The Fatal Error

by T.S. Arthur

  


"Clinton!" said Margaret Hubert, with a look of supreme contempt.Don't speak of him to me, Lizzy. His very name is an offence to myears!" and the lady's whole manner became disturbed."He will be at the ball to-night, of course, and will renew hisattentions," said the friend, in an earnest, yet quiet voice. "Now,for all your expressions of dislike, I have thought that you werereally far from being indifferent to Mr. Clinton, and affected arepugnance at variance with your true feelings.""Lizzy, you will offend me if you make use of such language. I tellyou he is hateful to me," replied Miss Hubert."Of course, you ought to know your own state of mind best," saidLizzy Edgar. "If it is really as you say, I must confess that myobservation has not been accurate. As to there being anything in Mr.Clinton to inspire an emotion of contempt, or create so strong adislike as you express, I have yet to see it. To me he has everappeared in the light of a gentleman.""Then suppose you make yourself agreeable to him, Lizzy," said MissHubert."I try to make myself agreeable to every one," replied theeven-minded girl. "That is a duty I owe to those with whom Iassociate.""Whether you like them or not?""It doesn't follow, because I do not happen to like a person, that Ishould render myself disagreeable to him.""I never tolerate people that I don't like," said Miss Hubert."We needn't associate too intimately with those who are disagreeableto us," returned her friend; "but when we are thrown together insociety, the least we can do is to be civil.""You may be able to disguise your real feelings, but I cannot.Whatever emotion passes over my mind is seen in my face anddiscovered in my tone of voice. All who know me see me as I am."And yet, notwithstanding this affirmation, Margaret Hubert did not,at all times, display her real feelings. And her friend Lizzy Edgarwas right in assuming that she was by no means indifferent to Mr.Clinton. The appearance of dislike was assumed as a mask, and thedistance and reserve she displayed towards him were the offspring ofa false pride and unwomanly self-esteem. The truth was, her hearthad, almost unsought, been won. The manly bearing, personal graceand brilliant mind of Philip Clinton, had captivated her feelingsand awakened an emotion of love ere she was conscious that her heartwas in danger. And she had even leaned towards him instinctively,and so apparently that the young man observed it, and was attractedthereby. The moment, however, he became at all marked in hisattentions, the whole manner of Margaret changed. She was then awareof the rashness she had displayed, and her pride instantly took thealarm. Reserve, dignity, and even hauteur, characterized her bearingtowards Clinton; and to those who spoke of him as a lover, shereplied in terms nearly similar to what she used to her friend LizzyEdgar, on the occasion to which reference has just been made.All this evidenced weakness of mind as well as pride. She wished tobe sought before she was won--at least, that was the language sheused to herself. Her lover must come, like a knight of old, and sueon bended knee for favor.Clinton observed the marked change in her manner. Fortunately forhis peace of mind, he was not so deeply in love as to be veryseriously distressed. He had admired her beauty, heraccomplishments, and the winning grace of her manners; and more, hadfelt his heart beginning to warm towards her. But the charm withwhich she had been invested, faded away the moment the change ofwhich we have spoken became apparent. He was not a man of strong,ungovernable impulses; all his passions were under the control ofright reason, and this gave him a clear judgment. Consequently, hewas the last person in the world for an experiment such as MargaretHubert was making. At first he thought there must be some mistake,and continued to offer the young lady polite attentions, coldly anddistantly as they were received. He even went farther than his realfeelings bore him out in going, and made particular advances, inorder to be perfectly satisfied that there was no mistake about herdislike or repugnance.But there was one thing which at first Clinton did not understand.It was this. Frequently, when in company where Margaret was present,he would, if he turned his eyes suddenly upon her, find that she waslooking at him with an expression which told him plainly that he wasnot indifferent to her. This occurred so often, and was sofrequently attended with evident confusion on her part, that hebegan to have a suspicion of the real truth, and to feel disgust atso marked an exhibition of