PART I - CHAPTER L.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF THE SHREWD CONTROVERSY WHICH DON QUIXOTE AND THE CANON HELD, TOGETHERWITH OTHER INCIDENTS"A good joke, that!" returned Don Quixote. "Books that have been printedwith the king's licence, and with the approbation of those to whom theyhave been submitted, and read with universal delight, and extolled bygreat and small, rich and poor, learned and ignorant, gentle and simple,in a word by people of every sort, of whatever rank or condition they maybe--that these should be lies! And above all when they carry such anappearance of truth with them; for they tell us the father, mother,country, kindred, age, place, and the achievements, step by step, and dayby day, performed by such a knight or knights! Hush, sir; utter not suchblasphemy; trust me I am advising you now to act as a sensible manshould; only read them, and you will see the pleasure you will derivefrom them. For, come, tell me, can there be anything more delightful thanto see, as it were, here now displayed before us a vast lake of bubblingpitch with a host of snakes and serpents and lizards, and ferocious andterrible creatures of all sorts swimming about in it, while from themiddle of the lake there comes a plaintive voice saying: 'Knight,whosoever thou art who beholdest this dread lake, if thou wouldst win theprize that lies hidden beneath these dusky waves, prove the valour of thystout heart and cast thyself into the midst of its dark burning waters,else thou shalt not be worthy to see the mighty wonders contained in theseven castles of the seven Fays that lie beneath this black expanse;' andthen the knight, almost ere the awful voice has ceased, without stoppingto consider, without pausing to reflect upon the danger to which he isexposing himself, without even relieving himself of the weight of hismassive armour, commending himself to God and to his lady, plunges intothe midst of the boiling lake, and when he little looks for it, or knowswhat his fate is to be, he finds himself among flowery meadows, withwhich the Elysian fields are not to be compared."The sky seems more transparent there, and the sun shines with a strangebrilliancy, and a delightful grove of green leafy trees presents itselfto the eyes and charms the sight with its verdure, while the ear issoothed by the sweet untutored melody of the countless birds of gayplumage that flit to and fro among the interlacing branches. Here he seesa brook whose limpid waters, like liquid crystal, ripple over fine sandsand white pebbles that look like sifted gold and purest pearls. There heperceives a cunningly wrought fountain of many-coloured jasper andpolished marble; here another of rustic fashion where the littlemussel-shells and the spiral white and yellow mansions of the snaildisposed in studious disorder, mingled with fragments of glitteringcrystal and mock emeralds, make up a work of varied aspect, where art,imitating nature, seems to have outdone it."Suddenly there is presented to his sight a strong castle or gorgeouspalace with walls of massy gold, turrets of diamond and gates of jacinth;in short, so marvellous is its structure that though the materials ofwhich it is built are nothing less than diamonds, carbuncles, rubies,pearls, gold, and emeralds, the workmanship is still more rare. And afterhaving seen all this, what can be more charming than to see how a bevy ofdamsels comes forth from the gate of the castle in gay and gorgeousattire, such that, were I to set myself now to depict it as the historiesdescribe it to us, I should never have done; and then how she who seemsto be the first among them all takes the bold knight who plunged into theboiling lake by the hand, and without addressing a word to him leads himinto the rich palace or castle, and strips him as naked as when hismother bore him, and bathes him in lukewarm water, and anoints him allover with sweet-smelling unguents, and clothes him in a shirt of thesoftest sendal, all scented and perfumed, while another damsel comes andthrows over his shoulders a mantle which is said to be worth at the veryleast a city, and even more? How charming it is, then, when they tell ushow, after all this, they lead him to another chamber where he finds thetables set out in such style that he is filled with amazement and wonder;to see how they pour out water for his hands distilled from amber andsweet-scented flowers; how they seat him on an ivory chair; to see howthe damsels wait on him all in profound silence; how they bring him sucha variety of dainties so temptingly prepared that the appetite is at aloss which to select; to hear the music that resounds while he is attable, by whom or whence produced he knows not. And then when the repastis over and the tables removed, for the knight to recline in the chair,picking his teeth perhaps as usual, and a damsel, much lovelier than anyof the others, to enter unexpectedly by the chamber door, and herself byhis side, and begin to tell him what the castle is, and how she is heldenchanted there, and other things that amaze the knight and astonish thereaders who are perusing his history."But I will not expatiate any further upon this, as it may be gatheredfrom it that whatever part of whatever history of a knight-errant onereads, it will fill the reader, whoever he be, with delight and wonder;and take my advice, sir, and, as I said before, read these books and youwill see how they will banish any melancholy you may feel and raise yourspirits should they be depressed. For myself I can say that since I havebeen a knight-errant I have become valiant, polite, generous, well-bred,magnanimous, courteous, dauntless, gentle, patient, and have learned tobear hardships, imprisonments, and enchantments; and though it be such ashort time since I have seen myself shut up in a cage like a madman, Ihope by the might of my arm, if heaven aid me and fortune thwart me not,to see myself king of some kingdom where I may be able to show thegratitude and generosity that dwell in my heart; for by my faith, senor,the poor man is incapacitated from showing the virtue of generosity toanyone, though he may possess it in the highest degree; and gratitudethat consists of disposition only is a dead thing, just as faith withoutworks is dead. For this reason I should be glad were fortune soon tooffer me some opportunity of making myself an emperor, so as to show myheart in doing good to my friends, particularly to this poor SanchoPanza, my squire, who is the best fellow in the world; and I would gladlygive him a county I have promised him this ever so long, only that I amafraid he has not the capacity to govern his realm."Sancho partly heard these last words of his master, and said to him,"Strive hard you, Senor Don Quixote, to give me that county so oftenpromised by you and so long looked for by me, for I promise you therewill be no want of capacity in me to govern it; and even if there