PART II - CHAPTER XLVIII.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS'S DUENNA,TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL REMEMBRANCEExceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, withhis face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by the claws ofa cat, mishaps incidental to knight-errantry.Six days he remained without appearing in public, and one night as he layawake thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisidora's pursuit of him, heperceived that some one was opening the door of his room with a key, andhe at once made up his mind that the enamoured damsel was coming to makean assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in thefidelity he owed to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "No," said he, firmlypersuaded of the truth of his idea (and he said it loud enough to beheard), "the greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make merenounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped and graved in the coreof my heart and the secret depths of my bowels; be thou, lady mine,transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a nymph of golden Tagusweaving a web of silk and gold, let Merlin or Montesinos hold theecaptive where they will; whereer thou art, thou art mine, and where'er Iam, must be thine." The very instant he had uttered these words, the dooropened. He stood up on the bed wrapped from head to foot in a yellowsatin coverlet, with a cap on his head, and his face and his moustachestied up, his face because of the scratches, and his moustaches to keepthem from drooping and falling down, in which trim he looked the mostextraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixedon the door, and just as he was expecting to see the love-smitten andunhappy Altisidora make her appearance, he saw coming in a most venerableduenna, in a long white-bordered veil that covered and enveloped her fromhead to foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a shortlighted candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light fromher eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size, and sheadvanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly.Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and observing hercostume and noting her silence, he concluded that it must be some witchor sorceress that was coming in such a guise to work him some mischief,and he began crossing himself at a great rate. The spectre stilladvanced, and on reaching the middle of the room, looked up and saw theenergy with which Don Quixote was crossing himself; and if he was scaredby seeing such a figure as hers, she was terrified at the sight of his;for the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and thebandages that disfigured him, she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming,"Jesus! what's this I see?" let fall the candle in her fright, and thenfinding herself in the dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling onher skirts in her consternation, she measured her length with a mightyfall.Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying, "I conjure thee, phantom, orwhatever thou art, tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me.If thou art a soul in torment, say so, and all that my powers can do Iwill do for thee; for I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good toall the world, and to this end I have embraced the order ofknight-errantry to which I belong, the province of which extends to doinggood even to souls in purgatory."The unfortunate duenna hearing herself thus conjured, by her own fearguessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered, "Senor DonQuixote--if so be you are indeed Don Quixote--I am no phantom or spectreor soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but Dona Rodriguez, duenna ofhonour to my lady the duchess, and I come to you with one of thosegrievances your worship is wont to redress.""Tell me, Senora Dona Rodriguez," said Don Quixote, "do you perchancecome to transact any go-between business? Because I must tell you I amnot available for anybody's purpose, thanks to the peerless beauty of mylady Dulcinea del Toboso. In short, Senora Dona Rodriguez, if you willleave out and put aside all love messages, you may go and light yourcandle and come back, and we will discuss all the commands you have forme and whatever you wish, saving only, as I said, all seductivecommunications.""I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little you know me.Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such childishtricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, and all my teethand grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the colds, so common inthis Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait a little, while I go andlight my candle, and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows beforeyou as before one who relieves those of all the world;" and withoutstaying for an answer she quitted the room and left Don Quixotetranquilly meditating while he waited for her. A thousand thoughts atonce suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure,and it struck him as being ill done and worse advised in him to exposehimself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his lady; andsaid he to himself, "Who knows but that the devil, being wily andcunning, may be trying now to entrap me with a duenna, having failed withempresses, queens, duchesses, marchionesses, and countesses? Many a timehave I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer youa flat-nosed wench than a roman-nosed one; and who knows but thisprivacy, this opportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires,and lead me in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped?In cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. ButI must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; for it isimpossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna could stir up orexcite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world. Isthere a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is there a duenna in theworld that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and prudish? Avaunt,then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind. Oh, but that lady didwell who, they say, had at the end of her reception room a couple offigures of duennas with spectacles and lace-cushions, as if at work, andthose statues served quite as well to give an air of propriety to theroom as if they had been real duennas."So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and notallow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it SenoraRodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view ofDon Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages and night-cap,she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces, exclaimed, "AmI safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as a sign of very greatvirtue that your worship should have got up out of bed.""I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do askwhether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?""Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir knight?" saidthe duenna."Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am notmarble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning, butmidnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room more secludedand retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous anddaring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido. But give me your hand,senora; I require no better protection than my own continence, and my ownsense of propriety; as well as that which is inspired by that venerablehead-dress;" and so saying he kissed her right hand and took it in hisown, she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness. And here CideHamete inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pairmarching from the door to the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, hewould have given the best of the two tunics he had.Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seat on achair at some little distance from his couch, without taking off herspectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped thebedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leaving nothingbut his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained theircomposure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez, you mayunbosom yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heartand afflicted bowels; and by me you shall be listened to with chasteears, and aided by compassionate exertions.""I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentle andwinning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected. The factis, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in this chair,here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the attire of adespised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, and of afamily with which many of the best of the province are connected byblood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of my parents, who, Iknow not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty, brought me to thecourt of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes,my parents placed me as seamstress in the service of a lady of quality,and I would have you know that for hemming and sewing I have never beensurpassed by any all my life. My parents left me in service and returnedto their own country, and a few years later went, no doubt, to heaven,for they were excellent good Catholic Christians. I was left an orphanwith nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presents that are givento servants of my sort in palaces; but about this time, without anyencouragement on my part, one of the esquires of the household fell inlove with me, a man somewhat advanced in years, full-bearded andpersonable, and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself, for hecame of a mountain stock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecybut that they came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have anyfuss about it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy motherRoman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put anend to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth, forI passed through it safely and in due season, but because shortlyafterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, and had I timeto tell you of it I know your worship would be surprised;" and here shebegan to weep bitterly and said, "Pardon me, Senor Don Quixote, if I amunable to control myself, for every time I think of my unfortunatehusband my eyes fill up with tears. God bless me, with what an air ofdignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black asjet! for in those days they did not use coaches or chairs, as they saythey do now, and ladies rode behind their squires. This much at least Icannot help telling you, that you may observe the good breeding andpunctiliousness of my worthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle deSantiago in Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of theCourt, with two alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soonas my good squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if hewould turn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said tohim in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see that Iam here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said tohim, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompany my ladyDona Casilda'--for that was my mistress's name. Still my husband, cap inhand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, and seeing this mylady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a big pin, or, I ratherthink, a bodkin, out of her needle-case and drove it into his back withsuch force that my husband gave a loud yell, and writhing fell to theground with his lady. Her two lacqueys ran to rise her up, and thealcalde and the alguacils did the same; the Guadalajara gate was all incommotion--I mean the idlers congregated there; my mistress came back onfoot, and my husband hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that hewas run right through the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noisedabroad to such an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street;and on this account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my ladydismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a doubtthat brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with a daughteron my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; at length, however,as I had the character of being an excellent needlewoman, my lady theduchess, then lately married to my lord the duke, offered to take me withher to this kingdom of Aragon, and my daughter also, and here as timewent by my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world; shesings like a lark, dances quick as thought, foots it like a gipsy, readsand writes like a schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of herneatness I say nothing, for the running water is not purer, and her ageis now, if my memory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days,one more or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer,living in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell inlove with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they cametogether, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of mydaughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke isaware of it (for I have complained to him, not once but many and many atime, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my daughter), heturns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; the reason being that asthe deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him money, and is constantlygoing security for his debts, he does not like to offend or annoy him inany way. Now, senor, I want your worship to take it upon yourself toredress this wrong either by entreaty or by arms; for by what all theworld says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs andhelp the unfortunate. Let your worship put before you the unprotectedcondition of my daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have saidshe possesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all thedamsels my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of hershoe, and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest andgayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not come withintwo leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is not goldthat glitters, and that same little Altisidora has more forwardness thangood looks, and more impudence than modesty; besides being not verysound, for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to benear her for a moment; and even my lady the duchess--but I'll hold mytongue, for they say that walls have ears.""For heaven's sake, Dona Rodriguez, what ails my lady the duchess?" askedDon Quixote."Adjured in that way," replied the duenna, "I cannot help answering thequestion and telling the whole truth. Senor Don Quixote, have youobserved the comeliness of my lady the duchess, that smooth complexion ofhers like a burnished polished sword, those two cheeks of milk andcarmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems tospurn the earth, so that one would fancy she went radiating healthwherever she passed? Well then, let me tell you she may thank, first ofall God, for this, and next, two issues that she has, one in each leg, bywhich all the evil humours, of which the doctors say she is full, aredischarged.""Blessed Virgin!