PART II - CHAPTER XXV.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　WHEREIN IS SET DOWN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, AND THE DROLL ONE OF THEPUPPET-SHOWMAN, TOGETHER WITH THE MEMORABLE DIVINATIONS OF THE DIVININGAPEDon Quixote's bread would not bake, as the common saying is, until he hadheard and learned the curious things promised by the man who carried thearms. He went to seek him where the innkeeper said he was and havingfound him, bade him say now at any rate what he had to say in answer tothe question he had asked him on the road. "The tale of my wonders mustbe taken more leisurely and not standing," said the man; "let me finishfoddering my beast, good sir; and then I'll tell you things that willastonish you.""Don't wait for that," said Don Quixote; "I'll help you in everything,"and so he did, sifting the barley for him and cleaning out the manger; adegree of humility which made the other feel bound to tell him with agood grace what he had asked; so seating himself on a bench, with DonQuixote beside him, and the cousin, the page, Sancho Panza, and thelandlord, for a senate and an audience, he began his story in this way:"You must know that in a village four leagues and a half from this inn,it so happened that one of the regidors, by the tricks and roguery of aservant girl of his (it's too long a tale to tell), lost an ass; andthough he did all he possibly could to find it, it was all to no purpose.A fortnight might have gone by, so the story goes, since the ass had beenmissing, when, as the regidor who had lost it was standing in the plaza,another regidor of the same town said to him, 'Pay me for good news,gossip; your ass has turned up.' 'That I will, and well, gossip,' saidthe other; 'but tell us, where has he turned up?' 'In the forest,' saidthe finder; 'I saw him this morning without pack-saddle or harness of anysort, and so lean that it went to one's heart to see him. I tried todrive him before me and bring him to you, but he is already so wild andshy that when I went near him he made off into the thickest part of theforest. If you have a mind that we two should go back and look for him,let me put up this she-ass at my house and I'll be back at once.' 'Youwill be doing me a great kindness,' said the owner of the ass, 'and I'lltry to pay it back in the same coin.' It is with all these circumstances,and in the very same way I am telling it now, that those who know allabout the matter tell the story. Well then, the two regidors set off onfoot, arm in arm, for the forest, and coming to the place where theyhoped to find the ass they could not find him, nor was he to be seenanywhere about, search as they might. Seeing, then, that there was nosign of him, the regidor who had seen him said to the other, 'Look here,gossip; a plan has occurred to me, by which, beyond a doubt, we shallmanage to discover the animal, even if he is stowed away in the bowels ofthe earth, not to say the forest. Here it is. I can bray to perfection,and if you can ever so little, the thing's as good as done.' 'Ever solittle did you say, gossip?' said the other; 'by God, I'll not give in toanybody, not even to the asses themselves.' 'We'll soon see,' said thesecond regidor, 'for my plan is that you should go one side of theforest, and I the other, so as to go all round about it; and every nowand then you will bray and I will bray; and it cannot be but that the asswill hear us, and answer us if he is in the forest.' To which the ownerof the ass replied, 'It's an excellent plan, I declare, gossip, andworthy of your great genius;' and the two separating as agreed, it sofell out that they brayed almost at the same moment, and each, deceivedby the braying of the other, ran to look, fancying the ass had turned upat last. When they came in sight of one another, said the loser, 'Is itpossible, gossip, that it was not my ass that brayed?' 'No, it was I,'said the other. 'Well then, I can tell you, gossip,' said the ass'sowner, 'that between you and an ass there is not an atom of difference asfar as braying goes, for I never in all my life saw or heard anythingmore natural.' 'Those praises and compliments belong to you more justlythan to me, gossip,' said the inventor of the plan; 'for, by the God thatmade me, you might give a couple of brays odds to the best and mostfinished brayer in the world; the tone you have got is deep, your voiceis well kept up as to time and pitch, and your finishing notes come thickand fast; in fact, I own myself beaten, and yield the palm to you, andgive in to you in this rare accomplishment.' 'Well then,' said the owner,'I'll set a higher value on myself for the future, and consider that Iknow something, as I have an excellence of some sort; for though I alwaysthought I brayed well, I never supposed I came up to the pitch ofperfection you say.' 'And I say too,' said the second, 'that there arerare gifts going to loss in the world, and that they are ill bestowedupon those who don't know how to make use of them.' 