Chapter 60

by Jane Austen

　　Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness again, shewanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in lovewith her. "How could you begin?" said she. "I can comprehendyour going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning;but what could set you off in the first place?""I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or thewords, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I wasin the middle before I knew that I had begun.""My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners --my behaviour to you was at least always bordering on theuncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing togive you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me formy impertinence?""For the liveliness of your mind, I did.""You may as well call it impertinence at once. It was verylittle less. The fact is, that you were sick of civility, ofdeference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with thewomen who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking foryour approbation alone. I roused, and interested you,because I was so unlike them. Had you not been reallyamiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite of thepains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were alwaysnoble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised thepersons who so assiduously courted you. There -- I have savedyou the trouble of accounting for it; and really, all thingsconsidered, I begin to think it perfectly reasonable. To besure, you knew no actual good of me -- but nobody thinks ofthat when they fall in love.""Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane whileshe was ill at Netherfield?""Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? But make avirtue of it by all means. My good qualities are under yourprotection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible;and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasions for teazingand quarrelling with you as often as may be; and I shall begindirectly by asking you what made you so unwilling to come tothe point at last. What made you so shy of me, when you firstcalled, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when youcalled, did you look as if you did not care about me?""Because you were grave and silent, and gave me noencouragement.""But I was embarrassed.""And so was I.""You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.""A man who had felt less, might.""How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give,and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it! But Iwonder how long you would have gone on, if you had been leftto yourself. I wonder when you would have spoken, if I hadnot asked you! My resolution of thanking you for your kindnessto Lydia had certainly great effect. Too much, I amafraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort springsfrom a breach of promise? for I ought not to have mentionedthe subject. This will never do.""You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectlyfair. Lady Catherine's unjustifiable endeavours to separate uswere the means of removing all my doubts. I am not indebtedfor my present happiness to your eager desire of expressingyour gratitude. I was not in a humour to wait for any openingof your's. My aunt's intelligence had given me hope, and I wasdetermined at once to know every thing.""Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to makeher happy, for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what didyou come down to Netherfield for? Was it merely to ride toLongbourn and be embarrassed? or had you intended any moreserious consequence?""My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I could,whether I might ever hope to make you love me. My avowed one,or what I avowed to myself, was to see whether your sister werestill partial to Bingley, and if she were, to make theconfession to him which I have since made.""Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherinewhat is to befall her?""I am more likely to want more time than courage, Elizabeth.But it ought to done, and if you will give me a sheet of paper,it shall be done directly.""And if I had not a letter to write myself, I might sit by youand admire the evenness of your writing, as another young ladyonce did. But I have an aunt, too, who must not be longerneglected."From an unwillingness to confess how much her intimacy withMr. Darcy had been over-rated, Elizabeth had never yetanswered Mrs. Gardiner's long letter; but now, having thatto communicate which she knew would be most welcome, she wasalmost ashamed to find that her uncle and aunt had already lostthree days of happiness, and immediately wrote as follows:"I would have thanked you before, my dear aunt, as I oughtto have done, for your long, kind, satisfactory, detail ofparticulars; but to say the truth, I was too cross to write.You supposed more than really existed. But now suppose asmuch as you choose; give a loose to your fancy, indulge yourimagination in every possible flight which the subject willafford, and unless you believe me actually married, you cannotgreatly err. You must write again very soon, and praise him agreat deal more than you did in your last. I thank you, againand again, for not going to the Lakes. How could I be so sillyas to wish it! Your idea of the ponies is delightful. We willgo round the Park every day. I am the happiest creature in theworld. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not onewith such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she onlysmiles, I laugh. Mr. Darcy sends you all the love in the worldthat he can spare from me. You are all to come to Pemberley atChristmas. Your's, &c."Mr. Darcy's letter to Lady Catherine was in a different style;and still different from either was what Mr. Bennet sent toMr. Collins, in reply to his last."Dear Sir,I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabethwill soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherineas well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by thenephew. He has more to give.Your's sincerely, &c."Miss Bingley's congratulations to her brother, on hisapproaching marriage, were all that was affectionate andinsincere. She wrote even to Jane on the occasion, to expressher delight, and repeat all her former professions of regard.Jane was not deceived, but she was affected; and though feelingno reliance on her, could not help writing her a much kinderanswer than she knew was deserved.The joy which Miss Darcy expressed on receiving similarinformation, was as sincere as her brother's in sending it.Four sides of paper were insufficient to contain all herdelight, and all her earnest desire of being loved by hersister.Before any answer could arrive from Mr. Collins, or anycongratulations to Elizabeth from his wife, the Longbournfamily heard that the Collinses were come themselves to Lucaslodge. The reason of this sudden removal was soon evident.Lady Catherine had been rendered so exceedingly angry bythe contents of her nephew's letter, that Charlotte, reallyrejoicing in the match, was anxious to get away till thestorm was blown over. At such a moment, the arrival ofher friend was a sincere pleasure to Elizabeth, though inthe course of their meetings she must sometimes think thepleasure dearly bought, when she saw Mr. Darcy exposed to allthe parading and obsequious civility of her husband. He boreit, however, with admirable calmness. He could even listen toSir William Lucas, when he complimented him on carrying awaythe brightest jewel of the country, and expressed his hopes oftheir all meeting frequently at St. James's, with very decentcomposure. If he did shrug his shoulders, it was not till SirWilliam was out of sight.Mrs. Philips's vulgarity was another, and perhaps a greater,tax on his forbearance; and though Mrs. Philips, as well asher sister, stood in too much awe of him to speak with thefamiliarity which Bingley's good humour encouraged, yet,whenever she did speak, she must be vulgar. Nor was herrespect for him, though it made her more quiet, at all likelyto make her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she could toshield him from the frequent notice of either, and was everanxious to keep him to herself, and to those of her family withwhom he might converse without mortification; and though theuncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from theseason of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hopeof the future; and she looked forward with delight to the timewhen they should be removed from society so little pleasing toeither, to all the comfort and elegance of their family partyat Pemberley.