The Colonel and the Horse-Thief

by Rex Ellingwood Beach

　　Those marks on my arm? Oh! I got 'em playin' horse-thief. Yes,playin'. I wasn't a real one, you know--Well, I s'pose it was sortof a queer game. Came near bein' my last too, and if Black Hawkhadn't been the best horse in Texas the old Colonel would've killedme sure. He chased me six miles as it was--me with one arm full ofhis buckshot and anxious to explain, and him strainin' to get inrange again and not wishin' any further particulars.You see five of us had gone over into the Crow Nation to race horseswith the Indians, and it was on the way back that the old man and thebullet holes figger in the story.At the beginnin' it was Jim Barrett's plan, and it had jest enoughrisk and devilment in it to suit a harum-scarum young feller like me;so we got five of the boys who had good horses, lumped together allof our money, and rode out to invade the reservation.You know how an Indian loves to run horses? Well, the Crows had agood deal of money then, and our scheme was to go over there, get upa big race, back our horses with all we had, and take down the wealth.Takin' chances? Don't you believe it. That's where the beauty ofJim's plan commenced to sort of shine through.You see, as soon as the money was up and the horses started, everyIndian would be watchin' the race and yellin' at the nags, then, inthe confusion, our boys was to grab the whole pot, Indian's money andours too, and we'd make our get away across the river back into Texas.We figured that we could get a few minutes start of 'em, and, withthe horses we had under us, there wasn't much danger of their gettin'in range before we crossed back to where they couldn't follow us.Well, sir! I never see anything work out like that scheme did. ThemCrows was dead anxious to run their ponies and seemed skeered that wewouldn't let 'em get all their money up.As we was eatin' supper the night before the race, Donnelly says:"Boys, I'm sore that we didn't have more coin. If we'd worked 'emright they'd 'a' give us odds. We could 'a' got five to threeanyhow, and maybe more.""They shore have got a heap of confidence in them skates of their'n,"says Kink Martin. "I never see anybody so anxious to play a race inmy life. If it wasn't all planned out the way it is, I'd like tostick and see which hoss is the best. I'd back Black Hawk agin anyhunk of meat in the Territory, with the Kid here in the saddle."They'd ribbed it up for me to ride Martin's mare, Black Hawk, while alittle feller named Hollis rode his own horse.Donnelly's part was to stay in the saddle and keep the other horsesclose to Barrett and Martin. They was to stick next to the money,and one of 'em do the bearin' off of the booty while the other madethe protection play.We hoped in the excitement to get off without harmin' any of UncleSam's pets, but all three of the boys had been with the Rangers and Iknew if it came to a show down, they wouldn't hesitate to "pot" oneor two in gittin' away.We rode out from camp the next mornin' to where we'd staked out amile track on the prairie and it seemed as if the whole Crow Nationwas there, and nary a white but us five.They'd entered two pretty good-lookin' horses and had their jockeysstripped down to breech-clouts, while Hollis and me wore our wholeoutfits on our backs, as we didn't exactly figger on dressin' afterthe race, leastways, not on that side of the river.Just before we lined up, Jim says: "Now you ---- all ride like ----,and when you git to the far turn we'll let the guns loose andstampede the crowd. Then jest leave the track and make a break ferthe river, everybody fer himself. We'll all meet at them cottonwoodson the other side, so we can stand 'em off if they try to swim acrossafter us."That would have been a sure enough hot race if we had run it out, forwe all four got as pretty a start as I ever see and went down theline all together with a-bangin' of hoofs and Indian yells ringin' inour ears.I had begun to work Black Hawk out of the bunch to get a clear startacross the prairie at the turn, when I heard the guns begin snappin'like pop-corn."They've started already," yelled Hollis, and we turned the rearin'horses toward the river, three miles away, leavin' them two savagestearin' down the track like mad.I glanced back as I turned, but, instead of seein' the boys in themidst of a decent retreat, the crowd was