PART I - CHAPTER XXX.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　WHICH TREATS OF ADDRESS DISPLAYED BY THE FAIR DOROTHEA, WITH OTHERMATTERS PLEASANT AND AMUSINGThe curate had hardly ceased speaking, when Sancho said, "In faith, then,senor licentiate, he who did that deed was my master; and it was not forwant of my telling him beforehand and warning him to mind what he wasabout, and that it was a sin to set them at liberty, as they were all onthe march there because they were special scoundrels.""Blockhead!" said Don Quixote at this, "it is no business or concern ofknights-errant to inquire whether any persons in affliction, in chains,or oppressed that they may meet on the high roads go that way and sufferas they do because of their faults or because of their misfortunes. Itonly concerns them to aid them as persons in need of help, having regardto their sufferings and not to their rascalities. I encountered a chapletor string of miserable and unfortunate people, and did for them what mysense of duty demands of me, and as for the rest be that as it may; andwhoever takes objection to it, saving the sacred dignity of the senorlicentiate and his honoured person, I say he knows little about chivalryand lies like a whoreson villain, and this I will give him to know to thefullest extent with my sword;" and so saying he settled himself in hisstirrups and pressed down his morion; for the barber's basin, whichaccording to him was Mambrino's helmet, he carried hanging at thesaddle-bow until he could repair the damage done to it by the galleyslaves.Dorothea, who was shrewd and sprightly, and by this time thoroughlyunderstood Don Quixote's crazy turn, and that all except Sancho Panzawere making game of him, not to be behind the rest said to him, onobserving his irritation, "Sir Knight, remember the boon you havepromised me, and that in accordance with it you must not engage in anyother adventure, be it ever so pressing; calm yourself, for if thelicentiate had known that the galley slaves had been set free by thatunconquered arm he would have stopped his mouth thrice over, or evenbitten his tongue three times before he would have said a word thattended towards disrespect of your worship.""That I swear heartily," said the curate, "and I would have even pluckedoff a moustache.""I will hold my peace, senora," said Don Quixote, "and I will curb thenatural anger that had arisen in my breast, and will proceed in peace andquietness until I have fulfilled my promise; but in return for thisconsideration I entreat you to tell me, if you have no objection to doso, what is the nature of your trouble, and how many, who, and what arethe persons of whom I am to require due satisfaction, and on whom I am totake vengeance on your behalf?""That I will do with all my heart," replied Dorothea, "if it will not bewearisome to you to hear of miseries and misfortunes.""It will not be wearisome, senora," said Don Quixote; to which Dorotheareplied, "Well, if that be so, give me your attention." As soon as shesaid this, Cardenio and the barber drew close to her side, eager to hearwhat sort of story the quick-witted Dorothea would invent for herself;and Sancho did the same, for he was as much taken in by her as hismaster; and she having settled herself comfortably in the saddle, andwith the help of coughing and other preliminaries taken time to think,began with great sprightliness of manner in this fashion."First of all, I would have you know, sirs, that my name is-" and hereshe stopped for a moment, for she forgot the name the curate had givenher; but he came to her relief, seeing what her difficulty was, and said,"It is no wonder, senora, that your highness should be confused andembarrassed in telling the tale of your misfortunes; for such afflictionsoften have the effect of depriving the sufferers of memory, so that theydo not even remember their own names, as is the case now with yourladyship, who has forgotten that she is called the Princess Micomicona,lawful heiress of the great kingdom of Micomicon; and with this cue yourhighness may now recall to your sorrowful recollection all you may wishto tell us.""That is the truth," said the damsel; "but I think from this on I shallhave no need of any prompting, and I shall bring my true story safe intoport, and here it is. The king my father, who was called Tinacrio theSapient, was very learned in what they call magic arts, and became awareby his craft that my mother, who was called Queen Jaramilla, was to diebefore he did, and that soon after he too was to depart this life, and Iwas to be left an orphan without father or mother. But all this, hedeclared, did not so much grieve or distress him as his certain knowledgethat a prodigious giant, the lord of a great island close to our kingdom,Pandafilando of the Scowl by name--for it is averred that, though hiseyes are properly placed and straight, he always looks askew as if hesquinted, and this he does out of malignity, to strike fear and terrorinto those he looks at--that he knew, I say, that this giant on becomingaware of my orphan condition would overrun my kingdom with a mighty forceand strip me of all, not leaving me even a small village to shelter me;but that I could avoid all this ruin and misfortune if I were willing tomarry him; however, as far as he could see, he never expected that Iwould consent to a marriage so unequal; and he said no more than thetruth in this, for it has never entered my mind to marry that giant, orany