PART II - CHAPTER XXXVIII.

by Miguel de Cervantes

　　WHEREIN IS TOLD THE DISTRESSED DUENNA'S TALE OF HER MISFORTUNESFollowing the melancholy musicians there filed into the garden as many astwelve duennas, in two lines, all dressed in ample mourning robesapparently of milled serge, with hoods of fine white gauze so long thatthey allowed only the border of the robe to be seen. Behind them came theCountess Trifaldi, the squire Trifaldin of the White Beard leading her bythe hand, clad in the finest unnapped black baize, such that, had it anap, every tuft would have shown as big as a Martos chickpea; the tail,or skirt, or whatever it might be called, ended in three points whichwere borne up by the hands of three pages, likewise dressed in mourning,forming an elegant geometrical figure with the three acute angles made bythe three points, from which all who saw the peaked skirt concluded thatit must be because of it the countess was called Trifaldi, as though itwere Countess of the Three Skirts; and Benengeli says it was so, and thatby her right name she was called the Countess Lobuna, because wolves bredin great numbers in her country; and if, instead of wolves, they had beenfoxes, she would have been called the Countess Zorruna, as it was thecustom in those parts for lords to take distinctive titles from the thingor things most abundant in their dominions; this countess, however, inhonour of the new fashion of her skirt, dropped Lobuna and took upTrifaldi.The twelve duennas and the lady came on at procession pace, their facesbeing covered with black veils, not transparent ones like Trifaldin's,but so close that they allowed nothing to be seen through them. As soonas the band of duennas was fully in sight, the duke, the duchess, and DonQuixote stood up, as well as all who were watching the slow-movingprocession. The twelve duennas halted and formed a lane, along which theDistressed One advanced, Trifaldin still holding her hand. On seeing thisthe duke, the duchess, and Don Quixote went some twelve paces forward tomeet her. She then, kneeling on the ground, said in a voice hoarse andrough, rather than fine and delicate, "May it please your highnesses notto offer such courtesies to this your servant, I should say to this yourhandmaid, for I am in such distress that I shall never be able to make aproper return, because my strange and unparalleled misfortune has carriedoff my wits, and I know not whither; but it must be a long way off, forthe more I look for them the less I find them.""He would be wanting in wits, senora countess," said the duke, "who didnot perceive your worth by your person, for at a glance it may be seen itdeserves all the cream of courtesy and flower of polite usage;" andraising her up by the hand he led her to a seat beside the duchess, wholikewise received her with great urbanity. Don Quixote remained silent,while Sancho was dying to see the features of Trifaldi and one or two ofher many duennas; but there was no possibility of it until theythemselves displayed them of their own accord and free will.All kept still, waiting to see who would break silence, which theDistressed Duenna did in these words: "I am confident, most mighty lord,most fair lady, and most discreet company, that my most miserable miserywill be accorded a reception no less dispassionate than generous andcondolent in your most valiant bosoms, for it is one that is enough tomelt marble, soften diamonds, and mollify the steel of the most hardenedhearts in the world; but ere it is proclaimed to your hearing, not to sayyour ears, I would fain be enlightened whether there be present in thissociety, circle, or company, that knight immaculatissimus, Don Quixote dela Manchissima, and his squirissimus Panza.""The Panza is here," said Sancho, before anyone could reply, "and DonQuixotissimus too; and so, most distressedest Duenissima, you may saywhat you willissimus, for we are all readissimus to do you anyservissimus."On this Don Quixote rose, and addressing the Distressed Duenna, said, "Ifyour sorrows, afflicted lady, can indulge in any hope of relief from thevalour or might of any knight-errant, here are mine, which, feeble andlimited though they be, shall be entirely devoted to your service. I amDon Quixote of La Mancha, whose calling it is to give aid to the needy ofall sorts; and that being so, it is not necessary for you, senora, tomake any appeal to benevolence, or deal in preambles, only to tell yourwoes plainly and straightforwardly: for you have hearers that will knowhow, if not to remedy them, to sympathise with them."On hearing this, the Distressed Duenna made as though she would throwherself at Don Quixote's feet, and actually did fall before them andsaid, as she strove to embrace them, "Before these feet and legs I castmyself, O unconquered knight, as before, what they are, the foundationsand pillars of knight-errantry; these feet I desire to kiss, for upontheir steps hangs and depends the sole remedy for my misfortune, Ovalorous errant, whose veritable achievements leave behind and eclipsethe fabulous ones of the Amadises, Esplandians, and Belianises!" Thenturning from Don Quixote to Sancho Panza, and grasping his hands, shesaid, "O thou, most loyal squire that ever served knight-errant in thispresent age or ages past, whose goodness is more extensive than the beardof Trifaldin my companion here of present, well mayest thou boast thyselfthat, in serving the great Don Quixote, thou art serving, summed up inone, the whole host of knights that have ever borne arms in the world. Iconjure thee, by what thou owest to thy most loyal goodness, that thouwilt become my kind intercessor with thy master, that he speedily giveaid to this most humble and most unfortunate countess."To this Sancho made answer, "As to my goodness, senora, being as long andas great as your squire's beard, it matters very little to me; may I havemy soul well bearded and moustached when it comes to quit this life,that's the point; about beards here below I care little or nothing; butwithout all these blandishments and prayers, I will beg my master (for Iknow he loves me, and, besides, he has need of me just now for a certainbusiness) to help and aid your worship as far as he can; unpack your woesand lay them before us, and leave us to deal with them, for we'll be allof one mind."The duke and duchess, as it was they who had made the experiment of thisadventure, were ready to burst with laughter at all this, and betweenthemselves they commended the clever acting of the Trifaldi, who,returning to her