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "and is it possible that my ladythe duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it if thebarefoot friars had told it me; but as the lady Dona Rodriguez says so,it must be so. But surely such issues, and in such places, do notdischarge humours, but liquid amber. Verily, I do believe now that thispractice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health."Don Quixote had hardly said this, when the chamber door flew open with aloud bang, and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez let thecandle fall from her hand, and the room was left as dark as a wolf'smouth, as the saying is. Suddenly the poor duenna felt two hands seizeher by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak, while some oneelse, without uttering a word, very briskly hoisted up her petticoats,and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so heartily thatanyone would have felt pity for her; but although Don Quixote felt it henever stirred from his bed, but lay quiet and silent, nay apprehensivethat his turn for a drubbing might be coming. Nor was the apprehension anidle one; one; for leaving the duenna (who did not dare to cry out) wellbasted, the silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote, and stripping himof the sheet and the coverlet, they pinched him so fast and so hard thathe was driven to defend himself with his fists, and all this inmarvellous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour, and then thephantoms fled; Dona Rodriguez gathered up her skirts, and bemoaning herfate went out without saying a word to Don Quixote, and he, sorelypinched, puzzled, and dejected, remained alone, and there we will leavehim, wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reducedhim to such a state; but that shall be told in due season, for Sanchoclaims our attention, and the methodical arrangement of the story demandsit.CHAPTER XLIX.OF WHAT HAPPENED SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLANDWe left the great governor angered and irritated by thatportrait-painting rogue of a farmer who, instructed the majordomo, as themajordomo was by the duke, tried to practise upon him; he however, fool,boor, and clown as he was, held his own against them all, saying to thoseround him and to Doctor Pedro Recio, who as soon as the private businessof the duke's letter was disposed of had returned to the room, "Now I seeplainly enough that judges and governors ought to be and must be made ofbrass not to feel the importunities of the applicants that at all timesand all seasons insist on being heard, and having their businessdespatched, and their own affairs and no others attended to, come whatmay; and if the poor judge does not hear them and settle thematter--either because he cannot or because that is not the time setapart for hearing them-forthwith they abuse him, and run him down, andgnaw at his bones, and even pick holes in his pedigree. You silly, stupidapplicant, don't be in a hurry; wait for the proper time and season fordoing business; don't come at dinner-hour, or at bed-time; for judges areonly flesh and blood, and must give to Nature what she naturally demandsof them; all except myself, for in my case I give her nothing to eat,thanks to Senor Doctor Pedro Recio Tirteafuera here, who would have medie of hunger, and declares that death to be life; and the same sort oflife may God give him and all his kind--I mean the bad doctors; for thegood ones deserve palms and laurels."All who knew Sancho Panza were astonished to hear him speak so elegantly,and did not know what to attribute it to unless it were that office andgrave responsibility either smarten or stupefy men's wits. At last DoctorPedro Recio Agilers of Tirteafuera promised to let him have supper thatnight though it might be in contravention of all the aphorisms ofHippocrates. With this the governor was satisfied and looked forward tothe approach of night and supper-time with great anxiety; and thoughtime, to his mind, stood still and made no progress, nevertheless thehour he so longed for came, and they gave him a beef salad with onionsand some boiled calves' feet rather far gone. At this he fell to withgreater relish than if they had given him francolins from Milan,pheasants from Rome, veal from Sorrento, partridges from Moron, or geesefrom Lavajos, and turning to the doctor at supper he said to him, "Lookhere, senor doctor, for the future don't trouble yourself about giving medainty things or choice dishes to eat, for it will be only taking mystomach off its hinges; it is accustomed to goat, cow, bacon, hung beef,turnips and onions; and if by any chance it is given these palace dishes,it receives them squeamishly, and sometimes with loathing. What thehead-carver had best do is to serve me with what they call ollas podridas(and the rottener they are the better they smell); and he can putwhatever he likes into them, so long as it is good to eat, and I'll beobliged to him, and will requite him some day. But let nobody play prankson me, for either we are or we are not; let us live and eat in peace andgood-fellowship, for when God sends the dawn, he sends it for all. I meanto govern this island without giving up a right or taking a bribe; leteveryone keep his eye open, and look out for the arrow; for I can tellthem 'the devil's in Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they'll seesomething that will astonish them. Nay! make yourself honey and the flieseat you.""Of a truth, senor governor," said the carver, "your worship is in theright of it in everything you have said; and I promise you in the name ofall the inhabitants of this island that they will serve your worship withall zeal, affection, and good-will, for the mild kind of government youhave given a sample of to begin with, leaves them no ground for doing orthinking anything to your worship's disadvantage.""That I believe," said Sancho; "and they would be great fools if they didor thought otherwise; once more I say, see to my feeding and my Dapple'sfor that is the great point and what is most to the purpose; and when thehour comes let us go the rounds, for it is my intention to purge thisisland of all manner of uncleanness and of all idle good-for-nothingvagabonds; for I would have you know that lazy idlers are the same thingin a State