II. Lady Susan to Mrs. Johnson

by Jane Austen

　　Langford.You were mistaken, my dear Alicia, in supposing me fixed at this placefor the rest of the winter: it grieves me to say how greatly you weremistaken, for I have seldom spent three months more agreeably than thosewhich have just flown away. At present, nothing goes smoothly; the femalesof the family are united against me. You foretold how it would be when Ifirst came to Langford, and Mainwaring is so uncommonly pleasing that I wasnot without apprehensions for myself. I remember saying to myself, as Idrove to the house, "I like this man, pray Heaven no harm come of it!" ButI was determined to be discreet, to bear in mind my being only four monthsa widow, and to be as quiet as possible: and I have been so, my dearcreature; I have admitted no one's attentions but Mainwaring's. I haveavoided all general flirtation whatever; I have distinguished no creaturebesides, of all the numbers resorting hither, except Sir James Martin, onwhom I bestowed a little notice, in order to detach him from MissMainwaring; but, if the world could know my motive there they would honourme. I have been called an unkind mother, but it was the sacred impulse ofmaternal affection, it was the advantage of my daughter that led me on; andif that daughter were not the greatest simpleton on earth, I might havebeen rewarded for my exertions as I ought.Sir James did make proposals to me for Frederica; but Frederica, who wasborn to be the torment of my life, chose to set herself so violentlyagainst the match that I thought it better to lay aside the scheme for thepresent. I have more than once repented that I did not marry him myself;and were he but one degree less contemptibly weak I certainly should: but Imust own myself rather romantic in that respect, and that riches only willnot satisfy me. The event of all this is very provoking: Sir James is gone,Maria highly incensed, and Mrs. Mainwaring insupportably jealous; sojealous, in short, and so enraged against me, that, in the fury of hertemper, I should not be surprized at her appealing to her guardian, if shehad the liberty of addressing him: but there your husband stands my friend;and the kindest, most amiable action of his life was his throwing her offfor ever on her marriage. Keep up his resentment, therefore, I charge you.We are now in a sad state; no house was ever more altered; the whole partyare at war, and Mainwaring scarcely dares speak to me. It is time for me tobe gone; I have therefore determined on leaving them, and shall spend, Ihope, a comfortable day with you in town within this week. If I am aslittle in favour with Mr. Johnson as ever, you must come to me at 10Wigmore street; but I hope this may not be the case, for as Mr. Johnson,with all his faults, is a man to whom that great word "respectable" isalways given, and I am known to be so intimate with his wife, his slightingme has an awkward look.I take London in my way to that insupportable spot, a country village;for I am really going to Churchhill. Forgive me, my dear friend, it is mylast resource. Were there another place in England open to me I wouldprefer it. Charles Vernon is my aversion; and I am afraid of his wife. AtChurchhill, however, I must remain till I have something better in view. Myyoung lady accompanies me to town, where I shall deposit her under the careof Miss Summers, in Wigmore street, till she becomes a little morereasonable. She will made good connections there, as the girls are allof the best families. The price is immense, and much beyond what I can everattempt to pay.Adieu, I will send you a line as soon as I arrive in town.Yours ever,S. VERNON.