PART II - CHAPTER XLV.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF HOW THE GREAT SANCHO PANZA TOOK POSSESSION OF HIS ISLAND, AND OF HOWHE MADE A BEGINNING IN GOVERNINGO perpetual discoverer of the antipodes, torch of the world, eye ofheaven, sweet stimulator of the water-coolers! Thimbraeus here, Phoebusthere, now archer, now physician, father of poetry, inventor of music;thou that always risest and, notwithstanding appearances, never settest!To thee, O Sun, by whose aid man begetteth man, to thee I appeal to helpme and lighten the darkness of my wit that I may be able to proceed withscrupulous exactitude in giving an account of the great Sancho Panza'sgovernment; for without thee I feel myself weak, feeble, and uncertain.To come to the point, then--Sancho with all his attendants arrived at avillage of some thousand inhabitants, and one of the largest the dukepossessed. They informed him that it was called the island of Barataria,either because the name of the village was Baratario, or because of thejoke by way of which the government had been conferred upon him. Onreaching the gates of the town, which was a walled one, the municipalitycame forth to meet him, the bells rang out a peal, and the inhabitantsshowed every sign of general satisfaction; and with great pomp theyconducted him to the principal church to give thanks to God, and thenwith burlesque ceremonies they presented him with the keys of the town,and acknowledged him as perpetual governor of the island of Barataria.The costume, the beard, and the fat squat figure of the new governorastonished all those who were not in the secret, and even all who were,and they were not a few. Finally, leading him out of the church theycarried him to the judgment seat and seated him on it, and the duke'smajordomo said to him, "It is an ancient custom in this island, senorgovernor, that he who comes to take possession of this famous island isbound to answer a question which shall be put to him, and which must be asomewhat knotty and difficult one; and by his answer the people take themeasure of their new governor's wit, and hail with joy or deplore hisarrival accordingly."While the majordomo was making this speech Sancho was gazing at severallarge letters inscribed on the wall opposite his seat, and as he couldnot read he asked what that was that was painted on the wall. The answerwas, "Senor, there is written and recorded the day on which your lordshiptook possession of this island, and the inscription says, 'This day, theso-and-so of such-and-such a month and year, Senor Don Sancho Panza tookpossession of this island; many years may he enjoy it.'""And whom do they call Don Sancho Panza?" asked Sancho."Your lordship," replied the majordomo; "for no other Panza but the onewho is now seated in that chair has ever entered this island.""Well then, let me tell you, brother," said Sancho, "I haven't got the'Don,' nor has any one of my family ever had it; my name is plain SanchoPanza, and Sancho was my father's name, and Sancho was my grandfather'sand they were all Panzas, without any Dons or Donas tacked on; I suspectthat in this island there are more Dons than stones; but never mind; Godknows what I mean, and maybe if my government lasts four days I'll weedout these Dons that no doubt are as great a nuisance as the midges,they're so plenty. Let the majordomo go on with his question, and I'llgive the best answer I can, whether the people deplore or not."At this instant there came into court two old men, one carrying a cane byway of a walking-stick, and the one who had no stick said, "Senor, sometime ago I lent this good man ten gold-crowns in gold to gratify him anddo him a service, on the condition that he was to return them to mewhenever I should ask for them. A long time passed before I asked forthem, for I would not put him to any greater straits to return them thanhe was in when I lent them to him; but thinking he was growing carelessabout payment I asked for them once and several times; and not only willhe not give them back, but he denies that he owes them, and says I neverlent him any such crowns; or if I did, that he repaid them; and I have nowitnesses either of the loan, or the payment, for he never paid me; Iwant your worship to put him to his oath, and if he swears he returnedthem to me I forgive him the debt here and before God.""What say you to this, good old man, you with the stick?" said Sancho.To which the old man replied, "I admit, senor, that he lent them to me;but let your worship lower your staff, and as he leaves it to my oath,I'll swear that I gave them back, and paid him really and truly."The governor lowered the staff, and as he did so the old man who had thestick handed it to the other old man to hold for him while he swore, asif he found it in his way; and then laid his hand on the cross of thestaff, saying that it was true