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by Ambrose Bierce

　　RABBLE,n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulentelections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable -- omnipotenton condition that it do nothing. (The word is Aristocratese, and has noexact equivalent in our tongue, but means, as nearly as may be, "soaringswine.")RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuadingdevotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to theunconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now heldin light popular esteem.

　　RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth.

　　He held at court a rank so high

　　That other noblemen asked why.

　　"Because," 'twas answered, "others lack

　　His skill to scratch the royal back."

　　Aramis Jukes

　　RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller,nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.

　　RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.

　　RAREBIT, n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, whopoint out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explainedthat the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, andthat riz-de-veau a la financiere is not the smile of a calf preparedafter the recipe of a she banker.

　　RASCAL, n. A fool considered under another aspect.

　　RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

　　RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

　　"Now lay your bet with mine, nor let

　　These gamblers take your cash."

　　"Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!

　　How can you be so rash?"

　　Bootle P. Gish

　　RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation,experience and reflection.

　　RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.

　　RAZOR, n. An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty,by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself, and by the Afro-American toaffirm his worth.

　　REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area withinwhich it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensityto provide.

　　This is a truth, as old as the hills,

　　That life and experience teach:

　　The poor man suffers that keenest of ills,

　　An impediment of his reach.

　　G.J.

　　READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our countryit consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect"and humor in slang.

　　We know by one's reading

　　His learning and breeding;

　　By what draws his laughter

　　We know his Hereafter.

　　Read nothing, laugh never --

　　The Sphinx was less clever!

　　Jupiter Muke

　　RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into theaffairs of to-day.

　　RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organthat a scientist is a fool with.

　　RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling usto get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For thispurpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for itpermits him to make the transit with great expedition.

　　RAMSHACKLE, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture,otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings ofthe United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlierarchitects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House inWashington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. Theyare exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick.

　　REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads.The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story writtenby a measuring-worm.

　　REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remainin the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

　　REALLY, adv. Apparently.

　　REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of thearmy that is nearest to Congress.

　　REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

　　REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.

　　REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions.Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.

　　REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establishit.

　　RECOLLECT, v. To recall with additions something not previouslyknown.

　　RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed trucefor the purpose of digging up the dead.

　　RECONSIDER, v. To seek a justification for a decision alreadymade.

　　RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accordedto the player against whom they are loaded.

　　RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a generalfatigue.

　　RECRUIT, n. A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniformand from a soldier by his gait.

　　Fresh from the farm or factory or street,

　　His marching, in pursuit or in retreat,

　　Were an impressive martial spectacle

　　Except for two impediments -- his feet.

　　Thompson Johnson

　　RECTOR, n. In the Church of England, the Third Person of the parochialTrinity, the Cruate and the Vicar being the other two.

　　REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of theirsin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrineof Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whosobelieveth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which totry to understand it.

　　We must awake Man's spirit from his sin,

　　And take some special measure for redeeming it;

　　Though hard indeed the task to get it in

　　Among the angels any way but teaming it,

　　Or purify it otherwise than steaming it.

　　I'm awkward at Redemption -- a beginner:

　　My method is to crucify the sinner.

　　Golgo Brone

　　REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction. Among the Anglo-Saxona subject conceiving himself wronged by the king was permitted, on provinghis injury, to beat a brazen image of the royal offender with a switchthat was afterward applied to his own naked back. The latter rite wasperformed by the public hangman, and it assured moderation in the plaintiff'schoice of a switch.

　　RED-SKIN, n. A North American Indian, whose skin is not red --at least not on the outside.

　　REDUNDANT, adj. Superfluous; needless; de trop.

　　The Sultan said: "There's evidence abundant

　　To prove this unbelieving dog redundant."

　　To whom the Grand Vizier, with mien impressive,

　　Replied: "His head, at least, appears excessive."

　　Habeeb Suleiman

　　Mr. Debs is a redundant citizen.