'Ours,' said theowner of the ass, 'unless it is in cases like this we have now in hand,cannot be of any service to us, and even in this God grant they may be ofsome use.' So saying they separated, and took to their braying once more,but every instant they were deceiving one another, and coming to meet oneanother again, until they arranged by way of countersign, so as to knowthat it was they and not the ass, to give two brays, one after the other.In this way, doubling the brays at every step, they made the completecircuit of the forest, but the lost ass never gave them an answer or eventhe sign of one. How could the poor ill-starred brute have answered,when, in the thickest part of the forest, they found him devoured bywolves? As soon as he saw him his owner said, 'I was wondering he did notanswer, for if he wasn't dead he'd have brayed when he heard us, or he'dhave been no ass; but for the sake of having heard you bray to suchperfection, gossip, I count the trouble I have taken to look for him wellbestowed, even though I have found him dead.' 'It's in a good hand,gossip,' said the other; 'if the abbot sings well, the acolyte is notmuch behind him.' So they returned disconsolate and hoarse to theirvillage, where they told their friends, neighbours, and acquaintanceswhat had befallen them in their search for the ass, each crying up theother's perfection in braying. The whole story came to be known andspread abroad through the villages of the neighbourhood; and the devil,who never sleeps, with his love for sowing dissensions and scatteringdiscord everywhere, blowing mischief about and making quarrels out ofnothing, contrived to make the people of the other towns fall to brayingwhenever they saw anyone from our village, as if to throw the braying ofour regidors in our teeth. Then the boys took to it, which was the samething for it as getting into the hands and mouths of all the devils ofhell; and braying spread from one town to another in such a way that themen of the braying town are as easy to be known as blacks are to be knownfrom whites, and the unlucky joke has gone so far that several times thescoffed have come out in arms and in a body to do battle with thescoffers, and neither king nor rook, fear nor shame, can mend matters.To-morrow or the day after, I believe, the men of my town, that is, ofthe braying town, are going to take the field against another village twoleagues away from ours, one of those that persecute us most; and that wemay turn out well prepared I have bought these lances and halberds youhave seen. These are the curious things I told you I had to tell, and ifyou don't think them so, I have got no others;" and with this the worthyfellow brought his story to a close.Just at this moment there came in at the gate of the inn a man entirelyclad in chamois leather, hose, breeches, and doublet, who said in a loudvoice, "Senor host, have you room? Here's the divining ape and the showof the Release of Melisendra just coming.""Ods body!" said the landlord, "why, it's Master Pedro! We're in for agrand night!" I forgot to mention that the said Master Pedro had his lefteye and nearly half his cheek covered with a patch of green taffety,showing that something ailed all that side. "Your worship is welcome,Master Pedro," continued the landlord; "but where are the ape and theshow, for I don't see them?" "They are close at hand," said he in thechamois leather, "but I came on first to know if there was any room.""I'd make the Duke of Alva himself clear out to make room for MasterPedro," said the landlord; "bring in the ape and the show; there'scompany in the inn to-night that will pay to see that and the clevernessof the ape." "So be it by all means," said the man with the patch; "I'lllower the price, and be well satisfied if I only pay my expenses; and nowI'll go back and hurry on the cart with the ape and the show;" and withthis he went out of the inn.Don Quixote at once asked the landlord what this Master Pedro was, andwhat was the show and what was the ape he had with him; which thelandlord replied, "This is a famous puppet-showman, who for some timepast has been going about this Mancha de Aragon, exhibiting a show of therelease of Melisendra by the famous Don Gaiferos, one of the best andbest-represented stories that have been seen in this part of the kingdomfor many a year; he has also with him an ape with the most extraordinarygift ever seen in an ape or imagined in a human being; for if you ask himanything, he listens attentively to the question, and then jumps on hismaster's shoulder, and pressing close to his ear tells him the answerwhich Master Pedro then delivers. He says a great deal more about thingspast than about things to come; and though he does not always hit thetruth in every case, most times he is not far wrong, so that he makes usfancy he has got the devil in him. He gets two reals for every questionif the ape answers; I mean if his master answers for