Chapter X

by Jane Austen

　　A quarter of an hour, twenty minutes, passed away,and Fanny was still thinking of Edmund, Miss Crawford,and herself, without interruption from any one. She beganto be surprised at being left so long, and to listenwith an anxious desire of hearing their steps and theirvoices again. She listened, and at length she heard;she heard voices and feet approaching; but she had justsatisfied herself that it was not those she wanted,when Miss Bertram, Mr. Rushworth, and Mr. Crawford issuedfrom the same path which she had trod herself, and werebefore her."Miss Price all alone" and "My dear Fanny, how comes this?"were the first salutations. She told her story."Poor dear Fanny," cried her cousin, "how ill you have beenused by them! You had better have staid with us."Then seating herself with a gentleman on each side,she resumed the conversation which had engaged them before,and discussed the possibility of improvements withmuch animation. Nothing was fixed on; but Henry Crawfordwas full of ideas and projects, and, generally speaking,whatever he proposed was immediately approved, first by her,and then by Mr. Rushworth, whose principal businessseemed to be to hear the others, and who scarcely riskedan original thought of his own beyond a wish that theyhad seen his friend Smith's place.After some minutes spent in this way, Miss Bertram,observing the iron gate, expressed a wish of passingthrough it into the park, that their views and theirplans might be more comprehensive. It was the very thingof all others to be wished, it was the best, it wasthe only way of proceeding with any advantage, in HenryCrawford's opinion; and he directly saw a knoll not halfa mile off, which would give them exactly the requisitecommand of the house. Go therefore they must to that knoll,and through that gate; but the gate was locked.Mr. Rushworth wished he had brought the key; he had beenvery near thinking whether he should not bring the key;he was determined he would never come without the key again;but still this did not remove the present evil. They couldnot get through; and as Miss Bertram's inclination for sodoing did by no means lessen, it ended in Mr. Rushworth'sdeclaring outright that he would go and fetch the key.He set off accordingly."It is undoubtedly the best thing we can do now, as weare so far from the house already," said Mr. Crawford,when he was gone."Yes, there is nothing else to be done. But now, sincerely,do not you find the place altogether worse than you expected?""No, indeed, far otherwise. I find it better, grander, morecomplete in its style, though that style may not be the best.And to tell you the truth," speaking rather lower, "I do notthink that _I_ shall ever see Sotherton again with so muchpleasure as I do now. Another summer will hardly improve it tome."After a moment's embarrassment the lady replied, "You aretoo much a man of the world not to see with the eyesof the world. If other people think Sotherton improved,I have no doubt that you will.""I am afraid I am not quite so much the man of the worldas might be good for me in some points. My feelingsare not quite so evanescent, nor my memory of the pastunder such easy dominion as one finds to be the casewith men of the world."This was followed by a short silence. Miss Bertrambegan again. "You seemed to enjoy your drive here very muchthis morning. I was glad to see you so well entertained.You and Julia were laughing the whole way.""Were we? Yes, I believe we were; but I have notthe least recollection at what. Oh! I believeI was relating to her some ridiculous storiesof an old Irish groom of my uncle's. Your sister loves to laugh.""You think her more light-hearted than I am?""More easily amused," he replied; "consequently, you know,"smiling, "better company. I could not have hopedto entertain you with Irish anecdotes during a ten miles' drive.""Naturally, I believe, I am as lively as Julia, but Ihave more to think of now.""You have, undoubtedly; and there are situations inwhich very high spirits would denote insensibility.Your prospects, however, are too fair to justify wantof spirits. You have a very smiling scene before you.""Do you mean literally or figuratively? Literally,I conclude. Yes, certainly, the sun shines, and the parklooks very cheerful. But unluckily that iron gate,that ha-ha, give me a feeling of restraint and hardship."I cannot get out, as the starling said." As she spoke,and it was with expression, she walked to the gate:he followed her. "Mr. Rushworth is so long fetchingthis key!""And for the world you would not get out without the keyand without Mr. Rushworth's authority and protection,or I think you might with little difficulty pass roundthe edge of the gate, here, with my assistance; I think itmight be done, if you really wished to be more at large,and could allow yourself to think it not prohibited.""Prohibited! nonsense! I certainly can get out that way,and I will. Mr. Rushworth will be here in a moment,you know; we shall not be out of sight.""Or if we are, Miss Price will be so good as to tell himthat he will find us near that knoll: the grove of oakon the knoll."Fanny, feeling all this to be wrong, could not helpmaking an effort to prevent it. "You will hurt yourself,Miss Bertram," she cried; "you will certainly hurtyourself against those spikes; you will tear your gown;you will be in danger of slipping into the ha-ha. You hadbetter not go."Her cousin was safe on the other side while these wordswere spoken, and, smiling with all the good-humourof success, she said, "Thank you, my dear Fanny,but I and my gown are alive and well, and so good-bye."Fanny was again left to her solitude, and with no increaseof pleasant feelings, for she was sorry for almost allthat she had seen and heard, astonished at Miss Bertram,and angry with Mr. Crawford. By taking a circuitousroute, and, as it appeared to her, very unreasonabledirection to the