PART II - CHAPTER LVI.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF THE PRODIGIOUS AND UNPARALLELED BATTLE THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN DONQUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA AND THE LACQUEY TOSILOS IN DEFENCE OF THE DAUGHTEROF DONA RODRIGUEZThe duke and duchess had no reason to regret the joke that had beenplayed upon Sancho Panza in giving him the government; especially astheir majordomo returned the same day, and gave them a minute account ofalmost every word and deed that Sancho uttered or did during the time;and to wind up with, eloquently described to them the attack upon theisland and Sancho's fright and departure, with which they were not alittle amused. After this the history goes on to say that the day fixedfor the battle arrived, and that the duke, after having repeatedlyinstructed his lacquey Tosilos how to deal with Don Quixote so as tovanquish him without killing or wounding him, gave orders to have theheads removed from the lances, telling Don Quixote that Christiancharity, on which he plumed himself, could not suffer the battle to befought with so much risk and danger to life; and that he must be contentwith the offer of a battlefield on his territory (though that was againstthe decree of the holy Council, which prohibits all challenges of thesort) and not push such an arduous venture to its extreme limits. DonQuixote bade his excellence arrange all matters connected with the affairas he pleased, as on his part he would obey him in everything. The dreadday, then, having arrived, and the duke having ordered a spacious standto be erected facing the court of the castle for the judges of the fieldand the appellant duennas, mother and daughter, vast crowds flocked fromall the villages and hamlets of the neighbourhood to see the novelspectacle of the battle; nobody, dead or alive, in those parts havingever seen or heard of such a one.The first person to enter the-field and the lists was the master of theceremonies, who surveyed and paced the whole ground to see that there wasnothing unfair and nothing concealed to make the combatants stumble orfall; then the duennas entered and seated themselves, enveloped inmantles covering their eyes, nay even their bosoms, and displaying noslight emotion as Don Quixote appeared in the lists. Shortly afterwards,accompanied by several trumpets and mounted on a powerful steed thatthreatened to crush the whole place, the great lacquey Tosilos made hisappearance on one side of the courtyard with his visor down and stifflycased in a suit of stout shining armour. The horse was a manifestFrieslander, broad-backed and flea-bitten, and with half a hundred ofwool hanging to each of his fetlocks. The gallant combatant came wellprimed by his master the duke as to how he was to bear himself againstthe valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha; being warned that he must on noaccount slay him, but strive to shirk the first encounter so as to avoidthe risk of killing him, as he was sure to do if he met him full tilt. Hecrossed the courtyard at a walk, and coming to where the duennas wereplaced stopped to look at her who demanded him for a husband; the marshalof the field summoned Don Quixote, who had already presented himself inthe courtyard, and standing by the side of Tosilos he addressed theduennas, and asked them if they consented that Don Quixote of La Manchashould do battle for their right. They said they did, and that whateverhe should do in that behalf they declared rightly done, final and valid.By this time the duke and duchess had taken their places in a gallerycommanding the enclosure, which was filled to overflowing with amultitude of people eager to see this perilous and unparalleledencounter. The conditions of the combat were that if Don Quixote provedthe victor his antagonist was to marry the daughter of Dona Rodriguez;but if he should be vanquished his opponent was released from the promisethat was claimed against him and from all obligations to givesatisfaction. The master of the ceremonies apportioned the sun to them,and stationed them, each on the spot where he was to stand. The drumsbeat, the sound of the trumpets filled the air, the earth trembled underfoot, the hearts of the gazing crowd were full of anxiety, some hopingfor a happy issue, some apprehensive of an untoward ending to the affair,and lastly, Don Quixote, commending himself with all his heart to God ourLord and to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, stood waiting for them to givethe necessary signal for the onset. Our lacquey, however, was thinking ofsomething very different; he only thought of what I am now going tomention.It seems that as he stood contemplating his enemy she struck him as themost beautiful woman he had ever seen all his life; and the little blindboy whom in our streets they commonly call Love had no mind to let slipthe chance of triumphing over a lacquey heart, and adding it to the listof his trophies; and so, stealing gently upon him unseen, he drove a darttwo yards long into the poor lacquey's left side and pierced his heartthrough and through; which he was able to do quite at his ease, for Loveis invisible, and comes in and goes out as he likes, without anyonecalling him to account for what he does. Well then, when they gave thesignal for the onset our lacquey was in an ecstasy, musing upon thebeauty of her whom he had