Chapter XIV

by Jane Austen

　　Fanny seemed nearer being right than Edmund had supposed.The business of finding a play that would suit everybodyproved to be no trifle; and the carpenter had receivedhis orders and taken his measurements, had suggestedand removed at least two sets of difficulties, and havingmade the necessity of an enlargement of plan and expensefully evident, was already at work, while a play wasstill to seek. Other preparations were also in hand.An enormous roll of green baize had arrived from Northampton,and been cut out by Mrs. Norris (with a saving by hergood management of full three-quarters of a yard), andwas actually forming into a curtain by the housemaids,and still the play was wanting; and as two or three dayspassed away in this manner, Edmund began almost to hopethat none might ever be found.There were, in fact, so many things to be attended to,so many people to be pleased, so many best charactersrequired, and, above all, such a need that the playshould be at once both tragedy and comedy, that theredid seem as little chance of a decision as anythingpursued by youth and zeal could hold out.On the tragic side were the Miss Bertrams, Henry Crawford,and Mr. Yates; on the comic, Tom Bertram, not _quite_ alone,because it was evident that Mary Crawford's wishes,though politely kept back, inclined the same way: but hisdeterminateness and his power seemed to make allies unnecessary;and, independent of this great irreconcilable difference,they wanted a piece containing very few charactersin the whole, but every character first-rate, and threeprincipal women. All the best plays were run over in vain.Neither Hamlet, nor Macbeth, nor Othello, nor Douglas,nor The Gamester, presented anything that could satisfyeven the tragedians; and The Rivals, The School for Scandal,Wheel of Fortune, Heir at Law, and a long et cetera,were successively dismissed with yet warmer objections.No piece could be proposed that did not supply somebodywith a difficulty, and on one side or the other it wasa continual repetition of, "Oh no, _that_ will never do!Let us have no ranting tragedies. Too many characters.Not a tolerable woman's part in the play. Anything but _that_,my dear Tom. It would be impossible to fill it up.One could not expect anybody to take such a part.Nothing but buffoonery from beginning to end._That_ might do, perhaps, but for the low parts. If I_must_ give my opinion, I have always thought it the mostinsipid play in the English language. _I_ do not wishto make objections; I shall be happy to be of any use, but Ithink we could not chuse worse."Fanny looked on and listened, not unamused to observethe selfishness which, more or less disguised, seemed togovern them all, and wondering how it would end. For herown gratification she could have wished that somethingmight be acted, for she had never seen even half a play,but everything of higher consequence was against it."This will never do," said Tom Bertram at last. "We arewasting time most abominably. Something must be fixed on.No matter what, so that something is chosen. We must not beso nice. A few characters too many must not frighten us.We must _double_ them. We must descend a little.If a part is insignificant, the greater our credit in makinganything of it. From this moment I make no difficulties.I take any part you chuse to give me, so as it be comic.Let it but be comic, I condition for nothing more."For about the fifth time he then proposed the Heir at Law,doubting only whether to prefer Lord Duberley or Dr. Panglossfor himself; and very earnestly, but very unsuccessfully,trying to persuade the others that there were some finetragic parts in the rest of the dramatis personae.The pause which followed this fruitless effortwas ended by the same speaker, who, taking up oneof the many volumes of plays that lay on the table,and turning it over, suddenly exclaimed--"Lovers' Vows!And why should not Lovers' Vows do for _us_ as wellas for the Ravenshaws? How came it never to be thoughtof before? It strikes me as if it would do exactly.What say you all? Here are two capital tragic parts forYates and Crawford, and here is the rhyming Butler for me,if nobody else wants it; a trifling part, but the sortof thing I should not dislike, and, as I said before,I am determined to take anything and do my best.And as for the rest, they may be filled up by anybody.It is only Count Cassel and Anhalt."The suggestion was generally welcome. Everybody was growingweary of indecision, and the first idea with everybody was,that nothing had been proposed before so likely to suitthem all. Mr. Yates was particularly pleased: he hadbeen sighing and longing to do the Baron at Ecclesford,had grudged every rant of Lord Ravenshaw's, and been forcedto re-rant it all in his own room. The storm through