swarmin' after 'em like anest of angry hornets, while Donnelly, with his reins between histeeth, was blazin' away at three reds who were right at Barrett'sheels as he ran for his horse. Martin was lashin' his jumpin' cayuseaway from the mob which sputtered and spit angry shots after him.Bucks were runnin' here and there and hastily mountin' theirponies--while an angry roar came to me, punctuated by the poppin' ofthe guns.Hollis and I reached the river and swam it half a mile ahead of theothers and their yellin' bunch of trailers, so we were able toprotect 'em in their crossin'.I could see from their actions that Bennett and Martin was both hurtand I judged the deal hadn't panned out exactly accordin' tospecifications.The Crows didn't attempt to cross in the teeth of our fire, however,being satisfied with what they'd done, and the horses safely broughtour three comrades drippin' up the bank to where we lay takin'pot-shots at every bunch of feathers that approached the oppositebank.We got Barrett's arm into a sling, and, as Martin's hurt wasn'tserious, we lost no time in gettin' away."They simply beat us to it," complained Barrett, as we rode south."You all had jest started when young Long Hair grabs the sack andducks through the crowd, and the whole bunch turns loose on us atonce. We wasn't expectin' anything so early in the game, and theywinged me the first clatter. I thought sure it was oft with me whenI got this bullet in the shoulder, but I used the gun in my left handand broke for the nearest pony.""They got me, too, before I saw what was up," added Martin; "but Itore out of there like a jack-rabbit. It was all done so cussedquick that the first thing I knew I'd straddled my horse and wasmakin' tracks. Who'd a thought them durned Indians was dishonestenough fer a trick like that?"Then Donnelly spoke up and says: "Boys, as fur as the coin goes,we're out an' injured; we jest made a 'Mexican stand-off'--lost ourmoney, but saved our lives--and mighty lucky at that, fromappearances. What I want to know now is, how we're all goin' to gethome, clean across the State of Texas, without a dollar in theoutfit, and no assets but our guns and the nags."That was a sure tough proposition, and we had left it teetotally outof calculations. We'd bet every bean on that race, not seein' how wecould lose. In them days there wasn't a railroad in that section,ranches were scatterin', and people weren't givin' pink teas to everystranger that rode up--especially when they were as hard-lookin' aswe were."We've got to eat, and so's the horses," says Hollis, "but no rancheris goin' to welcome with open arms as disreputable an outfit as weare. Two men shot up, and the rest of us without beddin', grub,money, or explanations. Them's what we need--explanations. I don'texactly see how we're goin' to explain our fix to the honesthay-diggers, either. Everybody'll think some sheriff is after us,and two to one they'll put some officer on our trail, and we'll havemore trouble. I believe I've had all I want for awhile.""I'll tell you how we'll work it," I says. "One of us'll be thesheriff of Guadalupe County, back home, with three deputies, bringin'back a prisoner that we've chased across the State. We'll ride up toa ranch an' demand lodgin' for ourselves and prisoner in the name ofthe State of Texas and say that we'll pay with vouchers on the countyin the morning.""No, sir! not fer me," says Martin. "I'm not goin' in fer forgery.It's all right to practice a little mild deception on our redbrothers, as we figgered on doing, but I'm not goin' to try toflimflam the State of Texas. Our troubles 'd only be startin' if webegan that game.""Your plan's all right, Kid," says Bennett to me. "You be theterrible desperado that I'm bringin' home after a bloody fight, whereyou wounded Martin and me, and 'most escaped. You'll have ev'ryrancher's wife givin' you flowers and weepin' over your youth andkissin' you good-bye. In the mornin', when we're ready to go and I'mabout to fix up the vouchers for our host, you break away and ridelike the devil. We'll all tear off a few shots and foller in ahurry, leavin' the farmer hopin' that the villain is recaptured andthe girls tearfully prayin' that the gallunt and misguided youthescapes."It seemed to be about our only resort, as the country was full of badmen, and we were liable to get turned down cold if we didn't