already made mistress of his liberty, and so hepaid no attention to the sound of the trumpet, unlike Don Quixote, whowas off the instant he heard it, and, at the highest speed Rocinante wascapable of, set out to meet his enemy, his good squire Sancho shoutinglustily as he saw him start, "God guide thee, cream and flower ofknights-errant! God give thee the victory, for thou hast the right on thyside!" But though Tosilos saw Don Quixote coming at him he never stirreda step from the spot where he was posted; and instead of doing so calledloudly to the marshal of the field, to whom when he came up to see whathe wanted he said, "Senor, is not this battle to decide whether I marryor do not marry that lady?" "Just so," was the answer. "Well then," saidthe lacquey, "I feel qualms of conscience, and I should lay a-heavyburden upon it if I were to proceed any further with the combat; Itherefore declare that I yield myself vanquished, and that I am willingto marry the lady at once."The marshal of the field was lost in astonishment at the words ofTosilos; and as he was one of those who were privy to the arrangement ofthe affair he knew not what to say in reply. Don Quixote pulled up in midcareer when he saw that his enemy was not coming on to the attack. Theduke could not make out the reason why the battle did not go on; but themarshal of the field hastened to him to let him know what Tosilos said,and he was amazed and extremely angry at it. In the meantime Tosilosadvanced to where Dona Rodriguez sat and said in a loud voice, "Senora, Iam willing to marry your daughter, and I have no wish to obtain by strifeand fighting what I can obtain in peace and without any risk to my life."The valiant Don Quixote heard him, and said, "As that is the case I amreleased and absolved from my promise; let them marry by all means, andas 'God our Lord has given her, may Saint Peter add his blessing.'"The duke had now descended to the courtyard of the castle, and going upto Tosilos he said to him, "Is it true, sir knight, that you yieldyourself vanquished, and that moved by scruples of conscience you wish tomarry this damsel?""It is, senor," replied Tosilos."And he does well," said Sancho, "for what thou hast to give to themouse, give to the cat, and it will save thee all trouble."Tosilos meanwhile was trying to unlace his helmet, and he begged them tocome to his help at once, as his power of breathing was failing him, andhe could not remain so long shut up in that confined space. They removedit in all haste, and his lacquey features were revealed to public gaze.At this sight Dona Rodriguez and her daughter raised a mighty outcry,exclaiming, "This is a trick! This is a trick! They have put Tosilos, mylord the duke's lacquey, upon us in place of the real husband. Thejustice of God and the king against such trickery, not to say roguery!""Do not distress yourselves, ladies," said Don Quixote; "for this is notrickery or roguery; or if it is, it is not the duke who is at the bottomof it, but those wicked enchanters who persecute me, and who, jealous ofmy reaping the glory of this victory, have turned your husband's featuresinto those of this person, who you say is a lacquey of the duke's; takemy advice, and notwithstanding the malice of my enemies marry him, forbeyond a doubt he is the one you wish for a husband."When the duke heard this all his anger was near vanishing in a fit oflaughter, and he said, "The things that happen to Senor Don Quixote areso extraordinary that I am ready to believe this lacquey of mine is notone; but let us adopt this plan and device; let us put off the marriagefor, say, a fortnight, and let us keep this person about whom we areuncertain in close confinement, and perhaps in the course of that time hemay return to his original shape; for the spite which the enchantersentertain against Senor Don Quixote cannot last so long, especially as itis of so little advantage to them to practise these deceptions andtransformations.""Oh, senor," said Sancho, "those scoundrels are well used to changingwhatever concerns my master from one thing into another. A knight that heovercame some time back, called the Knight of the Mirrors, they turnedinto the shape of the bachelor Samson Carrasco of our town and a greatfriend of ours; and my lady Dulcinea del Toboso they have turned into acommon country wench; so I suspect this lacquey will have to live and diea lacquey all the days of his life."Here the Rodriguez's daughter exclaimed, "Let him be who he may, this manthat claims me for a wife; I am thankful to him for the same, for I hadrather be the lawful wife of a lacquey than the cheated mistress of agentleman; though he who played me false is nothing of the kind."To be brief, all the talk and all that had happened ended in Tosilosbeing shut up until it was seen how his transformation turned out. Allhailed Don Quixote as victor, but the greater number were vexed anddisappointed at finding that the combatants they had been so anxiouslywaiting for had not battered one another to pieces, just as the boys aredisappointed when the man they are waiting to see hanged does not comeout, because the prosecution or the court has pardoned him. The peopledispersed, the duke and Don Quixote returned to the castle, they lockedup Tosilos, Dona Rodriguez and her daughter remained perfectly contentedwhen they saw that any way the affair must end in marriage, and Tosiloswanted nothing else.