Q

by Ambrose Bierce

　　QUEEN,n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and throughwhom it is ruled when there is not.QUILL, n. An implement of torture yielded by a goose and commonlywielded by an ass. This use of the quill is now obsolete, but its modernequivalent, the steel pen, is wielded by the same everlasting Presence.

　　QUIVER, n. A portable sheath in which the ancient statesman andthe aboriginal lawyer carried their lighter arguments.

　　He extracted from his quiver,

　　Did the controversial Roman,

　　An argument well fitted

　　To the question as submitted,

　　Then addressed it to the liver,

　　Of the unpersuaded foeman.

　　Oglum P. Boomp

　　QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insightinto the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappilydenied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's nameis pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

　　When ignorance from out of our lives can banish

　　Philology, 'tis folly to know Spanish.

　　Juan Smith

　　QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative bodyto have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United StatesSenate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance anda messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, ofthe Speaker and the devil.

　　QUOTATION, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.The words erroneously repeated.

　　Intent on making his quotation truer,

　　He sought the page infallible of Brewer,

　　Then made a solemn vow that we would be

　　Condemned eternally. Ah, me, ah, me!

　　Stumpo Gaker

　　QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belongingto one person is contained in the pocket of another -- usually about asmany times as it can be got there.