insincerity. Besides, the thought ofbeing experimented upon in this way, did not in the least tend tosoften his feelings towards the fair one. He believed in frankness,honesty and reciprocal sincerity. He liked a truthful, ingenuousmind, and turned instinctively from all artifice, coquetry oraffectation.The game which Miss Hubert was playing had been in progress only ashort time, when her friend Lizzy Edgar, who was on terms of closeintimacy, spent the day with her, occupying most of the time inpreparation for a fancy ball that was to come off that night. Thetwo young ladies attired themselves with much care, each with a viewto effect. Margaret looked particularly to the assumption of acertain dignity, and her costume for the evening had been chosenwith that end in view. A ruff, and her grand-mother's rich silkbrocade, did give to her tall person all the dignity she could havedesired.At the proper time the father of Miss Hubert accompanied the youngladies to the ball, preparations for which had for some time been inprogress. As soon almost as Margaret entered the room, her eyesbegan to wander about in search of Mr. Clinton. It was not longbefore she discovered him--nor long before his eyes rested upon andrecognized her stately figure."If she be playing a part, as I more than half suspect," said theyoung man to himself, "her performance will end to-night, so far asI am concerned."And with the remark, he moved towards that part of the room wherethe two young ladies were standing. Lizzy returned his salutationswith a frank and easy grace, but Margaret drew herself up coldly,and replied to his remarks with brief formality. Clinton remainedwith them only long enough to pass a few compliments, and then movedaway and mingled with the crowd in another part of the large saloon,where the gay company were assembled. During the next hour, he tookoccasion now and then to search out Margaret in the crowd, and morethan once he found that her eyes were upon him."Once more," he said, crossing the room and going up to where shewas leaning upon the arm of an acquaintance."May I have the pleasure of dancing with you in the next set?""Thank you, sir," replied Margaret, with unbending dignity; "I amalready engaged."Clinton bowed and turned away. The fate of the maiden was sealed.She had carried her experiment too far. As the young man movedacross the room, he saw Lizzy Edgar sitting alone, her face lit upwith interest as she noted the various costumes, and observed theever-forming and dissolving tableaux that filled the saloon, andpresented to the eye a living kaleidoscope."Alone," he said, pausing before the warm-hearted, even temperedgirl."One cannot be alone here," she replied, with a sweet smileirradiating her countenance. "What a fairy scene it is," she added,as her eyes wandered from the face of Clinton and again fell uponthe brilliant groups around them."Have you danced this evening?" asked Clinton."In one set," answered Lizzy."Are you engaged for the next in which you may feel disposed to takethe floor?""No, sir.""Then may I claim you for my partner?""If it is your pleasure to do so," replied Lizzy, smiling.In a cotillion formed soon afterward in that part of the room, wereMargaret Hubert and her sweet friend Lizzy Edgar. Margaret had awarmer color on her cheeks than usual, and her dignity towered upinto an air of haughtiness, all of which Clinton observed. Itseffect was to make his heart cold towards her, instead of awakeningan ardent desire to win a proud and distant beauty.In vain did Margaret look for the young man to press forward, themoment the cotillion was dissolved, and claim her for the next. Helingered by the side of Miss Edgar, more charmed with her than hehad ever been, until some one else came and engaged the hand of MissHubert. The disappointed and unhappy girl now unbent herself fromthe cold dignity that had marked her bearing since her entrance intothe ball-room, and sought to win him to her side by the flashingbrilliancy of her manners; but her efforts were unavailing. Clintonhad felt the sweeter, purer, stronger attractions of one free fromall artifice; and when he left her side, he had no wish to pass tothat of one whose coldness had repelled, and whose haughtiness hadinsulted him.On the next day, when Lizzy called upon her friend, she found her ina very unhappy state of mind. As to the ball and the people whoattended, she was exceedingly captious in all her remarks. WhenClinton was mentioned, she spoke of him with a sneer. Lizzy hardlyknew how to take her. Why the young man should be so offensive, shewas at a loss to imagine, and honestly came to the