other, let him be ever so great or enormous. My father said, too,that when he was dead, and I saw Pandafilando about to invade my kingdom,I was not to wait and attempt to defend myself, for that would bedestructive to me, but that I should leave the kingdom entirely open tohim if I wished to avoid the death and total destruction of my good andloyal vassals, for there would be no possibility of defending myselfagainst the giant's devilish power; and that I should at once with someof my followers set out for Spain, where I should obtain relief in mydistress on finding a certain knight-errant whose fame by that time wouldextend over the whole kingdom, and who would be called, if I rememberrightly, Don Azote or Don Gigote.""'Don Quixote,' he must have said, senora," observed Sancho at this,"otherwise called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.""That is it," said Dorothea; "he said, moreover, that he would be tall ofstature and lank featured; and that on his right side under the leftshoulder, or thereabouts, he would have a grey mole with hairs likebristles."On hearing this, Don Quixote said to his squire, "Here, Sancho my son,bear a hand and help me to strip, for I want to see if I am the knightthat sage king foretold.""What does your worship want to strip for?" said Dorothea."To see if I have that mole your father spoke of," answered Don Quixote."There is no occasion to strip," said Sancho; "for I know your worshiphas just such a mole on the middle of your backbone, which is the mark ofa strong man.""That is enough," said Dorothea, "for with friends we must not look tooclosely into trifles; and whether it be on the shoulder or on thebackbone matters little; it is enough if there is a mole, be it where itmay, for it is all the same flesh; no doubt my good father hit the truthin every particular, and I have made a lucky hit in commending myself toDon Quixote; for he is the one my father spoke of, as the features of hiscountenance correspond with those assigned to this knight by that widefame he has acquired not only in Spain but in all La Mancha; for I hadscarcely landed at Osuna when I heard such accounts of his achievements,that at once my heart told me he was the very one I had come in searchof.""But how did you land at Osuna, senora," asked Don Quixote, "when it isnot a seaport?"But before Dorothea could reply the curate anticipated her, saying, "Theprincess meant to say that after she had landed at Malaga the first placewhere she heard of your worship was Osuna.""That is what I meant to say," said Dorothea."And that would be only natural," said the curate. "Will your majestyplease proceed?""There is no more to add," said Dorothea, "save that in finding DonQuixote I have had such good fortune, that I already reckon and regardmyself queen and mistress of my entire dominions, since of his courtesyand magnanimity he has granted me the boon of accompanying mewhithersoever I may conduct him, which will be only to bring him face toface with Pandafilando of the Scowl, that he may slay him and restore tome what has been unjustly usurped by him: for all this must come to passsatisfactorily since my good father Tinacrio the Sapient foretold it, wholikewise left it declared in writing in Chaldee or Greek characters (forI cannot read them), that if this predicted knight, after having cut thegiant's throat, should be disposed to marry me I was to offer myself atonce without demur as his lawful wife, and yield him possession of mykingdom together with my person.""What thinkest thou now, friend Sancho?" said Don Quixote at this."Hearest thou that? Did I not tell thee so? See how we have already got akingdom to govern and a queen to marry!""On my oath it is so," said Sancho; "and foul fortune to him who won'tmarry after slitting Senor Pandahilado's windpipe! And then, howill-favoured the queen is! I wish the fleas in my bed were that sort!"And so saying he cut a couple of capers in the air with every sign ofextreme satisfaction, and then ran to seize the bridle of Dorothea'smule, and checking it fell on his knees before her, begging her to givehim her hand to kiss in token of his acknowledgment of her as his queenand mistress. Which of the bystanders could have helped laughing to seethe madness of the master and the simplicity of the servant? Dorotheatherefore gave her hand, and promised to make him a great lord in herkingdom, when Heaven should be so good as to permit her to recover andenjoy it, for which Sancho returned thanks in words that set them alllaughing again."This, sirs," continued Dorothea, "is my story; it only remains to tellyou that of all the attendants I took with me from my kingdom I have noneleft except this well-bearded squire, for all were drowned in a greattempest we encountered when in sight of port; and he and I came to landon a couple of planks as if by a miracle; and indeed the whole course ofmy life is a miracle and a mystery as you may have observed; and if Ihave been over minute in any respect or not as precise as I ought, let itbe accounted for by what the licentiate said at the beginning of my tale,that constant and excessive troubles deprive the sufferers of theirmemory.""They shall not deprive me of mine, exalted and worthy princess," saidDon Quixote, "however great and unexampled those which I shall endure inyour service may be; and here I confirm anew the boon I have promisedyou, and I swear to go with you to the end of the world until I findmyself in the presence