　　Theodore Roosevelt

　　REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation toa popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.

　　REFLECTION, n. An action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearerview of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoidthe perils that we shall not again encounter.

　　REFORM, v. A thing that mostly satisfies reformers opposed toreformation.

　　REFUGE, n. Anything assuring protection to one in peril. Mosesand Joshua provided six cities of refuge -- Bezer, Golan, Ramoth, Kadesh,Schekem and Hebron -- to which one who had taken life inadvertently couldflee when hunted by relatives of the deceased. This admirable expedientsupplied him with wholesome exercise and enabled them to enjoy the pleasuresof the chase; whereby the soul of the dead man was appropriately honoredby observations akin to the funeral games of early Greece.

　　REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; as an elderly maiden'shand in marriage, to a rich and handsome suitor; a valuable franchiseto a rich corporation, by an alderman; absolution to an impenitent king,by a priest, and so forth. Refusals are graded in a descending scale offinality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusaltentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuiststhe refusal assentive.

　　REGALIA, n. Distinguishing insignia, jewels and costume of suchancient and honorable orders as Knights of Adam; Visionaries of DetectableBosh; the Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes; the League of Holy Humbug;the Golden Phalanx of Phalangers; the Genteel Society of Expurgated Hoodlums;the Mystic Alliances of Georgeous Regalians; Knights and Ladies of theYellow Dog; the Oriental Order of Sons of the West; the Blatherhood ofInsufferable Stuff; Warriors of the Long Bow; Guardians of the Great HornSpoon; the Band of Brutes; the Impenitent Order of Wife-Beaters; the SublimeLegion of Flamboyant Conspicuants; Worshipers at the Electroplated Shrine;Shining Inaccessibles; Fee-Faw-Fummers of the inimitable Grip; Jannissariesof the Broad-Blown Peacock; Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple;the Grand Cabal of Able-Bodied Sedentarians; Associated Deities of theButter Trade; the Garden of Galoots; the Affectionate Fraternity of MenSimilarly Warted; the Flashing Astonishers; Ladies of Horror; CooperativeAssociation for Breaking into the Spotlight; Dukes of Eden; DisciplesMilitant of the Hidden Faith; Knights-Champions of the Domestic Dog; theHoly Gregarians; the Resolute Optimists; the Ancient Sodality of InhospitableHogs; Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity; Dukes-Guardian of the MysticCess-Pool; the Society for Prevention of Prevalence; Kings of Drink; PoliteFederation of Gents-Consequential; the Mysterious Order of the UndecipherableScroll; Uniformed Rank of Lousy Cats; Monarchs of Worth and Hunger; Sonsof the South Star; Prelates of the Tub-and-Sword.

　　RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorancethe nature of the Unknowable. "What is your religion my son?"inquired the Archbishop of Rheims. "Pardon, monseigneur," repliedRochebriant; "I am ashamed of it." "Then why do you notbecome an atheist?" "Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism.""In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants."

　　RELIQUARY, n. A receptacle for such sacred objects as pieces ofthe true cross, short-ribs of the saints, the ears of Balaam's ass, thelung of the cock that called Peter to repentance and so forth. Reliquariesare commonly of metal, and provided with a lock to prevent the contentsfrom coming out and performing miracles at unseasonable times. A featherfrom the wing of the Angel of the Annunciation once escaped during a sermonin Saint Peter's and so tickled the noses of the congregation that theywoke and sneezed with great vehemence three times each. It is relatedin the "Gesta Sanctorum" that a sacristan in the Canterburycathedral surprised the head of Saint Dennis in the library. Reprimandedby its stern custodian, it explained that it was seeking a body of doctrine.This unseemly levity so raged the diocesan that the offender was publiclyanathematized, thrown into the Stour and replaced by another head of SaintDennis, brought from Rome.

　　RENOWN, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame-- a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerablethan the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsideratehand.

　　I touched the harp in every key,

　　But found no heeding ear;

　　And then Ithuriel touched me

　　With a revealing spear.

