PART II - CHAPTER LXIX.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF THE STRANGEST AND MOST EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTEIN THE WHOLE COURSE OF THIS GREAT HISTORYThe horsemen dismounted, and, together with the men on foot, without amoment's delay taking up Sancho and Don Quixote bodily, they carried theminto the court, all round which near a hundred torches fixed in socketswere burning, besides above five hundred lamps in the corridors, so thatin spite of the night, which was somewhat dark, the want of daylightcould not be perceived. In the middle of the court was a catafalque,raised about two yards above the ground and covered completely by animmense canopy of black velvet, and on the steps all round it white waxtapers burned in more than a hundred silver candlesticks. Upon thecatafalque was seen the dead body of a damsel so lovely that by herbeauty she made death itself look beautiful. She lay with her headresting upon a cushion of brocade and crowned with a garland ofsweet-smelling flowers of divers sorts, her hands crossed upon her bosom,and between them a branch of yellow palm of victory. On one side of thecourt was erected a stage, where upon two chairs were seated two personswho from having crowns on their heads and sceptres in their handsappeared to be kings of some sort, whether real or mock ones. By the sideof this stage, which was reached by steps, were two other chairs on whichthe men carrying the prisoners seated Don Quixote and Sancho, all insilence, and by signs giving them to understand that they too were to besilent; which, however, they would have been without any signs, for theiramazement at all they saw held them tongue-tied. And now two persons ofdistinction, who were at once recognised by Don Quixote as his hosts theduke and duchess, ascended the stage attended by a numerous suite, andseated themselves on two gorgeous chairs close to the two kings, as theyseemed to be. Who would not have been amazed at this? Nor was this all,for Don Quixote had perceived that the dead body on the catafalque wasthat of the fair Altisidora. As the duke and duchess mounted the stageDon Quixote and Sancho rose and made them a profound obeisance, whichthey returned by bowing their heads slightly. At this moment an officialcrossed over, and approaching Sancho threw over him a robe of blackbuckram painted all over with flames of fire, and taking off his cap putupon his head a mitre such as those undergoing the sentence of the HolyOffice wear; and whispered in his ear that he must not open his lips, orthey would put a gag upon him, or take his life. Sancho surveyed himselffrom head to foot and saw himself all ablaze with flames; but as they didnot burn him, he did not care two farthings for them. He took off themitre and seeing painted with devils he put it on again, saying tohimself, "Well, so far those don't burn me nor do these carry me off."Don Quixote surveyed him too, and though fear had got the better of hisfaculties, he could not help smiling to see the figure Sancho presented.And now from underneath the catafalque, so it seemed, there rose a lowsweet sound of flutes, which, coming unbroken by human voice (for theresilence itself kept silence), had a soft and languishing effect. Then,beside the pillow of what seemed to be the dead body, suddenly appeared afair youth in a Roman habit, who, to the accompaniment of a harp which hehimself played, sang in a sweet and clear voice these two stanzas: While fair Altisidora, who the sport Of cold Don Quixote's cruelty hath been, Returns to life, and in this magic court The dames in sables come to grace the scene, And while her matrons all in seemly sort My lady robes in baize and bombazine, Her beauty and her sorrows will I sing With defter quill than touched the Thracian string. But not in life alone, methinks, to me Belongs the office; Lady, when my tongue Is cold in death, believe me, unto thee My voice shall raise its tributary song. My soul, from this strait prison-house set free, As o'er the Stygian lake it floats along, Thy praises singing still shall hold its way, And make the waters of oblivion stay. At this point one of the two that looked like kings exclaimed, "Enough,enough, divine singer! It would be an endless task to put before us nowthe death and the charms of the peerless Altisidora, not dead as theignorant world imagines, but living in the voice of fame and in thepenance which Sancho Panza, here present, has to undergo to restore herto the long-lost light. Do thou, therefore, O Rhadamanthus, who sittestin judgment with me in the murky caverns of Dis, as thou knowest all thatthe inscrutable fates have decreed touching the resuscitation of thisdamsel, announce and declare it at once, that the happiness we lookforward to from her restoration be no longer deferred."No sooner had Minos the fellow judge of Rhadamanthus said this, thanRhadamanthus rising up said:"Ho, officials of this house, high and low, great and small, make hastehither one and all, and print on Sancho's face four-and-twenty smacks,and give him twelve pinches and six pin thrusts in the back and arms; forupon this ceremony depends the restoration of Altisidora."On hearing this Sancho broke silence and cried out, "By all that's good,I'll as soon let my face be smacked or handled as turn Moor. Body o' me!What has handling my face got to do with