knoll, they were soon beyond her eye;and for some minutes longer she remained without sightor sound of any companion. She seemed to have the littlewood all to herself. She could almost have thoughtthat Edmund and Miss Crawford had left it, but thatit was impossible for Edmund to forget her so entirely.She was again roused from disagreeable musings by sudden footsteps:somebody was coming at a quick pace down the principal walk.She expected Mr. Rushworth, but it was Julia, who,hot and out of breath, and with a look of disappointment,cried out on seeing her, "Heyday! Where are the others?I thought Maria and Mr. Crawford were with you."Fanny explained."A pretty trick, upon my word! I cannot see them anywhere,"looking eagerly into the park. "But they cannot be veryfar off, and I think I am equal to as much as Maria,even without help.""But, Julia, Mr. Rushworth will be here in a momentwith the key. Do wait for Mr. Rushworth.""Not I, indeed. I have had enough of the family forone morning. Why, child, I have but this moment escaped fromhis horrible mother. Such a penance as I have been enduring,while you were sitting here so composed and so happy!It might have been as well, perhaps, if you had been inmy place, but you always contrive to keep out of these scrapes."This was a most unjust reflection, but Fanny could allowfor it, and let it pass: Julia was vexed, and hertemper was hasty; but she felt that it would not last,and therefore, taking no notice, only asked her if shehad not seen Mr. Rushworth."Yes, yes, we saw him. He was posting away as if uponlife and death, and could but just spare time to tell ushis errand, and where you all were.""It is a pity he should have so much trouble for nothing.""_That_ is Miss Maria's concern. I am not obligedto punish myself for _her_ sins. The mother I couldnot avoid, as long as my tiresome aunt was dancing aboutwith the housekeeper, but the son I _can_ get away from."And she immediately scrambled across the fence,and walked away, not attending to Fanny's last question ofwhether she had seen anything of Miss Crawford and Edmund.The sort of dread in which Fanny now sat of seeingMr. Rushworth prevented her thinking so much of theircontinued absence, however, as she might have done.She felt that he had been very ill-used, and was quiteunhappy in having to communicate what had passed.He joined her within five minutes after Julia's exit;and though she made the best of the story, he was evidentlymortified and displeased in no common degree. At firsthe scarcely said anything; his looks only expressed hisextreme surprise and vexation, and he walked to the gateand stood there, without seeming to know what to do."They desired me to stay--my cousin Maria charged me to saythat you would find them at that knoll, or thereabouts.""I do not believe I shall go any farther," said he sullenly;"I see nothing of them. By the time I get to the knoll theymay be gone somewhere else. I have had walking enough."And he sat down with a most gloomy countenance by Fanny."I am very sorry," said she; "it is very unlucky." And shelonged to be able to say something more to the purpose.After an interval of silence, "I think they might as wellhave staid for me," said he."Miss Bertram thought you would follow her.""I should not have had to follow her if she had staid."This could not be denied, and Fanny was silenced.After another pause, he went on--"Pray, Miss Price,are you such a great admirer of this Mr. Crawford as somepeople are? For my part, I can see nothing in him.""I do not think him at all handsome.""Handsome! Nobody can call such an undersized man handsome.He is not five foot nine. I should not wonder if he is not morethan five foot eight. I think he is an ill-looking fellow.In my opinion, these Crawfords are no addition at all.We did very well without them."A small sigh escaped Fanny here, and she did not knowhow to contradict him."If I had made any difficulty about fetching the key,there might have been some excuse, but I went the verymoment she said she wanted it.""Nothing could be more obliging than your manner, I am sure,and I dare say you walked as fast as you could; but stillit is some distance, you know, from this spot to the house,quite into the house; and when people are waiting,they are bad judges of time, and every half minute seemslike five."He got up and walked to the gate again, and "wished hehad had the key about him at the time." Fanny thought shediscerned in his standing there an indication of relenting,which encouraged her to another attempt, and she said,therefore, "It is a pity you should not join them.They expected to have a better view of the house fromthat part of the park, and will be thinking how itmay be improved; and nothing of that sort, you know,can be settled without you."She found herself more successful in sending away thanin retaining a companion. Mr. Rushworth was worked on."Well," said he, "if you really think I had better go:it would be foolish to bring the key for nothing."And letting himself out, he walked off without fartherceremony.Fanny's thoughts were now all engrossed by the two whohad left her so long ago, and getting quite impatient,she resolved to go in search of them. She followedtheir steps along the bottom walk, and had just turnedup into another, when the voice and the laugh of MissCrawford once more caught her ear; the sound approached,and a few more windings brought them before her.They were just returned into the wilderness from the park,to which a sidegate, not fastened, had tempted them verysoon after their leaving her, and they had been acrossa portion of the park into the very avenue which Fannyhad been hoping the whole morning to reach at last,and had been sitting down under one of the trees.This was their history. It was evident that they had beenspending their time pleasantly, and were not aware of thelength of their absence. Fanny's best consolation wasin being assured