havesome story, so we decided to try it on.We rode up to a ranch 'bout dark, that night, me between the others,with my hands tied behind me, and Jim called the owner out."I want a night's lodgin' fer my deputies and our prisoner," he says."I'm the sheriff of Guadalupe County, and I'll fix up the bill in themornin'.""Come in! Come in!" the feller says, callin' a man for the horses."Glad to accommodate you. Who's your prisoner?""That's Texas Charlie that robbed the Bank of Euclid single-handed,"answers Jim. "He give us a long run clean across the State, but wegot him jest as he was settin' over into the Indian Territory.Fought like a tiger."It worked fine. The feller, whose name was Morgan, give us a goodlayout for the night and a bully breakfast next morning.That desperado game was simply great. The other fellers attended tothe horses, and I jest sat around lookin' vicious, and had my grubbrought to me, while the women acted sorrowful and fed me pie andwatermelon pickles.When we was ready to leave next morning, Jim says: "Now, Mr. Morgan,I'll fix up them vouchers with you," and givin' me the wink, I letout a yell, and jabbin' the spurs into Black Hawk, we cleared thefence and was off like a puff of dust, with the rest of 'em shootin'and screamin' after me like mad.Say! It was lovely--and when the boys overtook me, out of sight ofthe house, Morgan would have been astonished to see the sheriff, hisposse, and the terrible desperado doubled up in their saddleslaughin' fit to bust.Well, sir! we never had a hitch in the proceedings for five days, andI was gettin' to feel a sort of pride in my record as a bank-robber,forger, horse-thief, and murderer, accordin' to the way Bennettpresented it. He certainly was the boss liar of the range.He had a story framed up that painted me as the bloodiest young toughthe Lone Star had ever produced, and it never failed to get me allthe attention there was in the house.One night we came to the best lookin' place we'd seen, and, in answerto Jim's summons, out walked an old man, followed by two of theprettiest girls I ever saw, who joined their father in invitin' us in."Glad to be of assistance to you, Mr. Sheriff," he said. "My name isPurdy, sir! Colonel Purdy, as you may have heard. In the MexicanWar, special mention three times for distinguished conduct. Theseare my daughters, sir! Annabel and Marie." As we went in, hecontinued: "You say you had a hard time gettin' your prisoner? Helooks young for a criminal. What's he wanted for?"Somehow, when I saw those girls blushin' and bowin' behind theirfather, I didn't care to have my crimes made out any blacker'nnecessary and I tried to give Jim the high-sign to let me offeasy--just make it forgery or arson--but he was lookin' at theladies, and evidently believin' in the strength of a good impression,he said: "Well, yes! He's young but they never was a old man withhalf his crimes. He's wanted for a good many things in differentplaces, but I went after him for horse-stealin' and murder. Killed arancher and his little daughter, then set fire to the house and ranoff a bunch o' stock.""Oh! Oh! How dreadful!" shuddered the girls, backin' off withhorrified glances at me.I tried to get near Jim to step on his foot, but the old man wasglarin' at me somethin' awful."Come to observe him closely, he has a depraved face," says he. "Helooks the thorough criminal in every feature, dead to every decentimpulse, I s'pose."I could have showed him a live impulse that would have surprised himabout then.In those days I was considered a pretty handsome feller too, and Iknew I had Jim beat before the draw on looks, but he continues makin'matters worse."Yes, and he's desperate too. One of the worst I ever see. We hadan awful fight with him up here on the line of the Territory. Heshot Martin and me before we got him. Ye see, I wanted to take himalive, and so I took chances on gettin' hurt."Thank ye, Miss; my arm does ache considerable; of course, if you'djest as soon dress it--Oh, no! I'm no braver'n anybody else, Iguess. Nice of ye to say so, anyhow," and he went grinnin' out intothe kitchen with the girls to fix up his arm.The old man insisted on havin' my feet bound together and me fastenedto a chair, and said: "Yes, yes, I know you can watch him, but you'rein my house now, and I feel a share of the responsibility upon me.I've had experience with desperate