conclusion thatshe had been mistaken in her previous supposition that Margaretreally felt an interest in him.A few evenings only elapsed before Clinton called upon Miss Edgar,and from that time visited her regularly. An offer of marriage wasthe final result. This offer Lizzy accepted.The five or six months that elapsed from the time Clinton becameparticular in his attentions to Miss Edgar, until he formallydeclared himself a lover, passed with Margaret Herbert in onelong-continued and wild struggle with her feelings. Conscious of hererror, and madly conscious, because conviction had come too late,she wrestled vigorously, but in vain, with a passion that, but forher own folly, would have met a free and full return. Lizzy spoke toher of Clinton's marked attentions, but did not know how, like heavyand painful strokes, every word she uttered fell upon her heart. Shesaw that Margaret was far from being happy, and often tenderly urgedher to tell the cause, but little dreamed of the real nature of hersufferings.At last Lizzy told her, with a glowing cheek, that Clinton had ownedhis love for her, and claimed her hand in marriage. For some momentsafter this communication was made, Margaret could offer no reply.Her heart trembled faintly in her bosom and almost ceased to beat;but she rallied herself, and concealed what she felt under warmcongratulations. Lizzy was deceived, though in her friend's mannerthere was something that she could not fully comprehend."You must be my bridesmaid," said the happy girl, a month or twoafterwards."Why not choose some one else?" asked Margaret."Because I love you better than any friend I have," replied Lizzy,putting an arm around the neck of Margaret and kissing her."No, no; I cannot--I cannot!" was the unexpressed thought ofMargaret--while something like a shudder went over her. But the eyesof her friend did not penetrate the sad secret of her heart."Come, dear, say yes. Why do you hesitate? I would hardly believemyself married if you were not by my side when the nuptial pledgewas given.""It shall be as you wish," replied Margaret."Perhaps you misunderstood me," said Lizzy, playfully; "I was notspeaking of my funeral, but of my wedding."This sportive sally gave Margaret an opportunity to recover herself,which she did promptly; and never once, from that time until thewedding day of her friend arrived, did she by look or word betraywhat was in her heart.Intense was the struggle that went on in the mind of MargaretHubert. But it was of no avail; she loved Clinton with a wildintensity that was only the more fervid from its hopelessness. Butpride and a determined will concealed what neither could destroy.At last the wedding night of Lizzy Edgar arrived, and a largecompany assembled to witness the holy rite that was to be performed,and to celebrate the occasion with appropriate festivities.Margaret, when the morning of that day broke coldly and drearilyupon her, felt so sad at heart that she wept, and, weeping, wishedthat she could die. There had been full time for reflection since,by her own acts, she had repulsed one in whom her heart felt a deepinterest, and repulsed him with such imprudent force that he neverreturned to her again. Suffering had chastened her spirit, althoughit could not still the throbbings of pain. As the time approachedwhen she must stand beside her friend and listen to vows ofperpetual love that she would have given all the world, were it inher possession, to hear as her own, she felt that she was aboutentering upon a trial for which her strength would be little morethan adequate.But there was no retreat now. The ordeal had to be passed through.At last the time of trial came, and she descended with her friend,and stood up with her before the minister of God, who was to say thefitting words and receive the solemn vows required in the marriagecovenant. From the time Margaret took her place on the floor, shefelt her power over herself failing. Most earnestly did she strugglefor calmness and self-control, but the very fear that inspired thisstruggle made it ineffectual. When the minister in a deeplyimpressive voice, said, "I pronounce you husband and wife," her eyesgrew dim, and her limbs trembled and failed; she sunk forward, andwas only kept from falling by the arm of the minister, which wasextended in time to save her.Twenty years have passed since that unhappy evening, and MargaretHubert is yet unmarried. It was long before she could quench thefire that had burned so fiercely in her heart. When it did go out,the desolate hearth it left remained ever after cold and dark.


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