Chapter 54

by Jane Austen

　　As soon as they were gone, Elizabeth walked out to recoverher spirits; or in other words, to dwell without interruptionon those subjects that must deaden them more. Mr. Darcy'sbehaviour astonished and vexed her."Why, if he came only to be silent, grave, and indifferent,"said she, "did he come at all?"She could settle it in no way that gave her pleasure."He could be still amiable, still pleasing, to my uncle andaunt, when he was in town; and why not to me? If he fears me,why come hither? If he no longer cares for me, why silent?Teazing, teazing, man! I will think no more about him."Her resolution was for a short time involuntarily kept bythe approach of her sister, who joined her with a cheerfullook, which shewed her better satisfied with their visitors,than Elizabeth."Now," said she, "that this first meeting is over, I feelperfectly easy. I know my own strength, and I shall never beembarrassed again by his coming. I am glad he dines here onTuesday. It will then be publicly seen that, on both sides,we meet only as common and indifferent acquaintance.""Yes, very indifferent indeed," said Elizabeth, laughingly."Oh, Jane, take care.""My dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in dangernow?""I think you are in very great danger of making him as muchin love with you as ever."They did not see the gentlemen again till Tuesday; andMrs. Bennet, in the meanwhile, was giving way to all thehappy schemes, which the good humour and common politenessof Bingley, in half an hour's visit, had revived.On Tuesday there was a large party assembled at Longbourn;and the two who were most anxiously expected, to the credit oftheir punctuality as sportsmen, were in very good time. Whenthey repaired to the dining-room, Elizabeth eagerly watched tosee whether Bingley would take the place, which, in all theirformer parties, had belonged to him, by her sister. Herprudent mother, occupied by the same ideas, forbore to invitehim to sit by herself. On entering the room, he seemed tohesitate; but Jane happened to look round, and happened tosmile: it was decided. He placed himself by her.Elizabeth, with a triumphant sensation, looked towards hisfriend. He bore it with noble indifference, and she would haveimagined that Bingley had received his sanction to be happy,had she not seen his eyes likewise turned towards Mr. Darcy,with an expression of half-laughing alarm.His behaviour to her sister was such, during dinner time, asshewed an admiration of her, which, though more guarded thanformerly, persuaded Elizabeth, that if left wholly to himself,Jane's happiness, and his own, would be speedily secured.Though she dared not depend upon the consequence, she yetreceived pleasure from observing his behaviour. It gave herall the animation that her spirits could boast; for she was inno cheerful humour. Mr. Darcy was almost as far from her asthe table could divide them. He was on one side of her mother.She knew how little such a situation would give pleasure toeither, or make either appear to advantage. She was not nearenough to hear any of their discourse, but she could see howseldom they spoke to each other, and how formal and cold wastheir manner whenever they did. Her mother's ungraciousness,made the sense of what they owed him more painful toElizabeth's mind; and she would, at times, have given anything to be privileged to tell him that his kindness wasneither unknown nor unfelt by the whole of the family.She was in hopes that the evening would afford some opportunityof bringing them together; that the whole of the visit wouldnot pass away without enabling them to enter into somethingmore of conversation than the mere ceremonious salutationattending his entrance. Anxious and uneasy, the period whichpassed in the drawing-room, before the gentlemen came, waswearisome and dull to a degree that almost made her uncivil.She looked forward to their entrance as the point on which allher chance of pleasure for the evening must depend."If he does not come to me, then," said she, "I shall givehim up for ever."The gentlemen came; and she thought he looked as if he wouldhave answered her hopes; but, alas! the ladies had crowdedround the table, where Miss Bennet was making tea, andElizabeth pouring out the coffee, in so close a confederacythat there was not a single vacancy near her which would admitof a chair. And on the gentlemen's approaching, one of thegirls moved closer to her than ever, and said, in a whisper,"The men shan't come and part us, I am determined. We wantnone of them; do we?"Darcy had walked away to another part of the room. Shefollowed him with her eyes, envied every one to whom he spoke,had scarcely patience enough to help anybody to coffee; andthen was enraged against herself for being so silly!"A man who has once been refused! How could I ever be foolishenough to expect a renewal of his love? Is there one among thesex, who would not protest against such a weakness as a secondproposal to the same woman? There is no indignity so abhorrentto their feelings!"She was a little revived, however, by his bringing back hiscoffee cup himself; and she seized the opportunity of saying,"Is your sister at Pemberley still?""Yes, she will remain there till Christmas.""And quite alone? Have all her friends left her?""Mrs. Annesley is with her. The others have been gone on toScarborough, these three weeks."She could think of nothing more to say; but if he wished toconverse with her, he might have better success. He stood byher, however, for some minutes, in silence; and, at last, onthe young lady's whispering to Elizabeth again, he walked away.When the tea-things were removed, and the card tables placed,the ladies all rose, and Elizabeth was then hoping to be soonjoined by him, when all her views were overthrown by seeing himfall a victim to her mother's rapacity for whist players, andin a few moments after seated with the rest of the party. Shenow lost every expectation of pleasure. They were confined forthe evening at different tables, and she had nothing to hope,but that his eyes were so often turned towards her side of theroom, as to make him play as unsuccessfully as herself.Mrs. Bennet had designed to keep the two Netherfield gentlemento supper; but their carriage was unluckily ordered before anyof the others, and she had no opportunity of detaining them."Well girls," said she, as soon as they were left tothemselves, "What say you to the day? I think every thing haspassed off uncommonly well, I assure you. The dinner was aswell dressed as any I ever saw. The venison was roasted to aturn -- and everybody said they never saw so fat a haunch. Thesoup was fifty times better than what we had at the Lucases'last week; and even Mr. Darcy acknowledged, that the partridgeswere remarkably well done; and I suppose he has two or threeFrench cooks at least. And, my dear Jane, I never saw you lookin greater beauty. Mrs. Long said so too, for I asked herwhether you did not. And what do you think she said besides?``Ah! Mrs. Bennet, we shall have her at Netherfield at last.''She did indeed. I do think Mrs. Long is as good a creature asever lived -- and her nieces are very pretty behaved girls, andnot at all handsome: I like them prodigiously."Mrs. Bennet, in short, was in very great spirits; she had seenenough of Bingley's behaviour to Jane, to be convinced that shewould get him at last; and her expectations of advantage to herfamily, when in a happy humour, were so far beyond reason, thatshe was quite disappointed at not seeing him there again thenext day, to make his proposals."It has been a very agreeable day," said Miss Bennet toElizabeth. "The party seemed so well selected, so suitableone with the other. I hope we may often meet again."Elizabeth smiled."Lizzy, you must not do so. You must not suspect me. Itmortifies me. I assure you that I have now learnt to enjoyhis conversation as an agreeable and sensible young man,without having a wish beyond it. I am perfectly satisfied,from what his manners now are, that he never had any designof engaging my affection. It is only that he is blessedwith greater sweetness of address, and a stronger desire ofgenerally pleasing, than any other man.""You are very cruel," said her sister, "you will not let mesmile, and are provoking me to it every moment.""How hard it is in some cases to be believed!""And how impossible in others!""But why should you wish to persuade me that I feel more than Iacknowledge?""That is a question which I hardly know how to answer. We alllove to instruct, though we can teach only what is not worthknowing. Forgive me; and if you persist in indifference, donot make me your confidante."