as the drones in a hive, that eat up the honey the industriousbees make. I mean to protect the husbandman, to preserve to the gentlemanhis privileges, to reward the virtuous, and above all to respect religionand honour its ministers. What say you to that, my friends? Is thereanything in what I say, or am I talking to no purpose?""There is so much in what your worship says, senor governor," said themajordomo, "that I am filled with wonder when I see a man like yourworship, entirely without learning (for I believe you have none at all),say such things, and so full of sound maxims and sage remarks, verydifferent from what was expected of your worship's intelligence by thosewho sent us or by us who came here. Every day we see something new inthis world; jokes become realities, and the jokers find the tables turnedupon them."Night came, and with the permission of Doctor Pedro Recio, the governorhad supper. They then got ready to go the rounds, and he started with themajordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, the chronicler charged withrecording his deeds, and alguacils and notaries enough to form afair-sized squadron. In the midst marched Sancho with his staff, as finea sight as one could wish to see, and but a few streets of the town hadbeen traversed when they heard a noise as of a clashing of swords. Theyhastened to the spot, and found that the combatants were but two, whoseeing the authorities approaching stood still, and one of themexclaimed, "Help, in the name of God and the king! Are men to be allowedto rob in the middle of this town, and rush out and attack people in thevery streets?""Be calm, my good man," said Sancho, "and tell me what the cause of thisquarrel is; for I am the governor."Said the other combatant, "Senor governor, I will tell you in a very fewwords. Your worship must know that this gentleman has just now won morethan a thousand reals in that gambling house opposite, and God knows how.I was there, and gave more than one doubtful point in his favour, verymuch against what my conscience told me. He made off with his winnings,and when I made sure he was going to give me a crown or so at least byway of a present, as it is usual and customary to give men of quality ofmy sort who stand by to see fair or foul play, and back up swindles, andprevent quarrels, he pocketed his money and left the house. Indignant atthis I followed him, and speaking him fairly and civilly asked him togive me if it were only eight reals, for he knows I am an honest man andthat I have neither profession nor property, for my parents never broughtme up to any or left me any; but the rogue, who is a greater thief thanCacus and a greater sharper than Andradilla, would not give me more thanfour reals; so your worship may see how little shame and conscience hehas. But by my faith if you had not come up I'd have made him disgorgehis winnings, and he'd have learned what the range of the steel-yardwas.""What say you to this?" asked Sancho. The other replied that all hisantagonist said was true, and that he did not choose to give him morethan four reals because he very often gave him money; and that those whoexpected presents ought to be civil and take what is given them with acheerful countenance, and not make any claim against winners unless theyknow them for certain to be sharpers and their winnings to be unfairlywon; and that there could be no better proof that he himself was anhonest man than his having refused to give anything; for sharpers alwayspay tribute to lookers-on who know them."That is true," said the majordomo; "let your worship consider what is tobe done with these men.""What is to be done," said Sancho, "is this; you, the winner, be yougood, bad, or indifferent, give this assailant of yours a hundred realsat once, and you must disburse thirty more for the poor prisoners; andyou who have neither profession nor property, and hang about the islandin idleness, take these hundred reals now, and some time of the dayto-morrow quit the island under sentence of banishment for ten years, andunder pain of completing it in another life if you violate the sentence,for I'll hang you on a gibbet, or at least the hangman will by my orders;not a word from either of you, or I'll make him feel my hand."The one paid down the money and the other took it, and the latter quittedthe island, while the other went home; and then the governor said,"Either I am not good for much, or I'll get rid of these gambling houses,for it strikes me they are very mischievous.""This one at least," said one of the notaries, "your worship will not beable to get rid of, for a great man owns it, and what he loses every yearis beyond all comparison more than what he makes by the cards. On theminor gambling houses your worship may exercise your power, and it isthey that do most harm and shelter the most barefaced practices; for inthe houses of lords and gentlemen of quality the notorious sharpers darenot attempt to play their tricks; and as the vice of gambling has becomecommon, it is better that men should play in houses of repute than insome tradesman's, where they catch an unlucky fellow in the small hoursof the morning and skin him alive.""I know already, notary, that there is a good deal to be said on thatpoint," said Sancho.And now a tipstaff came up with a young man in his grasp, and said,"Senor governor, this youth was coming towards us, and as soon as he sawthe officers of justice he turned about and ran like a deer, a sure proofthat he must be some evil-doer; I ran after him, and had it not been thathe stumbled and fell, I should never have caught him.""What did you run for, fellow?" said Sancho.To which the young man replied, "Senor, it was to avoid answering all thequestions officers of justice put.""What are you by trade?""A weaver.""And what do you weave?""Lance heads, with your worship's good leave.""You're facetious with me! You plume yourself on being a wag? Very good;and where were you going just now?""To take the air, senor.""And where does one take the air in this island?""Where it blows.""Good! your answers are very much to the point; you are a smart youth;but take notice that I am the air, and that I blow upon you a-stern, andsend you to gaol. Ho there! lay hold of him and take him off; I'll makehim sleep there to-night without air.""By God," said the young man, "your worship will make me sleep in gaoljust as soon as make me king.""Why shan't I make thee sleep in gaol?" said Sancho. "Have I not thepower to arrest thee and release thee whenever I like?""All the power your worship has," said the young man, "won't be able tomake me sleep in gaol.""How? not able!" said Sancho; "take him away at once where he'll see hismistake with his own eyes, even if the gaoler is willing to exert hisinterested generosity on his behalf; for I'll lay a penalty of twothousand ducats on him if he allows him to stir a step from the prison.""That's ridiculous," said the young man; "the fact is, all the men onearth will not make me sleep in prison.""Tell me, you devil," said Sancho, "have you got any angel that willdeliver you, and take off the irons I am going to order them to put uponyou?""Now, senor governor," said the young man in a sprightly manner, "let usbe reasonable and come to the point. Granted your worship may order me tobe taken to prison, and to have irons and chains put on me, and to beshut up in a cell, and may