw this lady enter the parlors by the side of herhusband, and noticed with surprise that her head-dress was entirelydifferent from the one she wore. The truth flashed across her mind.Mrs. Pinto had betrayed her secret, and Mrs. Bates, justly outragedby what had occurred, had thrown aside her beautiful cap andselected another.Now Mrs. Bates was a woman whom Mrs. Tarleton would be sorry tooffend seriously, because her position in certain circles wasundoubted, while her own was a little questionable. The fact thatMrs. Bates had declined wearing so beautiful a head-dress becauseshe had obtained one of the same pattern by unfair means, made herfear that serious offence had been given, and dashed her spirits atonce. She was not long left in doubt. Before ten minutes had elapsedshe was thrown into immediate contact with Mrs. Bates, from whom shereceived a polite but cold bow.Mrs. Tarleton was both hurt and offended at this, and immediatelyafter the party, commenced talking about it and mis-stating thewhole transaction, so as not to appear so much to blame as shereally was. Mrs. Bates, on the contrary, said little on the subject,except to a few very intimate friends, and to those who made free toask her about it, to whom she said, after giving fairly the cause ofcomplaint against Mrs. Tarleton--"I spoke to her coldly because Iwished our more intimate acquaintance to cease. Her conduct wasunworthy of a lady, and therefore I cannot and will not consider heramong my friends. No apologies, if she would even make them, couldchange the wrong spirit from which she acted, or make her any moreworthy of my confidence, esteem or love.""But you will surely forgive her?" said one."The wrong done to me I am ready enough to forgive, for it is but atrifling matter; but the violation of confidence and departure froma truly honest principle, of which she has been guilty, I cannotforgive, for they are not sins against me, but against Heaven'sfirst and best laws."But that did not satisfy some. Persons calling themselves mutualfriends strove hard to reconcile what they were pleased to call amisunderstanding in which "both were to blame." But it availed not.To their interference, Mrs. Bates usually replied--"If it will beany satisfaction to Mrs. Tarleton to be recognized by me and treatedkindly and politely in company, I will most cheerfully yield her allthat; but I cannot feel towards her as heretofore, because I havebeen deceived in her, and find her to be governed by principles thatI cannot approve. We can never again be on terms of intimacy."But it was impossible to make some understand the difference betweenacting from principle and wounded pride. The version given by Mrs.Tarleton was variously modified as it passed from mouth to mouth,until it made Mrs. Bates almost as much to blame as herself, andfinally, as the coldness continued until all intercourse at lastceased, it was pretty generally conceded, except by a very few, that"both were about equally to blame."The reader can now make up his own mind on the subject from what hasbeen related. For our part, we do not think Mrs. Bates at all toblame in at once withdrawing herself from intimate association withsuch a woman as Mrs. Tarleton showed herself to be, and we considerthat a false charity which would seek to interfere with or set asidethe honest indignation that should always be felt in similar casesof open betrayal of confidence and violation of honest and honorableprinciples.We have chosen a very simple and commonplace incident upon which to"hang a moral."--But it is in the ordinary pursuits of business andpleasure where the true character is most prone to exhibit itself,and we must go there if we would read the book of human life aright.
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