Rights and Wrongs

by T.S. Arthur

It is a little singular--yet certainly true--that people who arevery tenacious of their own rights, and prompt in maintaining them,usually have rather vague notions touching the rights of others.Like the too eager merchant, in securing their own, they are veryapt to get a little more than belongs to them.Mrs. Barbara Uhler presented a notable instance of this. We cannotexactly class her with the "strong-minded" women of the day. But shehad quite a leaning in that direction; and if not very strong-mindedherself, was so unfortunate as to number among her intimate friendstwo or three ladies who had a fair title to the distinction.Mrs. Barbara Uhler was a wife and a mother. She was also a woman;and her consciousness of this last named fact was never indistinct,nor ever unmingled with a belligerent appreciation of the rightsappertaining to her sex and position.As for Mr. Herman Uhler, he was looked upon, abroad, as a mild,reasonable, good sort of a man. At home, however, he was held in avery different estimation. The "wife of his bosom" regarded him asan exacting domestic tyrant; and, in opposing his will, she onlyfell back, as she conceived, upon the first and most sacred law ofher nature. As to "obeying" him, she had scouted that idea from thebeginning. The words, "honor and obey," in the marriage service, shehad always declared, would have to be omitted when she stood at thealtar. But as she had, in her maidenhood, a very strong liking forthe handsome young Mr. Uhler, and, as she could not obtain somaterial a change in the church ritual, as the one needed to meether case, she wisely made a virtue of necessity, and went to thealtar with her lover. The difficulty was reconciled to her ownconscience by a mental reservation.It is worthy of remark that above all other of the obligations heresolemnly entered into, this one, not to honor and obey herhusband, ever after remained prominent in the mind of Mrs. BarbaraUhler. And it was no fruitless sentiment, as Mr. Herman Uhler couldfeelingly testify.From the beginning it was clearly apparent to Mrs. Uhler that herhusband expected too much from her; that he regarded her as a kindof upper servant in his household, and that he considered himself ashaving a right to complain if things were not orderly andcomfortable. At first, she met his looks or words of displeasure,when his meals, for instance, were late, or so badly cooked as to beunhealthy and unpalatable, with--"I'm sorry, dear; but I can't help it.""Are you sure you can't help it, Barbara?" Mr. Uhler at lengthventured to ask, in as mild a tone of voice as his serious feelingson the subject would enable him to assume.Mrs. Uhler's face flushed instantly, and she answered, with dignity:"I am sure, Mr. Uhler."It was the first time, in speaking to her husband, that she had said"Mr. Uhler," in her life the first time she had ever looked at himwith so steady and defiant an aspect.Now, we cannot say how most men would have acted under similarcircumstances; we can only record what Mr. Uhler said and did:"And I am not sure, Mrs. Uhler," was his prompt, impulsive reply,drawing himself up, and looking somewhat sternly at his better half."You are not?" said Mrs. Uhler; and she compressed her lips tightly."I am not," was the emphatic response."And what do you expect me to do, pray?" came next from the lady'slips."Do as I do in my business," answered the gentleman. "Have competentassistance, or see that things are done right yourself.""Go into the kitchen and cook the dinner, you mean, I suppose?""You can put my meaning into any form of words you please, Barbara.You have charge of this household, and it is your place to see thateverything due to the health and comfort of its inmates is properlycared for. If those to whom you delegate so important a part ofdomestic economy as the preparation of food, are ignorant orcareless, surely it is your duty to go into the kitchen daily, andsee that it is properly done. I never trust wholly to any individualin my employment. There is no department of the business to which Ido not give personal attention. Were I to do so my customers wouldpay little regard to excuses about ignorant workmen and carelessclerks. They would soon seek their goods in another and betterconducted establishment.""Perhaps you had better seek your dinners elsewhere, if they are solittle to your fancy at home."This was the cool, defiant reply of the outraged Mrs. Uhler.Alas, for Mr. Herman Uhler; he had, so far as his wife wasconcerned, committed the unpardonable sin; and the consequencesvisited upon his transgression were so overwhelming that he gave upthe struggle in despair. Contention with such an antagonist, he saw,from the instinct of self-preservation, would be utterly disastrous.While little was to be gained, everything was in danger of beinglost."I have nothing more to say," was his repeated answer to the runningfire which his wife kept up against him for a long time. "You aremistress of