The Lady Higher Up

by O. Henry

　　

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New York City, they said, was deserted; and that accounted, doubtless, forthe sounds carrying so far in the tranquil summer air. The breeze wassouth-by-southwest; the hour was midnight; the theme was a bit of femininegossip by wireless mythology. Three hundred and sixty-five feet above theheated asphalt the tiptoeing symbolic deity on Manhattan pointed hervacillating arrow straight, for the time, in the direction of her exaltedsister on Liberty Island. The lights of the great Garden were out; the benches in the Square were filled with sleepers in postures so strange thatbeside them the writhing figures in Dore's illustrations of the Infernowould have straightened into tailor's dummies. The statue of Diana on thetower of the Garden -- its constancy shown by its weathercock ways, itsinnocence by the coating of gold that it has acquired, its devotion tostyle by its single, graceful flying scarf, its candour and artlessness byits habit of ever drawing the long bow, its metropolitanism by its postureof swift flight to catch a Harlem train -- remained poised with its arrowpointed across the upper bay. Had that arrow sped truly and horizontallyit would have passed fifty feet above the head of the heroic matron whoseduty it is to offer a cast-ironical welcome to the oppressed of otherlands. Seaward this lady gazed, and the furrows between steamship lines began tocut steerage rates. The translators, too, have put an extra burden uponher. "Liberty Lighting the World" (as her creator christened her) wouldhave had a no more responsible duty, except for the size of it, than thatof an electrician or a Standard Oil magnate. But to "enlighten" the world(as our learned civic guardians "Englished" it) requires abler qualities.And so poor Liberty, instead of having a sinecure as a mere illuminator,must be converted into a Chautauqua schoolma'am, with the oceans for herfield instead of the placid, classic lake. With a fireless torch and anempty head must she dispel the shadows of the world and teach it its A, B,C's. "Ah, there, Mrs. Liberty!" called a clear, rollicking soprano voicethrough the still, midnight air. "Is that you, Miss Diana? Excuse my not turning my head. I'm not asflighty and whirly-whirly as some. And 'tis so hoarse I am I can hardlytalk on account of the peanut-hulls left on the stairs in me throat bythat last boatload of tourists from Marietta, Ohio. 'Tis after being afine evening, miss." "If you don't mind my asking," came the bell-like tones of the goldenstatue, "I'd like to know where you got that City Hall brogue. I didn'tknow that Liberty was necessarily Irish." "If ye'd studied the history of art in its foreign complications ye'd notneed to ask," replied the offshore statue. "If ye wasn't so light-headedand giddy ye'd know that I was made by a Dago and presented to theAmerican people on behalf of the French Government for the purpose ofwelcomin' Irish immigrants into the Dutch city of New York. 'Tis thatI've been doing night and day since I was erected. Ye must know, MissDiana, that 'tis with statues the same as with people -- 'tis not theirmakers nor the purposes for which they were created that influence theoperations of their tongues at all -- it's the associations with whichthey become associated, I'm telling ye." "You're dead right," agreed Diana. "I notice it on myself. If any of theold guys from Olympus were to come along and hand me any hot air in theancient Greek I couldn't tell it from a conversation between a ConeyIsland car conductor and a five-cent fare." "I'm right glad ye've made up your mind to be sociable, Miss Diana," saidMrs. Liberty. "'Tis a lonesome life I have down here. Is there anythingdoin' up in the city, Miss Diana, dear?" "Oh, la, la, la! -- no," said Diana. "Notice that 'la, la, la,' AuntLiberty? Got that from 'Paris by Night' on the roof garden under me.You'll hear that 'la, la, la' at the Cafe McCann now, along with'garsong.' The bohemian crowd there have become tired of 'garsong' sinceO'Rafferty, the head waiter, punched three of them for calling him it.Oh, no; the town's strickly on the bum these nights. Everybody's away.Saw a downtown merchant on a roof garden this evening with hisstenographer. Show was so dull he went to sleep. A waiter biting on adime tip to see if it was good half woke him up. He looks around and seeshis little pothooks perpetrator. 'H'm!' says he, 'will you take a letter,Miss De St. Montmorency?' 'Sure, in a minute,' says she, 'if you'll makeit an X.' "That was the best thing happened on the roof. So you see how dull itis. La, la, la!" "'Tis fine ye have it up there in society, Miss Diana. Ye have the catshow and the horse show and the military tournaments where the privateslook grand as generals and the generals try to look grand asfloor-walkers. And ye have the Sportsmen's Show, where the girl thatmeasures 36 19, 45 cooks breakfast food in a birch-bark wigwam on thebanks of the Grand Canal of Venice conducted by one of the Vanderbilts,Bernard McFadden, and the Reverends Dowie and Duss. And ye have theFrench ball, where the original Cohens and the Robert Emmet-SangerbundSociety dance the Highland fling one with another. And ye have the grandO'Ryan ball, which is the most beautiful pageant in the world, where theFrench students vie with the Tyrolean warblers in doin' the cake walk. Yehave the best job for a statue in the whole town, Miss Diana." "'Tis weary work," sighed the island statue, "disseminatin' the science ofliberty in New York Bay. Sometimes when I take a peep down at EllisIsland and see the gang of immigrants I'm supposed to light up, 'tistempted I am to blow out the gas and let the coroner write out theirnaturalization papers." "Say, it's a shame, ain't it, to give you the worst end of it?" came thesympathetic antiphony of the steeplechase goddess. "It must be awfullylonesome down there with so much water around you. I don't see how youever keep your hair in curl. And that Mother Hubbard you are wearing wentout ten years ago. I think those sculptor guys ought to be held fordamages for putting iron or marble clothes on a lady. That's where Mr.St. Gaudens was wise. I'm always e little ahead of the styles; butthey're coming my way pretty fast. Excuse my back a moment -- I caught apuff of wind from the north -- shouldn't wonder if things had loosened upin Esopus. There, now! it's in the West -- I should think that gold plankwould have calmed the air out in that direction. What were you saying,Mrs. Liberty?" "A fine chat I've had with ye, Miss Diana, ma'am, but I see one of themEuropean steamers a-sailin' up the Narrows, and I must be attendin' to meduties. 'Tis me job to extend aloft the torch of Liberty to welcome allthem that survive the kicks that the steerage stewards give 'em whilelandin.' Sure 'tis a great country ye can come to for $8.50, and thedoctor waitin' to send ye back home free if he sees yer eyes red fromcryin' for it." The golden statue veered in the changing breeze, menacing many points onthe horizon with its aureate arrow. "So long, Aunt Liberty," sweetly called Diana of the Tower. "Some night,when the wind's right. I'll call you up again. But -- say! you haven'tgot such a fierce kick coming about your job. I've kept a pretty goodwatch on the island of Manhattan since I've been up here. That's a prettysick-looking bunch of liberty chasers they dump down at your end of it;but they don't all stay that way. Every little while up here I see guyssigning checks and voting the right ticket, and encouraging the arts and taking a bath every morning, that was shoved ashore by a dock labourer bornin the United States who never earned over forty dollars a month. Don'trun down your job, Aunt Liberty; you're all right, all right."

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