the ten crowns that were demanded of himhad been lent him; but that he had with his own hand given them back intothe hand of the other, and that he, not recollecting it, was alwaysasking for them.Seeing this the great governor asked the creditor what answer he had tomake to what his opponent said. He said that no doubt his debtor had toldthe truth, for he believed him to be an honest man and a good Christian,and he himself must have forgotten when and how he had given him back thecrowns; and that from that time forth he would make no further demandupon him.The debtor took his stick again, and bowing his head left the court.Observing this, and how, without another word, he made off, and observingtoo the resignation of the plaintiff, Sancho buried his head in his bosomand remained for a short space in deep thought, with the forefinger ofhis right hand on his brow and nose; then he raised his head and badethem call back the old man with the stick, for he had already taken hisdeparture. They brought him back, and as soon as Sancho saw him he said,"Honest man, give me that stick, for I want it.""Willingly," said the old man; "here it is senor," and he put it into hishand.Sancho took it and, handing it to the other old man, said to him, "Go,and God be with you; for now you are paid.""I, senor!" returned the old man; "why, is this cane worth tengold-crowns?""Yes," said the governor, "or if not I am the greatest dolt in the world;now you will see whether I have got the headpiece to govern a wholekingdom;" and he ordered the cane to be broken in two, there, in thepresence of all. It was done, and in the middle of it they found tengold-crowns. All were filled with amazement, and looked upon theirgovernor as another Solomon. They asked him how he had come to theconclusion that the ten crowns were in the cane; he replied, thatobserving how the old man who swore gave the stick to his opponent whilehe was taking the oath, and swore that he had really and truly given himthe crowns, and how as soon as he had done swearing he asked for thestick again, it came into his head that the sum demanded must be insideit; and from this he said it might be seen that God sometimes guidesthose who govern in their judgments, even though they may be fools;besides he had himself heard the curate of his village mention just suchanother case, and he had so good a memory, that if it was not that heforgot everything he wished to remember, there would not be such a memoryin all the island. To conclude, the old men went off, one crestfallen,and the other in high contentment, all who were present were astonished,and he who was recording the words, deeds, and movements of Sancho couldnot make up his mind whether he was to look upon him and set him down asa fool or as a man of sense.As soon as this case was disposed of, there came into court a womanholding on with a tight grip to a man dressed like a well-to-do cattledealer, and she came forward making a great outcry and exclaiming,"Justice, senor governor, justice! and if I don't get it on earth I'll golook for it in heaven. Senor governor of my soul, this wicked man caughtme in the middle of the fields here and used my body as if it was anill-washed rag, and, woe is me! got from me what I had kept thesethree-and-twenty years and more, defending it against Moors andChristians, natives and strangers; and I always as hard as an oak, andkeeping myself as pure as a salamander in the fire, or wool among thebrambles, for this good fellow to come now with clean hands to handleme!""It remains to be proved whether this gallant has clean hands or not,"said Sancho; and turning to the man he asked him what he had to say inanswer to the woman's charge.He all in confusion made answer, "Sirs, I am a poor pig dealer, and thismorning I left the village to sell (saving your presence) four pigs, andbetween dues and cribbings they got out of me little less than the worthof them. As I was returning to my village I fell in on the road with thisgood dame, and the devil who makes a coil and a mess out of everything,yoked us together. I paid her fairly, but she not contented laid hold ofme and never let go until she brought me here; she says I forced her, butshe lies by the oath I swear or am ready to swear; and this is the wholetruth and every particle of it."The governor on this asked him if he had any money in silver about him;he said he had about twenty ducats in a leather purse in his bosom. Thegovernor bade him take it out and hand it to the complainant; he obeyedtrembling; the woman took it, and making a thousand salaams to all andpraying to God for the long life and health of the senor governor who hadsuch regard for distressed orphans and virgins, she hurried out of courtwith the purse grasped in both her hands, first looking, however, to seeif the money it contained was silver.As soon as she was gone