the house; act your own pleasure. Thank you for thesuggestion about dinner. I may find it convenient to act thereon."The last part of this sentence was extorted by the continuedirritating language of Mrs. Uhler. Its utterance rather cooled thelady's indignant ardor, and checked the sharp words that wererattling from her tongue. A truce to open warfare was tacitly agreedupon between the parties. The antagonism was not, however, the lessreal. Mrs. Uhler knew that her husband expected of her a degree ofpersonal attention to household matters that she considereddegrading to her condition as a wife; and, because he expectedthis, she, in order to maintain the dignity of her position, gaveeven less attention to these matters than would otherwise have beenthe case. Of course, under such administration of domestic affairs,causes for dissatisfaction on the part of Mr. Uhler, were ever inexistence. For the most part he bore up under them with commendablepatience; but, there were times when weak human nature faltered bythe way--when, from heart-fulness the mouth would speak. This wasbut to add new fuel to the flame. This only gave to Mrs. Uhler aground of argument against her husband as an unreasonable,oppressive tyrant; as one of the large class of men who not onlyregard woman as inferior, but who, in all cases of weak submission,hesitate not to put a foot upon her neck.Some of the female associates, among whom Mrs. Uhler unfortunatelyfound herself thrown, were loud talkers about woman's rights andman's tyranny; and to them, with a most unwife-like indelicacy ofspeech, she did not hesitate to allude to her husband as one of theclass of men who would trample upon a woman if permitted to do so.By these ladies she was urged to maintain her rights, to keep everin view the dignity and elevation of her sex, and to let man, thetyrant, know, that a time was fast approaching when his haughtypride would be humbled to the dust.And so Mrs. Uhler, under this kind of stimulus to the maintainanceof her own rights against the imaginary aggressions of her husband,trampled upon his rights in numberless ways.As time wore on, no change for the better occurred. A woman does notreason to just conclusions, either from facts or abstract principleslike man; but takes, for the most part, the directer road ofperception. If, therefore her womanly instincts are all right, herconclusions will be true; but if they are wrong, false judgment isinevitable. The instincts of Mrs. Uhler were wrong in the beginning,and she was, in consequence, easily led by her associates, intowrong estimates of both her own and her husband's position.One day, on coming home to dinner, Mr. Uhler was told by a servant,that his wife had gone to an anti-slavery meeting, and would not getback till evening, as she intended dining with a friend. Mr. Uhlermade no remark on receiving this information. A meagre, badly-cookeddinner was served, to which he seated himself, alone, not to eat,but to chew the cud of bitter fancies. Business, with Mr. Uhler, hadnot been very prosperous of late; and he had suffered much from afeeling of discouragement. Yet, for all this, his wife's demands formoney, were promptly met--and she was not inclined to be overcareful as to the range of her expenditures.There was a singular expression on the face of Mr. Uhler, as he lefthis home on that day. Some new purpose had been formed in his mind,or some good principle abandoned. He was a changed man--changed forthe worse, it may well be feared.It was late in the afternoon when Mrs. Uhler returned. To haveinquired of the servant whether Mr. Uhler had made any remark, whenhe found that she was absent at dinner time, she would have regardedas a betrayal to that personage of a sense of accountability on herpart. No; she stooped not to any inquiry of this kind--compromisednot the independence of the individual.The usual tea hour was at hand--but, strange to say, the punctualMr. Uhler did not make his appearance. For an hour the table stoodon the floor, awaiting his return, but he came not. Then Mrs. Uhlergave her hungry, impatient little ones their suppers--singularlyenough, she had no appetite for food herself--and sent them to bed.Never since her marriage had Mrs. Uhler spent so troubled an eveningas that one proved to be. A dozen times she rallied herself--a dozentimes she appealed to her independence and individuality as a woman,against the o'er-shadowing concern about her husband, which camegradually stealing upon her mind. And with this uncomfortablefeeling were some intruding and unwelcome thoughts, that in no waystimulated her self-approval.It was nearly eleven o'clock when Mr. Uhler came home; and then hebrought in his clothes such rank fumes of tobacco, and his breathwas so tainted with brandy, that his wife had no need of inquiry asto where he had spent his evening. His countenance wore a look ofvacant unconcern."Ah! At home, are you?" said he, lightly, as he met his wife. "Didyou have a pleasant day of