characters and I'm goin' to besure that this young reprobate don't escape his just punishment. Areyou sure you don't need more help gettin' him home? I'll go with youif--""Thank ye," interrupted Hollis. "We've chased the scoundrel fourhundred miles, and I reckon, now we've got him, we can keep him."At supper, Jim with his arm in a new sling, sat between the two girlswho cooed over him and took turns feedin' him till it made me sick.The old man had a nigger move my chair up to the foot of the tableand bring me a plate of coarse grub after they all finished eatin'.He had tied my ankles to the lower rung of the chair himself, andwhen I says to the nigger, "Those cords have plum stopped mycirculation, just ease 'em up a little," he went straight up."Don't you touch them knots, Sam!" he roared. "I know how to securea man, and don't you try any of your games in my house, either, youyoung fiend. I'd never forgive myself if you escaped."I ate everything I could reach, which wasn't much, and when I askedfor the butter he glared at me and said: "Butter's too good forhorse-thieves; eat what's before you."Every time I'd catch the eye of one of the girls and kind of grin andlook enticing, she'd shiver and tell Jim that the marks of mydepravity stood out on my face like warts on a toad.Jim and the boys would all grin like idiots and invent a new crimefor me. On the square, if I'd worked nights from the age of three Icouldn't have done half they blamed me for.They put it to the old man so strong that when he turned in hechained me to Sam, the cross-eyed nigger that stood behind me atsupper, and made us sleep on the floor.I told Sam that I cut a man's throat once because he snored, and thatnigger never closed an eye all night. I was tryin' to get even withsomebody.After breakfast, when it came time to leave, Donnelly untied my feetand led me out into the yard, where the girls were hangin' around theColonel and Jim, who was preparin' to settle up.As we rode up the evening before, I had noticed that we turned infrom the road through a lane, and that the fence was too high tojump, so, when I threw my leg over Black Hawk, I hit Donnelly a swatin the neck, and, as he did a stage-fall, I swept through the gateand down the lane.The old man cut the halter off one of his Mexican war-whoops, andbroke through the house on the run, appearin' at the front door withhis shot-gun just as I checked up to make the turn onto the main road.As I swung around, doubled over the horse's neck, he let drive withhis old blunderbuss, and I caught two buckshot in my right arm whereyou see them marks.I had sense enough to hang on and ride for my life, because I knewthe old fire-eater would reckon it a pleasure to put an end to such awretch as me, if he got half a chance.I heard him howl, "Come on boys! We'll get him yet," and, over myshoulder, I saw him jump one of his loose horses standin' in the yardand come tearin' down the lane, ahead of the befuddled sheriff andposse, his white hair streamin' and the shot-gun wavin' aloft, asthough chargin' an army of greasers at the head of his regiment.From the way he drew away from the boys, I wouldn't have placed anymoney that he was wrong either.I've always wondered how the old man ever got through that war withonly three recommendations to the government.He certainly kept good horses too, for in five minutes we'd left theposse behind, and I saw him madly urgin' his horse into range,reloadin' as he came.As I threw the quirt into the mare with my good arm, I allowed I'dhad about all the horse-stealin' I wanted for a while.The old devil finally saw he was losin' ground in spite of his bestefforts, and let me have both barrels. I heard the shot patter onthe hard road behind me, and hoped he'd quit and go home, but I'mblamed if he didn't chase me five miles further before turnin' back,in hopes I'd cast a shoe or something would happen to me.I believe I was on the only horse in Texas that could have outrun theColonel and his that mornin'.About noon I stopped at a blacksmith's shop, half dead with pain, andhad my arm dressed and a big jolt of whiskey.As the posse rode up to me, sittin' in the sun by the lathered flanksof my horse and nursin' my arm, Jim yells out: "Here he is! Surroundhim, boys! You're our prisoner!""No! I'm blamed if I am," I says. "You'll have to get anotherdesperado. After this, I'm the sheriff!"