XXXIX. Lady Susan to Mrs. Johnson

by Jane Austen

　　Upper Seymour Street.My dear Alicia,--I yield to the necessity which parts us. Undercircumstances you could not act otherwise. Our friendship cannot beimpaired by it, and in happier times, when your situation is as independentas mine, it will unite us again in the same intimacy as ever. For this Ishall impatiently wait, and meanwhile can safely assure you that I neverwas more at ease, or better satisfied with myself and everything about methan at the present hour. Your husband I abhor, Reginald I despise, and Iam secure of never seeing either again. Have I not reason to rejoice?Mainwaring is more devoted to me than ever; and were we at liberty, I doubtif I could resist even matrimony offered by him. This event, if his wifelive with you, it may be in your power to hasten. The violence of herfeelings, which must wear her out, may be easily kept in irritation. I relyon your friendship for this. I am now satisfied that I never could havebrought myself to marry Reginald, and am equally determined that Fredericanever shall. To-morrow, I shall fetch her from Churchhill, and let MariaMainwaring tremble for the consequence. Frederica shall be Sir James's wifebefore she quits my house, and she may whimper, and the Vernons may storm,I regard them not. I am tired of submitting my will to the caprices ofothers; of resigning my own judgment in deference to those to whom I owe noduty, and for whom I feel no respect. I have given up too much, have beentoo easily worked on, but Frederica shall now feel the difference. Adieu,dearest of friends ; may the next gouty attack be more favourable! and mayyou always regard me as unalterably yours,S. VERNON