lay heavy penalties on the gaoler if he letsme out, and that he obeys your orders; still, if I don't choose to sleep,and choose to remain awake all night without closing an eye, will yourworship with all your power be able to make me sleep if I don't choose?""No, truly," said the secretary, "and the fellow has made his point.""So then," said Sancho, "it would be entirely of your own choice youwould keep from sleeping; not in opposition to my will?""No, senor," said the youth, "certainly not.""Well then, go, and God be with you," said Sancho; "be off home to sleep,and God give you sound sleep, for I don't want to rob you of it; but forthe future, let me advise you don't joke with the authorities, becauseyou may come across some one who will bring down the joke on your ownskull."The young man went his way, and the governor continued his round, andshortly afterwards two tipstaffs came up with a man in custody, and said,"Senor governor, this person, who seems to be a man, is not so, but awoman, and not an ill-favoured one, in man's clothes." They raised two orthree lanterns to her face, and by their light they distinguished thefeatures of a woman to all appearance of the age of sixteen or a littlemore, with her hair gathered into a gold and green silk net, and fair asa thousand pearls. They scanned her from head to foot, and observed thatshe had on red silk stockings with garters of white taffety bordered withgold and pearl; her breeches were of green and gold stuff, and under anopen jacket or jerkin of the same she wore a doublet of the finest whiteand gold cloth; her shoes were white and such as men wear; she carried nosword at her belt, but only a richly ornamented dagger, and on herfingers she had several handsome rings. In short, the girl seemed fair tolook at in the eyes of all, and none of those who beheld her knew her,the people of the town said they could not imagine who she was, and thosewho were in the secret of the jokes that were to be practised upon Sanchowere the ones who were most surprised, for this incident or discovery hadnot been arranged by them; and they watched anxiously to see how theaffair would end.Sancho was fascinated by the girl's beauty, and he asked her who she was,where she was going, and what had induced her to dress herself in thatgarb. She with her eyes fixed on the ground answered in modest confusion,"I cannot tell you, senor, before so many people what it is of suchconsequence to me to have kept secret; one thing I wish to be known, thatI am no thief or evildoer, but only an unhappy maiden whom the power ofjealousy has led to break through the respect that is due to modesty."Hearing this the majordomo said to Sancho, "Make the people stand back,senor governor, that this lady may say what she wishes with lessembarrassment."Sancho gave the order, and all except the majordomo, the head-carver, andthe secretary fell back. Finding herself then in the presence of no more,the damsel went on to say, "I am the daughter, sirs, of Pedro PerezMazorca, the wool-farmer of this town, who is in the habit of coming veryoften to my father's house.""That won't do, senora," said the majordomo; "for I know Pedro Perez verywell, and I know he has no child at all, either son or daughter; andbesides, though you say he is your father, you add then that he comesvery often to your father's house.""I had already noticed that," said Sancho."I am confused just now, sirs," said the damsel, "and I don't know what Iam saying; but the truth is that I am the daughter of Diego de la Llana,whom you must all know.""Ay, that will do," said the majordomo; "for I know Diego de la Llana,and know that he is a gentleman of position and a rich man, and that hehas a son and a daughter, and that since he was left a widower nobody inall this town can speak of having seen his daughter's face; for he keepsher so closely shut up that he does not give even the sun a chance ofseeing her; and for all that report says she is extremely beautiful.""It is true," said the damsel, "and I am that daughter; whether reportlies or not as to my beauty, you, sirs, will have decided by this time,as you have seen me;" and with this she began to weep bitterly.On seeing this the secretary leant over to the head-carver's ear, andsaid to him in a low voice, "Something serious has no doubt happened thispoor maiden, that she goes wandering from home in such a dress and atsuch an hour, and one of her rank too." "There can be no doubt about it,"returned the carver, "and moreover her tears confirm your suspicion."Sancho gave her the best comfort he could, and entreated her to tell themwithout any fear what had happened her, as they would all earnestly andby every means in their power endeavour to relieve her."The fact is, sirs," said she, "that my father has kept me shut up theseten years, for so long is it since the earth received my mother. Mass issaid at home in a sumptuous chapel, and all this time I have seen but thesun in the heaven by day, and the moon and the stars by night; nor do Iknow what streets are like, or plazas, or churches, or even men, exceptmy father and a brother I have, and Pedro Perez the wool-farmer; whom,because he came frequently to our house, I took it into my head to callmy father, to avoid naming my own. This seclusion and the restrictionslaid upon my going out, were it only to church, have been keeping meunhappy for many a day and month past; I longed to see the world, or atleast the town where I was born, and it did not seem to me that this wishwas inconsistent with the respect maidens of good quality should have forthemselves. When I heard them talking of bull-fights taking place, and ofjavelin games, and of acting plays, I asked my brother, who is a yearyounger than myself, to tell me what sort of things these were, and manymore that I had never seen; he explained them to me as well as he could,but the only effect was to kindle in me a still stronger desire to seethem. At last, to cut short the story of my ruin, I begged and entreatedmy brother--O that I had never made such an entreaty-" And once more shegave way to a burst of weeping."Proceed, senora," said the majordomo, "and finish your story of what hashappened to you, for your words and tears are keeping us all insuspense.""I have but little more to say, though many a tear to shed," said thedamsel; "for ill-placed desires can only be paid for in some such way."The maiden's beauty had made a deep impression on the head-carver'sheart, and he again raised his lantern for another look at her, andthought they were not tears she was shedding, but seed-pearl or dew ofthe meadow, nay, he exalted them still higher, and made Oriental pearlsof them, and fervently hoped her misfortune might not be so great a oneas her tears and sobs seemed to indicate. The governor was losingpatience at the length of time the girl was taking to tell her story, andtold her not to keep them waiting any longer; for it was late, and therestill remained a good deal of the town to be gone over.She, with broken sobs and half-suppressed sighs, went on to say, "Mymisfortune, my misadventure, is simply this, that I entreated my brotherto dress me up as a man in a suit of his clothes, and take me some night,when our father was asleep, to see the whole town; he, overcome by myentreaties, consented, and dressing me in this suit and himself inclothes of mine that fitted him as if made for