The Man and the Wart

by Ambrose Bierce

　　A PERSON with a Wart on His Nose met a Person Similarly Afflicted, and said:"Let me propose your name for membership in the Imperial Order of Abnormal Proboscidians, of which I am the High Noble Toby and Surreptitious Treasurer. Two months ago I was the only member. One month ago there were two. To-day we number four Emperors of the Abnormal Proboscis in good standing - doubles every four weeks, see? That's geometrical progression - you know how that piles up. In a year and a half every man in California will have a wart on his Nose. Powerful Order! Initiation, five dollars.""My friend," said the Person Similarly Afflicted, "here are five dollars. Keep my name off your books.""Thank you kindly," the Man with a Wart on His Nose replied, pocketing the money; "it is just the same to us as if you joined. Good-by."He went away, but in a little while he was back."I quite forgot to mention the monthly dues," he said.