PART II - CHAPTER LIX.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　WHEREIN IS RELATED THE STRANGE THING, WHICH MAY BE REGARDED AS ANADVENTURE, THAT HAPPENED DON QUIXOTEA clear limpid spring which they discovered in a cool grove relieved DonQuixote and Sancho of the dust and fatigue due to the unpolite behaviourof the bulls, and by the side of this, having turned Dapple and Rocinanteloose without headstall or bridle, the forlorn pair, master and man,seated themselves. Sancho had recourse to the larder of his alforjas andtook out of them what he called the prog; Don Quixote rinsed his mouthand bathed his face, by which cooling process his flagging energies wererevived. Out of pure vexation he remained without eating, and out of purepoliteness Sancho did not venture to touch a morsel of what was beforehim, but waited for his master to act as taster. Seeing, however, that,absorbed in thought, he was forgetting to carry the bread to his mouth,he said never a word, and trampling every sort of good breeding underfoot, began to stow away in his paunch the bread and cheese that came tohis hand."Eat, Sancho my friend," said Don Quixote; "support life, which is ofmore consequence to thee than to me, and leave me to die under the painof my thoughts and pressure of my misfortunes. I was born, Sancho, tolive dying, and thou to die eating; and to prove the truth of what I say,look at me, printed in histories, famed in arms, courteous in behaviour,honoured by princes, courted by maidens; and after all, when I lookedforward to palms, triumphs, and crowns, won and earned by my valiantdeeds, I have this morning seen myself trampled on, kicked, and crushedby the feet of unclean and filthy animals. This thought blunts my teeth,paralyses my jaws, cramps my hands, and robs me of all appetite for food;so much so that I have a mind to let myself die of hunger, the cruelestdeath of all deaths.""So then," said Sancho, munching hard all the time, "your worship doesnot agree with the proverb that says, 'Let Martha die, but let her diewith a full belly.' I, at any rate, have no mind to kill myself; so farfrom that, I mean to do as the cobbler does, who stretches the leatherwith his teeth until he makes it reach as far as he wants. I'll stretchout my life by eating until it reaches the end heaven has fixed for it;and let me tell you, senor, there's no greater folly than to think ofdying of despair as your worship does; take my advice, and after eatinglie down and sleep a bit on this green grass-mattress, and you will seethat when you awake you'll feel something better."Don Quixote did as he recommended, for it struck him that Sancho'sreasoning was more like a philosopher's than a blockhead's, and said he,"Sancho, if thou wilt do for me what I am going to tell thee my ease ofmind would be more assured and my heaviness of heart not so great; and itis this; to go aside a little while I am sleeping in accordance with thyadvice, and, making bare thy carcase to the air, to give thyself three orfour hundred lashes with Rocinante's reins, on account of the threethousand and odd thou art to give thyself for the disenchantment ofDulcinea; for it is a great pity that the poor lady should be leftenchanted through thy carelessness and negligence.""There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Sancho; "let usboth go to sleep now, and after that, God has decreed what will happen.Let me tell your worship that for a man to whip himself in cold blood isa hard thing, especially if the stripes fall upon an ill-nourished andworse-fed body. Let my lady Dulcinea have patience, and when she is leastexpecting it, she will see me made a riddle of with whipping, and 'untildeath it's all life;' I mean that I have still life in me, and the desireto make good what I have promised."Don Quixote thanked him, and ate a little, and Sancho a good deal, andthen they both lay down to sleep, leaving those two inseparable friendsand comrades, Rocinante and Dapple, to their own devices and to feedunrestrained upon the abundant grass with which the meadow was furnished.They woke up rather late, mounted once more and resumed their journey,pushing on to reach an inn which was in sight, apparently a league off. Isay an inn, because Don Quixote called it so, contrary to his usualpractice of calling all inns castles. They reached it, and asked thelandlord if they could put up there. He said yes, with as much comfortand as good fare as they could find in Saragossa. They dismounted, andSancho stowed away his larder in a room of which the landlord gave himthe key. He took the beasts to the stable, fed them, and came back to seewhat orders Don Quixote, who was seated on a bench at the door, had forhim, giving special thanks to heaven that this inn had not been taken fora castle by his master. Supper-time came, and they repaired to theirroom, and Sancho asked the landlord what he had to give them for supper.To this the landlord replied that his mouth should be the measure; he hadonly to ask what he would; for that inn was provided with the birds ofthe air and the fowls of the earth and the fish of the sea."There's no need of all that," said Sancho; "if they'll roast us a coupleof chickens we'll be satisfied, for my master is delicate and eatslittle, and I'm not over and above gluttonous."The landlord replied he had no chickens, for the kites had stolen them."Well then," said Sancho, "let senor landlord tell them to roast apullet, so that it is a tender one.""Pullet! My father!" said the landlord; "indeed and in truth it's onlyyesterday