PART II - CHAPTER XL.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND TO THIS MEMORABLEHISTORYVerily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories like this oughtshow their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author, for thescrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minute particulars,not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that he does not makeclear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he reveals the fancies, heanswers implied questions, clears up doubts, sets objections at rest,and, in a word, makes plain the smallest points the most inquisitive candesire to know. O renowned author! O happy Don Quixote! O famous famousdroll Sancho! All and each, may ye live countless ages for the delightand amusement of the dwellers on earth!The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed One fainthe exclaimed: "I swear by the faith of an honest man and the shades ofall my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hear of, nor has mymaster related or conceived in his mind, such an adventure as this. Athousand devils--not to curse thee--take thee, Malambruno, for anenchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no other sort of punishment forthese sinners but bearding them? Would it not have been better--it wouldhave been better for them--to have taken off half their noses from themiddle upwards, even though they'd have snuffled when they spoke, than tohave put beards on them? I'll bet they have not the means of payinganybody to shave them.""That is the truth, senor," said one of the twelve; "we have not themoney to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken to usingsticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for by applying them toour faces and plucking them off with a jerk we are left as bare andsmooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, to be sure, women inKandy that go about from house to house to remove down, and trimeyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of the women, but we, theduennas of my lady, would never let them in, for most of them have aflavour of agents that have ceased to be principals; and if we are notrelieved by Senor Don Quixote we shall be carried to our graves withbeards.""I will pluck out my own in the land of the Moors," said Don Quixote, "ifI don't cure yours."At this instant the Trifaldi recovered from her swoon and said, "Thechink of that promise, valiant knight, reached my ears in the midst of myswoon, and has been the means of reviving me and bringing back my senses;and so once more I implore you, illustrious errant, indomitable sir, tolet your gracious promises be turned into deeds.""There shall be no delay on my part," said Don Quixote. "Bethink you,senora, of what I must do, for my heart is most eager to serve you.""The fact is," replied the Distressed One, "it is five thousand leagues,a couple more or less, from this to the kingdom of Kandy, if you go byland; but if you go through the air and in a straight line, it is threethousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must know, too, thatMalambruno told me that, whenever fate provided the knight our deliverer,he himself would send him a steed far better and with less tricks than apost-horse; for he will be that same wooden horse on which the valiantPierres carried off the fair Magalona; which said horse is guided by apeg he has in his forehead that serves for a bridle, and flies throughthe air with such rapidity that you would fancy the very devils werecarrying him. This horse, according to ancient tradition, was made byMerlin. He lent him to Pierres, who was a friend of his, and who madelong journeys with him, and, as has been said, carried off the fairMagalona, bearing her through the air on its haunches and making all whobeheld them from the earth gape with astonishment; and he never lent himsave to those whom he loved or those who paid him well; and since thegreat Pierres we know of no one having mounted him until now. From himMalambruno stole him by his magic art, and he has him now in hispossession, and makes use of him in his journeys which he constantlymakes through different parts of the world; he is here to-day, to-morrowin France, and the next day in Potosi; and the best of it is the saidhorse neither eats nor sleeps nor wears out shoes, and goes at an amblingpace through the air without wings, so that he whom he has mounted uponhim can carry a cup full of water in his hand without spilling a drop, sosmoothly and easily does he go, for which reason the fair Magalonaenjoyed riding him greatly.""For going smoothly and easily," said Sancho at this, "give me my Dapple,though he can't go through the air; but on the ground I'll back himagainst all the amblers in the world."They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: "And this same horse,if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to our sufferings,will be here before us ere the night shall have advanced half an hour;for he announced to me that the sign he would give me whereby I mightknow that I had found the knight I was in quest of, would be to send methe horse wherever he might be, speedily and promptly.""And how many is there room for on this horse?" asked Sancho."Two," said the Distressed One, "one in the saddle, and the other on thecroup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when there is nodamsel that's being carried off.""I'd like to know, Senora Distressed One," said Sancho, "what is the nameof this horse?""His name," said the Distressed One, "is not the same as Bellerophon'shorse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great's, calledBucephalus, or Orlando Furioso's, the name of which was Brigliador, noryet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, nor Frontino likeRuggiero's, nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say the horses