of your fierce enemy, whose haughty head I trustby the aid of my arm to cut off with the edge of this--I will not saygood sword, thanks to Gines de Pasamonte who carried away mine"--(this hesaid between his teeth, and then continued), "and when it has been cutoff and you have been put in peaceful possession of your realm it shallbe left to your own decision to dispose of your person as may be mostpleasing to you; for so long as my memory is occupied, my will enslaved,and my understanding enthralled by her-I say no more--it is impossiblefor me for a moment to contemplate marriage, even with a Phoenix."The last words of his master about not wanting to marry were sodisagreeable to Sancho that raising his voice he exclaimed with greatirritation:"By my oath, Senor Don Quixote, you are not in your right senses; for howcan your worship possibly object to marrying such an exalted princess asthis? Do you think Fortune will offer you behind every stone such a pieceof luck as is offered you now? Is my lady Dulcinea fairer, perchance? Notshe; nor half as fair; and I will even go so far as to say she does notcome up to the shoe of this one here. A poor chance I have of gettingthat county I am waiting for if your worship goes looking for dainties inthe bottom of the sea. In the devil's name, marry, marry, and take thiskingdom that comes to hand without any trouble, and when you are kingmake me a marquis or governor of a province, and for the rest let thedevil take it all."Don Quixote, when he heard such blasphemies uttered against his ladyDulcinea, could not endure it, and lifting his pike, without sayinganything to Sancho or uttering a word, he gave him two such thwacks thathe brought him to the ground; and had it not been that Dorothea cried outto him to spare him he would have no doubt taken his life on the spot."Do you think," he said to him after a pause, "you scurvy clown, that youare to be always interfering with me, and that you are to be alwaysoffending and I always pardoning? Don't fancy it, impious scoundrel, forthat beyond a doubt thou art, since thou hast set thy tongue goingagainst the peerless Dulcinea. Know you not, lout, vagabond, beggar, thatwere it not for the might that she infuses into my arm I should not havestrength enough to kill a flea? Say, scoffer with a viper's tongue, whatthink you has won this kingdom and cut off this giant's head and made youa marquis (for all this I count as already accomplished and decided), butthe might of Dulcinea, employing my arm as the instrument of herachievements? She fights in me and conquers in me, and I live and breathein her, and owe my life and being to her. O whoreson scoundrel, howungrateful you are, you see yourself raised from the dust of the earth tobe a titled lord, and the return you make for so great a benefit is tospeak evil of her who has conferred it upon you!"Sancho was not so stunned but that he heard all his master said, andrising with some degree of nimbleness he ran to place himself behindDorothea's palfrey, and from that position he said to his master:"Tell me, senor; if your worship is resolved not to marry this greatprincess, it is plain the kingdom will not be yours; and not being so,how can you bestow favours upon me? That is what I complain of. Let yourworship at any rate marry this queen, now that we have got her here as ifshowered down from heaven, and afterwards you may go back to my ladyDulcinea; for there must have been kings in the world who keptmistresses. As to beauty, I have nothing to do with it; and if the truthis to be told, I like them both; though I have never seen the ladyDulcinea.""How! never seen her, blasphemous traitor!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "hastthou not just now brought me a message from her?""I mean," said Sancho, "that I did not see her so much at my leisure thatI could take particular notice of her beauty, or of her charms piecemeal;but taken in the lump I like her.""Now I forgive thee," said Don Quixote; "and do thou forgive me theinjury I have done thee; for our first impulses are not in our control.""That I see," replied Sancho, "and with me the wish to speak is alwaysthe first impulse, and I cannot help saying, once at any rate, what Ihave on the tip of my tongue.""For all that, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "take heed of what thou sayest,for the pitcher goes so often to the well--I need say no more to thee.""Well, well," said Sancho, "God is in heaven, and sees all tricks, andwill judge who does most harm, I in not speaking right, or your worshipin not doing it.""That is enough," said Dorothea; "run, Sancho, and kiss your lord's handand beg his pardon, and henceforward be more circumspect with your praiseand abuse; and say nothing in disparagement of that lady Toboso, of whomI know nothing save that I am her servant; and put your trust in God, foryou will not fail to obtain some dignity so as to live like a prince."Sancho advanced hanging his head and begged his master's hand, which DonQuixote with dignity presented to him, giving him his blessing as soon ashe had kissed it; he then bade him go on ahead a little, as he hadquestions to ask him and matters of great importance to discuss with him.Sancho obeyed, and when the two had gone some distance in advance DonQuixote said to him, "Since thy return I have had no opportunity or timeto ask thee many particulars touching thy mission and the answer thouhast brought back, and now that chance has