I sent over fifty to the city to sell; but saving pullets askwhat you will.""In that case," said Sancho, "you will not be without veal or kid.""Just now," said the landlord, "there's none in the house, for it's allfinished; but next week there will be enough and to spare.""Much good that does us," said Sancho; "I'll lay a bet that all theseshort-comings are going to wind up in plenty of bacon and eggs.""By God," said the landlord, "my guest's wits must be precious dull; Itell him I have neither pullets nor hens, and he wants me to have eggs!Talk of other dainties, if you please, and don't ask for hens again.""Body o' me!" said Sancho, "let's settle the matter; say at once what youhave got, and let us have no more words about it.""In truth and earnest, senor guest," said the landlord, "all I have is acouple of cow-heels like calves' feet, or a couple of calves' feet likecowheels; they are boiled with chick-peas, onions, and bacon, and at thismoment they are crying 'Come eat me, come eat me.""I mark them for mine on the spot," said Sancho; "let nobody touch them;I'll pay better for them than anyone else, for I could not wish foranything more to my taste; and I don't care a pin whether they are feetor heels.""Nobody shall touch them," said the landlord; "for the other guests Ihave, being persons of high quality, bring their own cook and caterer andlarder with them.""If you come to people of quality," said Sancho, "there's nobody more sothan my master; but the calling he follows does not allow of larders orstore-rooms; we lay ourselves down in the middle of a meadow, and fillourselves with acorns or medlars."Here ended Sancho's conversation with the landlord, Sancho not caring tocarry it any farther by answering him; for he had already asked him whatcalling or what profession it was his master was of.Supper-time having come, then, Don Quixote betook himself to his room,the landlord brought in the stew-pan just as it was, and he sat himselfdown to sup very resolutely. It seems that in another room, which wasnext to Don Quixote's, with nothing but a thin partition to separate it,he overheard these words, "As you live, Senor Don Jeronimo, while theyare bringing supper, let us read another chapter of the Second Part of'Don Quixote of La Mancha.'"The instant Don Quixote heard his own name be started to his feet andlistened with open ears to catch what they said about him, and heard theDon Jeronimo who had been addressed say in reply, "Why would you have usread that absurd stuff, Don Juan, when it is impossible for anyone whohas read the First Part of the history of 'Don Quixote of La Mancha' totake any pleasure in reading this Second Part?""For all that," said he who was addressed as Don Juan, "we shall do wellto read it, for there is no book so bad but it has something good in it.What displeases me most in it is that it represents Don Quixote as nowcured of his love for Dulcinea del Toboso."On hearing this Don Quixote, full of wrath and indignation, lifted up hisvoice and said, "Whoever he may be who says that Don Quixote of La Manchahas forgotten or can forget Dulcinea del Toboso, I will teach him withequal arms that what he says is very far from the truth; for neither canthe peerless Dulcinea del Toboso be forgotten, nor can forgetfulness havea place in Don Quixote; his motto is constancy, and his profession tomaintain the same with his life and never wrong it.""Who is this that answers us?" said they in the next room."Who should it be," said Sancho, "but Don Quixote of La Mancha himself,who will make good all he has said and all he will say; for pledges don'ttrouble a good payer."Sancho had hardly uttered these words when two gentlemen, for such theyseemed to be, entered the room, and one of them, throwing his arms roundDon Quixote's neck, said to him, "Your appearance cannot leave anyquestion as to your name, nor can your name fail to identify yourappearance; unquestionably, senor, you are the real Don Quixote of LaMancha, cynosure and morning star of knight-errantry, despite and indefiance of him who has sought to usurp your name and bring to naughtyour achievements, as the author of this book which I here present to youhas done;" and with this he put a book which his companion carried intothe hands of Don Quixote, who took it, and without replying began to runhis eye over it; but he presently returned it saying, "In the little Ihave seen I have discovered three things in this author that deserve tobe censured. The first is some words that I have read in the preface; thenext that the language is Aragonese, for sometimes he writes withoutarticles; and the third, which above all stamps him as ignorant, is thathe goes wrong and departs from the truth in the most important part ofthe history, for here he says that my squire Sancho Panza's wife iscalled Mari Gutierrez, when she is called nothing of the sort, but TeresaPanza; and when a man errs on such an important point as this there isgood reason to fear that he is in error on every other point in thehistory.""A nice sort of historian, indeed!" exclaimed Sancho at this; "he mustknow a deal about our affairs when he calls my wife Teresa Panza, MariGutierrez; take the book again, senor, and see if I am in it and if hehas changed my name.""From your talk, friend," said Don Jeronimo, "no doubt you are SanchoPanza, Senor Don Quixote's squire.""Yes, I am," said Sancho; "and I'm proud of it.""Faith, then," said the gentleman, "this new author does not handle youwith the decency that displays itself in your person; he makes you out aheavy