it?"Mrs. Uhler was--frightened--shall we say? We must utter the word,even though it meet the eyes of her "strong minded" friends, whowill be shocked to hear that one from whom they had hoped so much,should be frightened by so insignificant a creature as a husband.Yes, Mrs. Uhler was really frightened by this new aspect in whichher husband presented himself. She felt that she was in a dilemma,to which, unhappily, there was not a single horn, much less choicebetween two.We believe Mrs. Uhler did not sleep very well during the night. Herhusband, however, slept "like a log." On the next morning, her browwas overcast; but his countenance wore a careless aspect. He chattedwith the children at the breakfast table, goodnaturedly, but saidlittle to his wife, who had penetration enough to see that he washiding his real feelings under an assumed exterior."Are you going to be home to dinner to-day?" said Mr. Uhler,carelessly, as he arose from the table. He had only sipped part of acup of bad coffee."Certainly I am," was the rather sharp reply. The question irritatedthe lady."You needn't on my account," said Mr. Uhler. "I've engaged to dineat the Astor with a friend.""Oh, very well!" Mrs. Uhler bridled and looked dignified. Yet, herflashing eyes showed that cutting words were ready to leap from hertongue. And they would have come sharply on the air, had not themanner of her husband been so unusual and really mysterious. In aword, a vague fear kept her silent.Mr. Uhler went to his store, but manifested little of his usualinterest and activity. Much that he had been in the habit ofattending to personally, he delegated to clerks. He dined at theAstor, and spent most of the afternoon there, smoking, talking, anddrinking. At tea-time he came home. The eyes of Mrs. Uhler soughthis face anxiously as he came in. There was a veil of mystery uponit, through which her eyes could not penetrate. Mr. Uhler remainedat home during the evening, but did not seem to be himself. On thenext morning, as he was about leaving the house, his wife said--"Can you let me have some money to-day?"Almost for the first time in her life, Mrs. Uhler asked thisquestion in a hesitating manner; and, for the first time, she sawthat her request was not favorably received."How much do you want?" inquired the husband."I should like to have a hundred dollars," said Mrs. Uhler."I'm sorry; but I can't let you have it," was answered. "I lost fivehundred dollars day before yesterday through the neglect of one ofmy clerks, while I was riding out with some friends.""Riding out!" exclaimed Mrs. Uhler."Yes. You can't expect me to be always tied down to business. I likea little recreation and pleasant intercourse with friends as much asany one. Well, you see, a country dealer, who owed me five hundreddollars, was in the city, and promised to call and settle on theafternoon of day before yesterday. I explained to one of my clerkswhat he must do when the customer came in, and, of course, expectedall to be done right. Not so, however. The man, when he found thathe had my clerk, and not me, to deal with, objected to someunimportant charge in his bill, and the foolish fellow, instead ofyielding the point, insisted that the account was correct. Thecustomer went away, and paid out all his money in settling a billwith one of my neighbors. And so I got nothing. Most likely, I shalllose the whole account, as he is a slippery chap, and will, in allprobability, see it to be his interest to make a failure betweenthis and next spring. I just wanted that money to-day. Now I shallhave to be running around half the morning to make up the sum Ineed.""But how could you go away under such circumstances, and trust allto a clerk?" said Mrs. Uhler warmly, and with reproof in her voice."How could I!" was the quick response. "And do you suppose I amgoing to tie myself down to the store like a slave! You are mistakenif you do; that is all I have to say! I hire clerks to attend to mybusiness.""But suppose they are incompetent? What then?" Mrs. Uhler was veryearnest."That doesn't in the least alter my character and position." Mr.Uhler looked his wife fixedly in the face for some moments aftersaying this, and then retired from the house without further remark.The change in her husband, which Mrs. Uhler at first tried to makeherself believe was mere assumption or caprice, proved, unhappily, apermanent state. He neglected his business and his home for socialcompanions; and whenever asked by his wife for supplies of cash,invariably gave as a reason why he could not supply her want, thefact of some new loss of custom, or money, in consequence ofneglect, carelessness, or incompetency of clerks or workmen, when hewas away, enjoying himself.For a long time, Mrs. Uhler's independent spirit struggled againstthe humiliating necessity that daily twined its coils closer andcloser around her. More and more clearly did she see, in herhusband's wrong conduct, a reflection of her own wrong deeds in thebeginning. It was hard for her