seat, said, "Queen Dona Maguncia reigned over the famouskingdom of Kandy, which lies between the great Trapobana and the SouthernSea, two leagues beyond Cape Comorin. She was the widow of KingArchipiela, her lord and husband, and of their marriage they had issuethe Princess Antonomasia, heiress of the kingdom; which PrincessAntonomasia was reared and brought up under my care and direction, Ibeing the oldest and highest in rank of her mother's duennas. Timepassed, and the young Antonomasia reached the age of fourteen, and such aperfection of beauty, that nature could not raise it higher. Then, itmust not be supposed her intelligence was childish; she was asintelligent as she was fair, and she was fairer than all the world; andis so still, unless the envious fates and hard-hearted sisters three havecut for her the thread of life. But that they have not, for Heaven willnot suffer so great a wrong to Earth, as it would be to pluck unripe thegrapes of the fairest vineyard on its surface. Of this beauty, to whichmy poor feeble tongue has failed to do justice, countless princes, notonly of that country, but of others, were enamoured, and among them aprivate gentleman, who was at the court, dared to raise his thoughts tothe heaven of so great beauty, trusting to his youth, his gallantbearing, his numerous accomplishments and graces, and his quickness andreadiness of wit; for I may tell your highnesses, if I am not wearyingyou, that he played the guitar so as to make it speak, and he was,besides, a poet and a great dancer, and he could make birdcages so well,that by making them alone he might have gained a livelihood, had he foundhimself reduced to utter poverty; and gifts and graces of this kind areenough to bring down a mountain, not to say a tender young girl. But allhis gallantry, wit, and gaiety, all his graces and accomplishments, wouldhave been of little or no avail towards gaining the fortress of my pupil,had not the impudent thief taken the precaution of gaining me over first.First, the villain and heartless vagabond sought to win my good-will andpurchase my compliance, so as to get me, like a treacherous warder, todeliver up to him the keys of the fortress I had in charge. In a word, hegained an influence over my mind, and overcame my resolutions with I knownot what trinkets and jewels he gave me; but it was some verses I heardhim singing one night from a grating that opened on the street where helived, that, more than anything else, made me give way and led to myfall; and if I remember rightly they ran thus: From that sweet enemy of mine My bleeding heart hath had its wound; And to increase the pain I'm bound To suffer and to make no sign. The lines seemed pearls to me and his voice sweet as syrup; andafterwards, I may say ever since then, looking at the misfortune intowhich I have fallen, I have thought that poets, as Plato advised, oughtto be banished from all well-ordered States; at least the amatory ones,for they write verses, not like those of 'The Marquis of Mantua,' thatdelight and draw tears from the women and children, but sharp-pointedconceits that pierce the heart like soft thorns, and like the lightningstrike it, leaving the raiment uninjured. Another time he sang: Come Death, so subtly veiled that I Thy coming know not, how or when, Lest it should give me life again To find how sweet it is to die. --and other verses and burdens of the same sort, such as enchant whensung and fascinate when written. And then, when they condescend tocompose a sort of verse that was at that time in vogue in Kandy, whichthey call seguidillas! Then it is that hearts leap and laughter breaksforth, and the body grows restless and all the senses turn quicksilver.And so I say, sirs, that these troubadours richly deserve to be banishedto the isles of the lizards. Though it is not they that are in fault, butthe simpletons that extol them, and the fools that believe in them; andhad I been the faithful duenna I should have been, his stale conceitswould have never moved me, nor should I have been taken in by suchphrases as 'in death I live,' 'in ice I burn,' 'in flames I shiver,''hopeless I hope,' 'I go and stay,' and paradoxes of that sort whichtheir writings are full of. And then when they promise the Phoenix ofArabia, the crown of Ariadne, the horses of the Sun, the pearls of theSouth, the gold of Tibar, and the balsam of Panchaia! Then it is theygive a loose to their pens, for it costs them little to make promisesthey have no intention or power of fulfilling. But where am I wanderingto? Woe is me, unfortunate being! What madness or folly leads me to speakof the faults of others, when there is so much to be said about my own?Again, woe is me, hapless that I am! it was not verses that conquered me,but my own simplicity; it was not music made me yield, but my ownimprudence; my own great ignorance and little caution opened the way andcleared the path for Don Clavijo's advances, for that was the name of thegentleman I have referred to; and so, with my help as go-between, hefound his way many a time into the chamber of the deceived Antonomasia(deceived not by him but by me) under the title of a lawful husband; for,sinner though I was, would not have allowed him to approach the edge ofher shoe-sole without being her husband. No, no, not that; marriage mustcome first in any business of this sort that I take in hand. But therewas one hitch in this case, which was that of inequality of rank, DonClavijo being a private gentleman, and the Princess Antonomasia, as Isaid, heiress to the kingdom. The entanglement remained for some time asecret, kept hidden by my cunning precautions, until I perceived that acertain expansion of waist in Antonomasia must before long disclose it,the dread of which made us all there take counsel together, and it wasagreed that before the mischief came to light, Don Clavijo should demandAntonomasia as his wife before the Vicar, in virtue of an agreement tomarry him made by the princess, and drafted by my wit in such bindingterms that the might of Samson could not have broken it. The necessarysteps were taken; the Vicar saw the agreement, and took the lady'sconfession; she confessed everything in full, and he ordered her into thecustody of a very worthy alguacil of the court.""Are there alguacils of the court in Kandy, too," said Sancho at this,"and poets, and seguidillas? I swear I think the world is the same allover! But make haste, Senora Trifaldi; for it is late, and I am dying toknow the end of this long story.""I will," replied the countess.