feeder and a fool, and not in the least droll, and a very differentbeing from the Sancho described in the First Part of your master'shistory.""God forgive him," said Sancho; "he might have left me in my cornerwithout troubling his head about me; 'let him who knows how ring thebells; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome.'"The two gentlemen pressed Don Quixote to come into their room and havesupper with them, as they knew very well there was nothing in that innfit for one of his sort. Don Quixote, who was always polite, yielded totheir request and supped with them. Sancho stayed behind with the stew.and invested with plenary delegated authority seated himself at the headof the table, and the landlord sat down with him, for he was no less fondof cow-heel and calves' feet than Sancho was.While at supper Don Juan asked Don Quixote what news he had of the ladyDulcinea del Toboso, was she married, had she been brought to bed, or wasshe with child, or did she in maidenhood, still preserving her modestyand delicacy, cherish the remembrance of the tender passion of Senor DonQuixote?To this he replied, "Dulcinea is a maiden still, and my passion morefirmly rooted than ever, our intercourse unsatisfactory as before, andher beauty transformed into that of a foul country wench;" and then heproceeded to give them a full and particular account of the enchantmentof Dulcinea, and of what had happened him in the cave of Montesinos,together with what the sage Merlin had prescribed for her disenchantment,namely the scourging of Sancho.Exceedingly great was the amusement the two gentlemen derived fromhearing Don Quixote recount the strange incidents of his history; and ifthey were amazed by his absurdities they were equally amazed by theelegant style in which he delivered them. On the one hand they regardedhim as a man of wit and sense, and on the other he seemed to them amaundering blockhead, and they could not make up their minds whereaboutsbetween wisdom and folly they ought to place him.Sancho having finished his supper, and left the landlord in the Xcondition, repaired to the room where his master was, and as he came insaid, "May I die, sirs, if the author of this book your worships have gothas any mind that we should agree; as he calls me glutton (according towhat your worships say) I wish he may not call me drunkard too.""But he does," said Don Jeronimo; "I cannot remember, however, in whatway, though I know his words are offensive, and what is more, lying, as Ican see plainly by the physiognomy of the worthy Sancho before me.""Believe me," said Sancho, "the Sancho and the Don Quixote of thishistory must be different persons from those that appear in the one CideHamete Benengeli wrote, who are ourselves; my master valiant, wise, andtrue in love, and I simple, droll, and neither glutton nor drunkard.""I believe it," said Don Juan; "and were it possible, an order should beissued that no one should have the presumption to deal with anythingrelating to Don Quixote, save his original author Cide Hamete; just asAlexander commanded that no one should presume to paint his portrait saveApelles.""Let him who will paint me," said Don Quixote; "but let him not abuse me;for patience will often break down when they heap insults upon it.""None can be offered to Senor Don Quixote," said Don Juan, "that hehimself will not be able to avenge, if he does not ward it off with theshield of his patience, which, I take it, is great and strong."A considerable portion of the night passed in conversation of this sort,and though Don Juan wished Don Quixote to read more of the book to seewhat it was all about, he was not to be prevailed upon, saying that hetreated it as read and pronounced it utterly silly; and, if by any chanceit should come to its author's ears that he had it in his hand, he didnot want him to flatter himself with the idea that he had read it; forour thoughts, and still more our eyes, should keep themselves aloof fromwhat is obscene and filthy.They asked him whither he meant to direct his steps. He replied, toSaragossa, to take part in the harness jousts which were held in thatcity every year. Don Juan told him that the new history described how DonQuixote, let him be who he might, took part there in a tilting at thering, utterly devoid of invention, poor in mottoes, very poor in costume,though rich in sillinesses."For that very reason," said Don Quixote, "I will not set foot inSaragossa; and by that means I shall expose to the world the lie of thisnew history writer, and people will see that I am not the Don Quixote hespeaks of.""You will do quite right," said Don Jeronimo; "and there are other joustsat Barcelona in which Senor Don Quixote may display his prowess.""That is what I mean to do," said Don Quixote; "and as it is now time, Ipray your worships to give me leave to retire to bed, and to place andretain me among the number of your greatest friends and servants.""And me too," said Sancho; "maybe I'll be good for something."With this they exchanged farewells, and Don Quixote and Sancho retired totheir room, leaving Don Juan and Don Jeronimo amazed to see the medley hemade of his good sense and his craziness; and they felt thoroughlyconvinced that these, and not those their Aragonese author described,were the genuine Don Quixote and Sancho. Don Quixote rose betimes, andbade adieu to his hosts by knocking at the partition of the other room.Sancho paid the landlord magnificently, and recommended him either to sayless about the providing of his inn or to keep it better provided.