to acknowledge that she had been inerror--even to herself. But conviction lifted before her mind,daily, its rebuking finger, and she could not shut the vision out.Neglect of business brought its disastrous consequences. In the endthere was a failure; and yet, to the end, Mr. Uhler excused hisconduct on the ground that he wasn't going to tie himself down likea galley slave to the oar--wasn't going to stoop to the drudgery hehad employed clerks to perform. This was all his wife could gainfrom him in reply to her frequent remonstrances.Up to this time, Mr. Uhler had resisted the better suggestionswhich, in lucid intervals, if we may so call them, were thrown intoher mind. Pride would not let her give to her household duties thatpersonal care which their rightful performance demanded; the moreparticularly, as, in much of her husband's conduct, she plainly sawrebuke.At last, poverty, that stern oppressor, drove the Uhlers out fromtheir pleasant home, and they shrunk away into obscurity, privation,and want. In the last interview held by Mrs. Uhler with the "strongminded" friends, whose society had so long thrown its fascinationsaround her, and whose views and opinions had so long exercised abaleful influence over her home, she was urgently advised to abandonher husband, whom one of the number did not hesitate to denounce inlanguage so coarse and disgusting, that the latent instincts of thewife were shocked beyond measure. Her husband was not the brutal,sensual tyrant this refined lady, in her intemperate zeal,represented him. None knew the picture to be so false as Mrs. Uhler,and all that was good and true in her rose up in indignantrebellion.To her poor, comfortless home, and neglected children, Mrs. Uhlerreturned in a state of mind so different from anything she hadexperienced for years, that she half wondered within herself if shewere really the same woman. Scales had fallen suddenly from hereyes, and she saw every thing around her in new aspects and newrelations."Has my husband really been an exacting tyrant?" This question shepropounded to herself almost involuntarily. "Did he trample upon myrights in the beginning, or did I trample upon his? He had a rightto expect from me the best service I could render, in making hishome comfortable and happy. Did I render that service? did I see inmy home duties my highest obligation as a wife? have I been a truewife to him?"So rapidly came these rebuking interrogations upon the mind of Mrs.Uhler, that it almost seemed as if an accuser stood near, anduttered the questions aloud. And how did she respond? Not in selfjustification. Convinced, humbled, repentant, she sought her home.It was late in the afternoon, almost evening, when Mrs. Uhler passedthe threshold of her own door. The cry of a child reached her earsthe moment she entered, and she knew, in an instant, that it was acry of suffering, not anger or ill nature. Hurrying to her chamber,she found her three little ones huddled together on the floor, theyoungest with one of its arms and the side of its face badly burnedin consequence of its clothes having taken fire. As well as shecould learn, the girl in whose charge she had left the children, andwho, in the reduced circumstances of the family, was constituteddoer of all work, had, from some pique, gone away in her absence.Thus left free to go where, and do what they pleased, the childrenhad amused themselves in playing with the fire. When the clothes ofthe youngest caught in the blaze of a lighted stick, the two oldest,with singular presence of mind, threw around her a wet towel thathung near, and thus saved her life."Has your father been home?" asked Mrs. Uhler, as soon as shecomprehended the scene before her."Yes, ma'am," was answered."Where is he?""He's gone for the doctor," replied the oldest of the children."What did he say?" This question was involuntary. The childhesitated for a moment, and then replied artlessly--"He said he wished we had no mother, and then he'd know how to takecare of us himself."The words came with the force of a blow. Mrs. Uhler staggeredbackwards, and sunk upon a chair, weak, for a brief time, as aninfant. Ere yet her strength returned, her husband came in with adoctor. He did not seem to notice her presence; but she soon madethat apparent. All the mother's heart was suddenly alive in her. Shewas not over officious--had little to say; but her actions were allto the purpose. In due time, the little sufferer was in acomfortable state and the doctor retired.Not a word had, up to this moment, passed between the husband andwife. Now, the eyes of the latter sought those of Mr. Uhler; butthere came no answering glance. His face was sternly averted.Darkness was now beginning to fall, and Mrs. Uhler left her husbandand children, and went down into the kitchen. The fire had burnedlow; and was nearly extinguished. The girl had not returned; and,from what Mrs. Uhler gathered from the children would not, shepresumed, come back to them again. It mattered