Sancho said to the cattle dealer, whose tearswere already starting and whose eyes and heart were following his purse,"Good fellow, go after that woman and take the purse from her, by forceeven, and come back with it here;" and he did not say it to one who was afool or deaf, for the man was off like a flash of lightning, and ran todo as he was bid.All the bystanders waited anxiously to see the end of the case, andpresently both man and woman came back at even closer grips than before,she with her petticoat up and the purse in the lap of it, and hestruggling hard to take it from her, but all to no purpose, so stout wasthe woman's defence, she all the while crying out, "Justice from God andthe world! see here, senor governor, the shamelessness and boldness ofthis villain, who in the middle of the town, in the middle of the street,wanted to take from me the purse your worship bade him give me.""And did he take it?" asked the governor."Take it!" said the woman; "I'd let my life be taken from me sooner thanthe purse. A pretty child I'd be! It's another sort of cat they mustthrow in my face, and not that poor scurvy knave. Pincers and hammers,mallets and chisels would not get it out of my grip; no, nor lions'claws; the soul from out of my body first!""She is right," said the man; "I own myself beaten and powerless; Iconfess I haven't the strength to take it from her;" and he let go hishold of her.Upon this the governor said to the woman, "Let me see that purse, myworthy and sturdy friend." She handed it to him at once, and the governorreturned it to the man, and said to the unforced mistress of force,"Sister, if you had shown as much, or only half as much, spirit andvigour in defending your body as you have shown in defending that purse,the strength of Hercules could not have forced you. Be off, and God speedyou, and bad luck to you, and don't show your face in all this island, orwithin six leagues of it on any side, under pain of two hundred lashes;be off at once, I say, you shameless, cheating shrew."The woman was cowed and went off disconsolately, hanging her head; andthe governor said to the man, "Honest man, go home with your money, andGod speed you; and for the future, if you don't want to lose it, see thatyou don't take it into your head to yoke with anybody." The man thankedhim as clumsily as he could and went his way, and the bystanders wereagain filled with admiration at their new governor's judgments andsentences.Next, two men, one apparently a farm labourer, and the other a tailor,for he had a pair of shears in his hand, presented themselves before him,and the tailor said, "Senor governor, this labourer and I come beforeyour worship by reason of this honest man coming to my shop yesterday(for saving everybody's presence I'm a passed tailor, God be thanked),and putting a piece of cloth into my hands and asking me, 'Senor, willthere be enough in this cloth to make me a cap?' Measuring the cloth Isaid there would. He probably suspected--as I supposed, and I supposedright--that I wanted to steal some of the cloth, led to think so by hisown roguery and the bad opinion people have of tailors; and he told me tosee if there would be enough for two. I guessed what he would be at, andI said 'yes.' He, still following up his original unworthy notion, wenton adding cap after cap, and I 'yes' after 'yes,' until we got as far asfive. He has just this moment come for them; I gave them to him, but hewon't pay me for the making; on the contrary, he calls upon me to payhim, or else return his cloth.""Is all this true, brother?" said Sancho."Yes," replied the man; "but will your worship make him show the fivecaps he has made me?""With all my heart," said the tailor; and drawing his hand from under hiscloak he showed five caps stuck upon the five fingers of it, and said,"there are the caps this good man asks for; and by God and upon myconscience I haven't a scrap of cloth left, and I'll let the work beexamined by the inspectors of the trade."All present laughed at the number of caps and the novelty of the suit;Sancho set himself to think for a moment, and then said, "It seems to methat in this case it is not necessary to deliver long-winded arguments,but only to give off-hand the judgment of an honest man; and so mydecision is that the tailor lose the making and the labourer the cloth,and that the caps go to the prisoners in the gaol, and let there be nomore about it."If the previous decision about the cattle dealer's purse excited theadmiration of the bystanders, this provoked their laughter; however, thegovernor's orders were after all executed. All this, having been takendown by his chronicler, was at once despatched to the duke, who waslooking out for it with great eagerness; and here let us leave the goodSancho; for his master, sorely troubled in mind by Altisidora's music,has pressing claims upon us now.