　　Not all my genius, great as 'tis,

　　Could urge me out of night.

　　I felt the faint appulse of his,

　　And leapt into the light!

　　W.J. Candleton

　　REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deductedfrom the satisfaction felt in committing it.

　　REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemenwith a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition tooffend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.

　　REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment.It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistentwith continuity of sin.

　　Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell,

　　You will repent and join the Church, Parnell?

　　How needless! -- Nick will keep you off the coals

　　And add you to the woes of other souls.

　　Jomater Abemy

　　REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist thatmade the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy,"which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skillthe replica is the more valuable, for it is supposed to be more beautifulthan it looks.

　　REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispelsit with a tempest of words.

　　"More dear than all my bosom knows, O thou

　　Whose 'lips are sealed' and will not disavow!"

　　So sang the blithe reporter-man as grew

　　Beneath his hand the leg-long "interview."

　　Barson Maith

　　REPOSE, v.i. To cease from troubling.

　　REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the LowerHouse in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in thenext.

　　REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatallydamned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy init was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that althoughsome are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

　　REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thinggoverned being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforcean optional obedience. In a republic, the foundation of public order isthe ever lessening habit of submission inherited from ancestors who, beingtruly governed, submitted because they had to. There are as many kindsof republics as there are graduations between the despotism whence theycame and the anarchy whither they lead.

　　REQUIEM, n. A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure usthe winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way ofproviding a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.

　　RESIDENT, adj. Unable to leave.

　　RESIGN, v.t. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renouncean advantage for a greater advantage.

　　'Twas rumored Leonard Wood had signed

　　A true renunciation

　　Of title, rank and every kind

　　Of military station --

　　Each honorable station.

　　By his example fired -- inclined

　　To noble emulation,

　　The country humbly was resigned

　　To Leonard's resignation --

　　His Christian resignation.

　　Politian Greame

　　RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

　　RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a liaison between abald head and a bank account.

　　RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth ofan inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in itspassage to the lungs.

　　RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin,to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have beendone by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeableexpectation.

　　Altgeld upon his incandescend bed

　　Lay, an attendant demon at his head.

　　"O cruel cook, pray grant me some relief --

　　Some respite from the roast, however brief."

　　"Remember how on earth I pardoned all

　　Your friends in Illinois when held in thrall."

　　"Unhappy soul! for that alone you squirm

　　O'er fire unquenched, a never-dying worm.

　　"Yet, for I pity your uneasy state,

　　Your doom I'll mollify and pains abate.

　　"Naught, for a season, shall your comfort mar,

　　Not even the memory of who you are."

　　Throughout eternal space dread silence fell;

　　Heaven trembled as Compassion entered Hell.

　　"As long, sweet demon, let my respite be

　　As, governing down here, I'd respite thee."

　　"As long, poor soul, as any of the pack

　　You thrust from jail consumed in getting back."

　　A genial chill affected Altgeld's hide

　　While they were turning him on t'other side.

　　Joel Spate Woop

　　RESPLENDENT, adj. Like a simple American citizen beduking himselfin his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things asan elemental unit of a parade.

　　The Knights of Dominion were so resplendent in their velvet-

　　and-gold that their masters would hardly have known them.

　　"Chronicles of the Classes"

　　RESPOND, v.i. To make answer, or disclose otherwise a consciousnessof having inspired an interest in what Herbert Spencer calls "externalcoexistences," as Satan "squat like a toad" at the earof Eve, responded to the touch of the angel's spear. To respond in damagesis to contribute to the maintenance of the plaintiff's attorney and, incidentally,to the gratification of the plaintiff.

　　RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shouldersof God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrologyit was customary to unload it upon a star.

　　Alas, things ain't what we should see

　　If Eve had let that apple be;

　　And many a feller which had ought

　　To set with monarchses of thought,

　　Or play some rosy little game

　　With battle-chaps on fields of fame,

　　Is downed by his unlucky star

　　And hollers: "Peanuts! -- here you are!"