not, however; Mrs.Uhler was in no state of mind to regard this as a cause of trouble.She rather felt relieved by her absence. Soon the fire wasrekindled; the kettle simmering; and, in due time, a comfortablesupper was on the table, prepared by her own hands, and wellprepared too.Mr. Uhler was a little taken by surprise, when, on being summoned totea, he took his place at the usually uninviting table, and sawbefore him a dish of well made toast, and a plate of nicely boiledham. He said nothing; but a sensation of pleasure, so warm that itmade his heart beat quicker, pervaded his bosom; and this wasincreased, when he placed the cup of well made, fragrant tea to hislips, and took a long delicious draught. All had been prepared bythe hands of his wife--that he knew. How quickly his pleasure sigheditself away, as he remembered that, with her ample ability to makehis home the pleasantest place for him in the world, she was whollywanting in inclination.Usually, the husband spent his evenings away. Something caused himto linger in his own home on this occasion. Few words passed betweenhim and his wife; but the latter was active through all the evening,and, wherever her hand was laid, order seemed to grow up fromdisorder; and the light glinted back from a hundred places in theroom, where no cheerful reflection had ever met his eyes before.Mr. Uhler looked on, in wonder and hope, but said nothing. Strangeenough, Mrs. Uhler was up by day-dawn on the next morning; and indue time, a very comfortable breakfast was prepared by her ownhands. Mr. Uhler ventured a word of praise, as he sipped his coffee.Never had he tasted finer in his life, he said. Mrs. Uhler lookedgratified; but offered no response.At dinner time Mr. Uhler came home from the store, where he was nowemployed at a small salary, and still more to his surprise, found awell cooked and well served meal awaiting him. Never, since hismarriage, had he eaten food at his own table with so true arelish--never before had every thing in his house seemed so muchlike home.And so things went on for a week, Mr. Uhler wondering and observant,and Mrs. Uhler finding her own sweet reward, not only in aconsciousness of duty, but in seeing a great change in her husband,who was no longer moody and ill-natured, and who had not been absentonce at meal time, nor during an evening, since she had striven tobe to him a good wife, and to her children a self denying mother.There came, now, to be a sort of tacit emulation of good officesbetween the wife and husband, who had, for so many years, lived in astate of partial indifference. Mr. Uhler urged the procuring of adomestic, in place of the girl who had left them, but Mrs. Uhlersaid no--their circumstances would not justify the expense. Mr.Uhler said they could very well afford it, and intimated somethingabout an expected advance in his salary."I do not wish to see you a mere household drudge," he said to herone day, a few weeks after the change just noted. "You know so wellhow every thing ought to be done, that the office of director aloneshould be yours. I think there is a brighter day coming for us. Ihope so. From the first of next month, my salary is to be increasedto a thousand dollars. Then we will move from this poor place, intoa better home."There was a blending of hopefulness and tenderness in the voice ofMr. Uhler, that touched his wife deeply. Overcome by her feelings,she laid her face upon his bosom, and wept."Whether the day be brighter or darker," she said, when she couldspeak calmly, "God helping me, I will be to you a true wife, Herman.If there be clouds and storms without, the hearth shall only burnthe brighter for you within. Forgive me for the past, dear husband!and have faith in me for the future. You shall not be disappointed."And he was not. Mrs. Uhler had discovered her true relation, and hadbecome conscious of her true duties. She was no longer jealous ofher own rights, and therefore never trespassed on the rights of herhusband.The rapidity with which Mr. Uhler rose to his old position inbusiness, sometimes caused a feeling of wonder to pervade the mindof his wife. From a clerk of one thousand, he soon came into thereceipt of two thousand a year, then rose to be a partner in thebusiness, and in a singularly short period was a man of wealth. Mrs.Uhler was puzzled, sometimes, at this, and so were other people. Itwas even hinted, that he had never been as poor as was pretended. Bethat as it may, as he never afterwards trusted important matters tothe discretion of irresponsible clerks, his business operations wenton prosperously; and, on the other hand, as Mrs. Uhler never againleft the comfort and health of her family entirely in the hands ofignorant and careless domestics, the home of her husband was thepleasantest place in the world for him, and his wife, not a mereupper servant, but a loving and intelligent companion, whom he caredfor and cherished with the utmost tenderness.

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