him (for he has not a hairon his chin, and might pass for a very beautiful young girl), to-night,about an hour ago, more or less, we left the house, and guided by ouryouthful and foolish impulse we made the circuit of the whole town, andthen, as we were about to return home, we saw a great troop of peoplecoming, and my brother said to me, 'Sister, this must be the round, stiryour feet and put wings to them, and follow me as fast as you can, lestthey recognise us, for that would be a bad business for us;' and sosaying he turned about and began, I cannot say to run but to fly; in lessthan six paces I fell from fright, and then the officer of justice cameup and carried me before your worships, where I find myself put to shamebefore all these people as whimsical and vicious.""So then, senora," said Sancho, "no other mishap has befallen you, norwas it jealousy that made you leave home, as you said at the beginning ofyour story?""Nothing has happened me," said she, "nor was it jealousy that brought meout, but merely a longing to see the world, which did not go beyondseeing the streets of this town."The appearance of the tipstaffs with her brother in custody, whom one ofthem had overtaken as he ran away from his sister, now fully confirmedthe truth of what the damsel said. He had nothing on but a rich petticoatand a short blue damask cloak with fine gold lace, and his head wasuncovered and adorned only with its own hair, which looked like rings ofgold, so bright and curly was it. The governor, the majordomo, and thecarver went aside with him, and, unheard by his sister, asked him how hecame to be in that dress, and he with no less shame and embarrassmenttold exactly the same story as his sister, to the great delight of theenamoured carver; the governor, however, said to them, "In truth, younglady and gentleman, this has been a very childish affair, and to explainyour folly and rashness there was no necessity for all this delay and allthese tears and sighs; for if you had said we are so-and-so, and weescaped from our father's house in this way in order to ramble about, outof mere curiosity and with no other object, there would have been an endof the matter, and none of these little sobs and tears and all the restof it.""That is true," said the damsel, "but you see the confusion I was in wasso great it did not let me behave as I ought.""No harm has been done," said Sancho; "come, we will leave you at yourfather's house; perhaps they will not have missed you; and another timedon't be so childish or eager to see the world; for a respectable damselshould have a broken leg and keep at home; and the woman and the hen bygadding about are soon lost; and she who is eager to see is also eager tobe seen; I say no more."The youth thanked the governor for his kind offer to take them home, andthey directed their steps towards the house, which was not far off. Onreaching it the youth threw a pebble up at a grating, and immediately awoman-servant who was waiting for them came down and opened the door tothem, and they went in, leaving the party marvelling as much at theirgrace and beauty as at the fancy they had for seeing the world by nightand without quitting the village; which, however, they set down to theiryouth.The head-carver was left with a heart pierced through and through, and hemade up his mind on the spot to demand the damsel in marriage of herfather on the morrow, making sure she would not be refused him as he wasa servant of the duke's; and even to Sancho ideas and schemes of marryingthe youth to his daughter Sanchica suggested themselves, and he resolvedto open the negotiation at the proper season, persuading himself that nohusband could be refused to a governor's daughter. And so the night'sround came to an end, and a couple of days later the government, wherebyall his plans were overthrown and swept away, as will be seen farther on.CHAPTER L.WHEREIN IS SET FORTH WHO THE ENCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS WERE WHO FLOGGEDTHE DUENNA AND PINCHED DON QUIXOTE, AND ALSO WHAT BEFELL THE PAGE WHOCARRIED THE LETTER TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO PANZA'S WIFECide Hamete, the painstaking investigator of the minute points of thisveracious history, says that when Dona Rodriguez left her own room to goto Don Quixote's, another duenna who slept with her observed her, and asall duennas are fond of prying, listening, and sniffing, she followed herso silently that the good Rodriguez never perceived it; and as soon asthe duenna saw her enter Don Quixote's room, not to fail in a duenna'sinvariable practice of tattling, she hurried off that instant to reportto the duchess how Dona Rodriguez was closeted with Don Quixote. Theduchess told the duke, and asked him to let her and Altisidora go and seewhat the said duenna wanted with Don Quixote. The duke gave them leave,and the pair cautiously and quietly crept to the door of the room andposted themselves so close to it that they could hear all that was saidinside. But when the duchess heard how the Rodriguez had made public theAranjuez of her issues she could not restrain herself, nor Altisidoraeither; and so, filled with rage and thirsting for vengeance, they burstinto the room and tormented Don Quixote and flogged the duenna in themanner already described; for indignities offered to their charms andself-esteem mightily provoke the anger of women and make them eager forrevenge. The duchess told the duke what had happened, and he was muchamused by it; and she, in pursuance of her design of making merry anddiverting herself with Don Quixote, despatched the page who had playedthe part of Dulcinea in the negotiations for her disenchantment (whichSancho Panza in the cares of government had forgotten all about) toTeresa Panza his wife with her husband's letter and another from herself,and also a great string of fine coral beads as a present.Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted; and eagerto serve his lord and lady he set off very willingly for Sancho'svillage. Before he entered it he observed a number of women washing in abrook, and asked them if they could tell him whether there lived there awoman of the name of Teresa Panza, wife of one Sancho Panza, squire to aknight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At the question a young girl whowas washing stood up and said, "Teresa Panza is my mother, and thatSancho is my father, and that knight is our master.""Well then, miss," said the page, "come and show me where your mother is,for I bring her a letter and a present from your father.""That I will with all my heart, senor," said the girl, who seemed to beabout fourteen, more or less; and leaving the clothes she was washing toone of her companions, and without putting anything on her head or feet,for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging about her, away sheskipped in front of the page's horse, saying, "Come, your worship, ourhouse is at the entrance of the town, and my mother is there, sorrowfulenough at not having had any news of my father this ever so long.""Well," said the page, "I am bringing her such good news that she willhave reason to thank God."And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the town, butbefore going into the house she called out at the door, "Come out, motherTeresa, come out, come out; here's a gentleman with letters and otherthings from my good