　　"The Sturdy Beggar"

　　RESTITUTIONS, n. The founding or endowing of universities andpublic libraries by gift or bequest.

　　RESTITUTOR, n. Benefactor; philanthropist.

　　RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Templeof Law.

　　RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alikeupon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evictingthem. In the lines following, addressed to an Emperor in exile by FatherGassalasca Jape, the reverend poet appears to hint his sense of the improduenceof turning about to face Retribution when it is talking exercise:

　　What, what! Dom Pedro, you desire to go

　　Back to Brazil to end your days in quiet?

　　Why, what assurance have you 'twould be so?

　　'Tis not so long since you were in a riot,

　　And your dear subjects showed a will to fly at

　　Your throat and shake you like a rat. You know

　　That empires are ungrateful; are you certain

　　Republics are less handy to get hurt in?

　　REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefieldsno more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the Americanarmy it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciationour countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacreddishonor.

　　REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealedall that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who knownothing.

　　REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dogto a man.

　　REVIEW, v.t.

　　To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it,

　　Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)

　　At work upon a book, and so read out of it

　　The qualities that you have first read into it.

　　REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of anAdministration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happinessof the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usuallyaccompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worthit -- this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had notthe mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable valueto the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bonesits gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected offomenting law and order.

　　RHADOMANCER, n. One who uses a divining-rod in prospecting forprecious metals in the pocket of a fool.

　　RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

　　RIBROASTER, n. Censorious language by oneself concerning another.The word is of classical refinement, and is even said to have been usedin a fable by Georgius Coadjutor, one of the most fastidious writers ofthe fifteenth century -- commonly, indeed, regarded as the founder ofthe Fastidiotic School.

　　RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popularnovelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.It is said to be rich in both obtundite and lethargine, and is brewedin a midnight fog by a fat which of the Dismal Swamp.

　　RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the propertyof the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.That is the view that prevails in the underworld, where the Brotherhoodof Man finds its most logical development and candid advocacy. To denizensof the midworld the word means good and wise.

　　RICHES, n.

　　A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in

　　whom I am well pleased."

　　John D. Rockefeller

　　The reward of toil and virtue.

　　J.P. Morgan

　　The sayings of many in the hands of one.

　　Eugene Debs

　　To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels thathe can add nothing of value.

　　RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom theyare uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him whoutters them. It may be graphic, mimetic or merely rident. Shaftesburyis quoted as having pronounced it the test of truth -- a ridiculous assertion,for many a solemn fallacy has undergone centuries of ridicule with noabatement of its popular acceptance. What, for example, has been morevalorously derided than the doctrine of Infant Respectability?

　　RIGHT, n. Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have; as theright to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to havemeasles, and the like. The first of these rights was once universallybelieved to be derived directly from the will of God; and this is stillsometimes affirmed in partibus infidelium outside the enlightenedrealms of Democracy; as the well known lines of Sir Abednego Bink, following:

　　By what right, then, do royal rulers rule?

　　Whose is the sanction of their state and pow'r?

　　He surely were as stubborn as a mule

　　Who, God unwilling, could maintain an hour

　　His uninvited session on the throne, or air

　　His pride securely in the Presidential chair.

　　Whatever is is so by Right Divine;

　　Whate'er occurs, God wills it so. Good land!

　　It were a wondrous thing if His design

　　A fool could baffle or a rogue withstand!

　　If so, then God, I say (intending no offence)

　　Is guilty of contributory negligence.