him after he haswhispered into his ear; and so it is believed that this same Master Pedrois very rich. He is a 'gallant man' as they say in Italy, and goodcompany, and leads the finest life in the world; talks more than six,drinks more than a dozen, and all by his tongue, and his ape, and hisshow."Master Pedro now came back, and in a cart followed the show and theape--a big one, without a tail and with buttocks as bare as felt, but notvicious-looking. As soon as Don Quixote saw him, he asked him, "Can youtell me, sir fortune-teller, what fish do we catch, and how will it bewith us? See, here are my two reals," and he bade Sancho give them toMaster Pedro; but he answered for the ape and said, "Senor, this animaldoes not give any answer or information touching things that are to come;of things past he knows something, and more or less of things present.""Gad," said Sancho, "I would not give a farthing to be told what's pastwith me, for who knows that better than I do myself? And to pay for beingtold what I know would be mighty foolish. But as you know things present,here are my two reals, and tell me, most excellent sir ape, what is mywife Teresa Panza doing now, and what is she diverting herself with?"Master Pedro refused to take the money, saying, "I will not receivepayment in advance or until the service has been first rendered;" andthen with his right hand he gave a couple of slaps on his left shoulder,and with one spring the ape perched himself upon it, and putting hismouth to his master's ear began chattering his teeth rapidly; and havingkept this up as long as one would be saying a credo, with another springhe brought himself to the ground, and the same instant Master Pedro ranin great haste and fell upon his knees before Don Quixote, and embracinghis legs exclaimed, "These legs do I embrace as I would embrace the twopillars of Hercules, O illustrious reviver of knight-errantry, so longconsigned to oblivion! O never yet duly extolled knight, Don Quixote ofLa Mancha, courage of the faint-hearted, prop of the tottering, arm ofthe fallen, staff and counsel of all who are unfortunate!"Don Quixote was thunderstruck, Sancho astounded, the cousin staggered,the page astonished, the man from the braying town agape, the landlord inperplexity, and, in short, everyone amazed at the words of thepuppet-showman, who went on to say, "And thou, worthy Sancho Panza, thebest squire and squire to the best knight in the world! Be of good cheer,for thy good wife Teresa is well, and she is at this moment hackling apound of flax; and more by token she has at her left hand a jug with abroken spout that holds a good drop of wine, with which she solacesherself at her work.""That I can well believe," said Sancho. "She is a lucky one, and if itwas not for her jealousy I would not change her for the giantessAndandona, who by my master's account was a very clever and worthy woman;my Teresa is one of those that won't let themselves want for anything,though their heirs may have to pay for it.""Now I declare," said Don Quixote, "he who reads much and travels muchsees and knows a great deal. I say so because what amount of persuasioncould have persuaded me that there are apes in the world that can divineas I have seen now with my own eyes? For I am that very Don Quixote of LaMancha this worthy animal refers to, though he has gone rather too far inmy praise; but whatever I may be, I thank heaven that it has endowed mewith a tender and compassionate heart, always disposed to do good to alland harm to none.""If I had money," said the page, "I would ask senor ape what will happenme in the peregrination I am making."To this Master Pedro, who had by this time risen from Don Quixote's feet,replied, "I have already said that this little beast gives no answer asto the future; but if he did, not having money would be of noconsequence, for to oblige Senor Don Quixote, here present, I would giveup all the profits in the world. And now, because I have promised it, andto afford him pleasure, I will set up my show and offer entertainment toall who are in the inn, without any charge whatever." As soon as he heardthis, the landlord, delighted beyond measure, pointed out a place wherethe show might be fixed, which was done at once.Don Quixote was not very well satisfied with the divinations of the ape,as he did not think it proper that an ape should divine anything, eitherpast or future; so while Master Pedro was arranging the show, he retiredwith Sancho into a corner of the stable, where, without being overheardby anyone, he said to him, "Look here, Sancho, I have been seriouslythinking over this ape's extraordinary gift, and have come to theconclusion that beyond doubt this Master Pedro, his master, has a pact,tacit or express, with the devil.""If the packet is express from the devil," said Sancho, "it must be avery dirty packet no doubt; but what good can it do Master Pedro to havesuch packets?""Thou dost not understand me, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "I only mean hemust have made some compact with the devil to infuse this power into theape, that he may get his living, and after he has grown rich he will givehim his soul, which is what the enemy of mankind wants; this I am led tobelieve by observing that the ape only answers about things past orpresent, and the devil's knowledge extends no further; for the future heknows only by guesswork, and that not always; for it is reserved for Godalone to know the times and the seasons, and for him there is neitherpast nor future; all is present. This being as it is, it is clear thatthis ape speaks by the spirit of the devil; and I am astonished they havenot denounced him to the Holy Office, and put him to the question, andforced it out of him by whose virtue it is that he divines; because it iscertain this ape is not an astrologer; neither his master nor he sets up,or knows how to set up, those figures they call judiciary, which are nowso common in Spain that there is not a jade, or page, or old cobbler,that will not undertake to set up a figure as readily as pick up a knaveof cards from the ground, bringing to nought the marvellous truth of thescience by their lies and ignorance. I know of a lady who asked one ofthese figure schemers whether her little lap-dog would be in pup andwould breed, and how many and of what colour the little pups would be. Towhich senor astrologer, after having set up his figure, made answer thatthe bitch would be in pup, and would drop three pups, one green, anotherbright red, and the third parti-coloured, provided she conceived betweeneleven and twelve either of the day or night, and on a Monday orSaturday; but as things turned out, two days after this the bitch died ofa surfeit, and senor planet-ruler had the credit all over the place ofbeing a most profound astrologer, as most of these planet-rulers have.""Still," said Sancho, "I would be glad if your worship would make MasterPedro ask his ape whether what happened your worship in the cave ofMontesinos is true; for, begging your worship's pardon, I, for my part,take it to have been all flam and lies, or at any rate something youdreamt.""That may be," replied Don Quixote; "however, I will do what you suggest;though I have my own scruples about it."At this point Master Pedro came up in quest of Don Quixote, to tell himthe show was now ready and to come and see it, for it was worth seeing.Don Quixote explained his wish, and begged him to ask his ape at once totell him whether certain things which had happened to him in the cave ofMontesinos were dreams or realities, for to him they appeared to partakeof both. Upon this Master Pedro, without answering, went back to fetchthe ape, and, having placed it in front of Don Quixote and Sancho, said:"See here, senor ape, this gentleman wishes to know whether certainthings which happened to him in the cave called the cave of Montesinoswere false or true." On his making the usual sign the ape mounted on hisleft shoulder and seemed to whisper in his ear, and Master Pedro said atonce, "The ape says that the things you saw or that happened to you inthat cave are, part of them false, part true; and that he only knows thisand no more as regards this question; but if your worship wishes to knowmore, on Friday next he will answer all that may be asked him, for hisvirtue is at present exhausted, and will not return to him till Friday,as he has said.""Did I not say, senor," said Sancho, "that I could not bring myself tobelieve that all your worship said about the adventures in the cave wastrue, or even the half of it?""The course of events will tell, Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "time,that discloses all things, leaves nothing that it does not drag into thelight of day, though it be buried in the bosom of the earth. But enoughof that for the present; let us go and see Master Pedro's show, for I amsure there must be something novel in it.""Something!" said Master Pedro; "this show of mine has sixty thousandnovel things in it; let me tell you, Senor Don Quixote, it is one of thebest-worth-seeing things in the world this day; but operibus credite etnon verbis, and now let's get to work, for it is growing late, and wehave a great deal to do and to say and show."Don Quixote and Sancho obeyed him and went to where the show was alreadyput up and uncovered, set all around with lighted wax tapers which madeit look splendid and bright. When they came to it Master Pedro ensconcedhimself inside it, for it was he who had to work the puppets, and a boy,a servant of his, posted himself outside to act as showman and explainthe mysteries of the exhibition, having a wand in his hand to point tothe figures as they came out. And so, all who were in the inn beingarranged in front of the show, some of them standing, and Don Quixote,Sancho, the page, and cousin, accommodated with the best places, theinterpreter began to say what he will hear or see who reads or hears thenext chapter.