of the sun werecalled, nor is he called Orelia, like the horse on which the unfortunateRodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rode to the battle where he lost hislife and his kingdom.""I'll bet," said Sancho, "that as they have given him none of thesefamous names of well-known horses, no more have they given him the nameof my master's Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses all that havebeen mentioned.""That is true," said the bearded countess, "still it fits him very well,for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is in accordance withhis being made of wood, with the peg he has in his forehead, and with theswift pace at which he travels; and so, as far as name goes, he maycompare with the famous Rocinante.""I have nothing to say against his name," said Sancho; "but with whatsort of bridle or halter is he managed?""I have said already," said the Trifaldi, "that it is with a peg, byturning which to one side or the other the knight who rides him makes himgo as he pleases, either through the upper air, or skimming and almostsweeping the earth, or else in that middle course that is sought andfollowed in all well-regulated proceedings.""I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy I'm going to mount him,either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of the elm tree. Agood joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple, and on apack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they'd have me hold on uponhaunches of plank without pad or cushion of any sort! Gad, I have nonotion of bruising myself to get rid of anyone's beard; let each oneshave himself as best he can; I'm not going to accompany my master on anysuch long journey; besides, I can't give any help to the shaving of thesebeards as I can to the disenchantment of my lady Dulcinea.""Yes, you can, my friend," replied the Trifaldi; "and so much, thatwithout you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing.""In the king's name!" exclaimed Sancho, "what have squires got to do withthe adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame of such asthey go through, and we the labour? Body o' me! if the historians wouldonly say, 'Such and such a knight finished such and such an adventure,but with the help of so and so, his squire, without which it would havebeen impossible for him to accomplish it;' but they write curtly, "DonParalipomenon of the Three Stars accomplished the adventure of the sixmonsters;' without mentioning such a person as his squire, who was thereall the time, just as if there was no such being. Once more, sirs, I saymy master may go alone, and much good may it do him; and I'll stay herein the company of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, hewill find the lady Dulcinea's affair ever so much advanced; for I mean inleisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell of whippingwithout so much as a hair to cover me.""For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho," said theduchess, "for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the faces of theseladies must not remain overgrown in this way because of your idle fears;that would be a hard case indeed.""In the king's name, once more!" said Sancho; "If this charitable workwere to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement or charity-girls,a man might expose himself to some hardships; but to bear it for the sakeof stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it! I'd sooner see them allbearded, from the highest to the lowest, and from the most prudish to themost affected.""You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend," said the duchess; "youincline very much to the opinion of the Toledo apothecary. But indeed youare wrong; there are duennas in my house that may serve as patterns ofduennas; and here is my Dona Rodriguez, who will not allow me to sayotherwise.""Your excellence may say it if you like," said the Rodriguez; "for Godknows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are good or bad,bearded or smooth, we are our mothers' daughters like other women; and asGod sent us into the world, he knows why he did, and on his mercy I rely,and not on anybody's beard.""Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company," said DonQuixote, "I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyes upon yourtroubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only let Clavileno come andlet me find myself face to face with Malambruno, and I am certain norazor will shave you more easily than my sword shall shave Malambruno'shead off his shoulders; for 'God bears with the wicked, but not forever.""Ah!" exclaimed the Distressed One at this, "may all the stars of thecelestial regions look down upon your greatness with benign eyes, valiantknight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon your heart, that it maybe the shield and safeguard of the abused and downtrodden race ofduennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at by squires, and made gameof by pages. Ill betide the jade that in the flower of her youth wouldnot sooner become a nun than a duenna! Unfortunate beings that we are, weduennas! Though we may be descended in the direct male line from Hectorof Troy himself, our mistresses never fail to address us as 'you' if theythink it makes queens of them. O giant Malambruno, though thou art anenchanter, thou art true to thy promises. Send us now the peerlessClavileno, that our misfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hotweather sets in and these beards of ours are still there, alas for ourlot!"The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tears fromthe eyes of all and even Sancho's filled up; and he resolved in his heartto accompany his master to the uttermost ends of the earth, if so be theremoval of the wool from those venerable countenances depended upon it.