　　RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among thePantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Somefeeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it intoseveral European countries, but it appears to have been imperfectly expounded.An example of this faulty exposition is found in the only extant sermonof the pious Bishop Rowley, a characteristic passage from which is heregiven:

　　"Now righteousness consisteth not merely in a holy state of mind,nor yet in performance of religious rites and obedience to the letterof the law. It is not enough that one be pious and just: one must seeto it that others also are in the same state; and to this end compulsionis a proper means. Forasmuch as my injustice may work ill to another,so by his injustice may evil be wrought upon still another, the whichit is as manifestly my duty to estop as to forestall mine own tort. Whereforeif I would be

　　righteous I am bound to restrain my neighbor, by force if needful, inall those injurious enterprises from which, through a better dispositionand by the help of Heaven, I do myself restrain."

　　RIME, n. Agreeing sounds in the terminals of verse, mostly bad.The verses themselves, as distinguished from prose, mostly dull. Usually(and wickedly) spelled "rhyme."

　　RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.

　　The rimer quenches his unheeded fires,

　　The sound surceases and the sense expires.

　　Then the domestic dog, to east and west,

　　Expounds the passions burning in his breast.

　　The rising moon o'er that enchanted land

　　Pauses to hear and yearns to understand.

　　Mowbray Myles

　　RIOT, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocentbystanders.

　　R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of requiescat in pace, attestingto indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge,however, the letters originally meant nothing more than reductus inpulvis.

　　RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law,precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezedout of it.

　　RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinearfreedom, keeping off the grass.

　　ROAD, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where itis too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

　　All roads, howsoe'er they diverge, lead to Rome,

　　Whence, thank the good Lord, at least one leads back home.

　　Borey the Bald

　　ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltairethat one night he and some traveling companion lodged at a wayside inn.The surroundings were suggestive, and after supper they agreed to tellrobber stories in turn. "Once there was a Farmer-General of the Revenues."Saying nothing more, he was encouraged to continue. "That,"he said, "is the story."

　　ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Thingsas They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability,as a domestic horse to the hitching-post, but in romance it ranges atwill over the entire region of the imagination -- free, lawless, immuneto bit and rein. Your novelist is a poor creature, as Carlyle might say-- a mere reporter. He may invent his characters and plot, but he mustnot imagine anything taking place that might not occur, albeit his entirenarrative is candidly a lie. Why he imposes this hard condition on himself,and "drags at each remove a lengthening chain" of his own forginghe can explain in ten thick volumes without illuminating by so much asa candle's ray the black profound of his own ignorance of the matter.There are great novels, for great writers have "laid waste theirpowers" to write them, but it remains true that far and away themost fascinating fiction that we have is "The Thousand and One Nights."

　　ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins thatthey too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one'swhole life long. It has been largely superseded by a more complex electricaldevice worn upon another part of the person; and this is rapidly givingplace to an apparatus known as the preachment.

　　ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship.In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expoundsthe wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

　　ROUNDHEAD, n. A member of the Parliamentarian party in the Englishcivil war -- so called from his habit of wearing his hair short, whereashis enemy, the Cavalier, wore his long. There were other points of differencebetween them, but the fashion in hair was the fundamental cause of quarrel.The Cavaliers were royalists because the king, an indolent fellow, foundit more convenient to let his hair grow than to wash his neck. This theRoundheads, who were mostly barbers and soap-boilers, deemed an injuryto trade, and the royal neck was therefore the object of their particularindignation. Descendants of the belligerents now wear their hair all alike,but the fires of animosity enkindled in that ancient strife smoulder tothis day beneath the snows of British civility.

　　RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies,literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lyingdue south from Boreaplas.

　　RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's beliefin the virtue of maids.

　　RUM, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in totalabstainers.

　　RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

　　Sharp, irresistible by mail or shield,

　　By guard unparried as by flight unstayed,

　　O serviceable Rumor, let me wield

　　Against my enemy no other blade.

　　His be the terror of a foe unseen,

　　His the inutile hand upon the hilt,

　　And mine the deadly tongue, long, slender, keen,

　　Hinting a rumor of some ancient guilt.

　　So shall I slay the wretch without a blow,

　　Spare me to celebrate his overthrow,

　　And nurse my valor for another foe.

　　Joel Buxter

　　RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul.A Tartar Emetic.