the resurrection of this damsel?'The old woman took kindly to the blits; they enchant Dulcinea, and whipme in order to disenchant her; Altisidora dies of ailments God waspleased to send her, and to bring her to life again they must give mefour-and-twenty smacks, and prick holes in my body with pins, and raiseweals on my arms with pinches! Try those jokes on a brother-in-law; 'I'man old dog, and "tus, tus" is no use with me.'""Thou shalt die," said Rhadamanthus in a loud voice; "relent, thou tiger;humble thyself, proud Nimrod; suffer and be silent, for noimpossibilities are asked of thee; it is not for thee to inquire into thedifficulties in this matter; smacked thou must be, pricked thou shalt seethyself, and with pinches thou must be made to howl. Ho, I say,officials, obey my orders; or by the word of an honest man, ye shall seewhat ye were born for."At this some six duennas, advancing across the court, made theirappearance in procession, one after the other, four of them withspectacles, and all with their right hands uplifted, showing four fingersof wrist to make their hands look longer, as is the fashion now-a-days.No sooner had Sancho caught sight of them than, bellowing like a bull, heexclaimed, "I might let myself be handled by all the world; but allowduennas to touch me--not a bit of it! Scratch my face, as my master wasserved in this very castle; run me through the body with burnisheddaggers; pinch my arms with red-hot pincers; I'll bear all in patience toserve these gentlefolk; but I won't let duennas touch me, though thedevil should carry me off!"Here Don Quixote, too, broke silence, saying to Sancho, "Have patience,my son, and gratify these noble persons, and give all thanks to heaventhat it has infused such virtue into thy person, that by its sufferingsthou canst disenchant the enchanted and restore to life the dead."The duennas were now close to Sancho, and he, having become moretractable and reasonable, settling himself well in his chair presentedhis face and beard to the first, who delivered him a smack very stoutlylaid on, and then made him a low curtsey."Less politeness and less paint, senora duenna," said Sancho; "by Godyour hands smell of vinegar-wash."In fine, all the duennas smacked him and several others of the householdpinched him; but what he could not stand was being pricked by the pins;and so, apparently out of patience, he started up out of his chair, andseizing a lighted torch that stood near him fell upon the duennas and thewhole set of his tormentors, exclaiming, "Begone, ye ministers of hell;I'm not made of brass not to feel such out-of-the-way tortures."At this instant Altisidora, who probably was tired of having been so longlying on her back, turned on her side; seeing which the bystanders criedout almost with one voice, "Altisidora is alive! Altisidora lives!"Rhadamanthus bade Sancho put away his wrath, as the object they had inview was now attained. When Don Quixote saw Altisidora move, he went onhis knees to Sancho saying to him, "Now is the time, son of my bowels,not to call thee my squire, for thee to give thyself some of those lashesthou art bound to lay on for the disenchantment of Dulcinea. Now, I say,is the time when the virtue that is in thee is ripe, and endowed withefficacy to work the good that is looked for from thee."To which Sancho made answer, "That's trick upon trick, I think, and nothoney upon pancakes; a nice thing it would be for a whipping to come now,on the top of pinches, smacks, and pin-proddings! You had better take abig stone and tie it round my neck, and pitch me into a well; I shouldnot mind it much, if I'm to be always made the cow of the wedding for thecure of other people's ailments. Leave me alone; or else by God I'llfling the whole thing to the dogs, let come what may."Altisidora had by this time sat up on the catafalque, and as she did sothe clarions sounded, accompanied by the flutes, and the voices of allpresent exclaiming, "Long life to Altisidora! long life to Altisidora!"The duke and duchess and the kings Minos and Rhadamanthus stood up, andall, together with Don Quixote and Sancho, advanced to receive her andtake her down from the catafalque; and she, making as though she wererecovering from a swoon, bowed her head to the duke and duchess and tothe kings, and looking sideways at Don Quixote, said to him, "God forgivethee, insensible knight, for through thy cruelty I have been, to me itseems, more than a thousand years in the other world; and to thee, themost compassionate upon earth, I render thanks for the life I am now inpossession of. From this day forth, friend Sancho, count as thine sixsmocks of mine which I bestow upon thee, to make as many shirts forthyself, and if they are not all quite whole, at any rate they are allclean."Sancho kissed her hands in gratitude, kneeling, and with the mitre in hishand. The duke bade them take it from him, and give him back his cap anddoublet and remove the flaming robe. Sancho begged the duke to let themleave him the robe and mitre; as he wanted to take them home for a tokenand memento of that unexampled adventure. The duchess said they mustleave them with him; for he knew already what a great friend of his shewas. The duke then gave orders that the court should be cleared, and thatall should retire to their chambers, and that Don Quixote and Sanchoshould be conducted to their old quarters.