Queries and Answers

by O. Henry

　　

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Can you inform me where I can buy an interest in a newspaper of somekind? I have some money and would be glad to invest it in something ofthe sort, if some one would allow me to put in my capital against hisexperience.COLLEGE GRADUATE. Telegraph us your address at once, day message. Keep telegraphing everyten minutes at our expense until we see you. Will start on first trainafter receiving your wire. * * * * Who was the author of the line, "Breathes there a man with soul sodead?"G. F. This was written by a visitor to the State Saengerfest of 1892 whileconversing with a member who had just eaten a large slice of limburgercheese. * * * * Where can I get the "Testimony of the Rocks"?GEOLOGIST. See the reports of the campaign committees after the election inNovember. * * * * Please state what the seven wonders of the world are. I know five ofthem, I think, but can't find out the other two.SCHOLAR. The Temple of Diana, at Lexington, Ky.; the Great Wall of China; JudgeVon Rosenberg (the Colossus of Roads); the Hanging Gardens at Albany; aSan Antonio Sunday school; Mrs. Frank Leslie, and the Populist party. * * * * What day did Christmas come on in the year 1847?CONSTANT READER The 25th of December. * * * * What does an F. F. V. mean?IGNORANT. What does he mean by what? If he takes you by the arm and tells you howmuch you are like a brother of his in Richmond, he means Feel For YourVest, for he wants to borrow a five. If he holds his head high and don'tspeak to you on the street he means that he already owes you ten and isFollowing a Fresh Victim. * * * * Please decide a bet for us. My friend says that the sentence, "The negrobought the watermelon OF the farmer" is correct, and I say it should be"The negro bought the watermelon from the farmer." Which is correct?R. Neither. It should read, "The negro stole the watermelonfrom the farmer." * * * * When do the Texas game laws go into effect?HUNTER. When you sit down at the table. * * * * Do you know where I can trade a section of fine Panhandle land for apair of pants with a good title?LAND AGENT. We do not. You can't raise anything on land in that section. A man canalways raise a dollar on a good pair of pants. * * * * Name in order the three best newspapers in Texas.ADVERTISER. Well, the Galveston News runs about second, and the San Antonio Expressthird. Let us hear from you again. * * * * Has a married woman any rights in Texas?PROSPECTOR. Hush, Mr. Prospector. Not quite so loud, if you please. Come up to theoffice some afternoon, and if everything seems quiet, come inside, andlook at our eye, and our suspenders hanging on to one button, and feelthe lump on the top of our head. Yes, she has some rights of her own,and everybody else's she can scoop in. * * * * Who was the author of the sayings, "A public office is a public trust,"and "I would rather be right than President"? Eli Perkins. * * * * Is the Lakeside Improvement Company making anything out of their owntown tract on the lake?INQUISITIVE. Yes, lots.

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