granted us the time andopportunity, deny me not the happiness thou canst give me by such goodnews.""Let your worship ask what you will," answered Sancho, "for I shall finda way out of all as as I found a way in; but I implore you, senor, notnot to be so revengeful in future.""Why dost thou say that, Sancho?" said Don Quixote."I say it," he returned, "because those blows just now were more becauseof the quarrel the devil stirred up between us both the other night, thanfor what I said against my lady Dulcinea, whom I love and reverence as Iwould a relic--though there is nothing of that about her--merely assomething belonging to your worship.""Say no more on that subject for thy life, Sancho," said Don Quixote,"for it is displeasing to me; I have already pardoned thee for that, andthou knowest the common saying, 'for a fresh sin a fresh penance.'"While this was going on they saw coming along the road they werefollowing a man mounted on an ass, who when he came close seemed to be agipsy; but Sancho Panza, whose eyes and heart were there wherever he sawasses, no sooner beheld the man than he knew him to be Gines dePasamonte; and by the thread of the gipsy he got at the ball, his ass,for it was, in fact, Dapple that carried Pasamonte, who to escaperecognition and to sell the ass had disguised himself as a gipsy, beingable to speak the gipsy language, and many more, as well as if they werehis own. Sancho saw him and recognised him, and the instant he did so heshouted to him, "Ginesillo, you thief, give up my treasure, release mylife, embarrass thyself not with my repose, quit my ass, leave mydelight, be off, rip, get thee gone, thief, and give up what is notthine."There was no necessity for so many words or objurgations, for at thefirst one Gines jumped down, and at a like racing speed made off and gotclear of them all. Sancho hastened to his Dapple, and embracing him hesaid, "How hast thou fared, my blessing, Dapple of my eyes, my comrade?"all the while kissing him and caressing him as if he were a human being.The ass held his peace, and let himself be kissed and caressed by Sanchowithout answering a single word. They all came up and congratulated himon having found Dapple, Don Quixote especially, who told him thatnotwithstanding this he would not cancel the order for the threeass-colts, for which Sancho thanked him.While the two had been going along conversing in this fashion, the curateobserved to Dorothea that she had shown great cleverness, as well in thestory itself as in its conciseness, and the resemblance it bore to thoseof the books of chivalry. She said that she had many times amused herselfreading them; but that she did not know the situation of the provinces orseaports, and so she had said at haphazard that she had landed at Osuna."So I saw," said the curate, "and for that reason I made haste to saywhat I did, by which it was all set right. But is it not a strange thingto see how readily this unhappy gentleman believes all these figments andlies, simply because they are in the style and manner of the absurditiesof his books?""So it is," said Cardenio; "and so uncommon and unexampled, that were oneto attempt to invent and concoct it in fiction, I doubt if there be anywit keen enough to imagine it.""But another strange thing about it," said the curate, "is that, apartfrom the silly things which this worthy gentleman says in connection withhis craze, when other subjects are dealt with, he can discuss them in aperfectly rational manner, showing that his mind is quite clear andcomposed; so that, provided his chivalry is not touched upon, no onewould take him to be anything but a man of thoroughly soundunderstanding."While they were holding this conversation Don Quixote continued his withSancho, saying:"Friend Panza, let us forgive and forget as to our quarrels, and tell menow, dismissing anger and irritation, where, how, and when didst thoufind Dulcinea? What was she doing? What didst thou say to her? What didshe answer? How did she look when she was reading my letter? Who copiedit out for thee? and everything in the matter that seems to thee worthknowing, asking, and learning; neither adding nor falsifying to give mepleasure, nor yet curtailing lest you should deprive me of it.""Senor," replied Sancho, "if the truth is to be told, nobody copied outthe letter for me, for I carried no letter at all.""It is as thou sayest," said Don Quixote, "for the note-book in which Iwrote it I found in my own possession two days after thy departure, whichgave me very great vexation, as I knew not what thou wouldst do onfinding thyself without any letter; and I made sure thou wouldst returnfrom the place where thou didst first miss it.""So I should have done," said Sancho, "if I had not got it by heart whenyour worship read it to me, so that I repeated it to a sacristan, whocopied it out for me from hearing it, so exactly that he said in all thedays of his life, though he had read many a letter of excommunication, hehad never seen or read so pretty a letter as that.""And hast thou got it still in thy memory, Sancho?" said Don Quixote."No, senor," replied Sancho, "for as soon as I had repeated it, seeingthere was no further use for it, I set about forgetting it; and if Irecollect any of it, it is that about 'Scrubbing,'I mean to say'Sovereign Lady,' and the end 'Yours till death, the Knight of the RuefulCountenance;' and between these two I put into it more than three hundred'my souls' and 'my life's' and 'my eyes."