is, Ihave heard say there are men in the world who farm seigniories, paying somuch a year, and they themselves taking charge of the government, whilethe lord, with his legs stretched out, enjoys the revenue they pay him,without troubling himself about anything else. That's what I'll do, andnot stand haggling over trifles, but wash my hands at once of the wholebusiness, and enjoy my rents like a duke, and let things go their ownway.""That, brother Sancho," said the canon, "only holds good as far as theenjoyment of the revenue goes; but the lord of the seigniory must attendto the administration of justice, and here capacity and sound judgmentcome in, and above all a firm determination to find out the truth; for ifthis be wanting in the beginning, the middle and the end will always gowrong; and God as commonly aids the honest intentions of the simple as hefrustrates the evil designs of the crafty.""I don't understand those philosophies," returned Sancho Panza; "all Iknow is I would I had the county as soon as I shall know how to governit; for I have as much soul as another, and as much body as anyone, and Ishall be as much king of my realm as any other of his; and being so Ishould do as I liked, and doing as I liked I should please myself, andpleasing myself I should be content, and when one is content he hasnothing more to desire, and when one has nothing more to desire there isan end of it; so let the county come, and God he with you, and let us seeone another, as one blind man said to the other.""That is not bad philosophy thou art talking, Sancho," said the canon;"but for all that there is a good deal to be said on this matter ofcounties."To which Don Quixote returned, "I know not what more there is to be said;I only guide myself by the example set me by the great Amadis of Gaul,when he made his squire count of the Insula Firme; and so, without anyscruples of conscience, I can make a count of Sancho Panza, for he is oneof the best squires that ever knight-errant had."The canon was astonished at the methodical nonsense (if nonsense becapable of method) that Don Quixote uttered, at the way in which he haddescribed the adventure of the knight of the lake, at the impression thatthe deliberate lies of the books he read had made upon him, and lastly hemarvelled at the simplicity of Sancho, who desired so eagerly to obtainthe county his master had promised him.By this time the canon's servants, who had gone to the inn to fetch thesumpter mule, had returned, and making a carpet and the green grass ofthe meadow serve as a table, they seated themselves in the shade of sometrees and made their repast there, that the carter might not be deprivedof the advantage of the spot, as has been already said. As they wereeating they suddenly heard a loud noise and the sound of a bell thatseemed to come from among some brambles and thick bushes that were closeby, and the same instant they observed a beautiful goat, spotted all overblack, white, and brown, spring out of the thicket with a goatherd afterit, calling to it and uttering the usual cries to make it stop or turnback to the fold. The fugitive goat, scared and frightened, ran towardsthe company as if seeking their protection and then stood still, and thegoatherd coming up seized it by the horns and began to talk to it as ifit were possessed of reason and understanding: "Ah wanderer, wanderer,Spotty, Spotty; how have you gone limping all this time? What wolves havefrightened you, my daughter? Won't you tell me what is the matter, mybeauty? But what else can it be except that you are a she, and cannotkeep quiet? A plague on your humours and the humours of those you takeafter! Come back, come back, my darling; and if you will not be so happy,at any rate you will be safe in the fold or with your companions; for ifyou who ought to keep and lead them, go wandering astray, what willbecome of them?"The goatherd's talk amused all who heard it, but especially the canon,who said to him, "As you live, brother, take it easy, and be not in sucha hurry to drive this goat back to the fold; for, being a female, as yousay, she will follow her natural instinct in spite of all you can do toprevent it. Take this morsel and drink a sup, and that will soothe yourirritation, and in the meantime the goat will rest herself," and sosaying, he handed him the loins of a cold rabbit on a fork.The goatherd took it with thanks, and drank and calmed himself, and thensaid, "I should be sorry if your worships were to take me for a simpletonfor having spoken so seriously as I did to this animal; but the truth isthere is a certain mystery in the words I used. I am a clown, but not somuch of one but that I know how to behave to men and to beasts.""That I can well believe," said the curate, "for I know already byexperience that the woods breed men of learning, and shepherds' harbourphilosophers.""At all events, senor," returned the goatherd, "they shelter men ofexperience; and that you may see the truth of this and grasp it, though Imay seem to put myself forward without being asked, I will, if it willnot tire you, gentlemen, and you will give me your attention for alittle, tell you a true story which will confirm this gentleman's word(and he pointed to the curate) as well as my own."To this Don Quixote replied, "Seeing that this affair has a certaincolour of chivalry about it, I for my part, brother, will hear you mostgladly, and so will all these gentlemen, from the high intelligence theypossess and their love of curious novelties that interest, charm, andentertain the mind, as I feel quite sure your story will do. So begin,friend, for we are all prepared to listen.""I draw my stakes," said Sancho, "and will retreat with this pasty to thebrook there, where I mean to victual myself for three days; for I haveheard my lord, Don Quixote, say that a knight-errant's squire should eatuntil he can hold no more, whenever he has the chance, because it oftenhappens them to get by accident into a wood so thick that they cannotfind a way out of it for six days; and if the man is not well filled orhis alforjas well stored, there he may stay, as very often he does,turned into a dried mummy.""Thou art in the right of it, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "go where thouwilt and eat all thou canst, for I have had enough, and only want to givemy mind its refreshment, as I shall by listening to this good fellow'sstory.""It is what we shall all do," said the canon; and then begged thegoatherd to begin the promised tale.The goatherd gave the goat which he held by the horns a couple of slapson the back, saying, "Lie down here beside me, Spotty, for we have timeenough to return to our fold." The goat seemed to understand him, for asher master seated himself, she stretched herself quietly beside him andlooked up in his face to show him she was all attention to what he wasgoing to say, and then in these words he began his story.