Chapter 19

by Jane Austen

　　While Admiral Croft was taking this walk with Anne, and expressinghis wish of getting Captain Wentworth to Bath, Captain Wentworthwas already on his way thither. Before Mrs Croft had written,he was arrived, and the very next time Anne walked out, she saw him.

　　Mr Elliot was attending his two cousins and Mrs Clay. They werein Milsom Street. It began to rain, not much, but enough tomake shelter desirable for women, and quite enough to make itvery desirable for Miss Elliot to have the advantage of beingconveyed home in Lady Dalrymple's carriage, which was seen waitingat a little distance; she, Anne, and Mrs Clay, therefore,turned into Molland's, while Mr Elliot stepped to Lady Dalrymple,to request her assistance. He soon joined them again, successful,of course; Lady Dalrymple would be most happy to take them home,and would call for them in a few minutes.

　　Her ladyship's carriage was a barouche, and did not holdmore than four with any comfort. Miss Carteret was with her mother;consequently it was not reasonable to expect accommodationfor all the three Camden Place ladies. There could be no doubtas to Miss Elliot. Whoever suffered inconvenience, she must suffer none,but it occupied a little time to settle the point of civilitybetween the other two. The rain was a mere trifle, and Anne wasmost sincere in preferring a walk with Mr Elliot. But the rain was alsoa mere trifle to Mrs Clay; she would hardly allow it even to drop at all,and her boots were so thick! much thicker than Miss Anne's;and, in short, her civility rendered her quite as anxious to be leftto walk with Mr Elliot as Anne could be, and it was discussed between themwith a generosity so polite and so determined, that the others wereobliged to settle it for them; Miss Elliot maintaining that Mrs Clayhad a little cold already, and Mr Elliot deciding on appeal,that his cousin Anne's boots were rather the thickest.

　　It was fixed accordingly, that Mrs Clay should be of the partyin the carriage; and they had just reached this point, when Anne,as she sat near the window, descried, most decidedly and distinctly,Captain Wentworth walking down the street.

　　Her start was perceptible only to herself; but she instantly felt thatshe was the greatest simpleton in the world, the most unaccountableand absurd! For a few minutes she saw nothing before her;it was all confusion. She was lost, and when she had scoldedback her senses, she found the others still waiting for the carriage,and Mr Elliot (always obliging) just setting off for Union Streeton a commission of Mrs Clay's.

　　She now felt a great inclination to go to the outer door;she wanted to see if it rained. Why was she to suspect herselfof another motive? Captain Wentworth must be out of sight.She left her seat, she would go; one half of her should not be alwaysso much wiser than the other half, or always suspecting the otherof being worse than it was. She would see if it rained.She was sent back, however, in a moment by the entrance ofCaptain Wentworth himself, among a party of gentlemen and ladies,evidently his acquaintance, and whom he must have joineda little below Milsom Street. He was more obviously struckand confused by the sight of her than she had ever observed before;he looked quite red. For the first time, since their renewed acquaintance,she felt that she was betraying the least sensibility of the two.She had the advantage of him in the preparation of the last few moments.All the overpowering, blinding, bewildering, first effectsof strong surprise were over with her. Still, however,she had enough to feel! It was agitation, pain, pleasure,a something between delight and misery.

　　He spoke to her, and then turned away. The character of his mannerwas embarrassment. She could not have called it either cold or friendly,or anything so certainly as embarrassed.

　　After a short interval, however, he came towards her, and spoke again.Mutual enquiries on common subjects passed: neither of them, probably,much the wiser for what they heard, and Anne continuing fully sensibleof his being less at ease than formerly. They had by dint of beingso very much together, got to speak to each other with a considerableportion of apparent indifference and calmness; but he could not do it now.Time had changed him, or Louisa had changed him. There was consciousnessof some sort or other. He looked very well, not as if he had beensuffering in health or spirits, and he talked of Uppercross,of the Musgroves, nay, even of Louisa, and had even a momentary lookof his own arch significance as he named her; but yet it wasCaptain Wentworth not comfortable, not easy, not able to feign that he was.

　　It did not surprise, but it grieved Anne to observe that Elizabethwould not know him. She saw that he saw Elizabeth, that Elizabeth saw him,that there was complete internal recognition on each side;she was convinced that he was ready to be acknowledged as an acquaintance,expecting it, and she had the pain of seeing her sister turn awaywith unalterable coldness.

　　Lady Dalrymple's carriage, for which Miss Elliot was growingvery impatient, now drew up; the servant came in to announce it.It was beginning to rain again, and altogether there was a delay,and a bustle, and a talking, which must make all the little crowdin the shop understand that Lady Dalrymple was calling to conveyMiss Elliot. At last Miss Elliot and her friend, unattended butby the servant, (for there was no cousin returned), were walking off;and Captain Wentworth, watching them, turned again to Anne,and by manner, rather than words, was offering his services to her.

　　"I am much obliged to you," was her answer, "but I am not going with them.The carriage would not accommodate so many. I walk: I prefer walking."

　　"But it rains."

　　"Oh! very little, Nothing that I regard."

　　After a moment's pause he said: "Though I came only yesterday,I have equipped myself properly for Bath already, you see,"(pointing to a new umbrella); "I wish you would make use of it,if you are determined to walk; though I think it would be more prudentto let me get you a chair."

　　She was very much obliged to him, but declined it all, repeatingher conviction, that the rain would come to nothing at present,and adding, "I am only waiting for Mr Elliot. He will be here in a moment,I am sure."