that Edmund had wished for her very much,and that he should certainly have come back for her,had she not been tired already; but this was not quitesufficient to do away with the pain of having been lefta whole hour, when he had talked of only a few minutes,nor to banish the sort of curiosity she felt to knowwhat they had been conversing about all that time;and the result of the whole was to her disappointmentand depression, as they prepared by general agreement toreturn to the house.On reaching the bottom of the steps to the terrace,Mrs. Rushworth and Mrs. Norris presented themselvesat the top, just ready for the wilderness, at the endof an hour and a half from their leaving the house.Mrs. Norris had been too well employed to move faster.Whatever cross-accidents had occurred to intercept the pleasuresof her nieces, she had found a morning of complete enjoyment;for the housekeeper, after a great many courtesies onthe subject of pheasants, had taken her to the dairy,told her all about their cows, and given her the receiptfor a famous cream cheese; and since Julia's leaving themthey had been met by the gardener, with whom she had madea most satisfactory acquaintance, for she had set himright as to his grandson's illness, convinced him that itwas an ague, and promised him a charm for it; and he,in return, had shewn her all his choicest nursery of plants,and actually presented her with a very curious specimenof heath.On this _ rencontre_ they all returned to the house together,there to lounge away the time as they could with sofas,and chit-chat, and Quarterly Reviews, till the returnof the others, and the arrival of dinner. It was latebefore the Miss Bertrams and the two gentlemen came in,and their ramble did not appear to have been more thanpartially agreeable, or at all productive of anythinguseful with regard to the object of the day. By theirown accounts they had been all walking after each other,and the junction which had taken place at last seemed,to Fanny's observation, to have been as much too latefor re-establishing harmony, as it confessedly hadbeen for determining on any alteration. She felt,as she looked at Julia and Mr. Rushworth, that herswas not the only dissatisfied bosom amongst them:there was gloom on the face of each. Mr. Crawfordand Miss Bertram were much more gay, and she thoughtthat he was taking particular pains, during dinner,to do away any little resentment of the other two,and restore general good-humour.Dinner was soon followed by tea and coffee, a ten miles'drive home allowed no waste of hours; and from the timeof their sitting down to table, it was a quick successionof busy nothings till the carriage came to the door,and Mrs. Norris, having fidgeted about, and obtained afew pheasants' eggs and a cream cheese from the housekeeper,and made abundance of civil speeches to Mrs. Rushworth,was ready to lead the way. At the same moment Mr. Crawford,approaching Julia, said, "I hope I am not to losemy companion, unless she is afraid of the evening airin so exposed a seat." The request had not been foreseen,but was very graciously received, and Julia's day waslikely to end almost as well as it began. Miss Bertramhad made up her mind to something different, and was alittle disappointed; but her conviction of being reallythe one preferred comforted her under it, and enabled herto receive Mr. Rushworth's parting attentions as she ought.He was certainly better pleased to hand her intothe barouche than to assist her in ascending the box,and his complacency seemed confirmed by the arrangement."Well, Fanny, this has been a fine day for you, upon my word,"said Mrs. Norris, as they drove through the park."Nothing but pleasure from beginning to end! I am sureyou ought to be very much obliged to your aunt Bertramand me for contriving to let you go. A pretty good day'samusement you have had!"Maria was just discontented enough to say directly, "I think_you_ have done pretty well yourself, ma'am. Your lap seemsfull of good things, and here is a basket of somethingbetween us which has been knocking my elbow unmercifully.""My dear, it is only a beautiful little heath,which that nice old gardener would make me take; but ifit is in your way, I will have it in my lap directly.There, Fanny, you shall carry that parcel for me;take great care of it: do not let it fall; it is acream cheese, just like the excellent one we had at dinner.Nothing would satisfy that good old Mrs. Whitaker,but my taking one of the cheeses. I stood out as longas I could, till the tears almost came into her eyes,and I knew it was just the sort that my sister wouldbe delighted with. That Mrs. Whitaker is a treasure!She was quite shocked when I asked her whether wine was allowedat the second table, and she has turned away two housemaidsfor wearing white gowns. Take care of the cheese, Fanny.Now I can manage the other parcel and the basket very well.""What else have you been spunging?" said Maria,half-pleased that Sotherton should be so complimented."Spunging, my dear! It is nothing but four of thosebeautiful pheasants' eggs, which Mrs. Whitaker wouldquite force upon me: she would not take a denial.She said it must be such an amusement to me, as sheunderstood I lived quite alone, to have a few livingcreatures of that sort; and so to be sure it will.I shall get the dairymaid to set them under the firstspare hen, and if they come to good I can have them movedto my own house and borrow a coop; and it will be a greatdelight to me in my lonely hours to attend to them.And if I have good luck, your mother shall have some."It was a beautiful evening, mild and still, and thedrive was as pleasant as the serenity of Naturecould make it; but when Mrs. Norris ceased speaking,it was altogether a silent drive to those within.Their spirits were in general exhausted; and to determinewhether the day had afforded most pleasure or pain,might occupy the meditations of almost all.