BaronWildenheim was the height of his theatrical ambition;and with the advantage of knowing half the scenes byheart already, he did now, with the greatest alacrity,offer his services for the part. To do him justice,however, he did not resolve to appropriate it;for remembering that there was some very good ranting-groundin Frederick, he professed an equal willingness for that.Henry Crawford was ready to take either. Whichever Mr. Yatesdid not chuse would perfectly satisfy him, and a shortparley of compliment ensued. Miss Bertram, feeling allthe interest of an Agatha in the question, took on herto decide it, by observing to Mr. Yates that this was apoint in which height and figure ought to be considered,and that _his_ being the tallest, seemed to fit himpeculiarly for the Baron. She was acknowledged to bequite right, and the two parts being accepted accordingly,she was certain of the proper Frederick. Three of thecharacters were now cast, besides Mr. Rushworth, who wasalways answered for by Maria as willing to do anything;when Julia, meaning, like her sister, to be Agatha,began to be scrupulous on Miss Crawford's account."This is not behaving well by the absent," said she."Here are not women enough. Amelia and Agatha may dofor Maria and me, but here is nothing for your sister,Mr. Crawford."Mr. Crawford desired _that_ might not be thought of:he was very sure his sister had no wish of actingbut as she might be useful, and that she would notallow herself to be considered in the present case.But this was immediately opposed by Tom Bertram,who asserted the part of Amelia to be in every respectthe property of Miss Crawford, if she would accept it."It falls as naturally, as necessarily to her," said he,"as Agatha does to one or other of my sisters. It can be nosacrifice on their side, for it is highly comic."A short silence followed. Each sister looked anxious;for each felt the best claim to Agatha, and was hopingto have it pressed on her by the rest. Henry Crawford,who meanwhile had taken up the play, and with seemingcarelessness was turning over the first act, soon settledthe business."I must entreat Miss _Julia_ Bertram," said he, "not toengage in the part of Agatha, or it will be the ruinof all my solemnity. You must not, indeed you must not"(turning to her). "I could not stand your countenancedressed up in woe and paleness. The many laughs we havehad together would infallibly come across me, and Frederickand his knapsack would be obliged to run away."Pleasantly, courteously, it was spoken; but themanner was lost in the matter to Julia's feelings.She saw a glance at Maria which confirmed the injuryto herself: it was a scheme, a trick; she was slighted,Maria was preferred; the smile of triumph which Mariawas trying to suppress shewed how well it was understood;and before Julia could command herself enough to speak,her brother gave his weight against her too, by saying,"Oh yes! Maria must be Agatha. Maria will be thebest Agatha. Though Julia fancies she prefers tragedy,I would not trust her in it. There is nothing of tragedyabout her. She has not the look of it. Her featuresare not tragic features, and she walks too quick,and speaks too quick, and would not keep her countenance.She had better do the old countrywoman: the Cottager's wife;you had, indeed, Julia. Cottager's wife is a very pretty part,I assure you. The old lady relieves the high-flownbenevolence of her husband with a good deal of spirit.You shall be Cottager's wife.""Cottager's wife!" cried Mr. Yates. "What are youtalking of? The most trivial, paltry, insignificant part;the merest commonplace; not a tolerable speech in the whole.Your sister do that! It is an insult to propose it.At Ecclesford the governess was to have done it.We all agreed that it could not be offered to anybody else.A little more justice, Mr. Manager, if you please.You do not deserve the office, if you cannot appreciatethe talents of your company a little better.""Why, as to _that_, my good friend, till I and my companyhave really acted there must be some guesswork; but I meanno disparagement to Julia. We cannot have two Agathas,and we must have one Cottager's wife; and I am sure I sether the example of moderation myself in being satisfiedwith the old Butler. If the part is trifling she willhave more credit in making something of it; and if sheis so desperately bent against everything humorous,let her take Cottager's speeches instead of Cottager'swife's, and so change the parts all through; _he_ issolemn and pathetic enough, I am sure. It could makeno difference in the play, and as for Cottager himself,when he has got his wife's speeches, _I_ would undertakehim with all my heart.""With all your partiality for Cottager's wife,"said Henry Crawford, "it will be impossible to makeanything of it fit for