　　She had hardly spoken the words when Mr Elliot walked in.Captain Wentworth recollected him perfectly. There was no differencebetween him and the man who had stood on the steps at Lyme,admiring Anne as she passed, except in the air and look and mannerof the privileged relation and friend. He came in with eagerness,appeared to see and think only of her, apologised for his stay,was grieved to have kept her waiting, and anxious to get her awaywithout further loss of time and before the rain increased;and in another moment they walked off together, her arm under his,a gentle and embarrassed glance, and a "Good morning to you!"being all that she had time for, as she passed away.

　　As soon as they were out of sight, the ladies of Captain Wentworth's partybegan talking of them.

　　"Mr Elliot does not dislike his cousin, I fancy?"

　　"Oh! no, that is clear enough. One can guess what will happen there.He is always with them; half lives in the family, I believe.What a very good-looking man!"

　　"Yes, and Miss Atkinson, who dined with him once at the Wallises,says he is the most agreeable man she ever was in company with."

　　"She is pretty, I think; Anne Elliot; very pretty, when one comesto look at her. It is not the fashion to say so, but I confessI admire her more than her sister."

　　"Oh! so do I."

　　"And so do I. No comparison. But the men are all wild after Miss Elliot.Anne is too delicate for them."

　　Anne would have been particularly obliged to her cousin, if he would havewalked by her side all the way to Camden Place, without saying a word.She had never found it so difficult to listen to him, though nothingcould exceed his solicitude and care, and though his subjectswere principally such as were wont to be always interesting:praise, warm, just, and discriminating, of Lady Russell,and insinuations highly rational against Mrs Clay. But just nowshe could think only of Captain Wentworth. She could not understandhis present feelings, whether he were really suffering muchfrom disappointment or not; and till that point were settled,she could not be quite herself.

　　She hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! alas!she must confess to herself that she was not wise yet.

　　Another circumstance very essential for her to know, was how longhe meant to be in Bath; he had not mentioned it, or she could notrecollect it. He might be only passing through. But it was more probablethat he should be come to stay. In that case, so liable as every body wasto meet every body in Bath, Lady Russell would in all likelihoodsee him somewhere. Would she recollect him? How would it all be?

　　She had already been obliged to tell Lady Russell that Louisa Musgrovewas to marry Captain Benwick. It had cost her something to encounterLady Russell's surprise; and now, if she were by any chanceto be thrown into company with Captain Wentworth, her imperfect knowledgeof the matter might add another shade of prejudice against him.

　　The following morning Anne was out with her friend, and for the first hour,in an incessant and fearful sort of watch for him in vain; but at last,in returning down Pulteney Street, she distinguished himon the right hand pavement at such a distance as to have him in viewthe greater part of the street. There were many other men about him,many groups walking the same way, but there was no mistaking him.She looked instinctively at Lady Russell; but not from any mad ideaof her recognising him so soon as she did herself. No, it wasnot to be supposed that Lady Russell would perceive him till theywere nearly opposite. She looked at her however, from time to time,anxiously; and when the moment approached which must point him out,though not daring to look again (for her own countenance she knewwas unfit to be seen), she was yet perfectly conscious ofLady Russell's eyes being turned exactly in the direction for him--of her being, in short, intently observing him. She could thoroughlycomprehend the sort of fascination he must possess over Lady Russell's mind,the difficulty it must be for her to withdraw her eyes, the astonishmentshe must be feeling that eight or nine years should have passed over him,and in foreign climes and in active service too, without robbing himof one personal grace!

　　At last, Lady Russell drew back her head. "Now, how would shespeak of him?"

　　"You will wonder," said she, "what has been fixing my eye so long;but I was looking after some window-curtains, which Lady Alicia andMrs Frankland were telling me of last night. They describedthe drawing-room window-curtains of one of the houses on thisside of the way, and this part of the street, as being the handsomestand best hung of any in Bath, but could not recollect the exact number,and I have been trying to find out which it could be; but I confessI can see no curtains hereabouts that answer their description."

　　Anne sighed and blushed and smiled, in pity and disdain,either at her friend or herself. The part which provoked her most,was that in all this waste of foresight and caution, she should havelost the right moment for seeing whether he saw them.

　　A day or two passed without producing anything. The theatre or the rooms,where he was most likely to be, were not fashionable enoughfor the Elliots, whose evening amusements were solely in theelegant stupidity of private parties, in which they were gettingmore and more engaged; and Anne, wearied of such a state of stagnation,sick of knowing nothing, and fancying herself stronger becauseher strength was not tried, was quite impatient for the concert evening.It was a concert for the benefit of a person patronised by Lady Dalrymple.Of course they must attend. It was really expected to be a good one,and Captain Wentworth was very fond of music. If she could only havea few minutes conversation with him again, she fancied she shouldbe satisfied; and as to the power of addressing him, she felt all overcourage if the opportunity occurred. Elizabeth had turned from him,Lady Russell overlooked him; her nerves were strengthenedby these circumstances; she felt that she owed him attention.

　　She had once partly promised Mrs Smith to spend the evening with her;but in a short hurried call she excused herself and put it off,with the more decided promise of a longer visit on the morrow.Mrs Smith gave a most good-humoured acquiescence.

　　"By all means," said she; "only tell me all about it, when you do come.Who is your party?"

　　Anne named them all. Mrs Smith made no reply; but when she wasleaving her said, and with an expression half serious, half arch,"Well, I heartily wish your concert may answer; and do not fail meto-morrow if you can come; for I begin to have a forebodingthat I may not have many more visits from you."

　　Anne was startled and confused; but after standing in a moment's suspense,was obliged, and not sorry to be obliged, to hurry away.