father." At these words her mother Teresa Panza cameout spinning a bundle of flax, in a grey petticoat (so short was it onewould have fancied "they to her shame had cut it short"), a grey bodiceof the same stuff, and a smock. She was not very old, though plainly pastforty, strong, healthy, vigorous, and sun-dried; and seeing her daughterand the page on horseback, she exclaimed, "What's this, child? Whatgentleman is this?""A servant of my lady, Dona Teresa Panza," replied the page; and suitingthe action to the word he flung himself off his horse, and with greathumility advanced to kneel before the lady Teresa, saying, "Let me kissyour hand, Senora Dona Teresa, as the lawful and only wife of Senor DonSancho Panza, rightful governor of the island of Barataria.""Ah, senor, get up, do that," said Teresa; "for I'm not a bit of a courtlady, but only a poor country woman, the daughter of a clodcrusher, andthe wife of a squire-errant and not of any governor at all.""You are," said the page, "the most worthy wife of a most arch-worthygovernor; and as a proof of what I say accept this letter and thispresent;" and at the same time he took out of his pocket a string ofcoral beads with gold clasps, and placed it on her neck, and said, "Thisletter is from his lordship the governor, and the other as well as thesecoral beads from my lady the duchess, who sends me to your worship."Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much, and thegirl said, "May I die but our master Don Quixote's at the bottom of this;he must have given father the government or county he so often promisedhim.""That is the truth," said the page; "for it is through Senor Don Quixotethat Senor Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria, as will beseen by this letter.""Will your worship read it to me, noble sir?" said Teresa; "for though Ican spin I can't read, not a scrap.""Nor I either," said Sanchica; "but wait a bit, and I'll go and fetchsome one who can read it, either the curate himself or the bachelorSamson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news of my father.""There is no need to fetch anybody," said the page; "for though I can'tspin I can read, and I'll read it;" and so he read it through, but as ithas been already given it is not inserted here; and then he took out theother one from the duchess, which ran as follows:Friend Teresa,--Your husband Sancho's good qualities, of heart as well asof head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the duke to givehim the government of one of his many islands. I am told he governs likea gerfalcon, of which I am very glad, and my lord the duke, of course,also; and I am very thankful to heaven that I have not made a mistake inchoosing him for that same government; for I would have Senora Teresaknow that a good governor is hard to find in this world and may God makeme as good as Sancho's way of governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, astring of coral beads with gold clasps; I wish they were Oriental pearls;but "he who gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead;" a timewill come when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but Godknows the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her fromme to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for herwhen she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in yourvillage; send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value them greatlyas coming from your hand; and write to me at length to assure me of yourhealth and well-being; and if there be anything you stand in need of, itis but to open your mouth, and that shall be the measure; and so God keepyou.From this place. Your loving friend, THE DUCHESS."Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" said Teresa when she heard theletter; "that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not thegentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy because they are gentlewomenthe wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much airs as ifthey were queens, no less, and seem to think they are disgraced if theylook at a farmer's wife! And see here how this good lady, for all she's aduchess, calls me 'friend,' and treats me as if I was her equal--andequal may I see her with the tallest church-tower in La Mancha! And asfor the acorns, senor, I'll send her ladyship a peck and such big onesthat one might come to see them as a show and a wonder. And now,Sanchica, see that the gentleman is comfortable; put up his horse, andget some eggs out of the stable, and cut plenty of bacon, and let's givehim his dinner like a prince; for the good news he has brought, and hisown bonny face deserve it all; and meanwhile I'll run out and give theneighbours the news of our good luck, and father curate, and MasterNicholas the barber, who are and always have been such friends of thyfather's.""That I will, mother," said Sanchica; "but mind, you must give me half ofthat string; for I don't think my lady the duchess could have been sostupid as to send it all to you.""It is all for thee, my child," said Teresa; "but let me wear it round myneck for a few days; for verily it seems to make my heart glad.""You will be glad too," said the page, "when you see the bundle there isin this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth, that thegovernor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for SenoraSanchica.""May he live a thousand years," said Sanchica, "and the bearer as many,nay two thousand, if needful."With this Teresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with thestring of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the letters asif they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across the curate andSamson Carrasco she began capering and saying, "None of us poor now,faith! We've got a little government! Ay, let the finest fine lady tackleme, and I'll give her a setting down!""What's all this, Teresa Panza," said they; "what madness is this, andwhat papers are those?""The madness is only this," said she, "that these are the letters ofduchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coralbeads, with ave-marias and paternosters of beaten gold, and I am agoverness.""God help us," said the curate, "we don't understand you, Teresa, or knowwhat you are talking about.""There, you may see it yourselves," said Teresa, and she handed them theletters.The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and heregarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had read,and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Teresa in reply badethem come with her to her house and they would see the messenger, a mostelegant youth, who had brought another present which was worth as muchmore. The curate took the coral beads from her neck and examined themagain and again, and having satisfied himself as to their fineness hefell to wondering afresh, and said, "By the gown I wear I don't know whatto say or think of these letters and presents; on the one hand I can seeand feel the fineness of these coral beads, and on the other I read how aduchess sends to beg for a couple of dozen of acorns.""Square that if you can," said Carrasco; "well, let's go and see themessenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery that hasturned up."They did so, and Teresa returned with them. They found the page sifting alittle barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon to bepaved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his handsome apparelpleased them both greatly; and after they had saluted him courteously,and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news, as well of DonQuixote as of Sancho Panza, for, he said, though they had read theletters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they were still puzzledand could not make out what was meant by Sancho's government, and aboveall of an island, when all or most of those in the Mediterranean belongedto his Majesty.To this the page replied, "As to Senor Sancho Panza's being a governorthere is no doubt whatever; but whether it is an island or not that hegoverns, with that I have nothing to do; suffice it that it is a town ofmore than a thousand inhabitants; with regard to the acorns I may tellyou my lady the duchess is so unpretending and unassuming that, not tospeak of sending to beg for acorns from a peasant woman, she has beenknown to send to ask for the loan of a comb from one of her neighbours;for I would have your worships know that the ladies of Aragon, thoughthey are just as illustrious, are not so punctilious and haughty as theCastilian ladies; they treat people with greater familiarity."In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt fullof eggs, and said she to the page, "Tell me, senor, does my father weartrunk-hose since he has been governor?""I have not noticed," said the page; "but no doubt he wears them.""Ah! my God!" said Sanchica, "what a sight it must be to see my father intights! Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a longing tosee my father in trunk-hose?""As things go you will see that if you live," said the page; "by God heis in the way to take the road with a sunshade if the government onlylasts him two months more."The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page spokein a waggish vein; but the fineness of the coral beads, and the huntingsuit that Sancho sent (for Teresa had already shown it to them) did awaywith the impression; and they could not help laughing at Sanchica's wish,and still more when Teresa said, "Senor curate, look about if there'sanybody here going to Madrid or Toledo, to buy me a hooped petticoat, aproper fashionable one of the best quality; for indeed and indeed I mustdo honour to my husband's government as well as I can; nay, if I am putto it and have to, I'll go to Court and set a coach like all the world;for she who has a governor for her husband may very well have one andkeep one.""And why not, mother!" said Sanchica; "would to God it were to-dayinstead of to-morrow, even though they were to say when they saw meseated in the coach with my mother, 'See that rubbish, thatgarlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease in acoach as if she was a she-pope!' But let them tramp through the mud, andlet me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck to backbitersall over the world; 'let me go warm and the people may laugh.' Do I sayright, mother?""To be sure you do, my child," said Teresa; "and all this good luck, andeven more, my good Sancho foretold me; and thou wilt see, my daughter, hewon't stop till he has made me a countess; for to make a beginning iseverything in luck; and as I have heard thy good father say many a time(for besides being thy father he's the father of proverbs too), 'Whenthey offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; when they offer thee agovernment, take it; when they would give thee a county, seize it; whenthey say, "Here, here!" to thee with something good, swallow it.' Oh no!go to sleep, and don't answer the strokes of good fortune and the luckychances that are knocking at the door of your house!""And what do I care," added Sanchica, "whether anybody says when he seesme holding my head up, 'The dog saw himself in hempen breeches,' and therest of it?"Hearing this the curate said, "I do believe that all this family of thePanzas are born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides, every one ofthem; I never saw one of them that does not pour them out at all timesand on all occasions.""That is true," said the page, "for Senor Governor Sancho utters them atevery turn; and though a great many of them are not to the purpose, stillthey amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke praise them highly.""Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government is true,senor," said the bachelor, "and that there actually is a duchess whosends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although we havehandled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and suspect itto be something in the line of our fellow-townsman Don Quixote, whofancies that everything is done by enchantment; and for this reason I amalmost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel your worship to seewhether you are a mere ambassador of the imagination or a man of fleshand blood.""All I know, sirs," replied the page, "is that I am a real ambassador,and that Senor Sancho Panza is governor as a matter of fact, and that mylord and lady the duke and duchess can give, and have given him this samegovernment, and that I have heard the said Sancho Panza bears himselfvery stoutly therein; whether there be any enchantment in all this ornot, it is for your worships to settle between you; for that's all I knowby the oath I swear, and that is by the life of my parents whom I havestill alive, and love dearly.""It may be so," said the bachelor; "but dubitat Augustinus.""Doubt who will," said the page; "what I have told you is the truth, andthat will always rise above falsehood as oil above water; if not operibuscredite, et non verbis. Let one of you come with me, and he will see withhis eyes what he does not believe with his ears.""It's for me to make that trip," said Sanchica; "take me with you, senor,behind you on your horse; for I'll go with all my heart to see myfather.""Governors' daughters," said the page, "must not travel along the roadsalone, but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number ofattendants.""By God," said Sanchica, "I can go just as well mounted on a she-ass asin a coach; what a dainty lass you must take me for!""Hush, girl," said Teresa; "you don't know what you're talking about; thegentleman is quite right, for 'as the time so the behaviour;' when it wasSancho it was 'Sancha;' when it is governor it's 'senora;' I don't knowif I'm right.""Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of," said the page; "and nowgive me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to return thisevening.""Come and do penance with me," said the curate at this; "for SenoraTeresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest."The page refused, but had to consent at last for his own sake; and thecurate took him home with him very gladly, in order to have anopportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and hisdoings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa;but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for shethought him somewhat given to joking; and so she gave a cake and a coupleof eggs to a young acolyte who was a penman, and he wrote for her twoletters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess, dictated outof her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this great history,as will be seen farther on.