your sister, and we must not sufferher good-nature to be imposed on. We must not _allow_her to accept the part. She must not be left to herown complaisance. Her talents will be wanted in Amelia.Amelia is a character more difficult to be well representedthan even Agatha. I consider Amelia is the most difficultcharacter in the whole piece. It requires great powers,great nicety, to give her playfulness and simplicitywithout extravagance. I have seen good actresses failin the part. Simplicity, indeed, is beyond the reachof almost every actress by profession. It requiresa delicacy of feeling which they have not. It requiresa gentlewoman--a Julia Bertram. You _will_ undertake it,I hope?" turning to her with a look of anxious entreaty,which softened her a little; but while she hesitatedwhat to say, her brother again interposed with MissCrawford's better claim."No, no, Julia must not be Amelia. It is not atall the part for her. She would not like it.She would not do well. She is too tall and robust.Amelia should be a small, light, girlish, skipping figure.It is fit for Miss Crawford, and Miss Crawford only.She looks the part, and I am persuaded will do it admirably."Without attending to this, Henry Crawford continuedhis supplication. "You must oblige us," said he,"indeed you must. When you have studied the character, I amsure you will feel it suit you. Tragedy may be your choice,but it will certainly appear that comedy chuses _you_.You will be to visit me in prison with a basket of provisions;you will not refuse to visit me in prison? I think Isee you coming in with your basket"The influence of his voice was felt. Julia wavered;but was he only trying to soothe and pacify her, and makeher overlook the previous affront? She distrusted him.The slight had been most determined. He was, perhaps,but at treacherous play with her. She looked suspiciouslyat her sister; Maria's countenance was to decide it:if she were vexed and alarmed--but Maria looked allserenity and satisfaction, and Julia well knew that onthis ground Maria could not be happy but at her expense.With hasty indignation, therefore, and a tremulous voice,she said to him, "You do not seem afraid of notkeeping your countenance when I come in with a basketof provisions--though one might have supposed--but itis only as Agatha that I was to be so overpowering!"She stopped--Henry Crawford looked rather foolish,and as if he did not know what to say. Tom Bertrambegan again--"Miss Crawford must be Amelia. She will be an excellent Amelia.""Do not be afraid of _my_ wanting the character,"cried Julia, with angry quickness: "I am _not_ to be Agatha,and I am sure I will do nothing else; and as to Amelia,it is of all parts in the world the most disgusting to me.I quite detest her. An odious, little, pert, unnatural,impudent girl. I have always protested against comedy,and this is comedy in its worst form." And so saying,she walked hastily out of the room, leaving awkward feelingsto more than one, but exciting small compassion in anyexcept Fanny, who had been a quiet auditor of the whole,and who could not think of her as under the agitations of_jealousy_ without great pity.A short silence succeeded her leaving them; but her brothersoon returned to business and Lovers' Vows, and waseagerly looking over the play, with Mr. Yates's help,to ascertain what scenery would be necessary--while Mariaand Henry Crawford conversed together in an under-voice,and the declaration with which she began of, "I amsure I would give up the part to Julia most willingly,but that though I shall probably do it very ill,I feel persuaded _she_ would do it worse," was doubtlessreceiving all the compliments it called for.When this had lasted some time, the division of the partywas completed by Tom Bertram and Mr. Yates walking offtogether to consult farther in the room now beginningto be called _the_ _Theatre_, and Miss Bertram's resolvingto go down to the Parsonage herself with the offerof Amelia to Miss Crawford; and Fanny remained alone.The first use she made of her solitude was to take upthe volume which had been left on the table, and beginto acquaint herself with the play of which she had heardso much. Her curiosity was all awake, and she ranthrough it with an eagerness which was suspended onlyby intervals of astonishment, that it could be chosenin the present instance, that it could be proposedand accepted in a private theatre! Agatha and Ameliaappeared to her in their different ways so totallyimproper for home representation--the situation of one,and the language of the other, so unfit to be expressedby any woman of modesty, that she could hardly supposeher cousins could be aware of what they were engaging in;and longed to have them roused as soon as possibleby the remonstrance which Edmund would certainly make.