XXXV. Lady Susan to Mr. De Courcy

by Jane Austen

　　Upper Seymour Street.I will not attempt to describe my astonishment in reading the note thismoment received from you. I am bewildered in my endeavours to form somerational conjecture of what Mrs. Mainwaring can have told you to occasionso extraordinary a change in your sentiments. Have I not explainedeverything to you with respect to myself which could bear a doubtfulmeaning, and which the ill-nature of the world had interpreted to mydiscredit? What can you now have heard to stagger your esteem for me? HaveI ever had a concealment from you? Reginald, you agitate me beyondexpression, I cannot suppose that the old story of Mrs. Mainwaring'sjealousy can be revived again, or at least be listened to again. Come to meimmediately, and explain what is at present absolutely incomprehensible.Believe me the single word of Langford is not of such potent intelligenceas to supersede the necessity of more. If we are to part, it will at leastbe handsome to take your personal leave--but I have little heart to jest;in truth, I am serious enough; for to be sunk, though but for an hour, inyour esteem Is a humiliation to which I know not how to submit. I shallcount every minute till your arrival.S. V.